The Courageour Reunion Tour 2011 Christmastime Spectacular! 12.25.11 - Ian Scott & Jesse Day Well Jesus Christ, Sam. When we said that we'd be seeing y'all again in another couple of years, we didn't really mean to take this long! Still, here we are, two fine years after the last update - and what a strange two years it has been! Ian was proclaimed the wisest fool to ever live, while Jesse nearly won the War on Christmas until trecherous St. Nick turned heel and hit him with a steel Christmas tree to cost him the MUW* World Title. (*Made Up Wrestling.) Nevertheless, here we are with pure minds and hearts overflowing with the goodness of the season, to bring you a number of excellent Christmastime offerings. Hell yeah, brethren! Let's get to it! Johnny rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard, 'cause hell's broke loose in Georgia and the devil deals the cards! First, we are proud (and perhaps even vainglorious) to debut a brand new comic for you all! Jesse's been working real hard on this one, and he calls it Bayden Gounds: World Hero. It's like nothing you've ever seen before, except perhaps in your strangest dreams. Come one, come all, and witness our hero Bayden as he battles the forces of evil! Would it even be Christmas without a new adventure from Chester, Mike and the rest of the Linkin Park gang? Well, probably. In fact, some might even prefer their Christmas to be free from whiny rap-rock music. Still, that's not going to slow down our heroes as they embark upon another wild and improbable caper that will test both their wits and the goodness in their hearts. We call it Chester vs. Mean Girls. Note: this episode contains bonus POLITICAL SATIRE and NERD JOKES. Finally, come for a stroll down memory lane with Ian (his memories, not yours, unless you happen to have played the same obscure video game) as he reviews the forgotten not-so-classic sequel to the greatest wrestling video game of all time, Ring of Destruction: Slam Masters 2. Find out how Capcom managed to screw up what should have been a sure-fire classic and have a merry fucking Christmas wondering what could have been! Well, that's all for today. You don't have to go home, but you probably should, because it's Christmas and your family would like to see you! Merry Christmas and a Hulkamania New Year! The Courageour Comeback Special! 01.01.10 - Ian Scott & Jesse Day Listen: The Courageour Knights in days gone by And the website they made had courage and greatness. We have heard of those princes' heroic updates. Well howdy. Six years ago, we set out on a bold and perilous journey across the badlands of the Internet, on a quest to bring humour, courage, and even the occasional joke about oral sex to the wide world of the world wide web. That went mostly okay, I guess, for a couple of years, until a bunch of stupid Warlocks took over our site and made it suck. Well, much like the legendary Hulk Hogan whose greatness we look to as a shining orange beacon in the night, we are making a comeback, brethren! We've even brought a few late Christmas presents for ya'll: First, for the man who yearns for the fuel to fight the very WORLD that gave him LIFE, we are proud to present the first edition of Someone's in the Kitchen with INNER FURY~!, the first and only cookbook written, endorsed, and even occasionally used by the Courageour Knights. How do you like them apples? You'll like them pretty well once we tell you how to cook them, I reckon! Next, we are (fairly) prowd to once again relate the exciting adventures of the greatest rock band on earth, Linkin Park, as they travel the world and make it a better, more surreal place to live one mystery at a time. Take a gander at Chester vs. The Knights of the Round Table, an exciting parable that sort of explains how our website was taken back from the dastardly Warlocks! But not really! That's not the only thing Chester and the gang have been up to these past couple years. Gape in awe as the boys from Linkin Park have their greatest adventure yet in the sleepy town of Star's Hollow in the world premier of Chester vs. The Gilmore Girls! You'll laugh, you'll cry, and most of all you'll wonder why, as our noble heroes defend Christmas itself from the nefarious forces of darkness! Everything old is new again (or at least, some old things don't suck anymore): We went ahead and updated the Courageour Knights Generic Wrestling Name Generator to version 2.0! Now it includes nicknames, finishing moves, and 50% more blandness than ever before! If you're a skinny white kid with no body hair or muscle tone whose biggest dream in life is to do a bunch of stupid looking flips and shit in front of twelve guys in your local armory, don't you DARE slap on a pair of generic black wrestling boots and trunks without first giving yourself a catchy sorbriquet like Trevor "Killer" Payne or "Kid Sensational" Mark Williams. The Name Generator isn't the only thing we've recycled for this update, though! Head CourageourKnights.com librarian Will Coldback delved deep into the archives and managed to dig up a musty old thing Jesse wrote a million fucking years ago: The Epic Quest of Gerswindaliusosorification. It's a modest thing, but better than the shitty fantasy parodies Ian used to write, that's for damn sure! Finally, as if all that was not enough - and after a two and a half year exodus, you'd be more than justified in thinking that! - we've got a whole fucking JAR of cherries to stick atop our update sundae: witness the glory of the greatest thing to ever happen on the Internet: an event so momentous we had to introduce it with no fewer than THREE colons, that's how good it is: Old Blacksnake and Old Mule!!! Well, I suppose that does it for this evening. See ya'll again in another couple of years!