proudly presents...
LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW!!
Welcome the biggest event of the holiday season, Deck the Halls 2000!! It's Saturday, December twenty-third, and Christmas is bringing an early present in the form of one of the most intense and promising pay-per-views we've seen in a long time! Having said that, it's time to completely shoot that statement in the foot with a match that promises to be an exercise in stupidity and poor ringwork.
"Smells Like Nirvana" by Weird Al Yankovic is playing over the arena sound system, and here come the Middle-Aged Outlaws, Hunk Higgins and Ruby Richard Cage, along with "The Pest of the West" Jesse Smark. They're set to take on Moy Lazzario and Steve "Mongo" McMichael tonight, after an upset win by Ruby Richard Cage over Mongo sparked a feud. They climb into the ring, and here comes that same old tired routine again... Ruby Richard Cage spins around pointing at the crowd, then makes a sign for the Ruby Cutter to a pathetic pyro display, as Hunk Higgins tears off his tank top and flexes his muscles, then poses for the crowd with his hand cupped to his ear. The crowd boos mildly, and Ruby Richard Cage grabs a microphone.
R.R. Cage: Dudes and dudettes, cats and chicks, and all you little kids out there, the baby boomer generation is proud to bring to you the future ONE-TIME! ONE-TIME! ONE-TIME! ... VCW TAG team CHAMPIONS of the WOOOOORRRRLD... "The Immortal" Hunk Higgins, Ruby Richard Cage, the MIDDLE-AGED OUTLAWS!!
H. Higgins: And brother, if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya... TOUGH CRAP!!
The crowd's not into this at all. Those who missed their chance to hit the concession stands and bathrooms during the Waste-of-Time are taking the chance to do so now.
R.R. Cage: Ever since I beat Mongo like the jacked-up football monkey that he is, Moy Lazzario and Mongo have been whining and crying like a couple of little babies. They think they can take on two established legends like us!? I DON'T THINK SO. Even if they're JACKED UP... even if they're JACKED TO THE MOON... we're gonna repeat history again and beat those goofs TWO TIMES! TWO TIMES! TWO TIMES! Ain' that right, big man!?
H. Higgins: Well, ya know somethin', Hunkamaniacs, after tonight there won't be any doubt who the man is, there won't be any doubt where the power lies, and there won't be any doubt that Hunkamania is the strongest force in the universe, brother. Moy Lazzario is nothing but a skinny little Johnny-come-lately midget who couldn't sell out a flea market, nothing more than a Hunk Higgins wanna-be who couldn't lace my boots, brother. And Mongo... Mongo may be a big man and a great technical wrestler, but he's no Hunk Higgins, he's just another Hunk Higgins wanna-be with a big streak of yellow running down his back, Jack.
And just the other day, when I was hanging and banging down at Venice Beach, brother, all the little Hunkamaniacs came up to me and said, "Please, Hunk Higgins, drag Moy Lazzario and Mongo out of the rafters and beat them like the cowards they are!" And I promised right then and there that after tonight, they'll both know that Hunkamania is the strongest force in the universe, after I wrap my forty-two inch anacondas around their heads and squeeze the life out of them. And for Mongo and Moy Lazzario, there's just one question they have to ask themselves, brother... what'cha gonna do when Hunkamania, the big man Ruby Richard Cage, and the forty-two inch anacondas RUN WILD ON YOU!?!?
What a couple of complete idiots. And here come two more, as "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit begins playing over the arena sound system, bringing out Moy Lazzario and Steve "Mongo" McMichael. And dear Lord, Moy Lazzario has a microphone too. The nonsensical banter continues...
M. Lazzario: First of all, you two happy-Jack old timers need to shut the hell up. And second of all, I can't believe that I've been lowered to fighting both of you. I'm the Rookie Sensation. I'm the Next Big Thing. I'm the Toughest S-O-B in VCW. So what the hell am I doing jerking the curtain against the two biggest losers since Duane Gill and Barry Horowitz? I tell you what... Mongo, you ignorant slut, why'd you have to go and lose to that old man, anyway!?
Mongo grabs the microphone, not looking completely happy with what was just said about him.
S. McMichael: Never mind that now. The point is that we're two of the top athaletes in VCW, and it's about time we starting moving up to the top, baby. So listen up, you two old-timers, we're going to the top, and we're gonna do it by getting in that ring and whooping your tails, baby!!
Mongo and Moy Lazzario are headed to the ring, and climbing inside. Referee Linda Peterson enters the ring as well, and we've got a match as Mongo and Ruby Richard Cage remain in the ring to start things off!!
Middle-Aged Outlaws
w/Jesse Smark
vs.
Moy Lazzario & Steve "Mongo" McMichael
Mongo locks up with Ruby Richard Cage to start, and immediately shoves him into the corner, then begins clobbering him with kneelifts and forearm smashes. Ruby Richard Cage staggers out, and Mongo DRILLS him with a powerslam! He's going fo the pin, and this could be over already! Linda Peterson makes the count... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Hunk Higgins enters the ring and makes the save at two and a half! Mongo lays in a few more shots to Ruby Richard Cage, then gives him a big vertical suplex. The already-dead crowd is dying even more as Mongo keeps laying in the boring offense. There's a bodyslam on Ruby Richard Cage, and now Mongo tags in Moy Lazzario.
Moy Lazzario climbs up to the top turnbuckle... Ruby Richard Cage is still down... and Moy Lazzario comes off the top to nail him with a flying elbowdrop! He's hooking the leg for the cover, and Linda Peterson's in position... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Once again, Hunk Higgins enters the ring and makes the save for his partner! Moy Lazzario picks Ruby Richard Cage up and tosses him into a corner, then drills him with a few kicks to the midsection. Ruby Richard Cage staggers out, and Moy Lazzario grabs him, and gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Ruby Richard Cage comes off the ropes... and Moy Lazzario hits the Lou Thesz press!! And now he's on top of Ruby Richard Cage, laying in the punches! Ruby Richard Cage just got the Steve Austin treatment, and now Moy Lazzario picks him up... kick to the gut! Ace Crusher!! The crowd gives a weak pop for the blatant Steve Austin rip-off, and Ruby Richard Cage falls to the mat!
This could be the end... Moy Lazzario hooks Ruby Richard Cage for a vertical suplex, facing the ropes. He's going for the Slingshot Suplex! He lifts him up... but Ruby Richard Cage slips out behind! Moy Lazzario turns around... right into the Ruby Cutter!! Ruby Richard Cage just hit the Ruby Cutter on Moy Lazzario, and now both men are down! Moy Lazzario's sitting up, a little groggy... Ruby Richard Cage is crawling to his corner, and he makes the tag! Here comes Hunk Higgins!!
Hunk Higgins enters the ring, and knocks Moy Lazzario off his feet with a big right hand! Mongo enters the ring, and Higgins runs over him with a clothesline! For the time being, Hunk Higgins is actually fighting quite effectively! But that doesn't last long... he turns around, right into a savate kick from Moy Lazzario! Hunk Higgins goes down, and Moy Lazzario goes to the corner and tags in Mongo again.
Mongo enters the ring as Hunk Higgins gets up, and begins clubbing him across the back with several forearm shots. Mongo grabs Hunk Higgins from behind, and hits an atomic drop, then bounces off the ropes... football tackle!! Hunk Higgins just got sacked, and he's down and out on the mat! Mongo goes for the cover, and Linda Peterson's there to count... ONE! ... TWO!! ... Mongo pulled him up at two and a half!! He's not done yet! It's not enough to beat the Middle-Aged Outlaws in a competitive match... he wants to teach them a lesson. He takes Hunk Higgins down with a bodyslam, and makes the tag... here comes Moy Lazzario again.
Hunk Higgins is still down... Moy Lazzario bounces off the ropes, and hits a legdrop!! Hunk Higgins just got hit with his own move! But Moy Lazzario's not going for the cover... he sits Hunk Higgins up, grabs him by the arms, and sticks a knee in his back! We've seen this before... Moy Lazzario's putting on the surfboard! He's trying to rip off the forty-two inch anacondas!! Hunk Higgins is in a bad way... he may not have much left... but suddenly he just looked up! His eyes are getting wide! He's breathing hard! He starts shaking his head and snorting!! He's Hunking Up!!
Moy Lazzario is trying to hold the surfboard, but Hunk Higgins is powering out! He breaks the hold, and turns around... Moy Lazzario punches him in the face, but with absolutely no effect! Moy Lazzario goes for another punch, and Hunk Higgins blocks it!! He returns fire with three punches of his own, then whips Moy Lazzario into the ropes... BIG BOOT!! He just nailed him! But now Mongo is in the ring... he sees where this is going, and he's putting a stop to it with clubbing blows to Hunk Higgins!
Hunk Higgins goes down, but now Ruby Richard Cage is in the ring again! He tries to sneak up behind Mongo, but Mongo hauls off and kicks him in the midsection! Now Mongo's picking him up in a Gorilla Press... but Ruby Richard Cage squirms out of it! And he hooks Mongo's head on the way down... actually, no, he doesn't. There's a split second of awkwardness before Mongo sticks his neck out, literally... RUBY CUTTER!! Ruby Richard Cage just hit the Ruby Cutter! But now Moy Lazzario and Hunk Higgins are up, and Moy Lazzario rolls Hunk Higgins up in a small package! Linda Peterson's counting... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... NO! Ruby Richard Cage makes the save. Moy Lazzario turns around, in surprise... and Ruby Richard Cage hits the Ruby Cutter on him!! Now Hunk Higgins is up... he's bouncing off the ropes... BIG LEG DROP!! Hunk Higgins hit his move on Moy Lazzario, and he's going for the pin! Linda Peterson's down to count... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!!! Against all that makes any semblance of sense in this world, the Middle-Aged Outlaws just WON A MATCH!!
The
Middle-Aged Outlaws defeated Moy Lazzario and Steve McMichael
when Higgins pinned Lazzario with the Big Leg Drop in 0:06:25.
Rating: -***
The Middle-Aged Outlaws and Jesse Smark are heading down the aisle to the backstage area, celebrating like they just won the VCW World Title... and Moy Lazzario and Mongo are beginning to stir in the ring. They're exchanging a glance... Mongo doesn't look pleased at what just happened. He grabs a microphone as Moy Lazzario gets to his feet.
S. McMichael: What the hell was that all about, boy!? You mean to tell me you're so damn pitiful you can't even beat up an old geezer like that!? Listen to me when I'm talking, or I'll slap that goofy look off your face! I was the WCW United States Champion! I was one of the last four men EVER to call myself a Horseman! And I don't have time to be teaming up with a loser, so you'd better explain this real quick, baby.
Moy Lazzario's up now, and he looks a little mad. He goes up to Mongo... and he just ripped the microphone right out of his hand! Mongo takes a step back in shock, as Moy Lazzario raises the microphone.
M. Lazzario: Look, I'm not the one who started this by losing to Ruby Richard Cage, okay!? I'm not the one who only knows three moves and has no business being in a wrestling ring. And I'm not the one whose wife is fucking Stone Cold Steve Austin. So listen, you washed-up armchair quarterback, if you've got a problem with me carrying you to some moderate level of decency here in VCW, that's fine. If you want to go, we can go right now!!
Moy Lazzario is trying desperately to make the crowd care about this, putting some intensity into his speech, but it's just not going over. Mongo takes a step or two back, and somewhat hesitantly reaches out for the microphone.
S. McMichael: Okay. Hey, I didn't mean it that way. I don't want no trouble with you. We'll just work this out, and I'll buy you a drink, baby.
Moy Lazzario seems satisfied with that reconciliation, and he's stepping out of the ring and heading up the aisle. Mongo's leaving the ring too now... but he just grabbed a chair from ringside!! He runs up from behind Moy Lazzario, and clobbers him in the back with it! Moy Lazzario goes down, and Mongo just keeps drilling him across the back with that chair! He's beating him into a quivering pulp!! Moy Lazzario is down, and Mongo is storming off to the backstage area! The trainers are out, tending to Moy Lazzario... but he just had the worst luck today. Not only did he lose to Hunk Higgins, but now he gets laid out by his own partner. Will the poor idiot ever get a break!?
Speaking of poor idiots, the Heavy Metal Express have found themselves on the wrong side of the administration of VCW... specifically, Administration X. Tonight, they face the two strong-arm goons of Administration X, the Manhunters. Speaking of which, they're on their way to the ring right now, as "Degenerated" by the Lone Rangers plays over the arena sound system. The crowd boos as the Manhunters enter the ring and do a few X-shaped crotch chops... there's something just so WRONG about the Manhunters coming out to the old DeJohnnyration X music and doing X-shaped crotch chops.
But now "Talk Dirty To Me" by Poison is playing over the arena sound system, and here come Marty Jannetty and Lars Coverdale, the Heavy Metal Express! The crowd cheers as they enter the ring... but the cheers turn to almost unanimous groans as Marty and Lars promptly turn their backs on the Manhunters and start playing air guitar and banging their heads. Have they lost their minds? Or did they ever even have them!? The Manhunters jump them from behind, of course, and Marty Jannetty is quickly thrown out of the ring. It'll be Lars Coverdale starting off with Manhunter #1, as referee Jerry Rogers enters the ring to call the match.
Manhunters
vs.
Heavy Metal Express
Manhunter #1 opens up on Lars Coverdale with a series of punches and forearm shots, sending him down to the mat. Lars Coverdale tries to get up, but Manhunter #1 just gives him an elbow to the back of the neck, then hits a vertical suplex on him. Once again, Lars Coverdale gets up, and this time Manhunter #1 whips him into the ropes... Lars Coverdale comes off the ropes, ducks a clothesline by Manhunter #1, and jumps off the opposite middle rope to hit an Asai moonsault on Manhunter #1! He goes down, but Lars isn't going for the pin yet... he whips Manhunter #1 into the corner, then starts unleashing a series of European uppercuts on him. Manhunter #1 staggers out of the corner, and Lars Coverdale grabs him in a headlock and runs with him... bulldog!! Manhunter #1 is down, and Lars makes the tag to Marty Jannetty.
Marty Jannetty climbs to the top rope as Lars Coverdale sets Manhunter #1 up for a piledriver... the only problem being that Manhunter #1 blocks the piledriver, then backdrops out of it! Lars goes for a sunset flip, but Manhunter #1's not going down... but now Marty comes flying off the top rope with a flying cross bodypress, sending him down in the sunset flip after all! Lars Coverdale untangles himself from the mess and rolls out of the ring, as Jerry Rogers makes the count! ... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout just after two by Manhunter #1.
Manhunter #1 is getting back up, but Marty Jannetty's waiting on him, and takes him down with a dropkick! He gets up again, and Marty nails him with another dropkick! Manhunter #1 rolls out of the ring, then kicks the guardrail and slams his fists on the apron in frustration... but he's not paying attention to the ring, and Marty Jannetty's running towards him... he jumps out onto him with a tope!! Manhunter #1 crashes into the guardrail, and both men are down! But now Manhunter #2 comes over, and he sends Marty Jannetty head-first into the ringsteps. Manhunter #2 is helping his partner to his feet... but neither of them notice as Lars Coverdale climbs to the top turnbuckle... and he jumps out onto both of them with a flying cross bodypress! Lars Coverdale just wiped out both of the Manhunters, and now he's helping Marty back into the ring, and rolling Manhunter #1 in after him!
Marty Jannetty gets up and tags Lars, then whips Manhunter #1 into the ropes as Lars Coverdale goes up to the top turnbuckle. Marty Jannetty brings Manhunter #1 down with a drop-toe hold, and Lars Coverdale immediately comes off the top turnbuckle to follow up with a flying legdrop to the back of the head! Both Heavy Metal Express members hook Manhunter #1... and they bring him up, then down, in a double vertical suplex! Lars Coverdale goes for the cover, and Jerry Rogers is counting... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... TH... Kickout at two and three-quarters by Manhunter #1!
Lars Coverdale's going to the top rope now... Manhunter #1's getting up, slowly... and he turns around into a flying cross bodypress from Lars Coverdale... and catches him!! Manhunter #1 just caught Lars Coverdale out of mid-air and drilled him with a powerslam! But he can't hold on to make the cover... he rolls off and begins pulling himself to his corner. Lars Coverdale does likewise, and here come Manhunter #2 and Marty Jannetty. Marty blocks a punch, then gives Manhunter #2 a couple swift kicks to the gut... Marty Jannetty goes for a Frankensteiner, but Manhunter #2 muscles him up, then power bombs him!
Marty is down, and Manhunter #2 picks him up... then inexplicably begins hitting him with a series of ridiculous-looking Mongolian chops. Marty Jannetty staggers back, actually selling the chops, then Manhunter #2 grabs him by the hair, and takes him down with a big headbutt! Marty slowly pulls himself to his feet again, but now Manhunter #2 throws him into a corner, and here come some more credible-looking chops, the kind that ring out with an audible "WHACK!", turn the victim's chest red, and make the audience go "Whoooo!". Marty Jannetty recoils in pain after taking a few of those chops, and now Manhunter #2 picks him up out of the corner, and takes him down with a backbreaker! Marty Jannetty is laying on the mat in a world of pain, and now Manhunter #2 stops the offense and climbs to the second turnbuckle, giving the crowd a few X-shaped crotch chops, and getting a loud response of boos in return.
Marty Jannetty begins getting back to his feet, slowly, but Manhunter #2 finishes the climb to the top turnbuckle, then comes off the top to nail him with a flying axhandle smash that sends him crashing back to the mat. Manhunter #2 pauses to admire his handiwork for a second, then tags in Manhunter #1, who continues to bring pain to Marty Jannetty with an elbowdrop. But instead of going for the pin, he just rolls over and straddles Marty, then flails away at his face with a series of punches until Jerry Rogers begins admonishing him. It's beginning to look like the Manhunters are less concerned with winning the match than they are with punishing the Heavy Metal Express.
Marty Jannetty begins weakly trying to pull himself to his feet again, but now Manhunter #1 grabs him around the waist, and hits an inverted atomic drop... but instead of letting go, he just shifts his grip on the waistlock, then brings Marty down with a belly-to-belly suplex. Again, there is no pin attempt, only a satisfied glance down at Marty's body. Marty's still trying to get up, and Manhunter #1 is patiently waiting on him... Marty gets up, but takes a kick to the midsection, followed by a brain buster! He's down again, and now Manhunter #1 drags him to the corner and tags in Manhunter #2.
Manhunter #2 picks Marty Jannetty up by the hair, then gives him an eye gouge just to be mean, before grabbing his arm and pulling him into a short clothesline. Marty goes down, and Manhunter #2 gives him a few casual stomps to the back, still with no attempt at a pin. After watching Marty writhe in pain on the mat for a second, Manhunter #2 stands over him, then sits down and hooks the chin... he's applying the camel clutch! And after the beating that Marty Jannetty has been taking, it doesn't look like he can escape the hold!! Jerry Rogers is checking in with Marty, trying to see if he's still in it... wait, Lars Coverdale just entered the ring... and he nailed Manhunter #2 with the Sweet Chin Music! He falls backwards, off of Marty Jannetty, and both men are down in the ring now!
Manhunter #2 crawls over and tags in Manhunter #1, but Jerry Rogers is too busy admonishing Lars Coverdale to allow him to go back to his corner, where Marty Jannetty is trying to make the tag! Manhunter #1 walks over and grabs Marty by the ankles, then drags him back to the center of the ring as Jerry Rogers sends a frustrated Lars Coverdale back to his corner. Manhunter #1 picks Marty Jannetty up, and gives him a gutbuster. Marty's down in a heap on the mat, but Manhunter #1 still isn't going for the cover! He stomps away at Marty's fallen body a few more times, then pulls him up... and knocks him right back down again with a massive headbutt! Marty crumples to the mat, but Manhunter #1's picking him right back up... chokeslam!!
Manhunter #1 just chokeslammed Marty Jannetty in the middle of the ring, and he's STILL not going for the cover! He looks down at Marty, then looks back to his corner... he tags in Manhunter #2! Now they're both going up to one of the opposite turnbuckles... they're going for the Double Diving Headbutt! But they're taking their time going up... now they're both giving a few X-shaped crotch chops down at Marty's body, wasting a lot of time... they come off the top for the Double Diving Headbutt, and it misses!! Marty Jannetty just rolled out of the way! The Manhunters are both down, and Marty Jannetty is crawling to the corner... the crowd's solidly behind him, but he's having a tough time making it... but he makes it! He just tagged in Lars Coverdale!
Lars Coverdale enters the ring, and he's on fire! Manhunter #1 gets up... and gets the Sweet Chin Music! Manhunter #2 is up... and Lars takes him down with a dropkick! Lars Coverdale whips Manhunter #2 into the ropes... and he spears him!! Lars Coverdale just speared Manhunter #2! The crowd is cheering... but suddenly the boos begin, as the camera spots Virginia walking down the aisle to the ring! What could she be doing here!?
But back in the ring, Lars Coverdale goes up to the top turnbuckle, then comes off the top to nail Manhunter #2 with a flying dropkick as he stands up! Manhunter #2 goes down, and Marty Jannetty just slid a chair into the ring... what's this!? Lars Coverdale pulls Manhunter #2 to his feet, doubled over... and gives him the Rocker Dropper on the chair!! Manhunter #2 is down! But Manhunter #1 is back up... not for long, though, as Lars turns and nails him with the Sweet Chin Music!! Lars Coverdale goes for the cover on Manhunter #2... but Virginia's distracting Jerry Rogers! Lars Coverdale has this match won, but the VCW Commissioner, Virginia, is distracting Jerry Rogers!
Marty Jannetty comes from behind Virginia, and nails her in the back with a forearm smash... but she absorbs it, then turns around and slugs Marty Jannetty in the stomach, then tosses him head-first into the ringsteps! Meanwhile, Lars Coverdale is standing up... he climbs to the top turnbuckle, and comes off to nail Virginia with a flying cross bodypress to the outside of the ring! But Virginia caught him... and she rams him back-first into the ringpost!! Now she's rolling him back into the ring... I can't believe Jerry Rogers is letting this go on! Lars Coverdale stands up, but now Manhunter #2 is back up... he grabs him by the throat... chokeslam on the chair by Manhunter #2!! He goes for the cover, and Jerry Rogers is counting... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... damn it, THREE!! The Heavy Metal Express just got screwed by our corrupt VCW Commissioner and Administration X!!
The
Manhunters defeated The Heavy Metal Express when Manhunter #2
pinned Coverdale after a choke slam in 0:14:45.
Rating: -**
Virginia waiting outside the ring to congratulate the Manhunters as they step out and head backstage with her, and the Heavy Metal Express is laid to waste at ringside. After that Rocker Dropper on the chair, it was a good bet that Lars Coverdale had that match won... but thanks to Virginia's interference, and the corrupt incompetence of Jerry Rogers, the Manhunters have stolen the victory tonight. And now the Heavy Metal Express is heading backstage in defeat, but through little or no fault of their own. They were screwed tonight, plain and simple.
"Star Cycle" by Jeff Beck begins playing, and the crowd begins booing again as Christina Ellis comes to the ring, dressed to wrestle and carrying a pair of scissors and an electric razor. She enters the ring and grabs a microphone, staring around at the booing crowd with disgust for a second before speaking.
C. Ellis: Tonight, you're going to see something that VCW doesn't like to show you... you're going to see two women who know how to wrestle showing off their skills. But even though Jessica knows how to string a few moves together, tonight I'm going to prove that I'm the better wrestler. And as far as her disgusting promise to shave my pubic hair... well, that's probably not gonna happen, but I'll promise one thing in return. After I beat her in the middle of this ring, if she doesn't sit still for her haircut, I can't promise that I won't accidentally "slip" with the scissors. So get out here, and enjoy your last night as a sex symbol, because these people won't think you're so sexy after I shave your head.
The crowd's booing, and the usual "YOU'RE A BITCH" chant is starting for Christina Ellis. She doesn't like that... her face twists slightly with disgust before she raises the microphone to speak.
C. Ellis: I may be a bitch, but after this match, I'll be still be a bitch with long, beautiful blond hair, unlike that slut Jessica Judd.
The crowd boos again... but now "Girls With Guitars" by Wynonna Judd is playing over the arena sound system, and here comes Jessica Judd, and now the crowd begins to cheer! She has her own electric razor and scissors, and she slides into the ring... both Christina and Jessica are raising their scissors threateningly, and this could get ugly in a hurry! Referee James Applebee intervenes, and at his request both women leave the foreign objects on the apron. James Applebee calls for the bell, and we've got a match!
Hair vs. Hair Match:
Christina Ellis
vs.
Jessica Judd
Here we go! They lock up, and Christina Ellis goes for a headlock, but Jessica picks her up, preparing for a belly-to-back suplex... but Christina Ellis flips out behind her! Jessica Judd turns around, and Christina goes for a kick to the midsection, but Jessica catches her foot, and takes her down with a dragon screw into a half Boston! Jessica Judd wrenches back on the leg, demanding that James Applebee ask Christina for a submission... but Christina's not ready to quit yet... she's crawling towards the ropes... and she made it there. Jessica releases the hold at the count of four and steps back, as Christina Ellis turns wide eyes towards her in a surprised and hateful stare. Christina Ellis just got outwrestled, and she didn't like it one bit!
Christina moves forward and locks up with Jessica again, but Jessica whips her into the ropes, then catches her with a dropkick as she comes off the ropes! Christina Ellis goes down, and Jessica Judd runs at her and takes her down with a second dropkick when she gets back up! Jessica picks Christina up, and gives her an inverted atomic drop, then runs into the ropes again, and hits her with a third dropkick! Christina Ellis is down, and Jessica Judd grabs her right leg, and applies a kneebar! Christina Ellis is once again sent scrambling for the ropes, and she makes it... but once again, Jessica holds on until James Applebee counts to four.
They get back up and go for a lockup again, but Christina Ellis breaks it up with an eye gouge. With Jessica stunned, Christina Ellis picks her up and executes a backbreaker, then stands up and drops an elbow on her. She pauses briefly to flex her right leg, trying to work some of the pain out of it, then stomps away at Jessica Judd's lower back a few times. She picks Jessica Judd up and takes her over with a vertical suplex... but Christina's keeping Jessica hooked and rolling, getting back to her feet... and she hits a second vertical suplex! Christina rolls back to her feet again, and she picks her up for a third vertical suplex... no, make that a brain buster on Jessica Judd! Now she floats over for the cover, and James Applebee's counting... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout at two by Jessica Judd!
Christina Ellis begins climbing to the top turnbuckle... but she's taking too long, and Jessica Judd gets back to her feet! Jessica Judd catches her up on the top turnbuckle... Christina Ellis is shaking her head and begging Jessica not to throw her off, like a female Ric Flair... but of couse Jessica does it anyway. Christina gets up, but Jessica Judd's waiting on her, and she slaps her hard across the face! Christina Ellis staggers back, and Jessica nails her with a kick to the midsection, doubling her over, then brings her down with a Rocker Dropper. Christina begins to pull herself up, but Jessica grabs her and whips her into the ropes, then catches her as she comes off and drops her across the top rope throat-first! Christina Ellis flops down on the mat, clutching her throat, and Jessica Judd goes right down on top of her with a chokehold! James Applebee puts a count on her, and Jessica Judd breaks the choke JUST before the five count.
Jessica picks Christina up by the hair and takes her down with a snap mare, then drives an elbow into her and goes for the pin. James Applebee goes down to count... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout at two and a half by Christina Ellis! Jessica Judd pulls her up again, then puts her in a standing headscissors... piledriver!! Christina Ellis is down, and Jessica Judd bounces off the ropes, and drops a knee on her head! She's going for a cover again, and James Applebee's counting again... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout at two and three-quarters by Christina Ellis!
Jessica Judd's going up to the top turnbuckle, and she balls up a fist... she's measuring Christina Ellis, and she comes off the top with a flying fistdrop... but Christina Ellis rolls out of the way! Jessica Judd just punched the mat, and she's shaking out her fist... and Christina Ellis grabs her and brings her down with an armdrag takedown, then holds her hand on the mat and drops a knee on it! That's just mean. Christina hits Jessica Judd with a kick to the midsection, then puts on a standing headscissors and lifts her up... power bomb!! But Christina's not going for the pin... she's still holding the legs, and she's turning Jessica over for a Boston crab! Jessica's struggling, trying to make her way to the ropes... James Applebee's asking her if she wants to quit, but bearing in mind the consequences of a loss here, she's not going to give up easily... and she finally makes it to the ropes. Christina holds on for as long as possible before breaking the hold under threat of disqualification.
Christina picks Jessica up, and hits her with a backbreaker, then pauses for a second, smiling and basking in the boos of the fans for a second as Jessica Judd groggily gets back to her feet, favoring her back. As Jessica gets back up, Christina Ellis grabs her from behind, and takes her down in a belly-to-back suplex, then goes for the pin! James Applebee's in position... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout at two and a half by Jessica Judd. Now Christina's picking Jessica up across her shoulders... torture rack!! Christina Ellis has Jessica Judd in the torture rack! Jessica's squirming and screaming in pain, and James Applebee's checking in with her... Christina Ellis is putting on the pressure... and now she's setting Jessica down, evidently tired of shouldering Jessica's weight. Jessica's staggering, one hand on her back in agony, as Christina Ellis runs into the ropes behind her, then comes from behind to take her down with a bulldog! She goes for the pin... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout again at two and a half by Jessica Judd!
Christina goes up to the top rope, as Jessica gets up... Jessica turns around... and Christina Ellis comes off the top rope with a sunset flip!! But she's holding onto the legs and turning her over instead of going for the pin, putting her in a Boston crab! Jessica Judd is struggling, trying to reach the ropes... James Applebee's asking her if she gives up, but to do that would be to surrender her hair to Christina Ellis, and she doesn't want to do that if she can avoid it somehow... she's crawling, gaining ground slowly... and she finally makes the ropes. Christina Ellis holds on for as long as she legally can before breaking the hold, just like before.
Jessica Judd gets up slowly, and Christina Ellis doubles her over and hooks her arms... double underhook suplex! Now she's going for the cover, and James Applebee's counting... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Jessica's still down, and Christina's going outside to the ring apron, waiting for her to get up. Jessica Judd gets up, and turns to Christina Ellis... who leaps to the top rope, then jumps in with a springboard cross bodypress! But Jessica Judd just jumped up and caught her in the chest with a dropkick! Both Jessica and Christina are down in the ring... and Christina's getting up first, surprisingly. She's gasping for air and clutching her chest, trying to shake off the effects of the dropkick... but Jessica's up, and Christina lashes out with a savate kick... and hits James Applebee right in the side of the head when Jessica Judd ducks! James Applebee is down, and Christina Ellis turns to Jessica... and Jessica grabs her by the hair and drops to her knees, executing a jawbreaker!
Christina Ellis is down, and Jessica Judd's rolling out of the ring, looking under the apron... she's got a guitar! She reenters the ring, and Christina Ellis is getting to her feet... and Jessica Judd just bashed that guitar right into Christina's right knee!! Christina crumples to the mat in a cloud of sawdust and splinters, clutching her knee, and Jessica Judd picks her up from behind, and puts on the full nelson... and falls forward!! She just hit the Final Chord on Christina Ellis!! Now she grabs Christina Ellis by the leg... she's putting on the figure-four leglock! The crowd goes wild, and Christina Ellis is struggling pitifully, without much strength left... and she can't take it anymore! She's tapping out, but James Applebee isn't coherent to acknowledge it! Christina Ellis figures that out, and now she's flailing her arms around desperately... and she just found the guitar neck, laying on the mat to her side! She's got it in her hands... and she brings it down into Jessica Judd's abdomen repeatedly in a frenzy, trying desperately to escape the figure-four! Now she's jabbing the end of it right into her stomach, trying anything to force Jessica Judd to let go.
Jessica releases the hold after a few good shots and rolls over, clutching her stomack in pain after having the guitar neck jabbed into it a few times. She gets up and turns around... and Christina Ellis desperately reaches up and hammers her in the temple with the guitar neck! Jessica Judd goes down, and Christina Ellis is down too, clutching at her knee and trying to stand up. James Applebee gets to his feet, and so does Jessica Judd. Christina Ellis takes a swing at Jessica Judd, but Jessica Judd blocks it and floats behind for the full nelson... she's going for the Final Chord again! But before she can get it hooked, Christina Ellis flings her head back, headbutting her right in the nose! Jessica Judd lets go, clutching her nose, and now Christina Ellis goes behind and puts on a full nelson... DRAGON SUPLEX!! She just nailed it!! James Applebee's counting... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THR... Christina's leg just collapsed from under her, and she couldn't hold the bridge! Christina Ellis pulls herself to her feet, standing basically on one leg now... Jessica Judd's getting up too, and Christina Ellis grabs her from behind... BACKDROP DRIVER!! That had to do it! Jessica Judd just landed on her head, and Christina Ellis crawls across the mat to cover her... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!! Christina Ellis just won the match!
Hair
vs. Hair Match:
Christina Ellis pinned Jessica Judd after a backdrop driver in
0:13:57.
Rating: *** 1/4
The crowd's booing loudly, and the "YOU'RE A BITCH" chant remains strong, but there's a small portion cheering out of respect for the amazing legitimate ability and competitive spirit shown by Christina Ellis. Now she's crawling to the apron and grabbing the electric razor and scissors... and the boos get even louder as she begins shaving Jessica's head. Jessica Judd is still knocked out after the backdrop driver, and offers no resistance, so it's not long before she's left completely bald-headed. Christina Ellis smiles, holding up clumps of removed hair... and now she's turning back to Jessica Judd, and raising the scissors up over her head! Good God, she's won the match, she shaved her head... now what's she going to do, stab her to death!?
Evidently Christina Ellis reconsidered that one herself, because she drops the scissors. Now she pulls herself back to her feet, and she's helping Jessica Judd to her feet... it looks like she's saying something, and now she's extending her hand to Jessica Judd! Jessica Judd reaches up to feel her now-bald head... she looks like she's contemplating this gesture of sportsmanship... and she takes her hand! Jessica Judd and Christina Ellis are shaking hands after this match... but Jessica just hauled off and kicked her in the midsection! Now she floats around behind her, and gives her the Final Chord!! The crowd gives a mixed response of mostly cheers as Jessica Judd picks her up, then does it again! Now she's got her leg again, and she's applying the figure-four leglock again! This is taking things a little too far, and the fact that the crowd reaction's about half and half illustrates that.
But wait... Jennie's coming out of the backstage area now! She climbs into the ring, and she's saying something to Jessica Judd... evidently, telling her to release the hold and leave Christina alone, because that's what Jessica does. She puts an arm around Jennie and begins saying something to her... then slips her other arm in, hooks Jennie's arms, and drops her with the Final Chord too!! Now she's putting the figure-four leglock on Jennie, and the crowd is definitely against this... she's going way too far here! But now the H.A.R.P. Squad's finally on the scene, and they're pulling Jessica Judd off of Jennie... but what condition does this leave the VCW T & A Champion in to defend her title against Jasmina Chastity a few moments later? Trainers are out to help Jennie and Christina Ellis to the back, and the crowd's not sure what to think of all of this.
"Calling Dr. Love" by KISS begins playing after Jennie and Christina are helped away, and the crowd knows exactly what they think of THIS, greeting the appearance of "Doctor" Dave Adams and Main Street Pete with a chorus of boos. As usual, they're accompanied by Nurse Vivacia. They still look pretty cocky and confident, and from their demeanor you wouldn't even know that they're about to face Stiff Competition, who are ready to kill them after their repeated antagonistic behavior. They're in the ring, looking like they expect an easy match tonight... perhaps they have some sort of trick up their sleeve, but otherwise, they probably won't be smiling for much longer.
In fact, they don't look so sure of themselves anymore as "War Machine" by KISS begins playing, bringing forth Stiff Competition. Bass Rogers and Dean Sanders are quickly walking to the ring with purpose, and without hesitation they slide into the ring... but Main Street Pete and Dave Adams are waiting on them, and begin stomping away at them as they enter the ring! They just threw Dean Sanders back out of the ring, and now they're picking Bass Rogers up to double-team him! New VCW referee Bobcat McGavin makes his officiating debut, climbing into the ring and calling for the bell to begin the match!
"Doctor" Dave
Adams & Main Street Pete
w/Nurse Vivacia
vs.
Stiff Competition
Dave Adams and Main Street Pete whip Bass Rogers into the ropes, and they nail him with a double kick to the midsection, which they follow with a double DDT!! Bass Rogers is down, and Dave Adams picks him up again, and puts him in a standing headscissors... with help from Main Street Pete, he picks him up for a piledriver... now Main Street Pete grabs his legs... SPIKE PILEDRIVER!! Dean Sanders is up outside of the ring, and Nurse Vivacia just gave him a low blow!! Bobcat McGavin doesn't notice it, because he's going down to count as Dave Adams covers Bass Rogers!! ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!?!? What in the hell just happened here!?
Dave
Adams and Main Street Pete defeated Stiff Competition when Doctor
Dave pinned B. Rogers after a spike piledriver in 0:00:26.
Rating: DUD
In terms of luck in wrestling, Dave Adams and Main Street Pete just hit the jackpot! This has to be the biggest upset of their career!! They just beat Bass Rogers in under thirty seconds!! Now they're rolling out of the ring and retreating up the aisle with Nurse Vivacia, fleeing with their victory like a bunch of thieves... and Bass Rogers is starting to get back up in the ring. He looks absolutely FURIOUS... he's climbing out of the ring, and he's got a chair!! What the hell is he doing with that chair! Bobcat McGavin slides out of the ring and begins running for his life, and who can blame him? Bass Rogers is going nuts, smashing the turnbuckles with the chair, then throwing it out of the ring. He's grabbing a microphone now... he's breathing so hard he can hardly speak!
B. Rogers: Adams!! Pete!! Get back in this damn ring right now and let me kick your asses, or I'm coming backstage, and I'm gonna kick them even worse!!
Bass Rogers is snarling like an animal, pacing in the ring, but no reply comes from Dave Adams and Main Street Pete... if they're smart, they're hopping in a taxi, on their way to the airport!
B. Rogers: I'm gonna kill you, punks!! You hear me!? You listening!? I'm gonna beat your ass!
There's still no response... Bass Rogers is turning bright red, sweating profusely, and snarling hideously... foam is forming at his mouth, and running down onto his beard. Dean Sanders enters the ring, and takes the microphone away from him.
D. Sanders: Get a hold of yourself, man! We both know they're a pair of panty-waisted scoundrels, and we'll give them quite the thrashing when we get our hands on them next. But stop acting like a damned barbarian, for God's sake!
Bass Rogers is staring at Dean Sanders, who may have made a big mistake lecturing him at this particular time... and he did, because Bass Rogers just hauled off and punched him in the face HARD! Dean Sanders goes down with a large, bloody welt forming on the side of his face, but he's getting back up! Bass Rogers tries to punch him again, but Dean Sanders grabs his arm and pulls him down into an armbar hold... he's really leaning into it and stretching him out, and Bass Rogers cries out in pain! He lets go and rolls off, then begins nailing Bass Rogers with some UGLY punches and kicks to the face and head as he gets up. Bass Rogers manages to absorb it and gets up, then hauls off and nails Dean Sanders with another vicious blow to the face! Dean Sanders goes down again, and Bass Rogers tries to get on top of him, but Dean Sanders grabs a leg and takes him down by it, then climbs on Bass Rogers and unloads on him with a series of brutal punches!
Bass Rogers finally throws him off, then gets to his feet... both men are staring at each other now. Dean Sanders has a large, bleeding lump on the side of his head, and the beginnings of a nasty bruise near the eye, and Bass Rogers's face is red and swollen, even more than it was when he was shouting... and they're smiling at each other! Bass Rogers and Dean Sanders exchange a hug in the middle of the ring, then begin heading backstage as the crowd cheers. These two just gave each other one hell of a legit beating, and now they're leaving the ring together, smiling! But you have to believe their smiles will be even bigger when they catch up to Dave Adams and Main Street Pete, who are probably long gone by now.
The Bikini Oil Wrestling Match for the VCW T & A Title is scheduled to be next, and unfortunately that rather brief encounter didn't leave Jennie much time to prepare or recover from the attack by her now former friend, Jessica Judd. "Return To Innocence" by Enigma begins playing first, and here comes Jasmina Chastity, looking rather reluctant to come forth in her dark green bikini, which reveals a lot of glistening, oiled, well-tanned skin. There are a number of whistles and catcalls from the crowd in addition to the boos as she comes to the ring.
Now "Until It Sleeps" by Metallica begins playing over the arena sound system, bringing out Jennie to a deafening explosion of cheers. The crowd reaction is based in no small part on her choice of ring attire, which consists of three strategically placed pieces of white cloth that are just barely big enough to conceal the areas they cover, and which are held in place by strings no thicker than the average piece of yarn. From behind, she might as well not be wearing a bikini... from the front, she's still showing as much as she can without being indecent. But she's not doing her usual energetic run to the ring... she's limping badly, no doubt still feeling the effects of Jessica Judd's figure-four, and carrying the VCW T & A Title on one hand. She hands the title to the timekeeper, then with great difficulty climbs into the ring, as lucky bastard referee Jerry Rogers enters the ring to officiate this match.
Bikini Oil Wrestling Match:
For the VCW T & A Title:
Jennie (c)
vs.
Jasmina Chastity
As Jennie hobbles into the ring, Jasmina Chastity rushes her and clips her knee! The crowd boos loudly, and Jennie goes down, clutching her knee. Jasmina Chastity drags her into the middle of the ring by her leg... and applies a KNEEBAR!? Christina Ellis really has been teaching her a few new tricks! Jennie screams in pain, and begins thrashing around, trying to crawl to the ropes... but the oil on their bodies prevents Jasmina from getting a good grip on her, and Jennie is able to squirm free. They both get up, and Jasmina locks up with Jennie... and Jennie puts on a side headlock! But now Jasmina's lifting her up, going for a belly-to-back suplex... but Jennie flips over behind... and lands right on the leg with the injured knee. Jennie crumples to the mat, clutching her leg, and Jasmina Chastity's going for a figure-four leglock! But Jennie's legs are still too slippery, and she manages to kick Jasmina away... and now she's pulling herself up, with pain etched across her face. Jasmina tries to slap her, but Jennie blocks it, and punches her in the side of the head in return!
Jasmina Chastity goes down, and Jennie's trying to shut out the pain in her leg... she hobbles forward, leaps with her good leg, and hits a rather weak jumping clothesline. Jasmina Chastity goes down, and Jennie gets back up, then grabs her by the hair and takes her over with a snap mare! Jasmina Chastity begins to get up again, but Jennie grabs her in a front facelock, then drops down for a DDT!! Jennie hit a DDT on Jasmina Chastity, and she's floating over for the cover. Jerry Rogers is counting... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... But Jasmina Chastity kicks out at two and a half.
Jennie's getting up slowly, as is Jasmina... Jennie grabs her hair, going for the Carpet Muncher, but Jasmina quickly reaches down and sweeps her good leg, sending her down to the mat! Jennie's getting back up... and Jasmina Chastity just gouged her eyes! Jennie doubles over, clutching her face in pain... and now Jasmina's grabbing her head and turning her around... it's the Spiritual Awakening, the worst-looking neckbreaker in the business... but that takes a seat of secondary importance right now, because one of Jasmina's breasts just popped out of the bikini top due to the impact!! The crowd explodes into cheers, but Jasmina just pulls the bikini top back on correctly, getting a huge round of boos from the crowd, then goes for the pin! Jerry Rogers is down to count... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... TH... Shoulder up by Jennie at two and three-quarters!! Somehow, she's still in this match!
Jasmina gets up, then grabs Jennie's leg and drops an elbow into it, causing her to scream in pain! She does it again, then gets up and hauls her towards the center of the ring by the leg... now she's stepping around, and putting on the figure-four!! Jasmina Chastity has a (so God-awful looking that even David Flair would shake his head in sorrow) figure-four leglock on Jennie in the center of the ring! Jennie's struggling, trying to make it to the ropes... but she just can't make any progress. Now she's trying to turn the hold over and reverse it, but Jasmina's larger than she is... and twenty pounds or so can make a lot of difference when both combatants are well under one hundred and fifty pounds. She's trying to turn the hold over, but she's just not getting there very fast... and she taps out!! Jennie has just submitted in the figure-four leglock!
Bikini
Oil Wrestling Match:
Jasmina Chastity made Jennie submit to a figure-four leglock in
0:03:10.
Rating: -**
The crowd's booing loudly, and a chant of "SLUT!" rises up from the crowd as Jasmina Chastity rises from the mat and claims the VCW T & A Title, raising it high above her head in victory. But she doesn't have anything to be proud of... if it wasn't for Jessica Judd's earlier attack, she wouldn't even be holding that title right now! And now she's grabbing a microphone...
J. Chastity: How many people want to see me strip this bitch naked like the slut that she is!?
Of course the crowd wants to see gratuitous nudity, and they begin cheering loudly, except for a moderate-sized minority that's supportive of Jennie. After all, she's been through a lot tonight, and doesn't need this...
J. Chastity: Well, it's not gonna happen tonight, so kiss my ass!!
The crowd boos loudly, but they should have seen that coming... but they do see Jessica Judd coming down the aisle! Hasn't she done enough!? Or is she sorry for what she did to Jennie earlier, and here to support her and apologize!? She enters the ring, and snatches the microphone away from Jasmina.
J. Judd: First of all, Jasmina, let me tell you something. I might have done some stupid things recently, but I'm not just gonna sit on my ass backstage and let you hurt and humiliate Jennie.
The crowd gives a mixed response, still not knowing quite what to think of Jessica Judd. Jasmina's backing off, wanting no part of a fight with Jessica at all! Jennie's looking up at Jessica, still holding her knee and grimacing in pain on the mat, not sure of what to think.
J. Judd: No. In fact, let me tell you a little something else, darlin'... after that skinny little bitch killed my career, then put me in a situation where I had to get my head shaved just because I was trying to back her up... I'm gonna come out here and HELP you hurt and humiliate that fucking little tramp!!
The crowd boos loudly, and Jessica just turned and kicked Jennie in the head! Now she's picking her up from behind... and she hits the Final Chord on her!! Now she's grabbing her leg... no, damn it, this has been too much already! But Jessica Judd's putting the figure-four leglock on her again! Jennie's screaming in pain, and trying to squirm away... but now Jasmina Chastity's sitting down on her and pummelling her with repeated punches and slaps to the face! The crowd boos loudly... and a mixed reaction is added when Christina Ellis hobbles out of the backstage area, carrying a chair. What's she here for!? She has deep-rooted issues with both Jennie and Jessica Judd, and she's allied with Jasmina Chastity... so whose side is she on!?
Christina enters the ring with some difficulty... and Jasmina's going over to her, saying something, perhaps trying to explain what's going on... but Christina Ellis just nailed her with the chair!! The crowd cheers, and Jessica Judd releases the figure-four, trying to get back to her feet... but she doesn't get up quick enough, because Christina Ellis just hit her with the chair too!! Jessica Judd and Jasmina Chastity roll out of the ring, as Christina Ellis stands guard over Jennie's body... and surprisingly, a good portion of the crowd is actually CHEERING for Christina!
Jessica and Jasmina retreat backstage, as a trainer comes out to help Jennie, who may be seriously injured here. Christina continues to stand guard over her... and this is just bizarre. Jessica Judd turns against Jennie, and then Christina Ellis comes out to help her!? Going into this event, this is the last thing we could have expected!
After Jennie is taken away, and Christina Ellis leaves the ring, "Gor-Gor" by GWAR begins playing over the arena sound system, and here come Big Trouble, the team of Ron Reese and Jorge Gonzalez. Stormy Weathers is mysteriously absent, and the two big men enter the ring alone, with no mention of their missing manager.
Now "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins playing, and the crowd bursts into cheers as Devaccio Pola, Salvaje Demonio, and Melissa DelArmeggio come out of the backstage area. Evidently, this'll be three-on-two, because there's no sign of Stormy Weathers. He had previously said that he'd only participate in this match if Melissa would agree to sleep with him if he pinned her... now either she's declined that stipulation, or Stormy's chickened out entirely. But Melissa's grabbing a microphone now... maybe we'll come to understand more of the situation in a moment as she speaks.
M. DelArmeggio: Stormy, where are you!? The number-one reason I wanted to be in this match was to get my hands on you one more time... and now you're not even gonna show up!? I'll take your stipulation... I'll take any stipulation you want to put on the table... but I want just a few seconds in the ring with you. Get out here, NOW.
"Call It Stormy Monday" by the Allman Brothers Band begins playing, and Stormy Weathers swaggers out of the backstage area, wearing white slacks and a red Hawaiian shirt with the top three buttons left undone. He's holding a microphone and smiling.
S. Weathers: If you'd learn to hold your britches for a second, girl, you'd know that ol' Stormy was just waiting to make a grand entrance, for all these people out here tonight! How y'all doing tonight, folks!?
The crowd gives him a loud chorus of boos, and a chant of "STORMY SUCKS" begins among the fans. Stormy looks around at them irately.
S. Weathers: Well, then ol' Stormy couldn't give a hill of beans about none of y'all, neither!! Y'all can kiss ol' Stormy's ass!! But anyway, girl, you've gotta agree to my stipulations. You remember... I pin you, you've gotta get with me for a little Southern hospitality later on tonight.
M. DelArmeggio: Whatever. Because that won't happen. The first time you enter the ring with me is the last mistake you'll ever be able to make.
S. Weathers: Blow it out your ass, woman! You're gonna wish you were losing to Moy Lazzario in the undercards again by the time me and my boys get done with y'all! Somebody better call an ambulance, because ol' Stormy's gonna kill somebody!!
Stormy Weathers is charging the ring now, and Big Trouble just clobbered Salvaje Demonio and Devaccio Pola from behind!! We've got a match breaking out in the ring, and Stormy just stopped short, wanting no part of Melissa! Referee Linda Peterson is in the ring, trying to bring about some order... and finally, everyone but Devaccio Pola and Jorge Gonzalez is sent to the apron! This match is on!
Stormy Weathers & Big Trouble
vs.
Salvaje Demonio, Melissa DelArmeggio, & Devaccio Pola
Devaccio Pola's starting out the match, laying in some vicious kicks to Jorge Gonzalez, as he's done before with limited success. Jorge Gonzalez is absorbing the kicks, though the grimace of pain on his face shows that he's not enjoying it at all... and he lashes out, pawing Devaccio Pola across the face like a bear and sending him sprawling to the mat! Devaccio Pola gets up... and gets a massive forearm right on top of the head that sends him back down! Jorge bounces off the ropes slowly, and drops a massive elbow on Devaccio Pola's back. Things are already looking bad for Devaccio Pola, and it's not even a minute in to the match!
Jorge Gonzalez throws Devaccio Pola into a corner, and starts unloading on him with massive clubbing blows, then tags in Ron Reese. Reese backs up, and charges in with an avalanche... but Devaccio Pola moves out of the way, and Reese crashes into the turnbuckle! Now Devaccio Pola is mounting a different set of turnbuckles as Rob Reese staggers out... and he catches him with a flying dropkick! Ron Reese goes down, and Devaccio Pola crawls on top of him and begins hammering him in the face repeatedly!
Devaccio Pola tags in Salvaje Demonio, and together they pull Ron Reese up and whip him into the ropes, then nail him with a double dropkick when he comes off. Ron Reese is down, and Salvaje Demonio nails him with a kneedrop to the head, then covers him! Linda Peterson's counting... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Big kickout at two by Ron Reese! The big man still has a lot left! Salvaje Demonio scampers to the top rope as Ron Reese gets to his feet, and now he's coming off the top... flying cross bodypress, and Ron Reese goes down under him! Linda Peterson counts again... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And again, Ron Reese kicks out at two!!
Salvaje Demonio tags in Melissa DelArmeggio now, and together they whip Ron Reese into the ropes... now Salvaje Demonio gets on his hands and knees, and Melissa runs off the ropes on the other side, then springboards off of his back... to jump up and nail Ron Reese with a spin kick right to the head!! Ron Reese just took a stiff shot of bootlaces right between the eyes, and he collapses to the mat again! Melissa goes up to the top turnbuckle... FROG SPLASH!! This could be it! Linda Peterson's down to count... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And Ron Reese almost effortlessly heaves her off at two! Melissa flies up in the air a good two and a half feet, and Ron Reese is starting to get up... but Melissa's nailing him with repeated kicks to the head! Somehow, though, he's absorbing them and pulling himself up... he tries to grab Melissa, but she slides under his legs, then catches him from behind and rolls him up! Linda Peterson's down to count... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Ron Reese with a powerful kickout at two and a half, launching Melissa shoulder-first into the turnbuckle! She starts to step out, as Ron Reese gets up... and he blasts her right in the face with a massive forearm! Melissa goes down, and Ron Reese tags in Jorge Gonzalez!
Jorge Gonzalez enters the ring, and nails Melissa in the back as she tries to stand... now he's lifting her up, over his head! We've seen this before... he's looking to pitch her out into the crowd! He steps up to the second turnbuckle... Melissa's at least ten feet from the mat right now... and Jorge Gonzalez just pitched her out of the ring and... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, Melissa just landed throat-first on the guardrail!! She collapses in the ring area, convulsing and spitting up blood... and Stormy Weathers quickly grabs her and rolls her back into the ring! Is he that concerned about winning the match!? What does he want to do, screw her corpse when she's pronounced dead!?
Jorge Gonzalez goes for the pin, and this one is OVER. Linda Peterson's making the academic count... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... But Stormy Weathers yelled for Jorge to get up, and he did! He got up at two, and now Stormy's asking for the tag! If Linda Peterson had any semblance of a brain in her head, she'd be stopping this match right now... instead, Melissa's going to spend her dying breaths getting pinned by Stormy Weathers! He gets the tag and enters the ring, and he's going for the cover... this is just a bunch of pathetic bullshit... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THRE... WHAT!? How did Melissa get a shoulder up!? She obviously is barely able to breathe or move at all... how did she manage to roll up a shoulder!? But now Stormy's standing up, and... no, damn it!! The sick bastard's putting a boot on her throat and stepping down on it! Devaccio Pola and Salvaje Demonio are entering the ring... they've seen enough... but Jorge Gonzalez and Ron Reese come in as well, cutting them off!
Jorge Gonzalez and Ron Reese each manhandle one of their smaller opponents and shove them into a corner, where they begin working them over with forearm smashes, elbows, and kneelifts. Stormy finally breaks the boot choke after a threat of disqualification from Linda Peterson... but now he's picking her up, and he drops her throat-first across the top rope with a Hotshot! Meanwhile, Jorge Gonzalez charges in after Devaccio Pola in the corner with an avalanche, but Devaccio Pola moves out of the way! Jorge Gonzalez staggers back, and Devaccio Pola pushes him back against the ropes... then nails him with a dropkick to the chest that sends him falling back over the top rope! Jorge Gonzalez gets up on the outside of the ring... and Devaccio Pola jumps out onto him with a corkscrew plancha, shades of Hector Garza!! Ron Reese's beating of Salvaje Demonio is likewise interrupted when he takes a kick to the groin. He doubles over and begins to stagger away... but Salvaje Demonio puts a headlock on him, and takes him down with a bulldog!!
Stormy Weathers has Melissa down on the other side of the ring, and he's going up to the top rope... he's trying for a flying bodypress... but Melissa just rolled out of the way somehow! Stormy wipes out on the mat, and they're both down... but Melissa's getting up somehow!! Stormy gets up just a split second behind her, and turns to her in disbelief... and Melissa spits a combination of mucus and blood right in his face! Stormy Weathers puts his hands to his face to wipe it off... and takes a kick to the midsection! Stormy doubles over, and Melissa's pivoting and bringing the other foot around... BACK BRAIN KICK!! Stormy Weathers collapses on the mat... but so does Melissa. She may have literally used her last breaths to take down Stormy... but Salvaje Demonio's heading up to the top turnbuckle, and now he comes off to hit Stormy with the Swandive Headbutt!! Ron Reese is getting back up, but Salvaje Demonio kicks him in the midsection, then drops him with a DDT... now he's going up top, and Ron Reese gets the Swandive Headbutt as well! And outside the ring, Devaccio Pola just floored Jorge Gonzalez with a vicious series of chairshots, and now he's entering the ring!
Devaccio Pola heads over to Stormy's prone body... and he's putting on the scorpion deathlock!! Stormy squirms pitifully for a couple seconds, then begins immediately trying to tap out... but Linda Peterson recognizes that Devaccio Pola isn't the legal man, and now she's calling for a break in the hold! Devaccio Pola breaks the hold and turns Stormy over on his back, and he's headed back to his corner. Jorge Gonzalez is laid out on the outside of the ring! Ron Reese is still down on the inside! But now Melissa's moving again... she crawls across Stormy's motionless body, and Linda Peterson goes down to count the pin! ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!!
Devaccio
Pola, Melissa DelArmeggio, and Salvaje Demonio defeated Big
Trouble and Stormy Weathers when Melissa defeated Stormy via
pinfall in 0:08:02.
Rating: -*
Melissa's standing up... she's visibly gasping for air, still suffering the effects of that bump... but her goal has been accomplished. Stormy Weathers is stretched out flat on his back, and all that's left for him is to be pulled out and carried backstage by Jorge Gonzalez, as he and his partner head backstage. A few of the VCW trainers come out to check on Melissa, but she's walking backstage on her own. Somehow, she seems to have escaped serious injury. Devaccio Pola and Salvaje Demonio are also on their way backstage, and they also have a lot to celebrate; though Melissa may have gotten the pin over Stormy, they finally defeated the giants, allowing her to defeat Stormy in the ring.
Coming up next, Robert Danson and the Wrecking Crew will take on Jack Norman, Butch Manson, and Dick Douglas of Hell's Bikers. But in the meantime, why not take a break? Rest your eyes, clear your head, and prepare for more of the show. Part Two will be here when you get back.