This Tuesday in Toronto

Welcome, everyone, to a special VCW event, This Tuesday in Toronto, being held right here in the Skydome! We've got an amazing show for you tonight. The Ontario Color Show will face Stiff Competition in a two-out-of-three falls match in an attempt to cement their status as the top contenders for the VCW World Tag Team Titles. Ken Collins and Lorenzo Vasquez, both fairly fresh from unsuccessful attempts to capture the VCW Television Title, face each other tonight for one more opportunity to get back in the VCW Television Title scene with a two-out-of-three falls match for the title at tomorrow night's tapings. But tonight, that title will be defended when Jiro Tobikuma faces Salvaje Demonio in what should be a fine match. On top of all that, our new VCW World Champion, Crimson, is here, and... and here he comes now!!

"Walk" by Pantera just kicked on over the arena sound system, and Crimson steps out of the backstage area, with the VCW World Title slung over his shoulder! Hell's Bikers are walking out with him, and so's Randy Savage, along with Tony Garcia, Lorenzo Vasquez, and Rebecca Black! Crimson's accompanied by a regular entourage as he comes to the ring... and now he's climbing up on the apron, and stepping in over the top rope, and everyone else follows him in. He raises the title over his head and holds it up high for the crowd to see, getting a loud chorus of boos, then puts it back over his shoulder and grabs a microphone from someone at ringside. He glares around at the booing crowd for a minute, not appreciating the reaction.

Crimson: Listen, you pathetic Canadian moose fuckers, I'm the VCW World Champion now. Playtime's over, so y'all can sit down and shut up.

The crowd keeps booing loudly, and they start a "WE WANT TROY!" chant. Crimson looks especially ticked off by that.

Crimson: Well, you ain't gonna get what you want, because he couldn't make it here tonight! I kicked his ass so bad he couldn't even drag it out of the hospital! You want Troy Black back in this ring!? The next time he steps in here with me, he ain't going to the hospital, he's going to the cemetary!!

The crowd's boos only get louder, and the chant continues, slowly fading as Crimson stops and waits for it to go down. With the crowd quieted somewhat, he begins speaking again.

Crimson: First off... last Saturday, I went ahead and gave VCW a big Christmas present... the right to have a World Champion who isn't a scrawny little pale-skinned Goth fudgepacker. I went in there, I took everything that Troy had, and I beat his ass. And right now, that's why I've got this title, and he doesn't. Y'all don't have any choice but to admit that I'm the baddest motherfucker in this damn company, because I've got the belt to prove it.

The crowd's booing loudly. That's not entirely true... after three Black Daggers, Crimson had to be down for the count before Strahd interfered! Troy Black, in all likelihood, had that match won! Crimson paces a little, then raises the microphone again.

Crimson: David Wright Hubbard... you're my challenger at Wrestlewar now, huh? Well, that works out just fine for me. Because last Saturday, you could barely handle Lance Errington. Lance FUCKING Errington. What the hell was that!? I guarantee you, you put me in a ring with Lance Errington, and I'll have the son of a bitch squashed like a bug in under five minutes. Maybe it had a little something to do with the fact that I slipped him a wrench after he threw your ugly-ass wife off the ramp...

It was Crimson!! Crimson was the one who handed Lance Errington the wrench that he used to nearly take David Wright Hubbard out and win the match! Crimson's animosity for David Wright Hubbard is well-established, but who would have thought that he was this dedicated to seeing harm come his way?

Crimson: See, I didn't give a damn about none of the issues that happened in that match. I don't care if Lance was pissed off because Erica got her little face cut up, or that you were pissed off because your nasty old bat of a wife nearly got killed... as far as I'm concerned, women ain't got no place in the life of a man like me except bent over my bed getting fucked every night. But what I did care about was seeing you get your ass beat. Yeah, you won the match... but sit up in your hospital bed and look at yourself, you pathetic bastard. You got the crap kicked out of you by Lance Errington. And if he can beat your ass, just think what I can do, you cowboy wannabe faggot.

So bring your little title shot, bring your fucked up knee, and most importantly bring your punk ass to Wrestlewar, because just like I already did twice before, I'm gonna beat your ass. When I'm done with you, you'll be sitting in a wheelchair, sitting behind the counter at some gay bar in Texas serving drinks. I'm gonna destroy you, you dumb son of a bitch, just like I did to Troy Black and everyone else in VCW. The Homicide Road Tour is making a big stop at Wrestlewar just for you, and I'm gonna Chokeslam your ass into the ground so hard that you'll already be six feet under, and all they have to do is set down the tombstone, and write on it... "Here lies David Wright Hubbard, the sorry bastard who thought he was hard and got his ass beat by Crimson."

The crowd's booing loudly. This is devoid of any intelligent thought or insight into the match. This is just pure hatred and venom spewing forth from Crimson. Now Rebecca Black's taking the microphone, and the boos get even louder, as a chant of "SLUT!" begins for her. She opens up her leather jacket, revealing a Strahd T-shirt, which draws even louder boos from the crowd, mixed in with some cheers from the die-hard SMCW fans (there are a lot of those in Toronto).

R. Black: Troy... last night was the night I've been waiting for. Finally, someone did what Gabriel couldn't do, and took you down. Because of Strahd, you lost the VCW World Title, and you got beaten within an inch of your life by Crimson. And that's only the beginning. Because if you can somehow recover from getting your ass torn to shreds by Crimson, you're in the main event at our January seventh interpromotional show with Slam Masters Championship Wrestling. You're in the main event... one-on-one... against Strahd.

Troy Black vs. Strahd!? That pits the two men who are arguably the "franchise" of their respective companies against each other, one-on-one! The crowd doesn't know whether to boo Rebecca's devious plot, or cheer for the great main event match just announced. Now Tony Garcia's taking the microphone, and the crowd's booing loudly, as they remember what he did last night to Gabriel...

T. Garcia: Hey. Listen, people, I've got a little tape that you need to see. Roll the tape from last night.

Up on the ViolenTron, we see footage from last night's pay-per-view match between Tony Garcia and Gabriel Black...

From Deck the Halls 2000...
(joined in progress)

Tony Garcia gets up with the wooden axe handle, and hauls Gabriel to his feet too. He draws back the axe handle, preparing to swing it like a baseball bat... AND HE JUST MURDERED GABRIEL BLACK!! Gabriel Black just took a massive blow square to the head with the wooden axe handle, and he crumples to the mat like a corpse, which he may very well be! Tony Garcia quickly chucks the wooden axe handle out of the ring as Linda Peterson turns around, alerted by the sickening sound of wood against bone, but she doesn't see any incriminating evidence. Gabriel Black is completely laid out... he may be seriously injured here. At least he's breathing, thank God, but he's bleeding heavily from a hideous, bloody knot on the side of his head. Tony Garcia plants a foot on his chest, but before she counts the pin, Linda Peterson's asking him what happened to Gabriel... and Tony Garcia's pantomiming a spinning elbowsmash. Linda Peterson seems to buy it... and I've got a certain bridge I'd like to sell her, but now she's counting the pin. This is academic... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!!

Back in the arena, the crowd's booing loudly and starting an "ASSHOLE" chant which quickly grows in volume. Tony Garcia looks around angrily, then raises the microphone to speak while glaring at the crowd and gesturing out at them with his axe handle.

T. Garcia: You just saw me knock out the most feared man in VCW!! Gabriel Black's a badass, and you can count the number of times he's lost a match on the fingers of one hand... but what you just saw is Tony Garcia whipping his ass! He's lucky he's not DEAD. He's laid up in a hospital with a concussion or two, sucking morphine straight from the IV tube, and praying that I won't come back finish him off once and for all! By all rights, I'm the one of the top dogs in VCW now, and Crimson... any time you're ready, it'll be my pleasure to face off one-on-one in a title shot to determine who the real monster of VCW is.

Crimson's taking the microphone back now... things could get tense here...

Crimson: Unlike just about everyone in VCW... you... I got just a little respect for you. You've been breaking people's backs on a regular basis since I was power bombing the toughest kids in the third grade off the monkey bars. You've been kicking ass for twenty years and you're still going strong, and I respect that. If you want a title shot, you bet your ass you deserve one... but I ain't gonna go easy on you neither.

Hold it, "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath is playing now, and this can't be... it is!! David Wright Hubbard just stepped out of the backstage area, walking with a crutch! He's standing at the top of the ramp, staring down Crimson and his teammates and allies, and he's leaning on a crutch! With the other hand, he raises a microphone, waiting for the crowd's cheers to die down before he speaks.

D.W. Hubbard: There's only one person you owe a title shot to, and that's me, you big piece of shit. You think you got lucky when you screwed Troy Black out of that title? That's not the case, you damn idiot, and let me tell you why. See, I've got a title shot for Wrestlewar, and I've been meaning to kick your big ass from day one... and come Wrestlewar, you're gonna be wishing it was Troy Black in there, not you. Now, I give Lance Errington all the credit in the world... he's a mean, ruthless, son of a bitch, but Michelle took bumps like that for ten years in Japan, and if you think she's not getting back up from that, you ain't thinking straight. And me... if you think Lance Errington kicked my ass last Saturday, then you won't even have words to describe what I do to your big ass at Wrestlewar.

Crimson: That's big talk coming from a man standing up there on crutches, boy. What's to stop all of us from running down there and beating the hell out of your ass!?

D.W. Hubbard: Not a whole damn lot, apart from the fact that you'd all get your sorry asses kicked. But I tell you what... we can do this right now, and let the H.A.R.P Squad pull it apart real quick... or we can make this nice and legal, in a match later on tonight. But if you want a match... I've got someone else who wants in on it, and that's big Scott Hall. So I'm calling you out, and bring the Macho Man... because me and Hall want a match against you and that bald-headed piece of crap, the Macho Man, right here, tonight.

The crowd cheers, but is this jumping the gun!? David Wright Hubbard is walking around on crutches, and he wants to be in a tag team match with the Macho Man and the VCW World Champion!? Crimson is looking over to Randy Savage, and they're discussing it privately... and Crimson's smiling. That's never a good thing.

Crimson: I tell you want. You and Hall actually want to get in the ring, after what the Macho Man did to Hall last Saturday night, and after seeing me damn near kill Troy Black!? You want to walk down to the ring with your little punk-ass crutches and try to get some of me? I almost want to tell you to get your ass home, because I feel sorry for you... but me and the Macho Man ain't about to show you one drop of mercy. You've got your match, you pathetic cripple. But in the meantime... we're gonna kick your ass right now.

Crimson throws aside the microphone, and the whole damn cavalry's coming up the ramp to meet David Wright Hubbard... and he's motioning for them to bring it on! Butch Manson leads the charge... and David Wright Hubbard nearly takes his head off with a blow from the crutch, breaking it into pieces! Dick Douglas comes in, but David Wright Hubbard slugs him in the midsection, then grabs him and tosses him into Jack Norman, sending them both spilling down to the steel! But Tony Garcia stops his momentum with an axe handle to the wounded, and now they're surrounding him and pounding away at him... but here comes Scott Hall!! Scott Hall's helping to fight off Hell's Bikers, but it's not enough... but now Robert Danson and the Wrecking Crew are out from the backstage area! And here comes Devaccio Pola, helping as well! There's a massive brawl, and the odds are even again!

And of course, here comes the H.A.R.P. Squad to break it up, drawing loud boos from the crowd. With some difficulty, they seperate the brawling masses, though Devaccio Pola and Randy Savage, the two mentally unstable members of their respective groups, are still struggling against the H.A.R.P. Squad in an attempt to keep fighting. The combatants are all held apart and escorted backstage, and the crowd begins a "HARP SQUAD SUCKS!" chant to voice their disapproval.

Shortly after the brawl has died down, "Can You Take Me Higher" by Creed begins playing, and Lance Errington comes out of the backstage area, looking like walking death. His face is covered in stitches and bruises, and he's wearing tape around his midsection and heavily favoring his back. He grabs a microphone and climbs into the ring, as the crowd gives him a mixed reaction of boos and cheers. For some odd reason, here in SMCW country, Lance Errington gets a fairly good-sized pop...

L. Errington: Last night... I may have taken the beating of my life, but as you just saw, so did David Wright Hubbard, and so did his wife Michelle. Erica... your warrior has avenged you. Last Saturday, I taught David Wright Hubbard the true meaning of physical and emotional pain. I did what nobody expected me to do... I stood against David Wright Hubbard and nearly destroyed him. And as much as I'd like to finish the job, I'm more than happy to let Crimson take over where I left off. We'll see just how bad-ass David Wright Hubbard is when he's facing a nearly seven foot, three hundred pound monster instead of a hundred and ten pound woman.

The crowd gives a mixed response again. Whether you agree with them or not, it's true that Lance Errington, despite his despicable and cowardly actions, did put up one HELL of a fight against David Wright Hubbard last Saturday.

L. Errington: But now the bringer of justice must rest. I barely survived last night. I have to admit, I went into that match, and I got the most physical, intense fight of my life. David Wright Hubbard beat me like a woman. And even though I gave him the same beating right back... even though he'll probably never be the same after what I did to him... I'm in a bad way right now. But I've just got one thing to say. Erica, I know you're watching... your avenging knight wants his princess back. You turned your back on me once, but I've forgiven you in my heart. Leaving me to hook up with that slimeball Gabriel Black was a stupid thing to do, but I can understand it... you're a woman, after all, a member of the physically and mentally weaker sex. If anything, it's my fault... as a man, as your defender and warrior, I should have protected you from your own poor womanly judgement. Maybe I failed you... but I'll never fail you again.

The crowd's booing a little bit more now. Lance Errington's getting even a little more bizarre and offensive than usual here, and even this crowd's sympathies are starting to be lost.

L. Errington: Think it over. But meanwhile... I'd like to dedicate this, my next victory, to Lady Erica Whitmore. This is for you, love. Send out my opponent.

Some cheesy face jobber music begins playing, and Russel "The Muscle" Taylor comes out of the backstage area, slapping palms with the fans and running out energetically, but getting nearly no reaction. He slides into the ring, and a referee follows suit... and we've got a match!

Lance Errington

vs.

Russel "The Muscle" Taylor

Lance Errington opens up viciously from the beginning, going right after Russel Taylor's knee. He's slowed down a little by his lingering injuries, but his skill in both technical wrestling and brawling so far surpasses Russel's that he takes the advantage and holds it pretty consistently. After taking some abuse, Russel Taylor manages to backdrop his way out of a piledriver attempt, then retaliates with some hobbling attempts at running clotheslines, but Lance Errington ducks one and gives him a swift kick to the midsection, followed by the Ace Crusher, followed by a Scorpion Deathlock for the quick submission.

Lance Errington made Russel Taylor submit to the Scorpion Deathlock in 0:03:01.
Rating: *

Lance Errington leaves the ring and heads backstage, with the crowd still giving him a mixed reaction as he departs. Russel "The Muscle" Taylor pulls himself to his feet and rolls out of the ring, but a man in a business suit is coming down the aisle, and intercepts him as he walks up the ramp. He says a few unheard words to Russel Taylor, then hands him an envelope, and the two walk backstage together. Huh... wonder what that was about? Oh, well, it's just Russel. Who cares?

"Smells Like Nirvana" by Weird Al Yankovic begins playing, and the crowd boos and groans in disappointment again as Ruby Richard Cage and Hunk Higgins, the Middle-Aged Outlaws, make their way to the ring. Once inside, Ruby Richard Cage spins around pointing to the crowd, then makes the Ruby Cutter sign to a fizzling, pathetic display of pyro, as Hunk Higgins rips off his tank top and poses, then puts his hand to his ear to listen for the crowd reaction, which is a mild round of boos. Those boos get slightly louder when Ruby Richard Cage is handed a microphone.

R.R. Cage: You love me... you hate me... you'll NEVER get rid of me.

Unfortunately, that statement's been true so far. The crowd continues to boo; many of them are getting up to use the restroom or buy something at the concession stands.

R.R. Cage: Dudes and dudettes, cats and chicks, and all you little kids out there, the baby boomer generation proudly brings to you the future ONE-TIME! ONE-TIME! ONE-TIME! ... VCW TAG team CHAMPIONS of the WOOORRRLLD... "The Immortal" Hunk Higgins... Ruby Richard Cage... the MIDDLE-AGED OUTLAWS!!

H. Higgins: And brother, if you're not down with that, I've got two words for ya... TOUGH CRAP!

The crowd's still booing them; how long have they been re-hashing this act now?

R.R. Cage: You know, I'm feeling pretty JACKED UP right now, and it's all because of what the big man told me over Christmas. Tell 'em how it is, bro.

H. Higgins: Well, ya know somethin', Hunkamaniacs, on Christmas Eve when all the good little Hunkamaniacs were tucking themselves away in bed after watching a tape of my movie, Genghis Khan's Christmas Adventure, I was up at the North Pole hanging and banging with Santa Claus, brother. And he told me that since I've been a good Hunkster all year long, except for that little incident with that thirteen-year-old girl in the junior high bathroom, I'm gonna get a big present pretty soon here. But then this no-good coward, this Johnny-come-lately Hunk Higgins wanna-be who couldn't draw flies at a flea market, came down out of the rafters, and he came from behind and jumped on Santa Claus's back, Jack. And so you know what I did!?

Brother, I pulled this dude off of Santa Claus, and I dragged his sorry carcass to the ring, and put a leather strap around his wrist, and then around mine, and I fought this no-good gutless coward in a Yappapai Indian Strap Match, brother. And I whipped him like the dog that he was. The flesh was bubbling and boiling off his body as I whipped him, and he begged me, "Please, Hunk Higgins, show some mercy, I didn't mean to jump on Santa Claus, call off the forty-two inch anacondas, because I'm sorry, dude!" and then I finished him off with the Big Leg Drop, and Santa Claus put a big old lump of coal right down his throat, dude.

But as I was standing there after beating this coward, just like I beat Gabriel Black, just like I've beaten everybody who doesn't realize that Hunkamania is the strongest force in the universe... as I was standing there, with Santa Claus cheering me on, and that Yappapai Indian strap around my wrist, I saw a vision of the Great Yappapai Chief, brother. And he told me that he was my spirit guardian, dude, and that with his powers combined with the the power of Hunkamania and the forty-two inch pythons, that the Middle-Aged Outlaws were gonna show everyone in VCW who the greatest tag team really is, brother. So we're calling anybody in the back who wants to get some to climb down out of the rafters, and we'll beat you in the middle of the ring. So what'cha gonna do when Hunkamania, the Middle-Aged Outlaws, and the warrior spirits of the Yappapai RUN WILD ON YOU!?!?

For the love of God, is it even POSSIBLE to cut a promo even more ludicrous and pointless!? The crowd's just staring in complete awe of his ability to talk utter nonsense, and even Ruby Richard Cage and Jesse Smark can't help but look at him strangely for a brief instant before they begin nodding and agreeing with him. Uh-oh... that's "Calling Dr. Love" by KISS that just started playing, and here come "Doctor" Dave Adams and Main Street Pete, along with Nurse Vivacia. And to make matters worse, Dave Adams has a microphone. What's he going to do, break the world record that Hunk Higgins just set for sounding like an idiot!?

D. Adams: Since you made the offer, we'll be happy to beat you two right here, tonight. But first, I'm making a little offer of my own to all of the women here in Toronto, and that's an offer to meet me at my hotel and experience first hand what the American prince of pleasure brings to the table. You know, one thing Canada is famous for is maple syrup, just like Dave Adams is famous for being the greatest lover on God's green earth. But I couldn't care less about maple syrup, because when I get you in my bed, lapping up every last drop of your Canadian honey, I'll know what the sweetest taste of all really is.

And then, when you're singing out in pleasure like there's no tomorrow, I'll let you taste the delectable delight on my lips as I grab onto your hips and fulfill all of your fantasies, taking you to places that you never even thought you'd seen before. And as you gyrate and writhe in passion, with your spine going limp, I'll take you up into the stratosphere, blasting you into space as the pulses of pure pleasure rocket through your body at the speed of light. And as you scream my name all night long, shaking the Earth and the stars in the heavens, screaming my name so loud they can hear it back in the States, wondering if it could ever get any better... that's when I plug you in and turn the electricity of the ecstasy up to a hundred and eighty thousand volts, and take you so high that you'll never come down again. So ladies... brace yourselves for the coming of the orgasmic overlord, and the pleasures that I'm going to bestow on each and every one of you.

Yep, pretty much. Nobody can quite understand what the hell Dave Adams is talking about... but that doesn't matter right now, because now he's heading to the ring, along with Main Street Pete, to take on the Middle-Aged Outlaws! This match is on!

"Doctor" Dave Adams & Main Street Pete
w/Nurse Vivacia

vs.

Middle-Aged Outlaws
w/Jesse Smark

As can be expected, Dave Adams and Main Street Pete dominate the Middle-Aged Outlaws. Ruby Richard Cage hits a Ruby Cutter and makes a brief comeback after taking a beating, but gets subdued again shortly. The domination continues, but when Main Street Pete hits the Main Street Special on Hunk Higgins, he begins Hunking Up. He gets off the big boot and the Big Leg Drop... but Dave Adams breaks the ensuing pin with a DDT, then tags himself in with Main Street Pete and hits another DDT! He throws Ruby Richard Cage out to the floor, and goes for the cover... but Jesse Smark is distracting the referee! And here come Bass Rogers and Dean Sanders out of the backstage area! Dean Sanders pulls Main Street Pete out of the ring and knocks him headfirst into the steel stairs, and Bass Rogers climbs into the ring, picks Dave Adams up, and drills him with a power bomb! Stiff Competition is leaving the ring, and the referee turns around... just as Hunk Higgins drapes an arm over Dave Adams for the three count!!

The Middle-Aged Outlaws defeated Dave Adams & Main Street Pete when Higgins pinned Doctor Dave after outside interference in 0:04:36.
Rating -**

Unbelievable!! The Middle-Aged Outlaws win AGAIN! Main Street Pete and Dave Adams are heading backstage, still hurting after taking that beating, and the unfortunate crowd is treated to several minutes of Hunk Higgins posing in the middle of the ring, as Ruby Richard Cage does likewise at his side. The Middle-Aged Outlaws are actually on a winning streak of sorts! Has Hell frozen over, or is this just a bizarre series of freak accidents!? The Middle-Aged Outlaws are finally leaving the ring... thank God.

But unfortunately, what's coming up ahead isn't much better, if any. Some cheap Japanese-style music begins playing, heralding the arrival of the Super Giant Ninja, who's greeted with about the same amount of enthusiasm as Russel Taylor was earlier. He lumbers to the ring and climbs inside, awaiting a match tonight where he faces a foe larger than himself one-on-one for the first time.

Here comes that foe, as "Gor-Gor" by GWAR kicks on over the arena sound system, and Jorge Gonzalez comes out of the backstage area. Stormy Weathers isn't by his side, and for that we can thank Melissa DelArmeggio, Salvaje Demonio, and Devaccio Pola, who gave Stormy a well-deserved thrashing at Deck the Halls. He enters the ring, and it can be seen that amazingly, he even towers over the Super Giant Ninja by a few inches. A referee enters the ring and calls for the bell, and we have a match.

Jorge Gonzalez

vs.

The Super Giant Ninja

To describe this match as a legitimate physical confrontation would be a more ridiculous mistruth in wrestling than the notion that the Undertaker is really an undead avatar of vengance and death. For two and a half minutes, they flail away at each other with blows that are slow and weak at best, and miss by about a foot and a half at worst, yet still get "sold" with a stagger backwards. After two and a half minutes of this crap, the Super Giant Ninja goes down, and when he gets up, Jorge Gonzalez grabs him in the clawhold. The Super Giant Ninja obviously jumps into the air and allows Jorge Gonzalez to guide him to the mat with the Clawslam, then remains still as Jorge covers for the three-count, and the audience lets out a collective sigh of relief that this match is over.

Jorge Gonzalez pinned The Super Giant Ninja with the Clawslam in 0:02:43.
Rating: -*****

It's official, folks... we have a new match worthy of the title of worst VCW match in history. Even the T & A Division consistently produces better wrestling matches than this. Jorge Gonzalez leaves the ring victoriously, and the Super Giant Ninja is left laying for a few moments before he gets up and hobbles backstage. After a performance like this one, both of these men will be lucky if a pink slip isn't awaiting them when they get back to the locker room.

Now "Talk Dirty To Me" by Poison begins playing now, and the crowd cheers as the Heavy Metal Express, Marty Jannetty and Lars Coverdale, come to the ring. They were screwed out of a victory last Saturday by Virginia, and tonight they get a rematch against the Manhunters in tag team action. But first, they enter the ring and grab microphones, preparing to address the crowd. This should be unique, but hey... it's an improvement over Dave Adams and the Middle-Aged Outlaws, right?

M. Jannetty: Hey, everyone. We're the Heavy Metal Express. As always, I'm Marty Jannetty, and this is my most excellent partner, Lars Coverdale.

L. Coverdale: Party on, Marty.

M. Jannetty: Party on, Lars.

L. Coverdale: First of all, I'd just like to say that the previous match was totally full of brutality and pain.

M. Jannetty: For sure. All of the matches involving those two are brutal and painful.

L. Coverdale: Yeah, and this'll probably be another brutal match, because as they proved last Saturday night, the Manhunters have totally mastered the art of brutality. You're about to see a match that'll totally blow you away!

M. Jannetty: Yeah, except for the part about "you" and "away".

The crowd's cheering and laughing, but are they even supposed to be saying this? "Degenerated" by the Lone Rangers is playing over the arena sound system now, and here come the Manhunters, to a chorus of boos from the crowd. It''s hard to tell under the masks, but they don't look terribly happy about being mocked. A referee enters the ring, and the Manhunters begin getting right down to business, brawling with the Heavy Metal Express!

Heavy Metal Express

vs.

Manhunters

The Manhunters dominate the match for the most part, roughing Marty and Lars up pretty stiffly. The Heavy Metal Express comes back briefly with a series of double-team moves, but the Manhunters regain control, using their superior power to dominate their smaller adversaries. A choke slam from Manhunter #1 sets up the Double Diving Headbutt on Marty Jannetty, but they take too long and he moves out of the way, then tags in Lars Coverdale. The Heavy Metal Express quickly dispose of Manhunter #2 by throwing him out of the ring, then hit a few tandem moves on Manhunter #1, finishing with the Double Superkick. Marty Jannetty runs and nails Manhunter #2 with a baseball slide as he starts to climb back into the ring, as Lars Coverdale pins Manhunter #1 for the three count.

The Heavy Metal Express defeated The Manhunters when Coverdale pinned Manhunter #1 after the Double Superkick in 0:08:49.
Rating: DUD

They weren't kidding... that match was a little on the brutal side, in more ways than one. But the Heavy Metal Express has proved that they were capable of defeating the Manhunters, despite getting beat up pretty badly for most of the match. Covered in welts and bruises, they retreat backstage as the Manhunters regroup in the ring, looking less than pleased about the outcome of this match. The Manhunters also leave the ring, getting mild boos from the crowd.

Now "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd gives a mixed reaction of mostly boos, as Moy Lazzario comes out of the backstage area. He walks to the ring and grabs a microphone, then climbs inside.

M. Lazzario: Mongo... last night, you attacked me from behind, after all I've tried to help you. Before I came along, you were hanging around with that total jackass Arthur Justice, and that's just pathetic. If you've got a problem, you armchair quarterback, you can bring your big dopey self in here, and I'll slap the stupid look off of your face.

"The Four Horsemen" by Metallica begins playing next, bringing out Steve "Mongo" McMichael and drawing boos from the crowd. Mongo walks to the ring, grabs a microphone, and climbs inside, then stands face to face with Moy Lazzario, with an expression of incredulous anger on his face.

S. McMichael: Listen, you scrawny little punk loser, Mongo's got better things to do than come out here and deal with a little man with a big mouth like you. We all know that I'm a great athelete... I was in the Four Horsemen. I was WCW US Champion. But you, you're just a nobody who can't do nothing right, just like these people out here. So either you get down on your knees and apologize right now, or Mongo's gonna whoop you like you stole something, baby.

The crowd boos, and Moy Lazzario looks away, not seeming so confident now. He runs his hand across his hair and pauses for a moment, then looks at Mongo again.

M. Lazzario: You know, you're probably right, Mongo. I should be apologizing to you for what I said... but I don't really want to apologize to a washed-up, middle-aged, pot-bellied musclehead--

Moy Lazzario just said too much, and Mongo sucker-punched him! Mongo is pounding away at Moy Lazzario, and a referee's in the ring now, calling for the bell. Just like that, this is an official match!

Moy Lazzario

vs.

Steve "Mongo" McMichael

Mongo controls the match for a minute or so after the initial attack, but Moy Lazzario turns things around with his quickness and vastly superior skill, and begins wearing Mongo down and outmaneuvering him... until he gets caught with a powerslam for a near fall. Mongo continues to dominate Moy Lazzario, but when he goes for a Tombstone, Moy Lazzario squirms out behind him, then takes him down with a belly-to-back suplex... but Mongo falls out of his grasp, landing right on his elbow. Mongo lies on the mat, clutching his arm in pain. Moy Lazzario hesitates and exchanges a brief glance with the referee, then goes for the cover and gets three.

Moy Lazzario pinned Steve McMichael after a belly-to-back suplex in 0:04:23.
Steve McMichael suffered an elbow injury. He will be out for approximately 3 months.
Rating: DUD

Moy Lazzario just won the match, and Mongo may be seriously hurt. The trainers are out to check on him, and they're helping him backstage, as Moy Lazzario celebrates his victory in the ring... but Arthur Justice is coming out of the backstage area, and he's got a chair! He slides into the ring... Moy Lazzario turns around, and Arthur Justice gives him a chairshot to the head! Moy Lazzario goes down, and Arthur Justice drops the chair and picks him up off of the mat, putting on the cobra clutch... and he gives Moy Lazzario a Justifier on the chair!! Now he's grabbing a microphone.

A. Justice: So I'm a total jackass, huh!? Whatever. I think I just showed everyone who the Rookie Sensation of VCW really is, and if you're not down with that, I've got two words for ya...

Arthur Justice does the X-shaped crotch chop at Moy Lazzario's body, but the crowd just boos.

A. Justice: Hold it, hold it. People, I'm supposed to be a face. I'm the Rookie Sensation, I'm a member of Administration X. I've got a bunch of cool catchphrases. You're supposed to CHEER for me, and sing along with my catchphrases. I mean, I can understand how you could get confused, being as you were dumb enough to nominate that loser Bret Hart as the Canadian wrestling icon, but now I've cleared it up. Let's try it again. I've got two words for ya...

Arthur Justice does the X-shaped crotch chop again, and once again only gets boos.

A. Justice: Wait, wait, wait... I know what the problem is. You don't know my catchphrases! See, in America, we have this thing called television, and I'm on it every Monday night, entertaining all my fans with my exciting catchphrases. I could see why you wouldn't have television in a primitive country like this, but I won't hold it against you. But anyway, the point is that when I say "I've got two words for ya..." you're all supposed to yell, "BLOW ME!" as loud as you can. Ready? ... I've got two words for ya...

Once again, the crowd responds with nothing but boos. Moy Lazzario is still laid out, not getting up anytime soon after taking the Justifier on the chair.

A. Justice: What the hell do you people want!? I'm attractive, I'm charismatic, I'm young, I'm talented, I've got a great gimmick... why won't you cheer for me!? I'm the future of wrestling, people! You can't deny it!

Wait, Johnny Smiles just appeared out of the backstage area, and now he's running to the ring as the crowd comes to life, standing and cheering loudly! Arthur Justice thinks the cheers are for him, and immediately begins basking in them...

A. Justice: That's more like it. Thank you! Thank you all! Yes, I love you too. You're a great crowd! Well, not really, but I've seen worse. I'm proud to be one of your favorite--

Johnny Smiles comes from behind Arthur Justice and turns him around, then picks him up in a fireman's carry... SMILEDRIVER!! Johnny Smiles just planted Arthur Justice in the middle of the ring, and the crowd's loving it! Johnny helps Moy Lazzario to his feet and begins helping him to make his way backstage, as "Talk Dirty To Me" by Poison begins playing, and the crowd continues to cheer.

Arthur Justice is just starting to get up, but now "Liquid Mercury" by Jimmy Page begins playing, and here comes "The California Crippler" Ken Collins, along with Stacey Lockman. He enters the ring as Arthur Justice stands, and without hesitation drills him in the midsection with a swift kick, then brings him down with a DDT to a huge round of applause from the crowd. Ken Collins rolls Arthur Justice out of the ring with his feet as Stacey Lockman grabs a microphone.

S. Lockman: Even when my Dad was VCW Commissioner, I always kinda thought Arthur wasn't worth the paper his contract was printed on. And after what we just saw, I know nothing's changed.

Some trainers are helping Arthur Justice backstage now, and Ken Collins takes the microphone from Stacey.

K. Collins: I already took care of Arthur last Saturday at Deck the Halls. Tonight, I've got more important things on my mind. Lorenzo Vasquez, my opponent tonight, is the only thing standing between me and one more shot at the VCW Television Title. Tonight, we both get one more chance to earn one more title shot. Whoever wins tonight gets a two-out-of-three falls match with Jiro Tobikuma tomorrow night when we tape next Monday's show. And no matter how impressive Lorenzo Vasquez has been since coming to VCW, he's not getting through me... because that's just how bad I want the VCW Television Title.

After two very close, but unsuccessful matches with Jiro Tobikuma, is Ken Collins ready to take the title if he wins tonight? Maybe, but considering the start that Lorenzo Vasquez has been off to in his VCW career, that "if" is a very big one. And sure enough, "Kiss My Ass" by Ted Nugent begins playing, bringing out Lorenzo Vasquez, along with Rebecca Black, both of whom are wearing Strahd T-shirts. Rebecca Black has a microphone.

R. Black: Hey, Stacey. Remember that time when you tried to interview Falcon, and I'd just finished going down on him, and I gave you a big kiss and--

K. Collins: If you don't mind, I'm here to earn a shot at the VCW Television Title, not listen to you tell everyone what kind of a slut you are.

Ken Collins may have just saved our censors some work there. Stacey Lockman looks like she's about to throw up after having some unpleasant memories brought back, but Rebecca Black and Lorenzo Vasquez exchange a glance of surprise, as if unable to believe that Ken Collins would actually dare to say that. Lorenzo Vasquez takes the microphone.

L. Vasquez: Oh, yeah... we forgot. You're a complete professional, right? California Crippler and all that. Do your talking in the ring. Strictly business all the way. Shut up and wrestle. You're on that whole kick, aren't you? Well, then how in the name of Sean Black would you explain THIS crap!? Tell the boys in the truck to roll the footage.

Some familiar (and embarrassing) footage begins playing on the ViolenTron...

From VCW Monday Night Wrestling 10/18/99 (VCW 41):

"Riders On The Storm" by the Doors plays over the arena sound system, and the crowd is torn between booing and howling with laughter as Ken Collins and Robert Danson come to the ring, dressed in their evening gowns. Nicole, for whatever reason, is nowhere to be seen tonight, but none of this stops the Immortals from waving to the crowd and mugging for the camera like they usually do. Ken Collins grabs a microphone.

K. Collins: Well, we're men of our word. We promised we'd wear evening gowns and wrestle each other in an Evening Gown Match if we lost to the Annihilators, and we're here to make good on it.

R. Danson: Yeah, but don't let this fool anyone, because we're still the same buff, macho dudes we always were. You're looking at two one-hundred percent Grade-A American MEN.

K. Collins: Couldn't have said it better myself. And by the way, I'm the California Crippler, Ken Collins.

R. Danson: And I'm his tag team partner, the handsome, knowledgable, and powerful Robert Danson. Together, we're the Immortals. Two great wrestlers, one great tag team.

K. Collins: But because we are such macho men, and because we are confident in our masculinity, we feel no shame in dressing up like this. Heck, we actually look kind of good dressed like this.

R. Danson: Or at least I do. No offense, Ken, but I think you're showing a little too much cleavage in that gown.

K. Collins: Don't go there. I KNOW you aren't trying to say that I'm a cheap slut.

R. Danson: Well, all I'm trying to say is that you're gown's showing more breast and thigh than the twenty-piece chicken basket down at the local Kentucky Fried.

K. Collins: Why you... you... cheap hussy!!

R. Danson: Slut!!

K. Collins: Bitch!!

R. Danson: You tramp!

K. Collins: Whore!! I'll claw your eyes out!!

The Immortals lunge at each other, pulling hair and clawing at each others' gowns like two high-school girls mixing it up at prom night. The poor referee isn't even able to enter the ring to officiate this match right away due to being incapacitated by a fit of laughter, like many members of the crowd.

Back in the arena, Lorenzo Vasquez stands at the top of the ramp with a triumphant smirk, as Rebecca Black leans against him, overcome in a fit of giggling, and Stacey Lockman tries to suppress her laughter as well. The crowd is cheering and laughing as well. Ken Collins himself even smiles for a second, as Lorenzo Vasquez raises the microphone.

L. Vasquez: Now... just out of curiousity and all... what the hell kind of faggot shit was that!?

Ken Collins smiles a little reluctantly and shrugs. He knows that Lorenzo has a point here... that segment WAS ridiculous.

K. Collins: First of all, he had no right to say I was dressed like a slut when he was walking around in that cheap gown. Second of all, yes, it's true... I'm the man who got into a catfight with his tag team partner while wearing a dress. So after you tap out to me tonight, maybe you can explain to your mentor, Sean Black, why it is that you got beat by a man who wears a dress and gets into Evening Gown Matches with his tag team partner.

L. Vasquez: Yeah, we'll just see about that. What's really gonna happen is that I'm gonna get in that ring, I'm gonna beat up a dress-wearing pussy and earn a shot at the VCW Television Title, and then... Stacey, you're welcome to come on back to my hotel room, and me and Rebecca will fuck you like the pizza boy fucked your mom the day you were conceived.

Lorenzo Vasquez just tossed aside the microphone, and now he's coming to the ring, and Ken Collins is waiting for him! Lorenzo steps inside, and they begin trading blows, as a referee comes in to officiate the match!

Winner Faces VCW Television Champion:

"The California Crippler" Ken Collins
w/Stacey Lockman

vs.

"The Barcelona Assassin" Lorenzo Vasquez
w/Rebecca Black

After a short exchange of blows, Ken Collins locks up with Lorenzo Vasquez and begins using his superior wrestling ability, taking Lorenzo down repeatedly. Lorenzo Vasquez gets frustrated and charges, but Ken Collins only brings him down again, then begins working over his arm and shoulder in preparation for the California Crossface. Lorenzo Vasquez takes quite a bit of punishment to the arm, then manages to roll out of the ring and escape to the outside, where Rebecca Black tries to console and advise him, but is interrupted when Ken Collins wipes them both out with a plancha.

Ken Collins goes to work on Lorenzo Vasquez on the outside, but Lorenzo manages to halt his offense with an eye gouge, followed up with a low blow. Ken Collins goes down, and despite his weakened shoulder Lorenzo takes the advantage, introducing his head into the various foreign objects around ringside and beating him up with a flurry of punches and chops with his good arm, then rolling him back into the ring. In the ring, Lorenzo Vasquez does a little focused offense of his own on Ken Collins's arm, trying to set up his own move, the Barcelona Armbar. After a few minutes of focused offense on the arm mixed in with a few minutes of just generically kicking the crap out of Ken Collins, Lorenzo Vasquez misses a charge into the corner after Ken Collins, and connects shoulder-first with the ringpost.

Ken Collins goes right after the weakness, attacking the shoulder without mercy. After a few minutes of offense, he whips Lorenzo Vasquez into the ropes and runs into the other side, but Rebecca Black trips him, and Lorenzo Vasquez is quick to pounce on him and take the advantage again. With his shoulder obviously handicapping him now, Lorenzo Vasquez slows the match down, still punishing Ken Collins's arm in between taunting the crowd and Stacey Lockman. With Ken Collins seemingly ready to be defeated, he goes for an armbar takedown, but Ken Collins squirms free and slips behind him, then brings him down in a release German suplex.

Both men are a little slow to get up, but Ken Collins gets up first and takes the advantage back by sending Lorenzo Vasquez back down with a well-timed kick and a single-arm DDT. A series of dropkicks is followed by a shoulderbreaker from Ken Collins, and he puts on the California Crossface!! Lorenzo Vasquez is about as far away from the ropes as humanly possible, and it doesn't look like he has any chance in hell of making it... but Rebecca Black reaches into the ring and grabs Ken Collins foot, and pulls him to the outside! She tries to punch him, but he blocks it, then knocks her off her feet with a brutally stiff chest chop! He turns around to climb back into the ring, but Lorenzo Vasquez catches him coming up to the apron and brings his throat down across the top rope.

Lorenzo Vasquez takes control of Ken Collins with some difficulty due to the pain in his shoulder, and takes him down with a power bomb for a two and a half count. A tiger suplex gets two and three-quarters, and now he's putting on the Barcelona Armbar! But Ken Collins is too close to the ropes, and after a brief struggle he makes it there. Lorenzo Vasquez kicks him a few times out of spite, then places him on the top turnbuckle and goes up after him, attempting a superplex. But his shoulder's not strong enough to lift Ken Collins for the move, and Ken Collins blocks, then shoves him off of the turnbuckle! Lorenzo Vasquez hits the mat, and Ken Collins is still on the top... Lorenzo Vasquez gets up... FLYING DROPKICK!! Ken Collins's feet nearly smashed in Lorenzo Vasquez's ribcage, and he hit the mat like he was thrown out of a car! Ken Collins goes for the cover, and gets three!!

Winner Faces VCW Television Champion:
Ken Collins pinned Lorenzo Vasquez with the Flying Dropkick in 0:14:04.
Rating: *** 1/4

Lorenzo Vasquez is a defeated heap on the mat, and Ken Collins is celebrating the victory in the ring, as the crowd cheers... but Rebecca Black's in the ring now, and she's coming up from behind him with a chair! There's a painful-looking red welt right across her cleavage from the chop she took earlier, and now she's looking for revenge... but Stacey Lockman enters the ring behind her, and pulls the chair away! Rebecca Black turns around, and Stacey Lockman nails her with a shot from the chair, sending her down! Rebecca Black goes down, but is beginning to get up... and Stacey catches her and brings her down in the California Crossface!! Stacey Lockman has the California Crossface on Rebecca Black, and the crowd's going wild! Now Ken Collins turns around, and he goes down to ask Rebecca Black if she's going to tap out! Rebecca Black's struggling, not wanting to suffer the indignity of tapping out to an attack by Stacey Lockman... and it looks like she won't have to, because here comes Tony Garcia, with his wooden axe handle! Stacey Lockman sees him coming and bails out of the ring, releasing the hold, as Ken Collins does likewise.

Tony Garcia helps Rebecca Black and Lorenzo Vasquez get to their feet as Ken Collins and Stacey Lockman retreat up the aisle. Tony Garcia, Lorenzo Vasquez, and Rebecca Black shout threats and obscenities at Ken Collins and Stacey as they head backstage, but none of that's changing the fact that it'll be Ken Collins, not Lorenzo Vasquez, who gets a two-out-of-three falls match for the VCW Television Title at tomorrow night's television taping. After Ken and Stacey have disappeared backstage, Tony Garcia, Lorenzo Vasquez, and Rebecca follow, as Lorenzo Vasquez complains about losing the match the whole time.

"Surfing With The Alien" by Joe Satriani begins playing next, and the crowd cheers as Salvaje Demonio comes out of the backstage area and runs to the ring, where he'll meet Jiro Tobikuma for the VCW Television Title shortly. The winner of this match will defend against Ken Collins, by virtue of the victory Ken Collins just scored over Lorenzo Vasquez. Both of these men had some success last night, but with the recent track record of Jiro Tobikuma, it's looking like he may be the favorite in this match.

Now "Thunder Kiss '65" by White Zombie begins playing, and Jiro Tobikuma comes out of the backstage area to a reception of cheers from the crowd, wearing the VCW Television Title. He comes to the ring and hands the title belt to the referee, who hands it to the timekeeper, then shakes hands with Salvaje Demonio. The referee calls for the bell, and this VCW Television Title match is on...

For the VCW Television Title:

Salvaje Demonio

vs.

Jiro Tobikuma (c)

Salvaje Demonio starts off taking the advantage quickly, taking Jiro Tobikuma down with fast dropkicks, leaping clotheslines, and cross bodypresses, but coming nowhere close to pinning him just yet. With Jiro Tobikuma disoriented, Salvaje Demonio begins wrestling a more technical match, taking him to the mat repeatedly, and going for pins on him often, but never getting more than a two count. He goes for a kick to the midsection, but Jiro Tobikuma catches his foot, then ducks when he attempts an enzuigiri, and applies an STF, forcing Salvaje Demonio to scramble for the ropes.

Jiro Tobikuma takes over the match with his more methodical, technical style, and gets a lukewarm response from the fans, who were enjoying the fast-paced offense of Salvaje Demonio. But after a few minutes of working him over, Jiro Tobikuma loses control of Salvaje Demonio on an attempted brain buster, and Salvaje Demonio squirms out behind and hits a German suplex for a two count. Salvaje Demonio goes back to the attack, moving a little more slowly after absorbing some punishment from Jiro Tobikuma, and after another minute or so of takedowns and quick offense, he sends him over the top rope with a dropkick, then jumps out onto him with a plancha. They brawl on the outside, but here Jiro Tobikuma regains the advantage by reversing a whip to the guardrail, then takes over on offense.

Jiro Tobikuma softens Salvaje Demonio up with a few more minutes of offense, then goes for the heavy stuff. A tiger suplex gets two and three-quarters. So does a lariat. But when Jiro Tobikuma goes for the Fisherman Buster, Salvaje Demonio manages to counter it into a small package, getting two and a half. They pop up, and Jiro Tobikuma goes for a lariat, but Salvaje Demonio ducks and catches the arm and flows into a crucifix for two and a half. Supremely frustrated, Jiro Tobikuma lashes out with another lariat, but again Salvaje Demonio sees it coming and ducks behind, then hits a tiger suplex for two and three-quarters. Jiro Tobikuma's down, and Salvaje Demonio goes up top and hits a flying dropkick, for two and nine-tenths. He takes him down with a fireman's carry into a flapjack, then goes up for the Diving Headbutt and connects... but Jiro Tobikuma gets a foot on the ropes!

Now Salvaje Demonio gets a little frustrated, and pulls Jiro Tobikuma to his feet, then whips him into the turnbuckle. Salvaje Demonio follows him in with a handspring elbow, but Jiro Tobikuma dodges out of the way, then gives him a swift kick to the midsection as he staggers out! Now he hooks his arms, going for the tiger driver, but Salvaje Demonio backdrops out of it! Salvaje Demonio puts him in the corner and nails him with a series of kneelifts, then puts him up on the turnbuckle, and goes for a top-rope Frankensteiner, but Jiro Tobikuma counters... TOP-ROPE POWER BOMB!! Jiro Tobikuma folded Salvaje Demonio down the middle like a piece of paper, and he goes for the pin and gets three!!

Jiro Tobikuma pinned Salvaje Demonio after a top-rope power bomb in 0:14:21.
Rating: *** 1/2
(Jiro Tobikuma retained the VCW Television Title.)

Jiro Tobikuma has retained the VCW Television Title yet again after a fast-paced, intense meeting with Salvaje Demonio! He straps the title around his waist, and helps Salvaje Demonio to his feet. The two combatants exchange a handshake of mutual respect in the middle of the ring, and they leave the ring, headed for the backstage area. Jiro Tobikuma continues to be on one hell of a roll with the VCW Television Title, and Ken Collins has quite a task ahead of him when he meets Jiro Tobikuma one more time at tomorrow night's Monday Night Wrestling tapings.

We aren't likely to see much technical wrestling or mutual respect in this next match; "Highway To Hell" by AC/DC just kicked on, and here come Jack Norman, Butch Manson, and Dick Douglas of Hell's Bikers, along with Tony Garcia, who is carrying his wooden axe handle. As a result of the brawl that took place earlier in the show between involving these four men and others, they've been signed to meet Devaccio Pola, Robert Danson, and the Wrecking Crew, four of their adversaries in that brawl, tonight. They enter the ring, awaiting the opposition, as the crowd boos them.

Now "Domination" by Pantera begins playing, and here come Robert Danson, Devaccio Pola, and the Wrecking Crew, with the crowd cheering them on loudly. They're charging the ring, and a huge brawl breaks out between all eight men, as a referee enters the ring to officiate!

Hell's Bikers (Butch Manson, Dick Douglas, & Jack Norman) & Tony Garcia

vs.

Devaccio Pola, Robert Danson & The Wrecking Crew
w/Nicole

Most of the members of the brawl spill out of the ring to continue brawling on the outside, until Tony Garcia and Robert Danson are left as the legal men in the match by default. Robert Danson hits Tony Garcia with a lot of explosive, quick offensive moves, but Tony Garcia isn't fazed much. He even demonstrates his power by slamming Tony Garcia without much of a problem, but Tony Garcia just keeps getting back up. The brawl outside the ring dissipates somewhat, as everyone heads to their respective corners, and Robert Danson makes the tag to Devaccio Pola.

Devaccio Pola enters the ring and blasts Tony Garcia with a series of stiff kicks and punches, but Tony Garcia absorbs those as well, then reaches out and knocks Devaccio Pola down with a massive right hand. Tony Garcia pummels Devaccio Pola to take control of him, then tags in Butch Manson, and the two nail Devaccio Pola with a massive double headbutt. Butch Manson continues Tony Garcia's work, attacking Devaccio Pola for a minute or so, but Devaccio Pola slides out of a bodyslam attempt and goes behind Butch Manson, then floors him with a kick to the head and makes the tag to Blade.

Blade comes in and hits Butch Manson with some quick offense, then tags in his partner, John Uldwall. They whip Butch Manson into the ropes, and flatten him with a double football tackle, and get two and a half when John Uldwall goes for the pin. John Uldwall amazingly manages to toss Butch Manson around with a few power moves, but Butch Manson counters an attempted belly-to-belly suplex by headbutting him in the nose, then tags in Jack Norman. The match slows down as Jack Norman clobbers John Uldwall with a lot of brawling and power moves, choking him in the corner and beating on him with massive right hands. Jack Norman tags in Dick Douglas, who gets in his licks with a series of punches, kicks, and chokes, then makes the tag to Tony Garcia. Tony Garcia continues the team dominance by pounding away at John Uldwall some more, then tagging in Jack Norman for another round.

Jack Norman brutalizes John Uldwall a little more, then puts on a rear chinlock. John Uldwall appears ready to go down, but when the referee checks his arm, he gets it up on the third try, and fights his way up. He elbows free from Jack Norman's grasp, then runs into the ropes... and comes off right into a massive boot from Jack Norman. Jack Norman tags in Butch Manson, who comes in and continues beating on John Uldwall. After drilling him with a spinebuster, Butch Manson goes up and tries for the Flying Legdrop... but misses when John Uldwall rolls out of the way. Butch Manson tags in Tony Garcia, but John Uldwall tags in Devaccio Pola.

Tony Garcia is completely caught off-guard by the frenzy in which Devaccio Pola enters the ring, nailing him with a series of swift kicks, knocking him off his feet back into his corner. Unseen by Devaccio Pola, Dick Douglas slaps Tony Garcia's shoulder as he gets up, and Tony Garcia tries to attack Devaccio Pola again, getting more punches and kicks as a result... until Dick Douglas clobbers Devaccio Pola from behind. Despite the referee's protests that a legal tag was made, the Wrecking Crew and Robert Danson see this as a good excuse to charge the ring and attack, and Hell's Bikers do likewise, beginning an eight-man brawl in the middle of the ring.

Chaos reigns freely for the next few moments, and Devaccio Pola gets the upper hand on Dick Douglas in the midst of it. He takes Dick Douglas down with the Guillotine Kick and goes for the cover, but Tony Garcia runs forward and goes for a splash to break it up... only to have Devaccio Pola roll out of the way, so that he inadvertently splashes Dick Douglas. Devaccio Pola backs Tony Garcia up against the ropes and nails him with a series of kicks to the head, then knocks him out of the ring with a jumping spinning thrust kick. The Wrecking Crew and Robert Danson make sure that Jack Norman and Butch Manson have their hands full as Devaccio Pola puts the scorpion deathlock on Dick Douglas, getting a submission after a couple of seconds.

Devaccio Pola, Robert Danson, and The Wrecking Crew defeated Hell's Bikers (Butch Manson, Dick Douglas, and Jack Norman) and Tony Garcia when D. Pola made D. Douglas submit to a scorpion deathlock in 0:13:47.
Rating: **

Dick Douglas rolls out of the ring to join Tony Garcia on the outside, as the Wrecking Crew and Robert Danson forcibly evict Jack Norman and Butch Manson from the ring as well. Hell's Bikers and Tony Garcia retreat up the aisle, simmering with anger at the fact that the Wrecking Crew just did it again. Devaccio Pola, Robert Danson, and the Wrecking Crew celebrate in the ring as the crowd cheers, then head backstage as well. Speaking of backstage, we understand that new VCW interviewer Ziggy Adderloaf is backstage with the Ontario Color Show, Jennie, and Christina Ellis, prepared to make his debut as an interviewer. Take it away, Ziggy!

Backstage...

Ziggy Adderloaf, a short, skinny man with long black hair and a "Toy Machine" T-shirt and cargo pants, is standing backstage with the Ontario Color Show, Christina Ellis, and Jennie. Jennie is still walking with a crutch after what happened last Saturday, and Christina Ellis is favoring her injured leg as she stands.

Z. Adderloaf: Hi, everybody. Ontario Color Show, we know that in a moment you'll be able to cement your position as the number-one contenders to the VCW World Tag Team Titles if you beat Stiff Competition in an upcoming two-out-of-three falls match. But first, Christina Ellis... you helped Jennie to fight off Jessica Judd and Jasmina Chastity after Jessica turned against her at Deck the Halls. We know you don't like her... why'd you do it?

C. Ellis: You know... maybe I don't agree with her decision to go around showing herself off to everybody in T and A matches. But when Jasmina attacked Jennie, after she saved me from a post-match attack, and was working together with Jessica Judd, the woman who attacked me after I beat her in the middle of the ring... all of the sudden I knew who my friends were. Jennie... I'm sorry about all that's happened before between us, and I know there's been a lot. But this isn't about advancing the cause of women's wrestling anymore... this is personal. Me and Jennie have to stick together in order to fight them off... and we will.

But as far as I'm concerned, they're not an issue anymore. I'm extending a challenge, one-on-one, to any legitimate woman wrestler in the world to face me at Wrestlewar. It doesn't matter what promotion they work for, or where they are now... I'll personally pay for their air fare and travel expenses to come to Wrestlewar on the fifth of February, and I'll be happy to meet any of them in the ring to show everyone just what I can do.

Jennie: But Jessica... all the same, this ain't over yet. You better not get too happy with growing your hair back, because I'll just be waiting to rip it out of your head when you do.

Z. Adderloaf: Cool. I know we'll be looking forward to seeing you and Jessica ripping each other's hair, and other stuff, too. But Ontario Color Show... what about tonight's match with Stiff Competition?

O. Addison: What about it? We should be the number-one contenders already. I pinned one half of the VCW World Tag Team Champions in the middle of the ring at Deck the Halls. But all the same, the match was made, and now we have to beat Stiff Competition one more time... we have to prove that we're the best in VCW one more time. That's fine... because we can do it. We're gonna put ourselves to the test once again, and we're walking out of here tonight with our sights set on a Wrestlewar match for the VCW World Tag Team Titles.

P. Canyon: Don't take anything away from Stiff Competition. They're a great team. Bass Rogers might as well be made out of bricks, he's so hard to hurt... and Dean Sanders is one of the most vicious and intense men in this sport, and also a great technician. But after coming all this way, we're not letting them stop us now. We have to win, and that's just how it is.

Z. Adderloaf: Thanks for your comments, guys. I'm looking forward to an awesome match. Let's take it to the ring!

Way to go, Ziggy. "War Machine" by KISS is playing now, and that brings Bass Rogers and Dean Sanders, Stiff Competition, to the ring. They suffered a somewhat embarrassing defeat against "Doctor" Dave Adams and Main Street Pete last night, and even though they avenged it earlier tonight with their attack on Dave Adams and Main Street Pete, costing them a match to the Middle-Aged Outlaws, they still really need a win here to stay on top of the tag team scene.

"Until It Sleeps" by Metallica begins playing next, bringing out their opponents, Paul Canyon and Owen Addison, the Ontario Color Show. Jennie is evidently remaining backstage, still suffering from her recent injuries. That could be a blow to the morale of the Ontario Color Show, but if it is, they're not showing it. They enter the ring, and exchange a tense handshake with Stiff Competition. It'll be Owen Addison and Bass Rogers starting out, as a referee enters the ring and calls for the bell.

Two Out Of Three Falls Match:
Stiff Competition

vs.

Ontario Color Show

Owen Addison easily outmaneuvers Bass Rogers in the early going, ducking a potentially decapitating lariat and connecting with a dropkick. A series of dropkicks fails to take Bass Rogers off of his feet, but a savate kick finally does, knocking him on his butt. Paul Canyon gets the tag, and Owen Addison nails Bass Rogers with a dropkick to the back as Paul Canyon hits a dropkick to the knee, causing him to go down again. For a few more minutes, Paul Canyon uses his quickness to chip away at Bass Rogers without getting caught, but Bass Rogers seems nearly indestructable. Owen Addison gets the tag in again, and they lift him up together with obvious effort, bringing him down in a sidewalk slam/inverted DDT combo for a two count.

Owen Addison targets the neck of Bass Rogers next, bringing repeated elbowsmashes down on it, then nailing him with a reverse neckbreaker. But Bass Rogers's telephone pole-like neck just absorbs every move, and he finally catches Owen Addison with a swift punch to the gut, doubling him over, then throws him into the corner and goes to work on him with a brutal combination of big punches. Owen Addison collapses out of the corner, and the tag is made to Dean Sanders.

Dean Sanders comes in and attacks Owen Addison with some stiff blows of his own, then puts him back in the corner and unloads on him with a merciless series of chest chops, drawing loud "WHOOO"s from the crowd and turning Owen's chest bright red. He continues to pour on the pain with a series of three rolling snap suplexes that connect with the mat with a lot of force, then goes to work on Owen Addison's legs, dropping elbows across the knee and stomping at it. But when he goes for a half Boston, Owen Addison kicks him away with the other leg, and he collides with the turnbuckle back-first, then staggers forward into a small package from Owen Addison for two. He gets up, but Owen Addison ducks a punch and whips him into the ropes, then nails him with a dropkick to the head as he comes off.

Owen Addison attacks his neck with a few elbowsmashes, then shakes out his knee a little and tags in Paul Canyon, who takes control with some dropkicks and fast-paced offense. After taking Dean Sanders down repeatedly, getting him disoriented and frustrated, Paul Canyon nails him with a DDT, then brings in Owen Addison, who comes in onto the back of Dean Sanders's neck with a slingshot legdrop, then covers for two and a half. He wears out Dean Sanders for a few minutes with more attacks to the neck, getting a few near falls after some suplexes, then tags in Paul Canyon and goes for the Tombstone, intending to set up the Magic Carpet Ride as Paul Canyon goes up top. But Dean Sanders slides out behind, then pushes Owen Addison into the ropes, causing Paul Canyon to fall crotch-first onto the turnbuckle. Owen Addison staggers back, into a German suplex, and Dean Sanders staggers over to his corner and tags in Bass Rogers.

Bass Rogers wades into the fray like a human siege engine. Owen Addison gets up, but takes a massive lariat that nearly seperates his head from his shoulders. Paul Canyon begins to get up on the turnbuckle again, but Bass Rogers grabs him and throws him down in a Gorilla Press! He picks Owen Addison up and tosses him out of the ring, then whips Paul Canyon into a turnbuckle, and follows him in with a crushing avalanche! Paul Canyon staggers out... and Bass Rogers grabs him, and folds him up with a STIFF power bomb!! Bass Rogers hooks the leg, and gets the three count!

Both sides are given some a brief period to regroup, and Owen Addison's starting off again, as is Bass Rogers, for the second fall!

Bass Rogers is still fired up, and charges immediately, right into a drop-toe hold from Owen Addison, who floats over into a side headlock. Bass Rogers breaks the headlock easily, but is infuriated and careless, and charges into several more dropkicks and takedowns from Owen Addison. He may be expending too much energy, wearing himself out early... and Owen Addison takes him down with a savate kick and goes for the pin, but only gets two before Bass Rogers kicks out with authority.

Owen Addison continues to work over Bass Rogers, with a series of dropkicks, a reverse neckbreaker, a DDT, and a jumping neck snap, and finally it looks like he's been slowed down a little. Owen Addison makes the tag to Paul Canyon, who goes to the top as Bass Rogers gets up, and nails him with a flying bulldog. Paul Canyon continues to assault Bass Rogers with swift offense, and now he's not getting up so quickly. But when Paul Canyon attempts a flying cross bodypress, Bass Rogers catches him out of the air and powerslams him, getting two and nine-tenths!

Bass Rogers tags in Dean Sanders, who begins dishing out a stiff beating to Paul Canyon. After bringing him down repeatedly with suplexes, Dean Sanders gives Paul Canyon a power bomb and goes for the cover, but again he kicks out at two and nine-tenths. Dean Sanders goes to the top, looking for the flying elbowdrop, but Paul Canyon moves, and Dean Sanders wipes out on the mat, as Paul Canyon rolls over and tags in Owen Addison.

Owen Addison comes in and immediately nails Dean Sanders with a swift kick to the midsection, then gives him a piledriver. He goes for the cover, but Bass Rogers comes in and breaks the pin. Paul Canyon comes in to even things up, driving Bass Rogers into the corner with a dropkick, as Owen Addison takes Dean Sanders down with a brain buster. The two members of the Ontario Color Show both take Bass Rogers and whip him into the ropes, then nail him with a double dropkick. He staggers back and falls back on the ropes, not going out of the ring, but then Paul Canyon gets on his hands and knees, and Owen Addison runs and springs off his back, nailing Bass Rogers with a massive dropkick square in the chest that sends him spilling out of the ring!

Dean Sanders, meanwhile, pulls Paul Canyon up and gives him a stiff punch to the jaw, then tosses him out of the ring as well... but turns right around into Owen Addison, who picks him up in a gutwrench... TOMBSTONE!! Dean Sanders just got planted in the middle of the ring, and Owen Addison's alone in there with him! He goes for the cover, and gets three!

They're even on falls, and after a brief regrouping period, once again the match is continued, and once again Owen Addison and Bass Rogers start off.

As before, Owen Addison nails Bass Rogers with a lot of quick offensive moves, taking him down repeatedly, and taking shots at his neck whenever he can. Even Bass Rogers's powerful neck might be starting to feel the effects now, but more importantly, Bass Rogers is looking tired. He's starting to suck wind pretty badly, and his own exertions may have taken more of a toll on him than the Ontario Color Show's offense. But that doesn't stop him from ducking a savate kick, and nearly decapitating Owen Addison with a lariat.

Bass Rogers tags in Dean Sanders, who goes right on the attack against Owen Addison. He hits a few more ugly chest chops, and by now Owen Addison's chest is bright pink and bleeding in spots. As Owen convulses in pain, Dean Sanders begins working on his knee again, and for a few minutes, he focuses on it with intense focus. After this intensive attack, he drills Owen Addison with a power bomb... but instead of going for the cover, he grabs his legs, and puts on the Figure-Four Leglock! Owen Addison struggles, not wanting to give up, and eventually turns it over... in the process making it within reach of his corner, where he tags in Paul Canyon. Paul Canyon goes to the top turnbuckle... and executes the Magic Carpet Ride on the back of Dean Sanders! Paul Canyon rolls Dean Sanders over and goes for the pin... but Bass Rogers comes in and breaks it up with a big elbowdrop.

Dean Sanders crawls to his corner and tags in Bass Rogers, and here he comes! Bass Rogers runs in, and mows down Paul Canyon with a shoulderblock! Owen Addison comes in and hits him with a dropkick, but it just bounces right off of his chest! Bass Rogers lifts Owen Addison up in a Gorilla Press, and throws him down on top of Paul Canyon, then executes a big splash on the whole mass! Bass Rogers picks Owen Addison up, and whips him into the turnbuckle. He charges in with an avalanche, but Owen moves, and Bass Rogers collides with the turnbuckle! Owen Addison nails him with a savate kick, somewhat weakened by the condition of his leg, and Bass Rogers spills out of the ring!

Meanwhile Dean Sanders is brawling with Paul Canyon, but he doesn't see that he's alone in the ring now. Owen Addison comes from behind and drops him with an inverted DDT, then goes up top, a little slowly due to his bad knee, as Paul Canyon puts Dean Sanders on his shoulders. Owen Addison comes off the top, and nails Dean Sanders with the elevated flying somersault neckbreaker! Dean Sanders is down and out... but Bass Rogers is back in the ring, gasping and wheezing like a steam engine, and he mows down Paul Canyon with a lariat!! Owen Addison turns around... and Bass Rogers gives him a swift kick to the midsection, and grabs him... POWER BOMB!! And now he's going up to the top turnbuckle... a little slowly, but I don't think Owen's going anywhere... and he hits the Moonsault!! He hooks a leg... and the referee informs him that Paul Canyon's the legal man.

Bass Rogers gets up, but even that looks like it's an effort for him now. He's sucking wind, and barely moving now; it's obvious the tank's empty at this point. He turns around, looking for Paul Canyon... just in time to see him climb to the top turnbuckle, and come off with a flying dropkick!! Paul Canyon knocks Bass Rogers off his feet with a flying dropkick, and goes for the pin... and gets three!!

Two out of Three Falls Match:
The Ontario Color Show defeated Stiff Competition 2 falls to 1:
----- x B. Rogers beat P. Canyon via a power bomb in 0:15:31
----- x O. Addison beat D. Sanders via the Tombstone in 0:24:15
----- x P. Canyon beat B. Rogers via a flying dropkick in 0:31:09
Rating: *** 1/2

Bass Rogers and Dean Sanders roll out of the ring, both having taken a massive amount of punishment. In the end, Bass Rogers taxed his stamina to the limit, and ran out of intensity... he still doesn't seem all that shaken up from the actual attacks of the Ontario Color Show. Paul Canyon and Owen Addison are the winners here, but the welts covering their bodies and the fact that Owen Addison's walking with a severe limp are evidence that Stiff Competition put up one hell of a fight going down. After a brief celebration in the ring, the Ontario Color Show are heading backstage, secure in the knowledge that they're now the undisputed top contenders for the VCW World Tag Team Titles.

"War Pigs" by Black Sabbath just the arena sound system, and the crowd erupts into cheers as David Wright Hubbard and Scott Hall make their way to the ring. David Wright Hubbard's limping badly, but he doesn't seem the least bit hesitant or worried about the match that's coming up. With all due respect, however, he probably should be... Crimson and "Macho Man" Randy Savage are two guys that are dangerous even to a healthy man. With only one leg to stand on, David Wright Hubbard's at a severe disadvantage here. Scott Hall has a microphone... and it looks like he has about four or five drinks in him, too.

S. Hall: Hey, yo.

The crowd cheers loudly.

S. Hall: It's survey time again. How many of you people want to see Scott Hall and D.W. lay down for Crimson and the Nacho Man tonight!?

The crowd responds with a vast majority of boos.

S. Hall: And how many people want to see Scott Hall snap into the Nacho Man one more time!?

The crowd begins cheering.

S. Hall: Survey says... one more... for the good guys.

D.W. Hubbard: Crimson... you big gutless son of a bitch... I ain't gonna wait until Wrestlewar to beat your sorry ass. Get your big punk ass out here, right now.

"Walk" by Pantera is playing now, and here come Crimson and "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Crimson's wearing the VCW World Title... and he's also carrying a microphone.

Crimson: You know something, Hubbard? I don't like your attitude, boy. And just for getting sassy with me, I'm gonna make sure you don't even make it to Wrestlewar. I'm gonna kick your ass!

Crimson and Randy Savage hit the ring, and begin brawling with David Wright Hubbard and Scott Hall! A referee's in the ring, calling for the bell, and we've got a main event match!

Crimson & "Macho Man" Randy Savage

vs.

David Wright Hubbard & Scott Hall

The referee orders two men to leave the ring, and Crimson starts out with David Wright Hubbard, dominating him due to his ailing knee and reduced mobility. But after a few minutes of absorbing heavy punches and slams from Crimson, David Wright Hubbard fires back, rocking him with a series of punches! Crimson is stunned, and David Wright Hubbard sends him to the ropes... then runs him over with a lariat! Crimson just got knocked off his feet by a big Texas lariat, and he's not happy about it one bit!

Crimson tags in Randy Savage, and he and David Wright Hubbard renew their old animosity, brawling for a few minutes. Savage takes the upper hand for a while, but things spill out of the ring and David Wright Hubbard regains it there, taking Savage head-first into several foreign objects, then bringing him back in the ring. David Wright Hubbard brings in Scott Hall, who eagerly works over Randy Savage for a few minutes, but gets caught with a low blow. Both men make tags, bringing in Crimson and David Wright Hubbard, who begin going at it furiously again... but David Wright Hubbard's knee is starting to catch up to him now, and it's becoming evident he can barely stand. Crimson brings him down and begins pummelling him, then tags in Savage, and for a few minutes both men take turns tagging in and beating the crap out of David Wright Hubbard. But Savage's attempt at the Flying Elbowdrop misses, and David Wright Hubbard makes the tag to Scott Hall, as Savage tags in Crimson.

Scott Hall comes in like a house of fire, as they say, and ducks a few massive swings from Crimson, then returns fire with his own. Savage comes in, but Hall deals with him as well, sending him to the outside where David Wright Hubbard attacks him. Scott Hall amazingly holds his own with the monster Crimson, hitting him with some of the traditional Scott Hall offense like the fallaway slam. But as the fight rages on, Jack Norman and Butch Manson come out of the backstage area, and they're pushing... a coffin!? Jack Norman and Butch Manson just pushed a coffin to ringside... but what's this all about!? Are they going to put David Wright Hubbard or Scott Hall in there!?

Now Jack Norman and Butch Manson are leaving, but back in the ring, Scott Hall just ducked a lariat from Crimson, which unfortunately nicked the referee, sending him down... and he nails him with a kick to the groin as he turns around! Crimson doubles over... and Scott Hall puts him in a standing headscissors, and signals for the Crucifix Power Bomb! Can he get him up!? HE CAN!! But the coffin's opening! Scott Hall has Crimson up for the Crucifix Power Bomb, but Dick Douglas just crawled out of the coffin behind him, and slithered into the ring with a crowbar in hand... and he nails Scott Hall in the knee with it! The crowd erupts in boos!! Damn it, Scott Hall had him!!

Scott Hall drops Crimson, and doubles over in pain, and Dick Douglas rolls out of the ring and retreats backstage, as Crimson lands on his feet behind Scott Hall. Scott Hall turns around... and Crimson grabs his throat!! CHOKESLAM!! Randy Savage has David Wright Hubbard occupied on the outside of the ring, and Crimson's going for the cover! And damn it, the referee's back up, and Crimson gets the three count!!

Crimson and Randy Savage defeated David Wright Hubbard and Scott Hall when Crimson pinned Hall with the Chokeslam in 0:08:35.
Rating: 1/4*

The VCW World Champion just claimed another victim... but he's not done! He picks Scott Hall up, and gives him a second Chokeslam! But on the outside, David Wright Hubbard just sent Randy Savage into the ringsteps, and he's climbing inside! He's going after Crimson... but he's not quick enough... he can barely stand, and Crimson catches him with a big boot as he comes in! Crimson picks David Wright Hubbard up... and drills him with a jack-knife power bomb!! But he's picking him up again, by the throat... CHOKESLAM!! David Wright Hubbard just got the Chokeslam as well, and Crimson's picking him up... HE DOES IT AGAIN!! He wasn't kidding when he said David Wright Hubbard wouldn't make it to Wrestlewar! And now he's bending down to do it again...

Hold up, the lights went out, and the new lights are a dim silvery-blue color!! The bell and opening guitar riffs of "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica are heard, and then nothing else, as the crowd explodes into cheers!! Troy Black's coming down the aisle! But he wasn't even supposed to be here! We thought he was at home, recovering from Deck the Halls! He enters the ring, and Crimson rushes him! Crimson takes a swing at him, but Troy Black ducks! Kick to the midsection! Double arm DDT!! He's going up... BLACK DAGGER!! Troy Black just drove the Black Dagger through Crimson's throat, and the crowd's going crazy! Crimson's flat on his back! The VCW World Champion is laid out!

The damage may have already been done, though. Troy Black's checking on David Wright Hubbard and Scott Hall... they could have broken backs or necks. They're not moving... BUT CRIMSON IS!! How in the hell is Crimson getting up!? He's up behind Troy Black, and he's positively enraged! His face has an inhuman grimace on it, and veins are bulging in his neck and arms... Troy Black turns around, and Crimson nearly takes his head off with a big boot! The crowd is booing and raining trash down on the ring like last night, and Crimson picks Troy up... CHOKESLAM!! And he picks him up again... and gives him another one!! And yet again... he nails him AGAIN!! Three Chokeslams from Crimson on Troy Black, and now he's carrying Troy over to the edge of the ring... AND HE CHOKESLAMS HIM DOWN INTO THE COFFIN!! Troy Black is motionless inside that coffin that Hell's Bikers brought to the ring, and Crimson shuts the lid and locks it, and now he's dragging it away! Crimson has left a trail of destruction behind him, and the crowd's booing deafeningly and pelting him with trash as he leaves! What's he going to do with the coffin containing Troy Black!? We won't find out yet, because we're out of time! Join us next Monday!!

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