Monday Night Wrestling 01/22/01 (VCW 104)
Welcome once again to the hottest wrestling show in the world, VCW Monday Night Wrestling!! We're coming to you straight out of the America West Arena in Arizona, and we've got what should be an excellent show for you tonight!! We've got several great matches lined up for tonight. The VCW Television Title and the VCW Intercontinental Title will both be on the line, and we've got a lot more for you as well. But right now, we've got to get ready, because there's a match on the way right now!!
A cheesy, energetic eighties heavy metal song begins playing, and here comes Russel "The Muscle" Taylor. He seems enthusiastic enough, slapping the palms of the fans and smiling as he jogs to the ring, then slides inside, but he's got quite a task ahead of him in this opening match...
"Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins playing over the arena sound system, and now Russel Taylor looks a little worried, as that task becomes apparent to him. Devaccio Pola steps out of the backstage area, wearing his "GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE... I KILL PEOPLE" T-shirt, and staring down the aisle at Russel Taylor like a bloodthirsty shark, with a vicious grin on his face. He stalks down the aisle and steps into the ring. The newest VCW referee, Brendan Powers, is here to officiate, and this match is about to begin...
Devaccio Pola
vs.
Russel "The Muscle" Taylor
A series of stiff kicks are quickly followed by a massive kick to the midsection, then the Guillotine Kick. Devaccio Pola covers Russel Taylor for the academic three-count in less time than the entrances took.
Devaccio
Pola pinned Russel Taylor with the Guillotine Kick in 0:00:20.
Rating: 1/4*
At least poor Russel was put out of his misery quickly. But wait... "Stormbringer" by Deep Purple just started playing over the arena sound system!! That's Chris Champlain's entrance music!! Devaccio Pola turns and faces the backstage entrance, awaiting Chris Champlain's arrival... he's actually eager to fight Chris Champlain!! But Chris Champlain just slid out from under the ring, behind him... and he's got an iron mace!! Chris Champlain stalks up behind Devaccio Pola... Devaccio Pola turns around... and Chris Champlain just KILLED him with that mace!! Devaccio Pola is laid out, his forehead busted open hardway from that massive blow, and Chris Champlain's standing over him... and he drives the mace RIGHT down into his gut!! Devaccio Pola convulses reflexively, but he was already knocked unconscious by that first massive blow.
Devaccio Pola is still down, and Chris Champlain's on top of him, hooking his legs, then crawling across... stepover toehold facelock by Chris Champlain!! Devaccio Pola's unconscious, and Chris Champlain's putting him in the STF!! And he won't let go!! Chris Champlain keeps the hold on for quite some time, ignoring the somewhat halfhearted protests of referee Brendan Powers, who eventually shrugs and walks away. Devaccio Pola is still out, and completely unable to counter or escape the STF in any way... he could be in there for a LONG time, by the look of things. And Chris Champlain's showing no signs of letting go... but here comes the H.A.R.P. Squad. Finally!! It took them long enough, but the H.A.R.P. Squad hits the ring and gathers around Chris Champlain, finally pulling him off and dragging him, kicking and squirming, away from the fallen body of Devaccio Pola. A medical team is out for Devaccio Pola, and he may need some serious care... he was bludgeoned with an iron mace, then put in the STF for well over a minute.
As the medical team takes Devaccio Pola backstage, "Smells Like Nirvana" by Weird Al Yankovic begins playing over the arena sound system, bringing forth Hunk Higgins and Ruby Richard Cage, the Middle-Aged Outlaws, along with their manager "The Pest of the West" Jesse Smark. As usual, Hunk Higgins is playing air guitar, off-beat to the music, while Ruby Richard Cage staggers around in a somewhat spastic manner, occasionally high-fiving a fan. Strangely, these two have been on quite a winning streak lately, despite a total lack of effort or ability on their part. Tonight, they'll see if they can continue their winning ways against a team that has not yet been announced.
They enter the ring, and Ruby Richard Cage spins around, pointing to the crowd, then makes the Ruby Cutter sign to a pathetic, fizzling burst of pyro, as Hunk Higgins rips off his shirt and begins flexing his muscles, then puts his hand to his ear to listen to the crowd's reaction, which is a bunch of disinterested boos. As the fanfare surrounding their entrance dies down, Ruby Richard Cage grabs a microphone.
R.R. Cage: Dudes and dudettes, cats and chicks, and all you little kids out there, the baby boomer generation proudly brings to you the future ONE-TIME! ONE-TIME! ONE-TIME! ... VCW TAG team CHAMPIONS of the WOOOORRRLD... "The Immortal" Hunk Higgins... Ruby Richard Cage... the MIDDLE-AGED OUTLAWS!!!
H. Higgins: And brother, if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya... TOUGH CRAP!!
The crowd halfheartedly boos.
R.R. Cage: Tonight, the M-A-O are on a roll, bro, and we're gonna keep rolling right on through against our opponents tonight. I don't know about you, big man, but I'm JACKED TO THE MOON tonight!!
H. Higgins: Well, ya know somethin', Mister Cage, I was hanging and banging in the gym, while all of the girls in red and yellow bikinis stopped and stared at my forty-two inch ANACONDAS, brother, when I suddenly got an idea. All throughout my career, I've been known for chopping down every obstacle in my path, and everyone's known that Hunkamania is the strongest force in the universe, brother... so at Wrestlewar III, I'm gonna make history, brother. I'm calling out the so-called biggest, strongest men in VCW, Big Trouble, for a match at Wrestlewar, and I'm gonna chop them down to size and break them in half, brother. So if George Gonzalez and Ron Reese have the guts, we'll put the titles on the line, and beat them within an inch of their life at Wrestlewar. So Big Trouble, what'cha gonna do when Hunkamania, the big man Ruby Richard Cage, and the forty-two inch ANACONDAS RUN WILD ON YOU!?!?
That promises to be a terrible match, but may be a decent break during which to get popcorn or take a small nap. But now Ruby Richard Cage has the microphone.
R.R. Cage: But before that, tonight, we're hooking it up with a different enemy. Tonight... we're hooking it up with the PUBLIC Enemy.
What!? "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd explodes into boos as the Public Enemy, Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge, come out of the backstage area, carrying a table. They begin waving their arms, trying to work the crowd, but they only get a small, lukewarm response amidst a drone of disgusted boos and groans. What're they doing here!? Shouldn't they be retired!? Did someone in the financial office actually PAY these two losers to come here!?!? Whatever the case, they're entering the ring, and here comes VCW referee Linda Peterson to officiate... this is a match, and it's about to begin now!!
Middle-Aged Outlaws
w/Jesse Smark
vs.
Public Enemy
The Public Enemy dominate this match, beating up their pathetic, over-the-hill opponents. Eventually, two tables are set up, one on the outside of the ring, and one on the inside. Rocko Rock puts Hunk Higgins on the one on the outside, and puts him through the table with a somersault senton, but inside the ring, Johnny Grunge's attempt to slam Ruby Richard Cage through the table is countered with a sloppy Ruby Cutter through the table (with Ruby Richard Cage actually taking the brunt of the bump). Nevertheless, Ruby Richard Cage covers Johnny Grunge for the pin before Rocko Rock can get back in the ring and make the save.
The
Middle-Aged Outlaws defeated The Public Enemy when R.R.C. pinned
Grunge with the Ruby Cutter in 0:03:53.
Rating: -***
Somehow, the Middle-Aged Outlaws have triumphed yet again!! Their winning streak continues, and they head backstage, celebrating this victory, along with Jesse Smark. The Public Enemy get to their feet a few moments later, and leave the ring as the crowd boos and chants "JOBBER" at them.
Wait just a second!! We've just received word that cameras are backstage in Troy Black's locker room, where something interesting's about to go down... let's go backstage right now, courtesy of the Big Brother Production Team!!
Backstage...
Troy Black is sitting backstage in his locker room, looking through his travel bag, when the door suddenly opens, and Falcon steps in. Troy Black's eyes narrow and his fists clench as he stands up and approaches Falcon, but Falcon takes a step back quickly, not wanting a confrontation.
Falcon: Listen, I know these past few weeks have been bad... and I didn't come here to start trouble. But I have to tell you something.
Troy Black's hostile expression doesn't fade much, but he backs up and sits down again.
T. Black: Go ahead. I'm listening.
Falcon: Now, first off, I swear I didn't have anything to do with this... but when I looked at the booking sheets tonight, I found out that I'm working the main event, in a tag team match against Tony Garcia and Lance Errington... and you're my partner.
Troy Black sighs, as a disgusted look comes across his face.
T. Black: The last thing I wanted to do tonight was be your tag team partner. Maybe you'll understand that I'm not in the mood for this.
Falcon: Yeah, I'm not real thrilled about it either. But you know how much the front office loves us right now, so it doesn't surprise me much. Listen to me... I'm just here to tell you one thing. Now... my back's messed up, and there was some funny business last week with Erica and a pair of brass knuckles... so let me just tell you this. This is NOT the time for you to take some sort of stupid attitude problem and walk out on me. Let's just put everything aside tonight, and work together well for once in our lives. Is that okay with you?
T. Black: First of all, I've had a gang of people trying to beat me to death and bury me alive over the past few weeks. Don't tell me about your problems, because I'm not impressed, and I don't care. But I'd rather get my hands on Tony Garcia tonight than you... so you can count on me. But I've already got a long enough list of enemies... and I don't want you to give me any reason to add your name to the list.
A brief awkward silence follows, as Falcon meets Troy Black's stare... but nothing comes of it before Falcon speaks.
Falcon: I won't. At least until we take care of business in the match. ... See you later.
Falcon turns and walks out of the room, and Troy Black stares after him briefly, then returns to checking his travel bag.
The tension still hasn't lessened any between those two, and it probably never will... but will their hatred of Lance Errington and Tony Garcia be enough to unite them as a tag team tonight? And even if it is, can they get the job done in that tag team match? Falcon's been suffering from a back injury lately, and Troy Black's still far from a hundred percent after taking a vicious beating at the hands of Tony Garcia and Lorenzo Vasquez last week. Unless they can really work well together as a team, they could be easy pickings for Lance Errington and Tony Garcia tonight.
"Talk Dirty To Me" by Poison is playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd cheers as Marty Jannetty comes out of the backstage area. He's going it alone tonight, because his tag team partner, Lars Coverdale, has an Intercontinental Title shot at Julian Page tonight. Marty Jannetty has the somewhat lower-profile task of facing "Double R" Rex Richards tonight... but this may be more of a challenge for him tonight than one would think; Rex Richards has been rather impressive since his return a few weeks ago. Marty Jannetty enters the ring and begins headbanging and playing air guitar for the crowd, then grabs a microphone.
M. Jannetty: What's up, dudes and dudettes!? Tonight, the super awesome other half of the Heavy Metal Express, Lars Coverdale, is taking the VCW Intercontinental Title home... but first, I'm Marty Jannetty, and I'm here to ROCK YOUR WORLD!!!
The crowd cheers.
M. Jannetty: But I have to tell you... this match'll probably blow you away... except for the parts about "you" and "away". Because they stuck me in here with this bogus geek, Rex Richards, who can't decide between Triple H and the Godfather for whose gimmick he wants to steal. But even though it's been scientifically proven that Rex Richards totally blows chunks, I'll make this quick, then it's time to get rockin', because me and his three women are gonna party all night long!!
The crowd cheers, but begins booing again as "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye begins playing over the arena sound system, bringing out "Double R" Rex Richards, along with Minako, Sophie, and Komachi. They stop at the top of the entrance ramp, and the three women perform an impressive karate display, then Rex Richards grabs a microphone as they step back to hang off of him, stroking his muscles and hair.
R. Richards: You think you could handle my three scandalous females!? I'll tell you what... you couldn't even handle ONE of them, because they all know karate!! And you damn sure can't handle me. You think you're some kind of punk rocker!? Well, maybe you are a punk, but the only rock I see is the one sitting up on top of your shoulders! And you want to step up to the plate... to go one-on-one... with Double R!? Buddy, you're about to get yours, and that's all I've got to say.
The three women help Rex Richards take off his glittery golden robe, then he takes off his sunglasses and hangs them in the abundant cleavage presented by Minako's tight tank top. He's heading to the ring now, and climbs inside. No posing or anything this time... he's getting right down to business, going straight after Marty Jannetty, as VCW referee Bobcat McGavin enters the ring to officiate the match!
"Double R" Rex
Richards
w/Minako, Sophie, & Komachi
vs.
"The Heartbreak Dude" Marty Jannetty
Marty Jannetty has somewhat of an edge in technical ability and quickness in this match, but it's countered by Rex Richards's greater size and power. Marty Jannetty nevertheless manages to come back from Rex Richards's bursts of offense, and makes a big comeback, getting a near fall from a Rocker Dropper. He stands back and measures Rex Richards for the Sweet Chin Music, but Minako grabs his foot and stops him. Marty Jannetty pulls his foot free, but the distraction enables Rex Richards to plant him with a kick to the midsection, then hit the DDT and make the cover for the pin.
Rex
Richards pinned Marty Jannetty with the DDT in 0:07:03.
Rating: 1/2*
Rex Richards has just stolen another victory, and his three female companions enter the ring to celebrate with him. Marty Jannetty's getting up, holding his head, and Rex Richards is going over to him... and he helps him up!? Rex Richards just helped Marty Jannetty up, and now he's going for a microphone... and he has one!
R. Richards: Marty... I have to give you credit. You gave me a tough match there, buddy... and me and the girls were thinking that maybe you should get to party with us after all. What do you think, people!? Should Marty get down with me and my scandalous females tonight!?
The crowd cheers, and Marty Jannetty, despite the somewhat unfair manner in which he lost that match, seems happy to drop any lingering grudges in the face of that invitation. "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye begins playing again, and a reddish gold spotlight bathes the ring, as Rex Richards begins flexing his muscles, showing off a highly impressive physique. Marty begins posing right along with him, making several trademark Shawn Michaels poses, as Minako, Sophie, and Komachi line up in front of him.
Minako steps forward and gives Marty a quick kiss on the cheek, then steps to the side, blushing and batting her eyelashes as she looks at Marty. Sophie steps forward next, and throws herself onto him enthusiastically, wrapping her arms around him and practically inhaling his mouth, only to be pulled away and scolded by Rex Richards and Minako, which causes her to grow pouty and step away, folding her arms across her chest and looking away. Marty seems a little upset that Sophie was pulled away... but his attention gets diverted away, as Komachi steps in front of him. Marty leans forward to kiss her too... AND GETS BLUE MIST SPIT IN HIS FACE!! Komachi just spit the blue mist in Marty's face, and he's holding his eyes and staggering blindly. Rex Richards hooks him again... DDT!! Rex Richards just gave him another DDT!! Now he's laughing at Marty Jannetty, and he begins stomping away at him!! Minako and Komachi join in, but Sophie's still standing off to the side, pouting. The crowd boos loudly, angry at seeing Marty Jannetty betrayed.
Marty Jannetty's still getting stomped into the mat... but someone's coming out of the backstage area!! It's Salvaje Demonio, and he's got a chair!! He slides into the ring... Rex Richards turns to face him, and gets chaired in the head, and goes down!! Komachi throws a punch at Salvaje Demonio, but he blocks with the chair, and Komachi begins holding her fist in pain... and she narrowly ducks another swing of the chair! Rex Richards and his female cohorts all roll out of the ring and begin retreating up the aisle, as Salvaje Demonio checks on Marty Jannetty. He was the first victim of Komachi's blue mist when Rex Richards made his debut again, and he's been a thorn in the side of Rex Richards for these past few weeks!!
Rex Richards and the ladies retreat backstage, and Salvaje Demonio helps Marty Jannetty to his feet, and begins helping to guide him backstage, to a small pop from the crowd. Rex Richards got the victory, but fortunately Salvaje Demonio was on hand to stop the unprovoked post-match attack from Rex Richards and his female accomplices. This is the second time that Salvaje Demonio has driven Rex Richards out of the ring, and you have to believe Rex Richards is probably getting pretty tired of it...
We saw a little T & A a few minutes ago, when Rex Richards's female accomplices were out here... but now we could see a lot more. "It's A Little Too Late" by Tanya Tucker is playing, and here comes Leslie Edwards, dressed in a somewhat cheap-looking evening gown. She's the challenger tonight in an Evening Gown Match against reigning VCW T & A Champion Jasmina Chastity. The crowd gives her a mild round of cheers as she comes to the ring; she's not one of the more popular members of the T & A Division.
But now "Return To Innocence" by Enigma begins playing over the arena sound system, and here comes Jasmina Chastity, wearing an elegant, but not very revealing evening gown, along with the VCW T & A Title. She's accompanied by Jessica Judd... who's carrying a guitar, and still has a miraculously regrown full head of long brown hair. How she did that is one of the unexplainable mysteries hanging over VCW, but it's certainly not due to that nonsensical story about her uncle, "Moonshine" Marshall Judd. The two women hug briefly, and now Jasmina's entering the ring, and Jerry Rogers is the lucky referee for this match as it begins now!
For the VCW T & A Title:
Leslie Edwards
vs.
Jasmina Chastity
w/Jessica Judd
Jasmina Chastity stalls for a while, avoiding Leslie's attempts at ripping off her gown, and finally rolls to the outside, and grabs a microphone. What the hell is this all about!? There's a match going on, and she's stopping to grab a microphone!
J. Chastity: Listen, Leslie... I think you know as well as I do that this is stupid and degrading. We're just trying to rip each other's clothes off to satisfy a bunch of male perverts jacking off in front of their TV screens. This title isn't worth our dignity, so I'm suggesting we just throw it in the trash right now and walk out with our clothes on and our heads held high.
Leslie Edwards is stopping and watching Jasmina as she speaks, despite the boos of the crowd; she seems to be giving her words some thought. But Jessica Judd's in the ring behind her, with the guitar!! Leslie Edwards is distracted by Jasmina's words... and Jessica drills her with the guitar!! Jerry Rogers saw that blatantly, but there are no disqualifications in an Evening Gown Match! Jasmina Chastity quickly scrambles into the ring, and she and Jessica Judd work together to strip Leslie Edwards's gown off, stripping her down to a white bra and pair of panties, and winning the match.
Evening
Gown Match:
Jasmina Chastity defeated Leslie Edwards in 0:02:24.
Rating: -****
(Jasmina Chastity retained the VCW T & A Title.)
Jessica Judd and Jasmina Chastity exchange another brief hug in the ring, and now Jasmina's reclaiming the VCW T & A Title, and they're leaving the ring together. Jessica Judd's challenge to Jennie for a match at Wrestlewar still stands unanswered, but that's another story. After Jessica Judd and Jasmina Chastity have stepped backstage, Leslie Edwards follows, getting up slowly while clutching her head, and staggering backstage in her bra and panties to a few scattered cheers and catcalls from the crowd.
Coming up next, we've got an eight-man tag team match, as Robert Danson, Salvaje Demonio, and Stiff Competition team up to face "Doctor" Dave Adams, Main Street Pete, and Big Trouble. "Calling Dr. Love" by KISS begins playing first, bringing out Dave Adams, Main Street Pete, and Big Trouble, along with Stormy Weathers and Nurse Vivacia. They all come to the ring, and Stormy Weathers grabs a microphone, drawing instant boos and groans from the crowd.
S. Weathers: Howdy, folks! Ol' Stormy's back, and I'd just like to tell y'all something. That old man Hunk Higgins wants a piece of Jorge Gonzalez and Ron Reese!? Ol' Stormy's boys are gonna kill that wrinkled-up old has-been! I already stole his girlfriend and beat the living crap out of him once, and I damn sure know that Big Trouble can give him more than he can handle!! Now how do y'all like that!?
The crowd boos loudly; they're not at all enthusiastic for a match between Big Trouble and the Middle-Aged Outlaws.
S. Weathers: Well, to hell with all you people, then!! Ol' Stormy couldn't give a hill of beans if y'all up and died!! Y'all can kiss ol' Stormy's ass!! But right now, I'm gonna direct your attention on over to a man who's got something to say to all the ladies here, "Doctor" Dave Adams!!
The crowd boos as Dave Adams takes the microphone, knowing that they've just traded one babbling idiot for another.
D. Adams: Before we beat Stiff Competition, Dumbass Danson, and the Salsa Kid tonight... I've just got a few things to say to all the ladies here in Arizona. Living here under the desert sun, you ladies know all about heat, and sweating... but as you sit here, blinded by the light of my illuminating magnetism, I can promise you that if you're in heat, the Doctor can come in and make a house call, and make a few heatstrokes of my own with my hands against your body. And when I make you wet, it'll be more than just sweat, it'll be the most sensational sexual thrill you've ever had, running up and down your spine, as you find out personally that there's just no other man who can bring the pleasure like I can... and that's a fact.
But as you're lying there in bed, your body dripping with sweat, and your pleasure builds upon itself until it sends your soul spinning across the sands of time and space, I'll bring your level of satisfaction so high that you never come down. And as your body lies there, quivering with the pulsing shocks of decadent sensation, your mind will overload as the passion explodes to levels you never imagined were possible. I'll take you to a land where I am the Emperor of ecstasy, and you willingly surrender yourself to me forever in mind, body, and soul. You won't ever want to leave, but just remember... I can take you there. Yes... oh yes, I can take you there. So ladies, brace yourselves for the coming of the orgasmic overlord, and the pleasures that I'm going to bestow on each and every one of you.
Huh? Even Jorge Gonzalez, Ron Reese, and Stormy Weathers are giving Dave Adams a weird look after that, though Main Street Pete and Nurse Vivacia seem to be used to it by now. As the audience stops briefly to try to figure out what Dave Adams is talking about, "War Machine" by KISS begins playing over the arena sound system, and here come Stiff Competition, along with Salvaje Demonio and Robert Danson, accompanied by Nicole. Seeing that Stormy Weathers and Dave Adams have already wasted enough time talking, they're not bothering to exchange words with their opponents... they're entering the ring, and this match is underway! Brendan Powers is your referee, and the match is on!
Stiff Competition,
Robert Danson, & Salvaje Demonio
w/Nicole
vs.
Big Trouble,
"Doctor" Dave Adams, & Main Street Pete
w/Nurse Vivacia & Stormy
Weathers
In the beginning of this match, the massive power of Bass Rogers and the wrestling proficiency of Robert Danson, Dean Sanders, and Salvaje Demonio is enough to keep Dave Adams and Main Street Pete off-guard, but when Ron Reese is tagged in, it's a different story. Despite some fairly successful hit-and-run tactics, eventually Dean Sanders is caught by a massive blow from Ron Reese. Big Trouble, Dave Adams, and Main Street Pete take some time working Dean Sanders over, but eventually he fights his way out of a rear chinlock from Main Street Pete, and drills him with a spinebuster. He makes the tag to Salvaje Demonio, but that doesn't seem to matter to everyone else, because all the members of both teams run in for a giant brawl. As Robert Danson and Salvaje Demonio fight off their opponents with wrestling skill, Bass Rogers goes absolutely nuts and beats the crap out of everybody on the opposing team who gets in his way. Eventually, the ring is cleared save for Main Street Pete, who gets drilled in the center of the ring by a Bass Rogers power bomb. Robert Danson then comes off the top turnbuckle onto him with a flying legdrop, but things still aren't done; Salvaje Demonio goes up top after him and hits the Swandive Headbutt on Main Street Pete. Main Street Pete is down for the count, and Salvaje Demonio makes the pin for the three-count as his teammates stop all attenpts at outside interference.
Stiff
Competition, Robert Danson, and Salvaje Demonio defeated Big
Trouble, Dave Adams, and Main Street Pete when Demonio pinned
M.S. Pete with the Swandive Headbutt in 0:09:04.
Rating: -*
Main Street Pete's lifeless carcass is quickly tossed out of the ring, where Dave Adams and Nurse Vivacia reclaim it. They begin helping him backstage, along with Stormy Weathers and Big Trouble as Stiff Competition, Robert Danson, and Salvaje Demonio celebrate their victory in the ring for a little while, then head backstage, with the crowd still cheering as they depart.
The cheers come to a quick end as "Degenerated" by the Lone Rangers kicks on over the arena sound system, and Virginia comes out of the backstage area, carrying a clipboard. No doubt, she's here to throw her weight around and make more unfair matches. With Wrestlewar coming up in less than two weeks, she's going to take every opportunity she can get to screw over the opposition, and take them down a little bit at a time. She enters the ring and grabs the microphone, as the crowd boos loudly.
Virginia: Hey, everyone... it's time for your favorite part of the VCW shows... another little match-making session with me, the VCW Commissioner. We're going to keep this short, though... so I've only got a few things to say. The first thing has to do with something that happened last week, and something that'll happen later tonight. Johnny Smiles and Moy Lazzario just don't get it... it's not smart to poke fun at the Commissioner. So we'll just see how much fun they have in a handicap match against Arthur Justice and the Manhunters tonight!
Of course... more of the same from Virginia, putting Johnny Smiles and Moy Lazzario in an unfair predicament tonight. The crowd boos, but there's not much surprise there.
Virginia: But before that happens, you're going to see the VCW Television Title change hands, tonight. A lot of people have been calling for a shot at King Rasta to bring the belt back to VCW, so tonight, that's going to happen. It'll be King Rasta, taking on Tim Bell, "The Barcelona Assassin" Lorenzo Vasquez... and the number-one contender to the VCW Television Title, ME, in a single-elimination four-way match, with the VCW Television Title on the line! Get the participants out here, because that match takes place NOW!!
The crowd gives a mixed reaction... then begins cheering loudly as "Liquid Mercury" by Jimmy Page starts playing over the arena sound system, bringing out Ken Collins, along with Stacey Lockman. Ken Collins has a microphone.
K. Collins: I just heard you talking about that match, and I just heard that my name's not in it, when I probably deserve the shot more than anybody in that match. Do I need to remind you that I beat Lorenzo Vasquez just a few weeks ago? Do I need to remind you that I probably could've beaten King Rasta last week if you hadn't interfered in the match?
Virginia: Do I need to remind YOU that you're a pathetic nobody whose only claim to fame is putting on an evening gown and getting into a catfight with your tag team partner? Listen, Ken... you had your run with the title. But you lost it to King Rasta... you embarrassed our company on pay-per-view... and you won't get another title shot.
K. Collins: All I'm asking for is a fair rematch. I'll tell you what... I'll even challenge you for your spot in that match, right here, right now. You call yourself the number-one contender to the title? Let's see you prove you deserve it. Why don't you face me, right here, right now, to determine just who gets that spot in the four-way match.
Virginia: As much as I'd love to tear you apart right before I win the VCW Television Title, I won't get the chance. You don't even deserve a match with me. Now get out of my sight.
K. Collins: You know... I don't blame you for backing down from me. After all... I've got Stacey Lockman with me, and as we've seen on more than one occasion, you can't even beat her.
The crowd cheers, as they remember Virginia's loss to Stacey Lockman shortly before Blood and Thunder last year... and it's obvious that comment didn't sit well with Virginia either. She turns around, glaring at the crowd to try to shut them up, then looks back out at Ken and Stacey, anger brimming in her eyes.
Virginia: All right... you've got your match. You think you want to fight me? Get in here, and I'll tear you a new ass.
It seems that Virginia's resentment over losing to Stacey Lockman a few months ago is stronger than her unwillingness to fight Ken Collins, because the match has been accepted!! Ken Collins heads to the ring and climbs inside, as Bobcat McGavin steps into the ring and calls for the bell!
For a spot in the Four Way VCW Television Title Match:
"The California
Crippler" Ken Collins
w/Stacey Lockman
vs.
Virginia
Ken Collins starts off strongly, using his vastly superior wrestling ability against Virginia, taking her down repeatedly, then going to work on her arm. Through brawling tactics and power moves, Virginia keeps coming back, but Ken Collins usually regains control pretty easily with his technical wrestling ability. But as it looks like the match is slipping away from Virginia, Arthur Justice comes to ringside, and trips Ken Collins as he comes off the ropes, unseen by Bobcat McGavin. Virginia takes the advantage again, and begins assaulting Ken Collins, as Arthur Justice ignores Stacey Lockman's futile protests over his actions. Virginia takes Ken Collins out of the ring and continues to punish him, as Arthur Justice pulls out a table and sets it up. Once the table is set up, Virginia hoists Ken Collins up, then runs and drives him through the table with a running power bomb. She climbs back into the ring, and Arthur Justice rolls Ken Collins inside. Virginia goes for the cover... but only gets two and three-quarters!
Virginia begins sizing up Ken Collins for a big lariat as he stands up, but when she bounces off the ropes, Stacey Lockman trips her. Virginia immediately gets up and yells at Stacey Lockman, then orders Bobcat McGavin to evict her from ringside. Virginia turns around as Bobcat argues with Stacey... right into a kick to the midsection from Ken Collins, which is followed up by a single-arm DDT and a smooth transition into the California Crossface!! But Bobcat McGavin's still only paying attention to Stacey Lockman, and doesn't see Arthur Justice reach into the ring and pull Ken Collins out by his feet. Arthur Justice tries to give Ken Collins the Justifier on the outside of the ring, but Ken Collins counters it with a jawbreaker. He gets back up on the apron, but Virginia's up, and she staggers over to grab him... but he grabs her head and drops down, bringing her down throat-first across the ropes! Virginia goes down in the ring, but Ken Collins is back up instantly, and climbs to the top turnbuckle, just as Virginia gets up... FLYING DROPKICK!! Ken Collins knocked Virginia into next week with the Flying Dropkick, and Bobcat McGavin turns around after evicting Stacey Lockman, just in time to count to three!!
Ken
Collins pinned Virginia with the Flying Dropkick in 0:10:47.
Rating: * 1/2
Ken Collins has won the match, and he'll be going on to participate in the Four-Way Match for the VCW Television Title, instead of Virginia... but now Arthur Justice is climbing into the ring with a chair!! Ken Collins turns to look at him, just in time to get the chair smashed into his forehead!! Ken Collins is down, and Arthur Justice drops the chair, picks Ken Collins up, and puts him in the cobra clutch... JUSTIFIER ON THE CHAIR!! Ken Collins is laid out after taking the Justifier, and Arthur Justice is helping Virginia up. She rolls out of the ring, and grabs a microphone, looking less than pleased with the outcome of the match...
Virginia: You know... maybe it's true. I lost, and Ken Collins is in the VCW Television Title match. But without any further ado, let's get that match started right now!!
Wait, Ken Collins is laid out in the middle of the ring! They can't start it now... but that's exactly the point! Ken Collins won the match, but he's left flat on his back, and it seems like the VCW Television Champion will be whoever can crawl on top of his body and pin it first!! Virginia and Arthur Justice start heading to the back, as "Kiss My Ass" by Ted Nugent begins playing, drawing loud boos from the crowd, as "The Barcelona Assassin" Lorenzo Vasquez comes out of the backstage area and heads to the ring, along with Rebecca Black. He's trying to pin Ken Collins already, but Bobcat McGavin has left the ring, and the title match hasn't officially started yet! Instead, Lorenzo Vasquez gets back up, and picks up the chair... and begins repeatedly driving the edge of it into Ken Collins's arm!! He's trying to soften him up for the Barcelona Armbar, attacking him viciously with that chair before the match!!
But now "Through The Never" by Metallica just came on over the arena sound system, and Tim Bell's running to the ring! Tim Bell slides into the ring and starts to go after Lorenzo Vasquez... but Rebecca Black's holding his foot on the outside! Tim Bell pauses to free his foot... and Lorenzo Vasquez turns and nails him with the chair as well!! And now Lorenzo Vasquez is beating the hell out of Tim Bell with the chair as well!!
"Jungle Boogie" by Kool and the Gang hits the sound system next, bringing out King Rasta, wearing the VCW Television Title, and accompanied by Bobby the Monkey. King Rasta charges the ring and slides inside as well, and Rebecca Black's going to grab his foot.. but Bobby the Monkey comes from behind and pulls her away!! Lorenzo Vasquez turns around to face King Rasta, and gets a kick to the midsection, causing him to double over and drop the chair, then a massive clothesline that knocks him down!! VCW referee Jerry Rogers is in the ring to officiate, and this match is on!!
Four-Way Match for the VCW Television Title:
King Rasta (c)
w/Bobby the Monkey
vs.
Tim Bell
vs.
"The California Crippler" Ken Collins
vs.
"The Barcelona
Assassin" Lorenzo Vasquez
w/Rebecca Black
The match opens with King Rasta beating up Lorenzo Vasquez, with both Tim Bell and Ken Collins down after being assaulted before the match, until a big clothesline from King Rasta knocks Lorenzo Vasquez backwards over Tim Bell... who quickly rolls him up to attempt the pin. King Rasta breaks that pin up with an elbowdrop, and now the match becomes more uncertain, as Tim Bell joins the fray. Seconds later, Ken Collins also pulls himself to his feet, battered and weary after his previous match and the assault on him recently, and joins the match as well. Lorenzo Vasquez leaves Tim Bell and King Rasta to fight it out and quickly goes after Ken Collins, attacking his arm. This may be smart strategy... after Ken's match with Virginia and the pre-match beating he endured, he could be the weak link in this match. Meanwhile, Tim Bell is also not faring so well against King Rasta; he's finding out, like Ken Collins did, that a lot of his usual tactics won't work on the massive, powerful King Rasta.
King Rasta breaks up a tiger suplex pin attempt by Lorenzo Vasquez on Ken Collins, and begins assaulting Lorenzo Vasquez. Their battle quickly spills out of the ring, where Lorenzo Vasquez regains the upper hand with a low blow, then begins introducing King Rasta head-first to various hard, unforgiving objects at ringside. Meanwhile, Tim Bell decides to see if he can capitalize on Ken Collins's weakened state, going after him while the other two brawl on the outside. But Ken Collins still has something left, and he shows it by squirming behind him and catching Tim Bell in the California Crossface. Tim Bell struggles, trying to get to the ropes, but he's a long way away. Fortunately for him, Lorenzo Vasquez sees what's going on in the ring and takes a break from attacking King Rasta on the outside to climb into the ring and break the California Crossface, then puts Ken Collins in the Barcelona Armbar. But King Rasta comes back in and breaks the hold, then begins grabbing his much smaller opponents and suplexing them around the ring, one at a time.
King Rasta finally settles on dominating the weary Ken Collins, while Tim Bell and Lorenzo Vasquez fight it out as well. Both Tim Bell and King Rasta manage to generally maintain the upper hand for a while, then Tim Bell sets Lorenzo Vasquez up on the top turnbuckle, as King Rasta drills Ken Collins with a belly-to-belly suplex, and climbs up to the opposite turnbuckle. Tim Bell brings Lorenzo Vasquez down with the Top-Rope Frankensteiner, but King Rasta connects with the Dreadlock Drop on Ken Collins! King Rasta goes for the pin on Ken Collins, followed a fraction of a second later by Tim Bell on Lorenzo Vasquez, and Jerry Rogers counts to three on King Rasta's pin!! King Rasta retains!!
Four-Way
Match:
King Rasta defeated Tim Bell, Lorenzo Vasquez, and Ken Collins
when Rasta pinned K. Collins with the Dreadlock Drop in 0:10:54.
Rating: ** 1/2
(King Rasta retained the VCW Television Title.)
King Rasta's up, raising his hands in victory... but so's Tim Bell! Tim Bell seems to think that the count was for his pin on Lorenzo Vasquez!! He rolls out of the ring, and claims the VCW Television Title, raising it high above his head... but Jerry Rogers snatches it out of his hands, then gives it to King Rasta and raises his hands. Tim Bell gives him a confused look, but Jerry Rogers points to King Rasta, then makes a three-count motion and points to Ken Collins, explaining that King Rasta pinned Ken Collins to retain the title. Tim Bell doesn't look exceptionally happy about it, but shakes King Rasta's hand in a display of sportsmanship, then helps Ken Collins up and does the same for him. Meanwhile, Lorenzo Vasquez rolls out of the ring and begins heading backstage with Rebecca Black, stopping to show his disdain for the hand-shaking and sportsmanship in the ring by raising two middle fingers in their direction, before disappearing through the backstage area. King Rasta is still the VCW Television Champion, and the crowd gives a mild pop as he heads backstage with Tim Bell, Ken Collins, and Bobby the Monkey.
Speaking of things that're going on backstage, let's take a look in the backstage lounge area, courtesy of the Big Brother Production Team, the very best at invading the privacy of innocent people. Hey, there's time to kill before the next match is ready to go on, so why not?
Backstage...
Robert Danson is shown hanging around in a lounge backstage, along with Nicole. A few other people are in the background, as Robert Danson sits down with Nicole, bringing two drinks to the table. Nicole takes a sip of one of them, as Robert Danson puts his arm around her shoulder.
R. Danson: Well, I tell you... how about that eight-man tag team match, huh? Was that wild or what!?
Nicole: Sure, it was great, I guess.
R. Danson: Yes sir, that was some crazy stuff. We taught some folks a lesson tonight, yes indeedy!
Nicole: Robert... sure, the match was great and everything, but... your career's not going anywhere. You used to be on top of the tag team division, but you're just not getting anything done anymore. I mean... you used to have the VCW World Tag Team Titles with Ken, and you had the VCW Commissioner behind you... what happened?
R. Danson: Well, first we lost the VCW World Tag Team Titles to the Hammer of the Gods, then Virginia turned on us. That's pretty much it, right there. But why dwell on the past?
Nicole: No, you're not getting the point. You need to get focused. There could be titles in your future, and main event matches... you just need to set a goal and go for it. You...
Dick Douglas of Hell's Bikers walks up to the table and gives Robert Danson a pat on the back, as Nicole trails off upon seeing him.
D. Douglas: I couldn't help but overhear what the lady was talking about, and she's just too nice to tell you the truth. She needs a man who actually wins matches once in a while. She needs a real man like me. Basically, the problem is that you're a loser.
Nicole: Now hold on, that's not--
R. Danson: My friend, the idea of you calling anybody a loser makes me laugh. So does the idea that you actually win matches once in a while. So go somewhere and sit down, because we're not interested.
D. Douglas: Oh, really!? I'll teach you something, buddy...
Dick Douglas gets an angry glare across his face, and grabs one of the drinks, sloshing it all over Robert Danson. Robert Danson stands up, but Nicole grabs his arm and holds him back.
Nicole: Come on, Robert... he's not worth it. You don't need to fight him. He's just--
Dick Douglas grabs the other drink and sloshes it across Nicole. She screams and looks down in shock at her red dress, most of which is now dark red from being soaked.
Nicole: Eeeewwww!! It's all cold and fizzy!! Are you going to let him do that, Robert!? Whip his ass for me!!
At Nicole's urging, Robert Danson advances on Dick Douglas and knocks him down with a big punch to the face.
R. Danson: Take that, sir!!
Dick Douglas starts to get up, but Robert Danson pounces on him and begins pummelling him. Dick Douglas turns the fight over and gets in a few hits of his own, then Robert Danson rolls back on top and continues his offense. The people in the general area, mostly ring crew and trainers, quickly converge on the fight and pull the two men off of each other, then stand between them.
D. Douglas: Just you wait, Danson!! I'm gonna get my crowbar, and I'll be waiting outside the arena to beat your ass!!
Robert Danson turns to Nicole as Dick Douglas is hauled away by the people that pulled the fight apart.
R. Danson: Oh, my. That dress is positively soaked. Let's get you back to the hotel so you can take it off.
Robert Danson scoops Nicole up in his arms and walks off the scene, heedless of Dick Douglas continuing to yell threats in the background, as the camera fades out on the backstage scene.
Well, that was certainly... different. Back in the ring area, "Degenerated" by the Lone Rangers is playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd boos as Arthur Justice and the Manhunters come out of the backstage area, prepared for their three-on-two match against Johnny Smiles and Moy Lazzario. They enter the ring and do a few X-shaped crotch chops for the crowd, then turn to face the backstage entrance as they await their opponents.
"Talk Dirty To Me" by Poison begins playing over the arena sound system, and Johnny Smiles and Moy Lazzario come out of the backstage area, to a loud burst of cheers from the crowd. Johnny Smiles has a microphone, and stops at the top of the entrance ramp, looking at the Manhunters and Arthur Justice.
J. Smiles: HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRE'S JOHNNY!!!
The crowd cheers loudly, but Arthur Justice doesn't seem impressed.
J. Smiles: And here's Moy Lazzario, too.
The crowd gives a somewhat more mild pop for Moy Lazzario.
J. Smiles: So, is this the best that Virginia can do? I mean, sure, there's three of you and all, but just look at yourselves. Manhunters... no offense, but you're the two worst luchadors I've EVER seen... and Arthur Justice, we already know what you are... but I'll get to that in just a second.
The crowd cheers, but Arthur Justice appears outraged. He begins looking around at the crowd, yelling at them to shut up, but to no avail.
J. Smiles: But it doesn't matter what Virginia can do. She can disqualify me in a Nightstick Match... she can dress the Manhunters up in potato sacks and send them out after me tonight... she can even go to the plastic surgeons and get a pair of even more ridiculous-looking, gigantic, fake silicon breasts!! But none of that's stopping me from going to Wrestlewar. And while you guys are putting on a War Games Match that makes the Gang Wars '99 disaster look like a great, epic battle, I'll be going one-on-one with Virginia. And when I win that match, it won't just be for me, it'll be for all of the Johnnycoholics... and I'm sure it's a large portion of them... who have ever had their girlfriend become their boss, and then turn on them for two middle-aged, overweight potato farmers and a glad-handed, muscle-flexing, goofy-looking, tanning booth-dwelling, completely and utterly asinine JACKASS!!
Johnny Smiles and Moy Lazzario charge to the ring and slide inside, with the crowd cheering them on... and promptly fall victim to a three-on-two attack from the Manhunters and Arthur Justice. VCW Linda Peterson enters the ring and calls for the bell, and the handicap match officially begins now!
Handicap Match:
Johnny Smiles & Moy Lazzario
vs.
Administration X (Manhunter #1, Manhunter #2, & Arthur Justice)
Moy Lazzario is quickly thrown out of the ring, and the Manhunters leave the ring, leaving Johnny Smiles and Arthur Justice as the legal men in the ring. Arthur Justice starts out dominant due to the three-on-two situation at the beginning, but Johnny Smiles makes a quick comeback, then tags in Moy Lazzario. Together, using quickness and general ingenuity, they control the match against Arthur Justice for a while... until Johnny Smiles tries a cross bodypress, and gets caught with a powerslam. Arthur Justice and the Manhunters then take turns giving Johnny a beating again, until Johnny ducks a clothesline from Manhunter #1, then pops up and takes him down with a superkick. Once again, Johnny Smiles and Moy Lazzario take control, and Moy Lazzario gets a near fall after his Thesz Press, punches, and Ace Crusher combo, but he's unable to execute the Slingshot Suplex, and Manhunter #1 counters it with a brain buster.
The Manhunters and Arthur Justice dominate Moy Lazzario for a few minutes, but Moy Lazzario manages to avoid the Double Diving Headbutt from the Manhunters, and crawls to his corner. Johnny and Arthur Justice get the hot tags, and Johnny dispenses dropkicks for everybody in sight. Moy Lazzario comes in to help him, clearing out the Manhunters, then diving out onto Manhunter #2 with a plancha, as Johnny Smiles hits some more offense on Arthur Justice. Johnny Smiles nails Arthur Justice with the superkick for a near fall, but then Manhunter #1 jumps back up on the apron, preparing to enter the ring... but Johnny superkicks him off, back onto the floor!! Arthur Justice gets back up... and staggers right into the Smiledriver, after which Johnny covers him for the three count!!
Handicap
Match:
Johnny Smiles and Moy Lazzario defeated Administration X
(Manhunter #1, Manhunter #2, and Arthur Justice) when J. Smiles
pinned Justice with the Smiledriver in 0:07:17.
Rating: DUD
Arthur Justice and the Manhunters have been cut down to size, and now Johnny Smiles and Moy Lazzario are celebrating as they leave the ring and head backstage, with the crowd cheering them on. In spite of the odds, they made fairly short work of Virginia's gang of thugs. Speaking of those thugs, they're also getting up now, and heading backstage somewhat glumly, as the crowd's boos echo after them.
"Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin begins playing next, and here comes one-half of the VCW World Tag Team Champions, Jacob Idol, along with the VCW T & A Champion, Jasmina Chastity. After the Hammer of the Gods screwed the Ontario Color Show out of their hard-earned title shot last week, somebody in the booking committee must have gotten the idea to punish them a little bit, because Jacob Idol has a one-on-one match with Gabriel Black tonight, and Rob Solomon will be facing one-half of the Wrestlewar main event, David Wright Hubbard. Jacob Idol doesn't look quite as cocky and proud of himself as usual as he climbs into the ring, preparing for this match.
"A Letter To God" by London After Midnight begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd begins cheering loudly as Gabriel Black comes out of the backstage area, heading for the ring with purpose. He doesn't seem to be taking Jacob Idol lightly, and that's probably a smart thing; Jacob Idol is perfectly capable of winning this match. He's a highly skilled technical wrestler who knows every dirty trick in the book, much like Gabriel Black himself. But unlike Gabriel Black, he hasn't made it to the top of VCW yet... and he'd better rise to the occasion in a big way if he wants to pull this one off.
Gabriel Black enters the ring, and poses briefly for the cheering crowd, then the two men begin circling each other, as Jasmina Chastity steps out of the ring. Brendan Powers, the referee for this match, steps into the ring and calls for the bell, and this match is on!!
Jacob Idol
w/Jasmina Chastity
vs.
Gabriel Black
They cautiously lock up, and Gabriel Black opens up strongly, taking Jacob Idol down a few times, then planting a few elbows in his neck and putting on a headlock. But Jacob Idol's been here before... he knows that Gabriel Black, much like his long-time adversary Owen Addison, will try to work over his neck, and he manages to fight out of the headlock and counter with a belly-to-back suplex. He immediately goes after the arm, obviously remembering Gabriel Black's elbow injury recently, trying to soften him up for one of his signature moves, the armbar submission. But Gabriel Black, possessing a nearly intangible degree of ring intuition that Jacob Idol lacks, manages to regain the advantage soon enough by reversing an armwringer and whipping Jacob Idol to the ropes, then nailing him with a big kneelift.
The advantage changes hands several more times throughout the course of the match, but Gabriel Black seems to have the upper hand, working over Jacob Idol's neck. He plants him with a DDT for a near fall, then goes up to the top, preparing for the Destiny Hammer... but unseen by Brendan Powers, Jasmina Chastity shakes the ropes, causing him to crotch himself on the turnbuckle. Jacob Idol gets up, then goes up and brings him down with a superplex, as Brendan Powers accuses Jasmina of shaking the ropes, and Jasmina quickly denies it, then changes the subject by getting up on the apron and flirting with Brendan Powers. Jacob Idol, seeing that the referee is distracted, pulls out a pair of brass knuckles, then decks Gabriel Black with them!! He goes for the pin, and Brendan Powers turns around just in time to count... no, it can't end like this!! AND IT DOESN'T!! Gabriel Black gets a foot on the ropes at two and nine-tenths!!
Gabriel Black's still seriously groggy, though... and now Jacob Idol's grabbing his arm, and putting on the armbar submission!! Gabriel Black's obviously in a great deal of pain, and very far from the ropes... but he slowly begins crawling across the ring, trying to make his way there... Jacob Idol's holding on like a vice grip, making him fight for every inch... and after a long, grueling struggle, Gabriel finally makes it. Gabriel Black begins to get back up... but Jacob Idol goes to the top turnbuckle... MOONSAULT BODYBLOCK!! But Gabriel Black catches him, in position for the Destiny Driver!! But his arm's weak, and Jacob Idol's desperately squirming and kicking, realizing his predicament... and Gabriel staggers around, trying to muscle Jacob Idol into position despite his weak arm... but Jasmina Chastity reaches in and trips him! Gabriel Black drops Jacob Idol and goes down, but gets up quickly and turns to Jasmina, reaching outside to grab her by hair... but Jacob Idol comes from behind and rolls him up with a handful of tights!! Brendan Powers goes down to count, and it's ove... NO, IT'S NOT!! Gabriel Black kicks out at the very last possible fraction of a second!! Jacob Idol looks at Brendan Powers, stunned that it wasn't a three... and he grabs Gabriel Black's arm, looking for an armbar takedown, but Gabriel Black squirms around behind... BACKDROP DRIVER!! Gabriel Black just planted Jacob Idol right on the top of his head... and he goes for the pin, and gets three!!
Gabriel
Black pinned Jacob Idol after a backdrop driver in 0:11:05.
Rating: *** 1/2
Gabriel Black just got the victory here, but Jacob Idol came amazingly close... he didn't come here to lose tonight. Even though he lost the match, and made use of a number of illegal tactics, Jacob Idol still put on one heck of an impressive showing against Gabriel Black. Gabriel rolls out of the ring, clutching his wounded right arm, and heads backstage to the cheers of the crowd, as Jasmina Chastity does her best to help Jacob Idol up. He gets up, holding his head, and looks around groggily at the crowd as they boo him. He gives them the finger, then staggers backstage with one arm draped over Jasmina Chastity.
Once again, "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin begins playing over the arena sound system, this time bringing out Julian Page, still wearing his Bret Hart-like ring attire, complete with pink glasses and leather jacket, as well as the VCW Intercontinental Title. He hands the glasses to some kid at ringside, then grabs a microphone and begins to address the crowd.
J. Page: You know... there have been a lot of people getting screwed in the wrestling world these days. You just saw Jacob Idol get screwed out of a victory by that lowlife stinking hyaena Gabriel Black... and it wasn't too long ago that I got screwed in a tag team match against the Heavy Metal Express by Bret "The Has-Been" Hart. Hey, even Bret himself knows a lot about being screwed... after all, all he does is bitch about it day after day after day after day... and I just wish he'd shut up. There's a new Hitman in town, a new wrestler to be the Canadian National Hero... even though I hate Canada... and the new excellence of execution... and that's me. And when Bret Hart interfered in my match like the scum of the earth that he is, Bret screwed Bret. Because now that I've got a match with him at Wrestlewar, I'm putting the VCW Intercontinental Title on the line, and I'm gonna wipe him out once and for all, because I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be!! Send out Lars Coverdale, and watch and learn as he gets excellently executed!!
"Talk Dirty To Me" by Poison begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd cheers loudly as Lars Coverdale comes to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans, then climbs inside. He immediately makes the mistake of turning his back on Julian Page to bang his head and play air guitar, and it turns out that that costs him, because Julian Page jumps him from behind. Bobcat McGavin enters the ring and calls for the bell, and this match is on!
For the VCW Intercontinental Title:
Julian "The Hitman" Page (c)
vs.
Lars Coverdale
Julian Page immediately takes Lars Coverdale down and begins going after his right knee with a vicious streak, hitting a kneebreaker and executing repeated elbowdrops and buttdrops on his knee, to soften it up for the Sharpshooter, and to prevent Lars Coverdale from using some of his signature moves, like the Sweet Chin Music or many of his high-flying moves. He remembers his loss to Lars Coverdale two weeks ago, in his own finisher, and wants to make damn sure that it doesn't happen again, as he goes after Lars Coverdale's knee with a vengance. Lars Coverdale makes a few brief comebacks, but they don't amount to much, as Julian Page systematically cuts each one off with a precise attack to the knee.
Julian Page eventually goes to finish Lars Coverdale off with the FIVE MOVES OF DOOM, but Lars Coverdale catches him with his knee on the attempted second-rope elbowdrop. Despite further aggravating his knee's weakened condition, Lars Coverdale shuts the pain out and gets up, mounting a comeback against Julian Page, and taking him down with some fairly quick offense, hobbling the whole time. Eventually, he hits the Sweet Chin Music on Julian Page... but taxes his knee severely in so doing, and is a little late to go for the cover, getting only a two and three-quarters count. But with Julian Page still down, he locks on the Sharpshooter!! This is the move he beat Julian Page with last time!! Could he make Julian Page submit to his own stolen finishing move again!? Julian Page reaches around and grabs his leg... and he reverses it!! Julian Page reversed Lars Coverdale's Sharpshooter into his own... and Lars Coverdale is stuck in the middle of the ring, with nowhere to go! Julian Page carefully keeps his legs out of reach of a re-reversal attempt, and Lars Coverdale has no choice but to submit.
Julian
Page made Lars Coverdale submit to the Sharpshooter in 0:12:33.
Rating: *** 1/4
(Julian Page retained the VCW Intercontinental Title.)
Lightning didn't strike twice, unfortunately; Julian Page dominated this match, en route to scoring a decisive victory and retaining the VCW Intercontinental Title. He holds the Sharpshooter for several more seconds until Bobcat McGavin begins threatening to reverse the decision, then releases the hold and leaves the ring, claiming the VCW Intercontinental Title and heading backstage with it, to the crowd's boos. Marty Jannetty comes out to help Lars Coverdale get to his feet and limp backstage, and the crowd gives a mild pop for his valiant effort against Julian Page.
And now... hold on, wait just a second!! We've just received word that the Big Brother Production Team somehow has a camera in... of all places... Robert Danson's hotel room! And evidently there's some VERY interesting footage on hand... let's go to that now!!
In Robert Danson's Hotel Room...
It would appear that the camera has come on at a VERY private time... on the bed in the hotel room, Robert Danson and Nicole are... well, for lack of a better term, having sex. The censors have unfortunately blotted out all of the good parts; even the Violence and Mayhem Channel has some standards of decency, when it remembers to enforce them. But after a few moments, the activity on the bed stops, and they snuggle for a bit... then Robert Danson gets up out of bed (still censored, fortunately for the heterosexual male portion of the viewing audience) and grabs a can of Surge off of the dresser beside the bed, opens it, and takes a hearty swig.
R. Danson: Ahhhhhh, what a rush!! And I'm not talking about the drink, either. You were good. At sex, I mean.
Nicole: Yes, I am good at sex. And you have a large penis.
R. Danson: Yes, I have a large penis, and that makes me good at sex. Just like you're good at sex.
Nicole: Yes, I am good at sex.
A long, AWKWARD silence follows between Robert Danson and Nicole, then there's a knock at the door.
R. Danson: Who is it?
Voice: Room service. You've been selected to receive a free sampler platter of food and beverages.
R. Danson: Well, all right then. Let me put on my pants, and I'll be right out.
Robert Danson slips on his pants, then goes to answer the door... but Dick Douglas is the one who answers it, nailing him in the side of the head with his crowbar. Robert Danson crumples to the floor of the room, and Dick Douglas steps in, cackling triumphantly.
D. Douglas: For starters, chew on THAT, you dumb son of a bitch!!
Nicole screams and jumps out of bed, briefly forgetting her current state of (unfortunately censored) nudity. Dick Douglas looks at her with evil, lustful intent in his eyes and smiles, walking towards her.
D. Douglas: Hey there, good looking... that's some pretty fine stuff you've got there. Why don't you try seeing what a real man can do. It's about time you forget about the pretty wrapping, because I've got the total package in my pants.
Nicole: Get the fuck out of my room, you smelly creep!
For some reason, THAT gets past the censors.
D. Douglas: Oh, come on now... that's no way to talk to... hey, put that down, don't do anything stup--
Dick Douglas is cut off as Nicole picks up a ceramic lamp and smashes it over his head. He topples to the floor, just as Robert Danson starts to get to his feet. Dick Douglas starts to get up, but Robert Danson takes him head-first into the wall, then picks up his own crowbar and lays him out with it.
R. Danson: That's what you get for breaking in here, hitting me with a crowbar, and saying that you have Lex Luger in your pants, sir. Simply put... you are a disgrace.
Robert Danson turns to look at Nicole.
R. Danson: Are you all right?
Nicole: Sure. But next time, look through the peep hole on the door before you answer it.
R. Danson: Right. Sorry about that... but let's get this taken care of right now.
Robert Danson picks up the phone in his hotel room and pushes some buttons.
R. Danson: Room service? Ah, yes... hello, men. This is room twenty-seven A, and we've got a big, greasy, smelly, ugly mess on our floor. We were wondering if you could send in some janitors to clean it up. Oh, yes, and there's a broken lamp too. Okay... thanks. Sure thing... bye.
Robert Danson hangs up the phone and smiles as the camera fades out on the bizarre scene just witnessed in the hotel room.
Well... that was certainly... bizarre. Dick Douglas was pretty quick to take offense after Robert Danson rebuked his attempts to move in on Nicole earlier tonight... but unfortunately for him, this didn't really go very far towards getting even. In a moment, we'll see a third appearance by a member of the Hammer of the Gods, as Rob Solomon takes on David Wright Hubbard. But right now, let's go to a backstage interview. Ziggy Adderloaf has caught up to Tony Garcia and Lance Errington, the team that will meet Troy Black and Falcon in tonight's main event, and we're going to hear from them now.
Backstage...
Ziggy Adderloaf is standing backstage with Tony Garcia, Rebecca Black, and Lance Errington, who are preparing for the main event match which will take place soon.
Z. Adderloaf: I'm here with Tony Garcia and Lance Errington, who will team up tonight to face--
R. Black: Hold it right there, you obnoxious little twerp. I've got a little message to a few people. First... King Rasta, I don't know what you're trying to pull by bringing that stupid, smelly monkey down to ringside... but if that monkey EVER puts its paws on me again, Rasta, I'll have no choice... I'm going to spank your monkey. And number two... Melissa. I'm going to beat your ass at Wrestlewar... but just as a bonus, I've got a surprise for you next Monday night. Just you wait, you pretty little bitch... it's something you know you've wanted for a long time.
Z. Adderloaf: Eh... yes. Right. Well, Tony, Lance... you've got a match not too far from now. What are your thoughts as you prepare to take on Troy Black and Falcon?
T. Garcia: Troy Black... he just keeps coming back, doesn't he? I beat his ass last week, Crimson's beat his ass a few more times, and every single damn time, he keeps coming back, and getting up in our business. Just like Gabriel... he thought he was a badass tonight beating Jacob Idol... but Jacob Idol's just a little punk, just like Gabriel and Troy. So I'd really like to break them in half. But if I end up getting Falcon, and I finish the job of breaking that bad back of his with the Torture Rack... well, that's fine too. Because me and Lorenzo can't wait until Wrestlewar, when we're gonna take Gabriel and Troy up on their little challenge, and cripple both those little punks. Troy... you're getting a taste of what'll happen tonight... and Gabriel, you lying, backstabbing chump, you just wait until Wrestlewar, and I'll finish you off for good.
L. Errington: Right. Falcon... if Tony Garcia doesn't beat me to it, I'm going to end this early. I know that everyone's thinking that me and you will settle this at Wrestlewar... but no... it ends tonight. I'm going to break you in half, and save Erica from your bad influence once and for all. And Erica... you did a good thing last week. Bring the brass knuckles again, love, because I'm going to finish slaying this demon that's ruining your life.
Z. Adderloaf: All right then. Best of luck to you, guys, and let's get back to the ring!!
The camera fades out, as Rebecca Black goes to stand behind Ziggy Adderloaf and give him "bunny ears" from behind.
And yet again, "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin kicks on... needless to say, the crowd's getting pretty sick of the Hammer of the Gods by now. But nevertheless, Rob Solomon is coming out of the backstage area, wearing one of the VCW World Tag Team Title belts, and carrying a hockey stick in one hand, and a microphone in the other. The crowd boos loudly as he enters the ring and raises the microphone to speak.
R. Solomon: Okay, okay... time for you to shut up, and take a look at some footage that shows all of you just why I'm one half of the VCW World Tag Team Champions, and everybody else is looking up, wishing they could wear my belt or fill my shoes. Take a look at the ViolenTron.
The ViolenTron comes on and shows some footage from last week: Rob Solomon jumping off the top of a ladder to execute the Katana Legdrop right across the arm and shoulder of Owen Addison.
R. Solomon: See that!? BOOM!! Right there, right on his bad shoulder... remember that little rotator cuff injury? Well... how's that arm feeling now, Owen? Huh? From the top of a ladder, I just came off and crushed his arm like a steamroller. So much for those hippie Canadians and their little number-one contenders spot.
The crowd boos loudly as Rob Solomon pauses briefly, pacing across the ring.
R. Solomon: But you know, a lot of people are saying that we screwed the Ontario Color Show. The way I see it, we've beaten them before, and we went into that match with nothing to prove... so we gave ourselves the night off, at the expense of the Ontario Color Show's medical insurance policy. People can say that they're the best tag team in VCW, but these gold belts say differently, and they talk a hell of a lot louder than you people or a bunch of dirt sheet writers.
But since we are the best tag team in VCW... since we are the ones who hold these belts, we have no problem demonstrating that one more time. When I went up for that ladder spot, and came crashing down on Owen Addison's shoulder, I had a vision. A vision of doing that all night long, until those injury-prone, tie-dye wearing, second-rate tag team wrestlers called the Ontario Color Show are laid up in the retirement home, out of our hair for good. So I'm challenging... no, let me take that back. I'm DEMANDING that the Ontario Color Show drag their battered, destroyed bodies to Wrestlewar, and take us on for these VCW World Tag Team Titles... IN A LADDER MATCH.
The crowd explodes into loud cheers for the mention of a ladder match, and Rob Solomon looks around at them, waiting for it to die down.
R. Solomon: I don't care how long it takes them to find the guts to accept this challenge, or how much glue you'll need to hold Owen's broken-down shoulder together until they make it to Wrestlewar... we want to hang our belts up over the arena, and take turns knocking the Ontario Color Show off of ladders all night long. You boys made it down a long, winding, hazardous road to get to be the number-one contenders... but now the only things standing between you and a shot at these titles are your own fear and common sense.
Once again, Rob Solomon pauses briefly; the crowd's still murmuring with excitement at the mention of a ladder match.
R. Solomon: But that's not gonna happen tonight. Tonight, I'm about to give self-proclaimed badass David Wright Hubbard a massive reality check. And after I take care of him tonight... Crimson, I'm coming to kick your seven foot tall ass, and take that title from around your waist.
"War Pigs" by Black Sabbath begins playing over the arena sound system, and here comes David Wright Hubbard, the challenger for the VCW World Title at Wrestlewar!! He's still limping a little bit, and wearing a kneebrace, as he walks to the ring, with the crowd giving him a mixed reaction of cheers and boos. He steps inside the ring and immediately drills Rob Solomon with a big right hand, drawing a pop from the crowd, then begins to attack him as Jerry Rogers enters the ring to officiate.
Rob Solomon
vs.
David Wright Hubbard
David Wright Hubbard pulls Rob Solomon up and begins beating the hell out of him as the match opens, using his massive size and power advantage to dominate with brawling tactics. Rob Solomon ducks a lariat, then begins opening up with a series of stiff martial arts kicks on David Wright Hubbard... but he quickly finds out that going toe-to-toe probably isn't the best strategy, as David Wright Hubbard knocks him off his feet with another massive right hand. But after getting knocked around the ring a little more, Rob Solomon manages to slow David Wright Hubbard down with a low blow, then tosses him out of the ring and nails him with a baseball slide.
On the outside of the ring, Rob Solomon smashes David Wright Hubbard's head into many of the fixtures at ringside, then pulls a table out from under the ring and sets it up. He tries to suplex David Wright Hubbard through the table, but David Wright Hubbard blocks it with a punch to the ribs, then counters with his own suplex on the unforgiving entrance ramp. He continues beating up Rob Solomon, not giving him a second to recover, then moves the table into a position parallel with the ring apron, maybe a foot or two away from it. He stands on the ring apron, and muscles Rob Solomon into position for a power bomb... he's going to power bomb him through the table from the apron!! But Rob Solomon reverses, and executes a Frankensteiner!! David Wright Hubbard goes crashing through the table instead!!
Rob Solomon goes on the attack again, desperately trying to keep David Wright Hubbard subdued, then rolls him back into the ring, and takes control, keeping David Wright Hubbard down with some swift kicks and basic wrestling. David Wright Hubbard mounts a few attempted comebacks, but Rob Solomon keeps control of the match with borderline illegal equalizers like low blows and eye gouges. With David Wright Hubbard somewhat weakened, Rob Solomon locks on an abdominal stretch. As usual, he uses the ropes for leverage when Jerry Rogers isn't looking... but when Jerry Rogers looks up, he lets go of the ropes... and David Wright Hubbard hiptosses out of it! David Wright Hubbard grabs him and whips him into the ropes... but Rob Solomon reverses, then drills David Wright Hubbard with a lariat as he comes off!! He goes for the pin, but gets only a count of two and a half. Keeping up the offense, Rob Solomon pulls his arms around his chest and, with effort, takes him down in the straightjacket suplex... again, only getting two and a half. He hits the sitdown faceslam, then goes up to the top turnbuckle... KATANA LEGDROP!! That's it... NO, David Wright Hubbard kicks out at two and nine-tenths!!
But wait just a second... Jasmina Chastity's running to the ring!! She's distracting Jerry Rogers... and she just slid the hockey stick into the ring! Rob Solomon picks it up, and swings it as David Wright Hubbard gets to his feet... but David Wright Hubbard catches it in mid-swing, and pulls it away!! David Wright Hubbard nails Rob Solomon with his own hockey stick, and goes for the cover... despite Jasmina's protests, Jerry Rogers turns around and counts... but only gets to two and three-quarters!! David Wright Hubbard pulls him up, and gives him a power bomb... but that only gets two and three-quarters as well!! He bounces Rob Solomon off the ropes, and nails him with a lariat... and that STILL only gets a count of two and three-quarters!! David Wright Hubbard goes up to the top turnbuckle... Rob Solomon's getting up... and David Wright Hubbard comes off with the Flying Cross Bodypress... right into a dropkick by Rob Solomon!! He's still in this match!!
Rob Solomon gets up, a little slowly, but David Wright Hubbard's getting up too... LARIAT!! Rob Solomon drilled David Wright Hubbard with another lariat, but he's not going for the cover... he hauls him up, and puts him on the top turnbuckle! He's going for a superplex... but once again, David Wright Hubbard blocks with a fist to the midsection! He stands up to his full height on the turnbuckle, and muscles Rob Solomon up... TOP-ROPE POWER BOMB!! He goes for the cover... but Rob Solomon somehow kicks out at two and nine-tenths!! Now David Wright Hubbard's going up to the top turnbuckle again... he's going for the Flying Cross Bodypress again! But Jasmina Chastity jumps up on the apron, preparing to shake the ropes... but David Wright Hubbard sees her, and jumps down into the ring before she does! Jasmina Chastity's playing innocent, as David Wright Hubbard directs a steely glare at her... and he hauls her into the ring!! He puts her in a standing headscissors... POWER BOMB!! The crowd explodes into a mixture of cheers and boos, and Jasmina Chastity is laid out!! But Rob Solomon's up, and David Wright Hubbard turns around... into a small package!! Rob Solomon has the tights!! Jerry Rogers counts... and only gets two, before David Wright Hubbard reverses it... and gets three!!
David
Wright Hubbard pinned Rob Solomon after a small package in
0:17:07.
Rating: ** 3/4
David Wright Hubbard rolls out of the ring, hands raised in victory, as the crowd gives a mixed response of loud cheers and boos, and Rob Solomon sits up, looking incredibly frustrated with the outcome of this match. He came close on a number of occasions... but David Wright Hubbard just walked out of here with the victory tonight. Rob Solomon reclaims his hockey stick and VCW World Tag Team Title belt, strapping it on, then picks up Jasmina Chastity over his free shoulder and begins carrying her backstage, as the crowd gives him mostly boos, but a few scattered cheers.
Our main event is next... but first, Ziggy Adderloaf is backstage with the other team that'll be going into our main event tonight, Troy Black and Falcon. Let's get their comments right now, before the match.
Backstage...
Ziggy Adderloaf is standing backstage with Troy Black, Falcon, and Lady Erica Whitmore. The tension is very thick in the room, and none of the three people being interviewed looks comfortable in the presence of the others.
Z. Adderloaf: Well, this is it, guys. Time for the main event. What are your thoughts as you prepare for your match with Tony Garcia and Lance Errington?
T. Black: My thoughts are that it isn't going to be a problem. You know Falcon and I just don't like each other... but I think that we hate Tony Garcia and Lance Errington just a little bit more. The only thing I'm worried about...
Troy Black stops, turning to look directly at Lady Erica Whitmore.
T. Black: ... is YOU. I don't know if you're on Falcon's side or Lance's side, and ordinarily, I wouldn't care. But let me give you a little advice. You already stabbed me in the back once... and if you do it again, you'd better make sure I'm not able to get up and come after you for a long time. Do you understand me?
Falcon steps in between Troy Black and Lady Erica Whitmore.
Falcon: Troy, don't start all this paranoid crap again. We can trust Erica. What happened last week with the brass knuckles was an accident. ... Right, Erica?
L.E. Whitmore: Of course. I... thought you might need them. After all, he kicked out of the superkick and the Falconsault...
Falcon: Well... just keep in mind that tonight, I don't need them. I want you there in my corner tonight... but I don't want you to get physically involved. It's me that Lance Errington has the problem with, and I'll take care of him personally.
L.E. Whitmore: Of course. I won't get involved in the match tonight. You have my word.
Falcon: All right. Well, are you ready to do this, Troy?
T. Black: Yeah... let's get it over with.
Falcon: Now you're talking. Let's go. See you later, Ziggy.
Falcon, Troy Black, and Lady Erica Whitmore all walk off the scene, as the camera fades out on this backstage interview.
Back in the ring, "I, Zombie (Europe In The Raw Mix)" by White Zombie is playing, and here come Lance Errington and Tony Garcia, along with Rebecca Black. Rebecca Black is carrying Tony Garcia's wooden axe handle, and threatens to hit various fans with it several times as they make their way to the ring. Tony Garcia and Lance Errington climb inside, loosening up and preparing for the coming confrontation.
"For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica begins playing next, and the silver-blue lights come on, as Troy Black and Falcon make their way out of the backstage area, along with Lady Erica Whitmore. They waste no time in charging to the ring and starting to brawl with Tony Garcia and Lance Errington, as Linda Peterson enters the ring to officiate! Our main event has begun!!
Tony Garcia & Lance
Errington
w/Rebecca Black
vs.
Falcon & Troy Black
w/Lady Erica Whitmore
Falcon and Lance Errington are eventually cleared out of the ring at Linda Peterson's urgings, leaving Troy Black and Tony Garcia to go at it. Troy Black whittles away at Tony Garcia's massive frame with rapid jabs, punches, and kicks, avoiding the massive blows that Tony Garcia throws in return. Troy Black nails him with a dropkick to the knee, then immediately begins going after his knee, in a tactics that has brought him some limited success against Crimson. But like Crimson, Tony Garcia can take a lot of punishment, and it's hard to imagine anything short of taking his legs off with a chainsaw making him submit.
Troy Black tags in Falcon, and Falcon continues where Troy Black left off, going after Tony Garcia. But Tony Garcia steps back out of the way of an attempted dropkick to the knee, then begins clobbering Falcon right in the center of his weakened back. He makes the tag to Lance Errington, limping just a little bit, and Lance Errington comes in with a single-minded purpose, taking Falcon down and driving a knee into his back repeatedly. As he attacks Falcon, Lance Errington frequently looks over at Erica, as if looking for signs of approval. But Falcon makes a comeback, firing back with a series of punches, and regaining control of the match with an intense assault on Lance Errington. After giving Lance Errington a short burst of intense offense, Falcon reluctantly tags in Troy Black again as the pain in his back flares up.
Troy Black goes on the attack, taking Lance Errington down with some flashy spin kicks and spinning leg lariats, then a big jumping clothesline. Lance Errington gets up, a little dazed, and Troy Black tosses him out of the ring, then bounces off the ropes and jumps out onto him with a tope. They collapse in a heap at ringside, but that doesn't deter Troy Black at all; he immediately grabs Lance Errington and whips him into the guardrail, then drills him with a series of punches, causing him to slump against the guardrail in a weakened state.
Troy Black continues to pummel Lance Errington on the outside of the ring, but as he does, Rebecca Black comes up from behind and nails him with a low blow, while Tony Garcia distracts Linda Peterson. Lance Errington regains the advantage, and bashes Troy Black's head into a few of the fixtures at ringside, then rolls him into the ring and tags in Tony Garcia, after giving Troy Black a few stomps for good measure.
Tony Garcia and Lance Errington take turns beating on Troy Black for a good, long while, keeping him isolated from his corner, and working over his back viciously, trying to soften him up for either Tony Garcia's Torture Rack or Lance Errington's Scorpion Deathlock. At one point, Troy Black counters an attempted dragon screw takedown by Lance Errington with an enzuigiri, but Tony Garcia quickly gets the tag and cuts Troy Black off before he can tag in Falcon, then begins brutalizing him with forearm shots to the back, slams, and a backbreaker or two, continuing to try to break Troy Black in half. Falcon desperately wants to get the tag and come in to clean house, but Tony Garcia's keeping Troy Black smartly positioned in his own corner.
After a little more domination of Troy Black, Tony Garcia picks him up across his shoulders and puts on the Torture Rack!! The crowd boos, but Troy Black is struggling... and after a few seconds, he squirms out behind Tony Garcia! Tony Garcia turns around, and Troy Black knocks him down with a big savate kick... then collapses to the mat himself. Both men are slow to get up and head for their corners... Tony Garcia tags in Lance Errington, and Rebecca Black calls Linda Peterson over to their corner... and Troy Black tags in Falcon!! Falcon enters the ring and begins pummelling Lance Errington... but Linda Peterson was distracted by Rebecca Black, and didn't see the tag!! Falcon is sent back to his corner, as the crowd boos loudly, and Lance Errington drags Troy Black into his corner again.
Lance Errington pulls Troy Black up and gives him a kick to the midsection, then an Ace Crusher... but only gets a count of two and a half when he goes for the pin. But Troy Black is still down... and Lance Errington puts on the Scorpion Deathlock!! Troy Black's caught in the opposing corner, trapped in the Scorpion Deathlock!! He's slowly trying to pull himself across the ring to his own corner, but the progress is agonizingly slow... fighting for every inch... he makes it halfway across the ring... and Lance Errington pulls him back!! Troy Black squirms and struggles pitifully for a few seconds, then goes limp, and Linda Peterson goes down to check his arm, as the crowd starts stomping and clapping, and chanting "LET'S GO TROY!". Troy Black's arm drops twice... but stays up a third time!! Troy Black looks up, with his eyes nearly glazed over, and begins crawling to his corner slowly, but powerfully, almost like some kind of machine!! He's been in this hold for well over a minute now, and he's crawling to his corner... but he may not have enough left to make it! He's noticably beginning to weaken and slow down as he nears his corner... and with a last desperate lunge, he hauls himself forward and reaches out! He makes the tag, and here comes Falcon!!
Lance Errington backpedals rapidly as Falcon comes in, full of rage and adrenaline. With his courage suddenly absent, Lance Errington tags in Tony Garcia, and both men charge Falcon, each taking a dropkick. Falcon takes both men down repeatedly, then gets Lance Errington on the ropes and sends him crashing over the top with a superkick!! Falcon continues his assault on Tony Garcia with a kick to the midsection, then a DDT, but a pin attempt only gets two and three-quarters. He goes up to the top turnbuckle, a little slowly as his adrenaline fades and the pain in his back returns, as Tony Garcia gets up... FLYING DROPKICK!! But THAT only gets two and three-quarters as well!! Tony Garcia's getting up again, but Falcon's waiting on him... SUPERKICK!! Tony Garcia's down, and Falcon's holding his back in pain... he may have stretched an injured muscle on the extension for the superkick, but he's shutting it out and going for the pin... and still only gets two and three-quarters! Tony Garcia gets up, and Falcon runs to the ropes, springboarding off of the middle one... FALCONSAULT!! Could that be it!? Falcon's got the legs, and Linda Peterson counts... and STILL only gets two and three-quarters!! What does it take to beat Tony Garcia!?
Falcon's at a loss for what to do to put Tony Garcia away... but on the outside of the ring, Troy Black's beginning to recover... and Rebecca Black comes from behind and gives him a low blow, and Lance Errington throws him head-first into the steel steps!! Back in the ring, Falcon's sizing up Tony Garcia for the superkick again as he gets up... and Lance Errington grabs Lady Erica Whitmore, and tosses her into the ring behind Falcon!! She gets up and staggers back into Falcon... and Falcon turns around, surprised to see her, then begins telling her to get out of the ring. Lady Erica Whitmore's trying to explain what happened... but Tony Garcia grabs Falcon from behind, and picks him up... TORTURE RACK!! Falcon's in the Torture Rack, and now Lance Errington grabs Erica's feet and pulls her out of the ring, then grabs her by the head and pulls her in for a big kiss, as she struggles against his embrace... and inside the ring, Falcon has no choice but to submit!! Tony Garcia and Lance Errington win!!
Tony
Garcia and Lance Errington defeated Falcon and Troy Black when
Garcia made Falcon submit to the Torture Rack in 0:17:59.
Rating: ** 1/4
Lance Errington's back in the ring, cheering Tony Garcia on as he continues to rack Falcon... but Lady Erica Whitmore just rolled into the ring too! She comes up behind Tony Garcia... and nails him with a low blow!! Tony Garcia drops Falcon and doubles over, and Erica helps Falcon to roll out of the ring. But Rebecca Black enters the ring and grabs Erica from behind... and Tony Garcia goes over and grabs his wooden axe handle!! Oh, no... they're not going to... come on, don't do this!! Tony Garcia's measuring Lady Erica Whitmore, drawing back the axe handle to swing it... and Lance Errington grabs it out of his hands! Lance Errington's telling Tony Garcia not to do it... and Tony Garcia doesn't seem too happy about that!! They're arguing in the middle of the ring, and Rebecca Black throws Lady Erica Whitmore aside to join Tony Garcia in arguing with Lance Errington.
But Troy Black's up on the outside of the ring... and he's got a chair!! Still limping after his ordeal in the Scorpion Deathlock, Troy Black slides into the ring with the chair, and Tony Garcia turns around... and gets knocked off his feet with a massive blow from the chair!! Lance Errington turns, and he gets nailed with the chair as well!! Rebecca Black drops to her knees and starts begging off... but to no avail, because Troy Black drills her with a shot from the chair as well!! Lance Errington and Rebecca Black roll out of the ring, clutching their heads... but Tony Garcia's back up! Troy Black nails him with the chair again, and he staggers back, against the ropes... Troy Black takes a weak, hobbling running start, and nails Tony Garcia with a massive jumping chairshot, sending him spilling out over the top rope, to the floor!!
"For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica begins playing again, and the crowd cheers loudly as Lance Errington, Tony Garcia, and Rebecca Black regroup outside the ring, and Falcon gets up and climbs into the ring with Troy, still clutching his back in pain, but standing side by side with Troy in the ring, as Lady Erica Whitmore joins them as well. Lance Errington stops to say something to Tony Garcia and Rebecca Black, then charges the ring and jumps up on the apron... and Troy Black nails him with a chairshot to the head as he does, sending him crashing back down!! Lance Errington gets up, and staggers back to rejoin Rebecca Black and Tony Garcia in their retreat to the backstage area.
After they've left, Troy Black throws down the chair, and extends a hand to Falcon. Falcon hesitates, looking around at the crowd. He stops and looks at Erica, as if trying to see what she thinks... then reaches forward and takes his hand. They shake hands, and the crowd holds their breath, waiting to see who will strike out with a sneak attack first... but all that happens is that Troy Black releases Falcon's hand shortly thereafter, and rolls out of the ring. He points to Falcon, still in the ring, and says something that the cameras don't quite pick up, then begins heading backstage, as the crowd cheers. And with that, we're out of time. Join us next week!!
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