Monday Night Wrestling 04/16/01 (VCW 116)

Welcome, once again, to VCW Monday Night Wrestling!! We're coming to you live from the Arco Arena in California, and we're coming off a big pay-per-view event! Last night, we crowned new VCW World Tag Team Champions as Jacob Idol and Rob Solomon regained the titles... Sandis Arlington battled to a sixty-minute draw with Troy Black... and in the biggest story of the evening, Tony Garcia became the VCW World Champion, defeating David Wright Hubbard, Falcon, and "Macho Man" Randy Savage in the Quadruple Threat Match to take home the title!!

We had a big show for you last night, and we've got a big show lined up for you tonight as well. Tonight, Brujah defends the VCW Television Title against Salvaje Demonio! "Double R" Rex Richards faces Bass Rogers! The Ontario Colour Show will battle "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Crimson in tag team competition! Johnny Smiles puts the VCW Intercontinental Title on the line against Marty Jannetty! Falcon returns to Monday night action, taking on Lance Errington! And in the main event, the monster heels of the Black Plague collide when Tony Garcia, the new VCW World Champion, puts his title on the line against the Grave Digger!! We're looking forward to all that, and a lot more to...

Uh-oh, wait just a second! "Kiss My Ass" by Ted Nugent begins playing over the arena sound system... and here comes "The Barcelona Assassin" Lorenzo Vasquez, staggering to the ring along with Rebecca Black. The crowd explodes into boos upon seeing them, and you can't blame them a bit... Lorenzo Vasquez may have crippled Stacey Lockman with the Destiny Driver last night, and for no real reason at all! We're still waiting for the injury report to come in... it's been delayed for some unknown reason tonight. More on that later... right now, Lorenzo Vasquez is headed to the ring, carrying a large black duffel bag, and they're climbing inside. Lorenzo Vasquez seems to be having trouble walking... even a casual glance seems to reveal that he's drunk out of his mind. The crowd boos loudly as Lorenzo Vasquez calls for a microphone and gets one.

L. Vasquez: All right... let me explain something. Normally, this is where we bring out the whole gang for a big, happy Black Plague promo... but Tony Garcia's World Championship party's rocking the backstage locker room, and the rest of the gang... they were too busy to come out here. Troy Black's in the process of fathering Amy Lin's next abortion, and Tony Garcia's wasted away in Margarita-ville... so I took it out of the kindness of my heart to come out here with Rebecca... even though it meant missing part of the party of the century... and entertain you people, just so you could get your Black Plague fix for the evening.

The crowd boos loudly... one gets the impression that they'd rather Lorenzo Vasquez had not gone to the trouble. From the slur to his speech as he talks, it seems pretty clear that he is, in fact, heavily drunk. Nobody wants to hear human scum like this... Lorenzo Vasquez, totally drunk, on a live microphone is just ASKING for disaster.

L. Vasquez: So, it's all up to me and Rebecca to entertain you folks, huh? You know... I'm not exactly an expert at coming out here and working the stick all by myself, but I got a few things planned I think you'll all like. First of all, how about some impersonations!? Yeah... everybody does impersonations, from Titan Towers all the way to that fucking ant farm up in Toronto. It's some real funny shit. Anyway, sit back and let me entertain you... I just have to figure out which impersonation I'm gonna do.

Rebecca Black steps forward and whispers in Lorenzo Vasquez's ear, and his face lights up in a smile.

L. Vasquez: Oh yeah!! Baby... that's fucking BRILLIANT. You should be a Goddamn rocket scientist, working for NASA. All right, people, I know who I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do Rick Clark! Stand back, because I'm gonna do Rick fucking Clark, and you're all gonna piss yourselves laughing. You know who Rick Clark is!? ... No? ... Ah, I didn't figure... he ain't nobody important. But check this out.

Lorenzo Vasquez reaches into the duffel bag, pulls out an eye patch, and puts it on. Is this necessary at all!? He probably has enough alcohol in him to put an entire frat house under the table, and it's almost certain that no good will come of this...

L. Vasquez: Hey, look at me... I'm Rick Clark! I can't wrestle for shit, so all I do is run around acting like a fucking dumbass and impersonate people who are more famous than me! But watch this!

Lorenzo Vasquez hands the microphone to Rebecca Black, then reaches into the duffel bag and pulls out a brown vest and leather mask, which he puts on. He slides out of the ring and grabs a table, then slides it into the ring, sets it up, and climbs to the second turnbuckle... and jumps through the table! It breaks in an obviously pre-cut pattern, and Lorenzo Vasquez grabs the microphone again.

L. Vasquez: See that!? See that!? Get it? I'm Mick Foley! Isn't that funny!? Now check this out!

The crowd boos as Lorenzo Vasquez takes off the leather mask and the vest, then grabs some gold chains and a "Mr. T" mask, which he puts on. He lifts the microphone again.

L. Vasquez: Hey, look, now I'm Mr. T, sucka! Don't give me no jibber-jabber!! I'm one bad mother-- shut yo mouth!! Anybody know a good gas station I can rob!? Shit, fool, I'm one hard-up G!! I needs to be drinking some forties and shit! And I'm hungry too! Anybody got any watermelon or fried chicken!? Isn't this funny!? Huh!?

Did he just say THAT!? Somebody needs to kill his microphone and get him out of here. The crowd's boos are getting even louder now, and trash is raining down on the ring... even Lorenzo Vasquez, in his drunken state, seems to realize he's stepping over the limits here, and he's taking off the mask and chains, but keeping the eyepatch on.

L. Vasquez: No... I'm not Mr. T or Mick Foley... that'd mean I was a famous, mainstream star who people actually like. No, instead, I'm just Rick Clark, a little fucking pussy with a bad eye who doesn't make enough money working in the flea markets to buy the toilet paper that Troy Black wipes his ass with!! But aren't I funny!?

Rebecca Black gives a little golf clap, and Lorenzo Vasquez tears the eyepatch off, and throws it aside.

L. Vasquez: Fuck no, Rick Clark isn't funny! I can't even stand to imitate the son of a bitch. But I'll do a better one. I'll do... I know, I'll do Ric Flair! How about that!? Watch out... I'm about to do Ric Flair!!

Lorenzo Vasquez reaches into the duffel bag again and pulls out a platinum blond wig, then awkwardly plops it down on his head. A weak chant of "WE WANT FLAIR!" begins in the crowd, but mostly they're just booing. Lorenzo Vasquez raises the microphone again...

L. Vasquez: MEEEEEEEEAAAAAAANNNNN... WHOOOOO!!!! By God, for Christ's sake, what the hell's wrong with you, you bald-headed cocksucker!?!? ... ... ... GENE!!! I'm the Nature Boy!!! WHOOO!!! Stylin' and profilin'!! I'm older than fuck, and I can't work a match to save my wrinkled ass anymore, so I just come out here and shout like a crazy old man!! WHOOO!! I come out here piss drunk, shouting like the fucking redneck I am, and people still say I cut the best promos in the industry!! WHOOOO!! And all the girls are standing in line to ride Space Mountain, because we all know how much young women want to get fucked by an wrinkled-up old man with saggy tits and a shriveled-up dick!! WHOOOO!!! Maybe someday the Nature Boy'll return to the ring... but only if my old lady loans me her bra so I can keep my saggy, fucking disgusting man-tits from hanging down to my knees!! WHOOOO!!!

The crowds boos continue, and Lorenzo Vasquez takes off the blond wig and rips it apart, then tosses the pieces aside. He dramatically takes a bow as Rebecca Black smiles, but the crowd just boos loudly and pitches garbage at him.

L. Vasquez: Man, you're a tough crowd. To hell with it, I ain't no damn comedian anyway. All these stand-up comedians like Rick Clark, like Val Venis, like Edge and Christian... none of them can work a lick, so they all say a bunch of funny shit to get the people to laugh. Even here in VCW... do you think Johnny Smiles ever drew a dime? Do you think he ever sold any T-shirts or tickets? Do you think he'll ever hold the VCW World Title!? FUCK, NO!! Nobody wants to see that--

The crowd explodes into boos, and even Rebecca Black's giving Lorenzo Vasquez a horrified look now, and she snatches the microphone away from him.

R. Black: Lorenzo, you've got a live mic in your hands. Don't say that shit.

L. Vasquez: Wait... oh, shit. Cut that part out of the tape.

Rebecca Black continues to stare at Lorenzo Vasquez like he's insane.

R. Black: This is live TV.

L. Vasquez: I don't care if it's live, get the tape and cut that shit off of it!

R. Black: No... listen to me... this is LIVE. There is no fucking tape.

A wave of forced sobriety seems to wash over Lorenzo Vasquez's face as he stares around the arena. The crowd's mostly silent... they don't know WHAT to think of this.

L. Vasquez: ... Shit.

Lorenzo Vasquez hangs his head, and runs his hand through his hair slowly. Rebecca Black seems like she can't believe what's going on.

L. Vasquez: Give me a second... just give me a second... I'm good.

Lorenzo Vasquez smooths his hair back, then looks up to face the camera again.

L. Vasquez: So, anyway... uh... enough of that comedy bullshit... I'm here with some news for you all. First of all, that little VCW World Title match with the Grave Digger and Tony Garcia that was planned... it ain't happening. We called it off, in honor of Tony Garcia's title win celebration party. So cross that off the sheets, it ain't happening.

Lorenzo Vasquez stops briefly and reaches into the duffel bag, then pulls out a clipboard with a piece of paper on it and hands it to Rebecca Black.

L. Vasquez: Second of all... this part kills me. The injury report. Read them the injury report from last night.

Rebecca Black smiles, then grabs the microphone with a look of relief and looks at the clipboard with a smirk on her face. They've got the injury report... that's why it's not in the offices! They must have intercepted it...

R. Black: All right... I'll skip to the important ones. David Wright Hubbard sustained more severe bruises and tears to his right knee... he'll be out for at least a week or two.

Lorenzo Vasquez goes into a fit of snickering at that announcement, and Rebecca Black's smirk gets broader, as the crowd boos. This is sick... after all the disgusting garbage we've seen from these two, they seem to be continually trying to outdo themselves...

R. Black: Sandis Arlington... coming off of a humiliating submission loss to Troy Black... has sustained some severe trauma to his right elbow and shoulder... he'll be out for a week or two also.

Lorenzo Vasquez chuckles at the news, and Rebecca Black surpresses some giggles of her own. The crowd boos loudly... this is just crass and pathetic. And furthermore, Sandis Arlington didn't lose to Troy Black last night... the match was a sixty-minute draw! What are these two trying to do!?

R. Black: But this is the best... this is the best... Stacey Lockman. After taking a devestating inverted piledriver from our man, "The Barcelona Assassin" Lorenzo Vasquez... several of the vertebrae in her neck were... were... bruised and severely compressed...

Rebecca Black lowers the microphone as she begins laughing, and Lorenzo Vasquez nearly doubles over in hysterics. The crowd continues to boo loudly. These two are... come on, somebody backstage should have cut their microphone several minutes ago. Rebecca Black wipes a tear from her eye and regains her composure, to continue.

R. Black: Wait, it gets better. She doesn't have any feeling below the waist... and... and... doctors say that there's a relatively small chance that she'll ever be able to walk again!!

Lorenzo Vasquez collapses to the mat, laughing uncontrollably and clutching his sides, as Rebecca Black doubles over from laughter herself. This is just disgusting... the crowd's boos get even louder, indicating clearly that none of them find any humor in this. Rebecca Black raises the microphone again...

R. Black: And... and the general consensus is that... get this... she'll be a paraplegic for the rest of her LIFE!!

Rebecca Black barely gets the sentence out before she loses control, falling to her knees and holding her sides as she laughs uncontrollably, and Lorenzo Vasquez convulses on the mat in hysterics. The crowd continues booing, no doubt wondering when somebody will FINALLY get rid of these two... wait, someone stepped out of the backstage area!! It's VCW Commissioner, James Applebee! He has a microphone, and the crowd cheers... no doubt, he's here to break up this disgusting, pathetic spectacle, and it's about time! Lorenzo Vasquez and Rebecca Black sober up pretty quickly in the ring, as James Applebee directs a stern, disapproving glare at them and raises the microphone to speak.

J. Applebee: Lorenzo Vasquez... what in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost do you think you're doing!? I just got off the phone with some network people, and I don't know who you think you are, but one more word out of you that doesn't belong on the air, and you won't be making fun of Rick Clark... you'll be asking his boss for a job, because you sure as HELL won't be working here!

The crowd bursts into cheers, but Lorenzo Vasquez just gives him a dismissive wave and grabs the microphone from Rebecca Black.

L. Vasquez: Nice try, your Majesty... but I'm Lorenzo Vasquez. You can't touch me.

J. Applebee: I just got off the phone with a few V.E.E. executives who're under a different impression. And while I'm clearing up these misconceptions, let me deal with another one. Contrary to what you just said, Tony Garcia WILL be defending the VCW World Title against the Grave Digger, one-on-one, tonight... or I'm stripping him of that title and putting it on the line in an eight-man tournament at Disaster Area, and don't think I won't do it!

L. Vasquez: No, your Excellency... you don't get it. The Digger doesn't WANT his title shot. All he wants is Troy Black's money. Nothing doing, my friend. Swear to God, your Lordship.

J. Applebee: Well, then... if he's going to be that unprofessional, I guess I'll just have to void his VCW contract.

The crowd cheers, but Lorenzo Vasquez just shrugs his shoulders dismissively.

L. Vasquez: Fine. Absolutely beautiful. You go ahead and do that, your Highness. Knock that big piece of flea market crap off the roster. We're done with him.

J. Applebee: All right... and while I'm at it, cutting overpaid SMCW workers who have been unprofessional in the locker room lately... I think I can serve Amy Lin her walking papers too.

Rebecca Black flinches as if struck, and Lorenzo Vasquez's jaw drops, as the crowd bursts into cheers!

L. Vasquez: The hell you can! She's Troy Black's woman. Do you understand me!? Troy. Black. You know what "Troy Black" means? In your language, it means "God". You just CAN'T do it. You understand me!?

J. Applebee: I can, and I will... just try me. Go ahead backstage and ask the Grave Digger if he still wants his title shot, knowing what you know now. Maybe he's had a chance to change his mind.

Lorenzo Vasquez doesn't have anything to say in reply to that... he just stares down the aisle at James Applebee, fumbling for words.

J. Applebee: Furthermore, you probably offended nearly everybody in the arena with your drunken babble... but there's someone backstage who's particularly offended... specifically, offended by what you said, and more importantly what you DID to Stacey Lockman last night.

L. Vasquez: That little pussy Ken Collins wants some more? Bring it on. I'll beat the fuck out of him again, right here, right now.

J. Applebee: No... I'm sure Ken Collins is mad about what you did, but he's not here tonight. It's someone else that I think you might recognize...

Who could he be... "Big Shot" by Billy Joel kicks on over the arena sound system, and the crowd explodes into cheers! It's... it's "Pretty Boy" Jimmy Lockman, stepping out of the backstage area!! He steps out onto the ramp, practically glowing with rage, and yells "I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" loud enough for James Applebee's microphone to pick it up!! He charges the ring... and Lorenzo Vasquez snaps out of his wide-eyed stare and quickly drops everything and rolls out of the ring as Jimmy Lockman slides inside! Lorenzo Vasquez and Rebecca Black take off running down the aisle, with Lorenzo Vasquez stumbling and falling on his face a few times in the effort to get away from Jimmy Lockman!!

The legendary "Pretty Boy" Jimmy Lockman's here, in the ring, and Lorenzo Vasquez is literally falling over himself to get away from him!! Jimmy Lockman remains in the ring as Lorenzo Vasquez disappears backstage, with the crowd cheering loudly and chanting "JIMMY!", but he barely seems to notice them. His face is red and strained with anger... and he bends down and grabs the discarded microphone! He turns to face the backstage area, but Lorenzo Vasquez is already gone...

J. Lockman: LORRRENZOOOOOOO!!!! I want to tell you one thing right now, you son of a bitch! If I was still running this company, instead of that pantywaist Applebee over there, the H.A.R.P. Squad would have you in the back, fitting you for a pair of cement sneakers right now, pal.

The crowd cheers, and Jimmy Lockman paces in the ring, seeming ready to snap at any moment.

J. Lockman: Now, when it comes to what you did last night... after that, you ain't getting off that easy, my friend. Ken Collins is a great athlete, he's the future of this industry... but I don't give a damn what you do to him. That doesn't matter to me. But when you put your hands on Stacey... last night, after what you did to my little girl... so help me God, I've got one more match left in me, and I'm gonna tear you a new ass! I'm gonna break your neck, your fingers, both your legs... I'm gonna break every bone in your stinking body, you son of a bitch... after I'm done with you, you won't be going to the hospital... you'll be going to the funeral home, pal.

Jimmy Lockman violently hurls the microphone to the floor, and "Big Shot" by Billy Joel begins playing again as he climbs out of the ring and storms backstage. James Applebee meets him in the aisle and says something to him, but Jimmy Lockman just shoves him aside, then continues heading backstage. He had some strong, strong words of his own for Lorenzo Vasquez... and when Jimmy Lockman catches up to Lorenzo, it's highly doubtful that anybody will be laughing.

Some cheesy eighties rock music begins playing over the arena sound system, and we're going to kick off a great show with a less-than-great opening match, as Russel "The Muscle" Taylor and the Super Giant Ninja step out of the backstage area and head to the ring, slapping palms with the fans. Russel Taylor's smiling and full of energy as he jogs to the ring... while his optimism may be admirable, he's not successful by any stretch of the imagination. The Super Giant Ninja, lumbering to the ring while wearing a full ninja's hood and mask, is harder to read emotionally... but he's equally unsuccessful. However, given the opposition, even these two losers might have a chance to win tonight...

"Smells Like Nirvana" by Weird Al Yankovic begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd gives some lukewarm boos as the Middle-Aged Outlaws, Hunk Higgins and Ruby Richard Cage, make their way out of the backstage area, accompanied by Jesse Smark. Last night, they defeated Writer's Block after some highly bizarre circumstances that we're not even going to go into right now... not because it's complicated, but because nobody probably cares. Hunk Higgins is wearing a large kneebrace and walking with a limp, for some reason... but nevertheless, the Middle-Aged Outlaws climb into the ring and the usual posing ensues, then Ruby Richard Cage grabs a microphone.

R.R. Cage: You love me... you hate me... you'll NEVER get rid of me.

The crowd gives him a mild round of boos.

R.R. Cage: Dudes and dudettes, cats and chicks, and all you little kids out there, the baby boomer generation proudly brings to you the ONE-TIME! ONE-TIME! ONE-TIME! ... VCW TAG team CHAMPIONS of the WOOOORRRLD... "The Immortal" Hunk Higgins... Ruby Richard Cage... the MIDDLE-AGED OUTLAWS!!!

H. Higgins: And brother, if you're not down with that, we've got two words for ya... TOUGH CRAP!!

The crowd responds with another mild round of boos.

R.R. Cage: Yo, Higgins... I know you're my brother from another mother and all, but I gotta ask, big man... what's with the kneebrace and the limp? You're not actually selling an injury, are you?

H. Higgins: Well, ya know somethin', Mister Cage... I know you know that I'm your brother from another mother, brother, and I've gotta say, I love you like a brother, brother. So I'm gonna come straight and tell you what happened. Last night, those no-good stinking cowards we ran out of this sport forever threw me out of the ring like the gutless pieces of slime they are, and I blew out a knee, brother. But that's all right, because all the Hunkamaniacs know who the man is... they all know where the power lies, and when I get in the ring with that white-faced painted-up coward Sting at Starrcade, when I put this title on the line--

R.R. Cage: No, man. No. Besides... you always blow out a knee when someone throws you out of the ring. You've never sold it before.

A sudden light of realization dawns on Hunk Higgins's face.

H. Higgins: You're absolutely right, big man. I talked to my personal trainer, Doctor Harry Hancock, and he was trying to pull the wool over my eyes, brother... Hunkamania's operating at full force after all, and don't let anybody tell you different. So, Russel, Ninja... what'cha gonna do when the full-powered knees, the forty-two inch ANACONDAS, and all the little Hunkamaniacs RUN WILD ON YOU!?!?

Hunk Higgins tosses aside the microphone, and the Middle-Aged Outlaws begin brawling with Russel Taylor and the Super Giant Ninja as Brendan Powers enters the ring, calling for the bell to begin the match!

Middle-Aged Outlaws
w/Jesse Smark

vs.

Russel "The Muscle" Taylor & Super Giant Ninja

Some terrible brawling ensues for a few moments, with neither team managing to keep the advantage for long. Finally, Hunk Higgins, who continues to limp severely despite his claims, is caught by Russel Taylor's Power Bomb, but kicks out at two and begins Hunking Up, going on an offensive tear... but when he goes for a big boot, his non-injured knee surprisingly gives out on him, and he starts flopping around on the mat in pain. Russel Taylor quickly bodyslams him, then covers for the three-count.

Russel Taylor and The Super Giant Ninja defeated The Middle-Aged Outlaws when Russel the Muscle pinned Higgins after a bodyslam in 0:01:14.
Rating: -**

Hunk Higgins is rolling around on the mat in pain still, clutching his other knee... did he blow THAT one out, too!? Russel Taylor, ever the good Samaritan, cuts short his victory celebration to signal for the trainers, then crouches at Hunk Higgins's side and begins consoling him. A medical crew's on the way, to tend to Hunk Higgins... but rather than to focus on this career-threatening injury to a veteran of this sport, we're going to cut to a trivial backstage scene with Bass Rogers, courtesy of the Big Brother Production Team!

Backstage...

Bass Rogers is sitting backstage with a bucket of fried chicken and a half-gallon bottle of Gatorade, in addition to his travel bag. He seems ready to eat, but first he reaches into the travel bag and produces a bag full of cotton balls and a bottle of rubbing alcohol. He dabs some of the alcohol on a cotton ball, then applies it to a small cut on his left arm, wincing slightly at the contact. With that done, he reaches into the chicken bucket and begins feasting... but that's interrupted as the dressing room door opens and Sophie steps in.

Sophie: Hi, I'm Sophie. You know, I hang around with "Double R" Rex Richards... the super-duper hunk of manhood that you're facing tonight. What'cha doing, anyway?

Bass Rogers looks up, his mouth half full of food, and immediately begins wrathfully bellowing at Sophie.

B. Rogers: I'm eating dinner, and I don't want none of your sneak attacks or dirty tricks. Get outta here before I scramble your face!!

Sophie: Really? It looks good. Can I have some? Pleeeeeeeease? I'll be your best friend forever and ever and ever and ever and ev--

B. Rogers: NO!! Get outta here, you little beanpole broad, or I'm gonna knock you on your ass!!

Sophie looks around carefully, then leans down and begins speaking a little lower as if confiding a secret.

Sophie: Well... ya know, the real reason I came here is because I heard you had a big bag of cotton balls, and I want some. See, Rex likes Komachi better than me right now, but I'm gonna stuff a bunch of cotton balls in my bra to make myself look even more babelicious than normal, so he can't resist my womanly charms, and I'll be his favorite again!

Bass Rogers grabs the bag of cotton balls and hurls it at Sophie violently, who barely manages to catch it.

B. Rogers: Yeah, yeah, I don't give a crap!! Take 'em, just get the hell outta my sight!!

Bass Rogers is growing increasingly agitated, but a smile of playful curiousity crosses Sophie's face as she picks up the bottle of rubbing alcohol. In the background, unseen by either of them, a man in a ninja's hood and mask peeks around the corner of the open door briefly, then turns and slips away quietly.

Sophie: What's this stuff? If you're not gonna share your dinner, can I at least have a drink of this stuff?

Bass Rogers quickly bolts up and swats the rubbing alcohol out of her hand, getting right in her face

B. Rogers: Hell no, you crazy bimbo!! That's rubbing alcohol! Drink that and it might kill you!!

A thoughtful, but still hopeful look crosses Sophie's face as she contemplates that information.

Sophie: Did you say it MIGHT kill me, or it WILL kill me?

B. Rogers: I SAID it might kill you! What's your goddamn problem!?!?

Bass Rogers's angry tone seems to be ignored as Sophie smiles with naughty intent.

Sophie: If it only MIGHT kill me, and it tastes really good... I think that's a chance I'm willing to take. How's it taste, anyway?

Bass Rogers, at the end of his patience, roars and charges at Sophie, swinging a massive fist. She screams and leaps back, avoiding the blow, but in so doing falls flat on her bottom on the floor. She quickly grabs the bag of cotton balls and scrambles out of the room as Bass Rogers stares angrily after her. On that note, the camera fades out on the backstage scene.

We're back at ringside, and it's hard to tell what to make of that... if Sophie was planning some sort of sneaky trick on Bass Rogers, it didn't seem to work at all. Was there any point to that? Perhaps not. But right now, we're ready to move ahead into our next match... and "What U Lookin' At" by Uncle Kracker begins playing first, heralding the arrival of Kid Rave, who's accompanied by Vickie Romano, Fred Errara, and Stormy Weathers, to a round of boos. As usual, Kid Rave is dressed with negative amounts of fashion sense... he seems to be wearing swim trunks with a bright pastel-colored floral Hawaiian print, a Harley Davidson T-shirt with a black tuxedo jacket over it, a bizarre country yokel's straw hat, and as usual, a pair of purple Nike high-tops. He enters the ring and grabs a microphone, and the crowd practically begins groaning in disgust already...

K. Rave: Yo, word up, dogs!? I'd like to give a shout-out to all my peeps, pimps, and playas up in here, and... and as for the rest of y'all, you're a bunch of punk-ass scrubs!! Y'all ain't down with the K-I-D like my boy Stormy. Yo, Stormy, word up, big pimp!?

Kid Rave turns and exchanges a weird, complicated "gang handshake" with Stormy Weathers.

K. Rave: All right, you people are probably wondering why I'm up in here tonight... I mean, instead of coming out with you ugly-ass bitches, I could be chilling in my crib, and that'd be bomb as hell... but naw, I ain't gonna do that. I packed up my game and headed out west, where they got these fucking women with they great big breasts... and now I'm finna let Califor-nye-A know why they call me a cowboy. Shooting with my gat, bullets hitting the glass... call me FAST, I'm the MASter of CAPPING THAT ASS!! I'm finna paint this town red, and paint the hoes white! AWW!! I'm the K-I-D, out on a robbing spree... a straight G, and y'all still don't know me!! Nobody butt fucks with me, I'm gonna slap 'em! Kid Rave in the house... I'M GOING PLATINUM!!

The crowd boos loudly as Kid Rave finally finishes his incoherent rambling, and Vickie Romano grabs the microphone.

V. Romano: THIS is a charismatic, motivated young athlete. Contrast that to the man he's about to face, Tim Bell... a thirty-something, washed-up boring relic of the days when people actually WANTED to see men in tights rolling around on the mat for twenty minutes. Quite frankly, I've got news for Tim Bell and all the other boring fossils in the VCW locker room... the future is here, and we're gonna make sure you guys finally go extinct like the dinosaurs you are!! We started by getting rid of Writer's Block... and we're not gonna stop until the young, motivated sports entertainers rule this company!!

"Through The Never" by Tim Bell begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd begins cheering as Tim Bell charges to the ring and slides inside. Linda Peterson enters the ring and calls for the bell, and this match hereby begins now!!

Kid Rave
w/Stormy Weathers, Vickie Romano, & Fred Errara

vs.

Tim Bell

Tim Bell takes the advantage from the opening bell and keeps it throughout the match, mostly due to the fact that Kid Rave seems more intent on throwing punches and doing stupid little jiggy dances than trying to actually wrestle. A few times, outside interference from Vickie Romano, Fred Errara, or Stormy Weathers begins to turn the tides, but each time, Tim Bell will use his skills to mount a comeback. Tim Bell has the match well in hand when Vickie Romano distracts Linda Peterson, and a dirty, overweight slob of a man climbs over the guardrail and slides into the ring, with a beer in one hand and a hairbrush in the other. He shotguns the beer, then grabs Tim Bell in a headlock and begins using the brush to brush his hair, but Tim Bell quickly puts an end to that by countering the headlock with a belly-to-back suplex, then pitches the man out of the ring. Kid Rave's waiting on Tim Bell when he turns around, and he doubles him over with a kick to the midsection. Kid Rave goes for the Bitch Slap, but Tim Bell squirms free and counters with a release German suplex, then puts him up top and hits the Top-Rope Frankensteiner as Linda Peterson turns around, then covers for the three-count.

Tim Bell defeated Kid Rave with the Top-Rope Frankensteiner in 0:07:13.
Rating: **

Tim Bell just beat Kid Rave, and now the H.A.R.P. Squad's out to escort the goon who ran in with the hairbrush to the backstage area. Tim Bell slides out of the ring and begins heading backstage as Stormy Weathers grabs a microphone.

S. Weathers: What in blazes was that all about!? Who was that asshole, and why didn't he do anything useful!?

V. Romano: Stormy... the finer points of sports entertainment continue to elude you. Quite frankly, it doesn't MATTER who that was. All that matters are the ratings. And if we continue to deliver shocking, unexpected surprises like that one in our matches, then people will always watch our matches, and we'll be the biggest draws in the company. Don't you understand!?

S. Weathers: Well... kinda, but we LOST this match, and that ain't good.

V. Romano: Stormy... winning and losing are pointless. If we're gonna get anywhere, the first thing you have to do is check your ego in at the door. If a wrestler isn't willing to put over the other stars in this company, then he can take his ego over to Titan Towers and ask them for a contract, because quite frankly I won't tolerate that kind of attitude, and I'll fire his sorry ass!

Stormy Weathers looks like he's about to say something more, but Fred Errara quickly shovels a handful of Viagra pills into his mouth and snatches away the microphone, then begins looking around with a lustful stare.

F. Errara: But when it comes to the ladies... I can afford to have a big ego, because that's not all that's big. See, when I do the horizontal tango, it's exactly like sports entertainment should be... they ALWAYS lay down for me, and they love it when I start SHOOTING on them!!

Fred Errara begins thrusting his crotch at the crowd repeatedly, and the crowd boos as two slutty-looking blond-haired women step out of the crowd, strip to their bra and panties, then begin walking backstage with them. Stormy Weathers shrugs his shoulders in resignation and helps Kid Rave to his feet, and now they're all heading backstage... finally. What a complete waste of time that was...

We're going to see something different now... two of the local stars from NCXCW are actually going to step into a VCW ring tonight and challenge for the VCW World Tag Team Titles! "Whiskey In The Jar" by Metallica begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd gives a mild response of cheers as "The Extreme Scotsman" James Duncan and "The Full-Blooded Irishman" Leon Rose, the team known as the European Connection in NCXCW, comes out of the backstage area. James Duncan is a large, blond-haired man, over six and a half feet tall, in a kilt and a flannel shirt, while Leon Rose, a few inches shorter than his partner but still large and powerful, is distinguished easily by his plain green wrestling singlet and fiery red hair. They enter the ring and pose, to another round of cheers and a mild "N-C-X!" chant. They've had some success in NCXCW, but tonight they're facing the newly-crowned VCW World Tag Team Champions...

"Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin begins playing over the arena sound system, and that brings out the champions, the team of Jacob Idol and Rob Solomon, accompanied by Jasmina Chastity, to a roar of boos from the crowd! They walk to the ring confidently, talking and joking with one another... Rob Solomon's got his hockey stick in hand, and he's twirling it around and showing off flamboyantly as they head to the ring. They stop to hand the VCW World Tag Team Titles to Jasmina Chastity, then grab microphones and enter the ring, motioning for the European Connection to step back and give them some time.

J. Idol: Last night... the Ontario Colour Show just got defeated AGAIN. The so-called greatest tag team in VCW history lost to us AGAIN. They've made it obvious that they can't compete on the same level as us, time and time again... and right now, we're done with them. It's over. In fact, we've taken out all the competition VCW has to offer. So we brought these NCXCW workers in to show everyone that we're fighting champions, and that we'll take on ANYBODY in this company or any other, with our titles on the line... anybody BUT the Ontario Colour Show. I saw it when I first broke up the Technicians, and I still see it now... Owen Addison and Paul Canyon are good, but they're just not good enough for me.

The crowd boos, and those boos continue as Rob Solomon raises his microphone to speak. It figures... the Ontario Colour Show came very, very close to beating them last night, and they don't want to offer a rematch now that they've got the titles in their grasp. Still, the Hammer of the Gods has been dominant, by hook or by crook, for the past several weeks...

R. Solomon: Yeah, no rematch for the Ontario Colour Show. They've taken my lariats on their chins more times than Jennie's taken it on the chin from Brujah, they've been flat on their backs for us more times than she's been flat on her back for them... you see what I'm getting at here? They're our personal bitches now. And they don't deserve another title shot. We'll give a title shot to anybody else... hell, we're even giving one to these two losers from NCXCW, and that's--

The European Connection looks up after that last remark, and they immediately spring into retaliatory action, jumping Rob Solomon and Jacob Idol from behind and clobbering them repeatedly. Bobcat McGavin slides into the ring and calls for the bell, and this match is now beginning!

For the VCW World Tag Team Titles:

Hammer of the Gods (Jacob Idol & Rob Solomon) (c)
w/Jasmina Chastity

vs.

European Connection

The European Connection members, a pair of burly powerhouses who are both well over two-hundred and fifty pounds, dominate the early portions of this match in a rollicking brawl, beating up their much smaller opponents. Jacob Idol and Rob Solomon use their superior wrestling ability and quickness to stay in the match and get in some offense, but the tide doesn't turn decisively until Jasmina Chastity trips James Duncan on the outside. The VCW World Tag Team Champions quickly take advantage of that, isolating him and working his leg, trying to keep him grounded. Not a bad idea, since James Duncan's only a couple inches and about a dozen pounds short of Crimson's size. After some leg work, Jacob Idol goes to finish him off with a half Boston, but James Duncan's able to drag himself to his corner and tag in Leon Rose. Leon comes in and goes on a tear, beating up both opponents, but when things look bad for the Hammer of the Gods Jasmina Chastity distracts Bobcat McGavin by pretending to begin to flash her breasts, and Rob Solomon takes the opportunity to grab his hockey stick and lay out both members of the European Connection with it. Jacob Idol follows that up with an inverted DDT on Leon Rose for the three count.

The Hammer of the Gods (Jacob Idol and Rob Solomon) defeated The European Connection when Idol pinned L. Rose after an inverted DDT in 0:08:32.
Rating: 3/4*
(The Hammer of the Gods retained the VCW World Tag Team Titles.)

After the match, Rob Solomon picks up Leon Rose and chucks him out of the ring to the floor, as Jacob Idol pulls James Duncan to his feet. Jacob Idol whips James Duncan towards Rob Solomon, and Rob Solomon cuts the big man down to size with a lariat!! They've already won the match, and now they're decimating the opposition even after it's over! The crowd boos, and Jacob Idol picks up a microphone again.

J. Idol: Damn... Julian was right. These NCXCW guys are worthless. But what do you expect? NCXCW's just a cheap imitation of VCW, and only a complete MORON could watch one of their shows and like it, because NCXCW SUCKS!

The crowd boos; this is pretty close to NCXCW territory, and they don't agree with those sentiments. Nevertheless, Jacob Idol and Rob Solomon are walking away from this one with the victory and the VCW World Tag Team Titles. One can't deny, though, that the European Connection gave them one hell of a workout tonight. But right now, we're going backstage to the celebration being held in honor of Tony Garcia's VCW World Title win! Let's go to that now...

Backstage...

Tony Garcia's sitting backstage on a leather sofa near Troy Black, with a huge catering table present full of food and drinks. To the other side sit Brujah and Jennie, quietly conversing with one another. Amy Lin walks to the sofa, with a glass of champagne in her hand, and sits down in the space between Troy and Tony, curling an arm around Troy and snuggling up to him.

A. Lin: Congratulations again, Tony... this is a great moment for all of us. But you'd think Rebecca and Lorenzo would be back by now, right? Maybe we should be watching the monitors...

T. Black: They probably got... sidetracked along the way. You know them, always getting sidetracked.

A. Lin: Sure... in the same sense that we got sidetracked a little while ago.

T. Garcia: Don't worry about it. Let the kids have fun. That's what tonight's all about... VCW belongs to me, and to all of us, and it's time to celebrate.

The door bursts open, and Lorenzo Vasquez and Rebecca Black dart inside, both looking rather anxious, and they quickly close and lock the door. Tony Garcia looks up, raising an eyebrow as they come in.

L. Vasquez: Damn, that was close! Crazy old man's trying to kill me!

T. Garcia: Oh, someone wants some of the Plague!? Who's giving you problems, Lorenzo? I think I need to do a little whacking on a human piniata tonight for the highlight of my party.

Lorenzo Vasquez opens his mouth to speak, but Rebecca Black elbows him, then steps forward instead.

R. Black: All right, listen to this. We decided to go out there... and he just completely LOSES it, and starts going on about Ric Flair and crap like that... and then he starts shooting on Johnny Smiles and telling us to cut the tape when the show's live... and then James Applebee came out to shut him up before he gets himself fired. He says you have to wrestle the Grave Digger tonight after all or he'll fire both the Digger and Amy... and then Jimmy Lockman comes out of NOWHERE and tries to kill us over what happened to Stacey last night.

Tony Garcia suddenly bolts up from his relaxed position, looking extremely agitated, and Amy Lin winces in disgust and shock.

T. Garcia: What!? I can't believe this... you just HAD to go screw everything up, didn't you!?

A. Lin: You stupid drunk motherfucker... If you get me fired, I'm gonna--

T. Black: Tony, Amy... don't worry about it. I'll have a talk with the Grave Digger and my accountants, and you'll WRESTLE the Grave Digger, all right. And Lorenzo... you're digging your OWN grave on this one. You can get yourself out of this, since you brought it all on yourself. I want you to go back to the hotel, take a nice twelve-hour nap, then call the offices in the morning and straighten it out.

L. Vasquez: Yeah... but what about Jimmy Lockman?

T. Black: Good luck getting yourself out of that one. You know what Dad would do if someone hurt Rebecca? You know what Tony would do if someone hurt his girls? Think about that, and maybe you'll realize just what you've gotten yourself into.

L. Vasquez: Aww, shit... y'know, maybe you're right, though. I'll go back to the hotel and think it over...

T. Black: Yeah, maybe you'd better. But first, go down to the boiler room and get the Grave Digger. We need to talk.

L. Vasquez: The boiler room?

T. Black: Yeah, the boiler room. I sent him down there because I didn't want him and Brujah to trash the party with some big brawl. Go down there and tell him that I need to talk to him.

Brujah's head turns as he hears his name mentioned, but he doesn't move from there. Lorenzo Vasquez nods, then backs away and slips out the door again, nearly colliding with Desmond, who steps in through the door as he steps out. Tony Garcia turns to fix him with a steely glare when he gets in.

T. Garcia: About time you got here. We've been waiting for you. Why don't you go ahead and explain to Brujah what you did for him last night?

Desmond: Well... okay, I guess.

Desmond steps towards Brujah, seeming a little hesitant, as Brujah gives him a questioning look.

Desmond: Brujah... you know, sometimes you've been winning a lot of matches, and sometimes I haven't been, and thats... well, last night, I didn't so much BEAT Salvaje Demonio as I did... um... fail to beat him entirely. Because of that, I'm afraid that the bookers said you're going to have to put the VCW Television Title on the line against him tonight in just a few minutes. I'm sorry.

Brujah pauses and raises his eyebrows incredulously as he gets to his feet, then smiles.

Brujah: Is that it!? You had me worried it was gonna be something BAD. Besides, you beat him half to death with a chair last night... all I have to do is finish the other half of the job. But if the match is starting in just a few minutes... I better get going.

Jennie stands up and steps forward, looking very out of place among the Black Plague.

Jennie: Do you... er... should I come out with you? For support and all?

R. Black: Don't worry about that, cute stuff. I've got it covered. Just hang out back here and get to know the guys a little better... but if you get to know Lorenzo too well, you better be ready to get to know me too, if you get what I'm saying.

Brujah: Actually... Rebecca, you stay back here. I'm taking Jennie out with me. Troy's gonna have a talk with the Grave Digger about tonight's... match, and I don't want Jennie anywhere near that big monstrosity. Stay back here and take care of the family business. Me and Jennie can look after ourselves.

Brujah straps on the VCW Television Title, puts an arm around Jennie's waist, and walks with her to the door. Rebecca Black stares after them, beginning to protest, but Troy Black puts a hand on her shoulder.

T. Black: Don't worry about it. He can do what he wants. Just as long as he stays out of tonight's title match, I've got it all taken care of.

T. Garcia: Yeah... take it easy... just relax, you know!? It's all good. This is still my celebration party, and if I don't see some partying going on here soon, I'm gonna put the screws to some people. Don't worry about nothing... Troy's got the plan. Now please, people... start having some fun!

The camera fades out on the celebration party as Rebecca Black shrugs and walks over to Amy Lin to begin chatting.

It looks like not all's well among the Black Plague on the night after Tony Garcia's title victory. But what's their plan for tonight's match where Tony Garcia must face the Grave Digger? We don't have time to dwell on that now... "Surfing With The Alien" by Joe Satriani is playing, and it's time for the title match they mentioned pitting Brujah against Salvaje Demonio! Salvaje Demonio climbs into the ring and poses for the crowd to a few rounds of cheers, still seeming a little sore and out-of-sorts after the beating he took from Desmond, and there's no question that he has another beating ahead of him in this match tonight, a beating he must survive in order to win the VCW Television Title...

"Woke Up This Morning (Chosen One Mix)" by Alabama Three begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd boos as Brujah comes out of the backstage area wearing the VCW Television Title, accompanied by Jennie, who's wearing the VCW T & A Title. The crowd's giving her a warm chant of "SLUT!", which seems to upset her... and Brujah pauses in the middle of his interest to yell at them and demand that they shut up, which of course does nothing to help the situation. Brujah enters the ring and climbs to the second turnbuckle, raising the VCW Television Title high in the air, then takes the belt off and gives it to Jennie before turning around to face Salvaje Demonio. Jerry Rogers enters the ring and calls for the bell, and that'll begin this match!

For the VCW Television Title:

Brujah (c)
w/Jennie

vs.

Salvaje Demonio

Brujah attacks Salvaje Demonio aggressively, but in spite of being a little bit slowed by the effects of last night's beating, Salvaje Demonio does very well for himself in the early goings of the match, using his superior wrestling ability to stay ahead of Brujah's aggressive, but relatively unskilled offense. Brujah just keeps getting up and relentlessly going on the attack, and enjoys a brief periods of dominance before Salvaje Demonio's skill turns the tide again. Salvaje Demonio dumps him to the outside and goes for a flying cross bodypress to the floor, but Brujah catches him out of the air, showing remarkable strength for his relatively unremarkable size, then takes him back-first into the steel ringpost.

Back in the ring, Brujah works over Salvaje Demonio for a brief period, but when he goes for the kill with a swandive headbutt, Salvaje Demonio moves, then capitalizes with a tiger driver for a near fall, then a fireman's carry into a flapjack. With Brujah down, Salvaje Demonio goes up for the Swandive Headbutt... but Jennie jumps up on the apron as Jerry Rogers checks Brujah! She hesitates, the look on her face showing obvious reluctance... but she shakes Salvaje Demonio's ankle, causing him to fall groin-first on the turnbuckle! Jerry Rogers looks up, oblivious, and Brujah gets to his feet, then brings Salvaje Demonio crashing down with a superplex! Salvaje Demonio throws a shoulder up at two and nine-tenths in the ensuing cover, but Brujah picks him up and nails him with the Power Bomb to finish him off for the academic pin.

Brujah pinned Salvaje Demonio with the Power Bomb in 0:08:44.
Rating: * 1/2
(Brujah retained the VCW Television Title.)

Salvaje Demonio is laid out, and thanks to a little help from Jennie, Brujah has once again defended the VCW Television Title successfully! He rolls out of the ring and grabs the title, then straps it on and returns to Jennie's side. They begin heading backstage together, and Brujah embraces Jennie, giving her a big kiss, as the crowd continues to boo, and renews their "SLUT!" chant. Jennie smiles with delight at Brujah, but can't surpress one last regretful look back at Salvaje Demonio in the ring before heading backstage.

Our next match will feature Rex Richards going one-on-one with Bass Rogers... but we have a camera backstage as Sophie returns to Rex Richards's side after her misadventures with Bass Rogers earlier this evening! Let's go to that camera now...

Backstage...

Rex Richards, Minako, and Komachi are shown backstage in a dressing room, as Rex Richards stretches in preparation for the upcoming match. As he's finishing up, Sophie walks into the room, thrusting out her chest (which seems to have grown considerably) as she steps inside.

Sophie: Hi, guys. Are we ready to take out Bass Rogers tonight?

R. Richards: Ha! I'm always ready, baby... I'm all fired up to teach that fat behemoth a lesson about who the baddest ass in VCW really is!

Sophie: Yeah, I think if we do our breast... er, our BEST, that this match'll be a piece of cake! And I really really like cake...

R. Richards: Good for you. Now, here's the important part... we need a plan. I want to outsmart him tonight, and I'm gonna need your help, girls.

Sophie: So I guess you could say we're gonna set a... um... booby trap for him, right?

R. Richards: Yeah, that's right. Now, Minako... your job is to distract Bass Rogers or the referee, maybe both, with your sexy feminine wiles. Komachi... your job is to use brute force and attacks to weaken Bass Rogers when you get an opening. And Sophie... I want you to stay out of the way and not do anything retarded that ruins the plan. Everyone got it!?

Komachi: It will be done.

Sophie: Whoo-hoo!! That's a GREAT plan, Rex! You're-- HEY!! I don't get to do anything! That's not fair!!

Sophie's expression goes from delighted, girlish excitement to a pouty, hurt stare immediately, but Rex Richards doesn't seem to care.

R. Richards: Yeah, it is. What can you do? You can't hurt Bass Rogers... you're not strong enough!

Sophie: Yeah, but I've got lots of feminine willies, just like Minako, see! Don't I look... tittillating?

Sophie throws out her chest in an even more exaggerated way as she sucks in her stomach, looking like a human pigeon in the process, but Rex Richards remains unswayed.

R. Richards: Sophie, you stupid little slut, quit acting like a geek and let's get going! You're gonna make me late!

Sophie: But... but... don't you notice anything different about me today, Rex!? Look!

Rex Richards stares at Sophie, squinting, before frowning and shaking his head. Behind the whole crowd of them, the door cracks open, and a man in a ninja suit peeks inside, then closes the door again quietly.

R. Richards: I'm looking, and all I see is some scatter-brained bimbo who's about to make me late for my match!

Sophie: But... Rex, don't you see!? I stuffed a bunch of cotton balls in my bra to make my boobs look bigger so you'd like me! I did it for YOU, because you're so special--

R. Richards: SHUT THE HELL UP!! I don't have time for this kind of crap! I don't care if you shoved a live scorpion up your ass, I ain't gonna be late for my match! Now cut the bullshit and let's get going!!

Rex Richards grabs Sophie by the arm and opens the door, then begins hauling her down the hall with him, with Minako and Komachi walking at his side.

Sophie: Owww!! That hurts!! Rex, that's my arm!!

R. Richards: It's gonna be your ASS if you made me late for this match! Walk faster!!

Rex Richards, Sophie, Minako, and Komachi disappear down the hall as the camera fades out on the backstage scene.

At ringside, "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye has been playing for several seconds now... and finally Rex Richards steps out of the backstage area, walking quickly while pulling Sophie behind him, as Minako and Komachi walk at his heels. They all climb into the ring quickly as the crowd boos, and Rex Richards takes off his robe and begins to pose... but no spotlight comes on! Instead, "War Machine" by KISS begins playing, and it looks like Rex Richards's tardiness has caused him to miss his chance to do his usual pre-match posing! He takes off his sunglasses and directs an angry stare at Sophie, then turns to face the backstage entrance as Bass Rogers steps out of the back to a roar of cheers! He begins jogging to the ring, and climbs inside... and the brawl's beginning! Brendan Powers enters the ring and calls for the bell, and we've got a match!

"Double R" Rex Richards
w/Minako, Sophie, & Komachi

vs.

Bass Rogers

Bass Rogers quickly takes command of the opening brawl, with his vastly superior size and strength. It soon becomes apparent that Rex Richards's usual tactics aren't going to work against an opponent as large and strong as Bass Rogers. Gouging, punching, kicking, and some basic slams and suplexes take Bass Rogers down a few times, but he keeps going strong, and dishes out more powerful versions of many of the moves Rex Richards just used on him! Komachi slows Bass Rogers down with a trip on the outside, enabling Rex Richards to get a few minutes of offense in against him, but Bass Rogers still makes a powerful recovery and takes Rex Richards down, then begins going for the kill. He gives Double R a massive belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall, then hits a running powerslam, but Minako distracts the referee. Komachi slides in to do some dirty work, but Bass Rogers blocks a spray of blue mist by putting a hand over his eyes, then knocks her off her feet with a blindly swung lariat! He turns around... but Sophie just went up to the top turnbuckle! She leaps off for a flying hurricanrana, but Bass Rogers catches her and powers her up, then DRILLS her into the mat with a sickeningly stiff power bomb!! He turns around, and so does Brendan Powers... but Rex Richards catches Bass Rogers with a low blow, then small packages him for the three-count!!

Rex Richards pinned Bass Rogers after a small package in 0:06:12.
Rating: -*

Rex Richards quickly rolls out of the ring, then drags Sophie out after him, as Komachi and Minako join him at his side. A few cotton balls fall out of Sophie's shirt as she's pulled to the floor, evidently dislodged by the power bomb. Rex Richards plants a kiss on Komachi's painted cheek, then looks down at Sophie's unconscious form with disdain and hauls her up half a foot or so above the ground by the back of her shirt, dragging her backstage in the same way one would drag a dead cat. Bass Rogers is up in the ring, yelling and pointing at Rex Richards angrily... but someone's coming out of the crowd behind him!! It's Jack Norman, and he's carrying a chain!! Jack Norman slides into the ring with a chain in his hands, and Bass Rogers turns around... and Jack nails him square in the head with the chain!!

The crowd's booing loudly, and Bass Rogers is laid out... Jack Norman stands over him triumphantly, pointing down at him, then turns and starts walking backstage as well. Speaking of goings-on backstage... we have Ziggy Adderloaf backstage with the Ontario Colour Show, the former VCW World Tag Team Champions who will face Crimson and "Macho Man" Randy Savage in a match coming up next. Take it away, Ziggy!

Backstage...

Ziggy Adderloaf is standing backstage with Tim Bell, and the Ontario Colour Show, Owen Addison and Paul Canyon. There seems to be a good deal of tension in the room, and even Ziggy seems a little hesitant to speak.

Z. Adderloaf: Owen Addison... Paul Canyon... last night, you lost the--

O. Addison: Stop right there. We didn't LOSE a damn thing. We were ROBBED. That little bitch Jennie screwed us out of the VCW World Tag Team Titles, just like she screwed Tim Bell out of the VCW Television Title, just like she screwed Brujah and probably half the rest of the guys in the locker room. But that's fine... that's not gonna work twice. The Technicians are gonna get the VCW Television Title back, and we're gonna get the VCW World Tag Team Titles back too... and that road starts here, with our match with Crimson and the Macho Man. We're gonna show everybody that the greatest tag team wrestlers in VCW are more than a match for some redneck biker and an over-the-hill overrated brawler.

P. Canyon: You know... I don't think Jennie meant to cost us the titles.

O. Addison: Oh, you would say that, wouldn't you!? Listen, Paul... I respect you as an athlete, but you need to get your ducks in a row. We didn't get to be the best tag team in VCW history by kissing up to pretty girls or trying to show everyone our sensitive sides... we got there on two things. Ability and focus. And you... you're losing your focus. You need to shape up... because I NEED you out there. You're all that stands between me and a two-on-one beating, every time we go out there. I'm only one-half of the greatest tag team in VCW history... and unless you're focused enough to put your ability to its fullest use... the Ontario Colour Show is only half of what it should be.

She's probably blowing Brujah in a closet somewhere, and you try to say what she did and didn't mean to do... to hell with that. She's the enemy now. The ENEMY. See Rebecca Black? See Amy Lin? See Jasmina Chastity? That's what she is. Yeah, she has this nice ass, and a pretty face with a cute little smile... but as you saw tonight, as you saw last night, she won't hesitate to step in and cheat like a little whore to help her guy win a match. And so help me, I won't hesitate to Tombstone her ass right into the mat if she tries to interfere in one more of our matches. You're my partner... we HAVE to be able to trust each other. She's our enemy... we CAN'T trust her. You see what I'm saying?

Paul Canyon hesitates, then sighs.

P. Canyon: Yeah, I do. We've got a match with Crimson and Savage tonight... you can count on me. We'll win this match.

O. Addison: That's what's gonna get us back to the top... that right there.

Z. Adderloaf: So it seems you guys are ready to take on two of VCW's toughest men tonight! Any final comments from anyone here?

Tim Bell suddenly steps forward.

T. Bell: Yeah, Ziggy... I'd just like to say a thing or two. Over the past few nights, there's been a lot of unprofessional crap going on in this company, and it makes me a little uncomfortable. Guys like Rob Solomon and Lorenzo Vasquez think they have the right to say whatever they want on company time... guys like Sandis Arlington who come in right away and expect the world on a silver platter, then bitch up a storm when there's a speck of tarnish on that silver... it really bothers me. Ziggy... I've been at this for over ten years now, and I like to think I've always been a professional. But this is a business, not a three-ring circus, and for once I'd like to see it handled like one.

But while I'm on the subject of being a professional, there's one other thing I'd like to talk about... Lance Errington. He picked the wrong person to play his mind games with. I'm not just a professional in terms of my conduct... I like to think of myself as the ultimate professional wrestler. And what it means to be a professional wrestler is to be just that... someone whose job, whose life focus is based upon getting in the ring and defeating other men in wrestling combat. I've never been a pampered blueblood or a cowboy or a priest or a corrections officer gone bad or anything like that. I've never even been a great speaker or entertainer, I'll come right out and admit that, too. What I am, Ziggy, is a professional wrestler, and that means that my life is dedicated to taking other human beings apart inside a wrestling ring. Lance Errington can play his mind games and try to make me mad, because that's what he does... but I'm gonna drag him inside a wrestling ring and disassemble him piece by piece, because I'm a professional wrestler, and that's what I do.

Owen Addison and Paul Canyon give a thumbs-up sign to Tim Bell, nodding in approval, then step away to begin heading to the ring for their match, as the camera fades out on this backstage scene...

Backstage, Elsewhere...

... And into another backstage scene, as Crimson and "Macho Man" Randy Savage also begin preparing to leave for their match in a locker room. Again, there seems to be some tension backstage as the two men begin speaking.

R. Savage: Brother... before we go out there, I've just gotta say one thing. I know you didn't mean to hit me with the axe handle because accidents happen, but let's make one thing perfectly clear, yeah. Tonight, we don't wanna have any accidents, because if we have too many accidents, we might just have to have an accident of our own on purpose, and you wouldn't like that at all, yeah. Dig it?

Crimson: Yeah... I dig it. But let's clear one other thing up. I don't make accidents. What happened last night... that was Falcon's fault. Not mine. I don't make no mistakes... and if you can get along without making any mistakes either, then we'll be just fine. Otherwise... I think you're gonna be the one not liking what's gonna go down. You understand me!?

R. Savage: I understand, brother... and if you really don't make mistakes, this is gonna work just fine, yeah. Let's do it.

Randy Savage and Crimson turn and leave the room, as the camera fades out on the backstage scene again.

We're back in the ring area, and it seems like there's some tension among both teams, perhaps more between Crimson and Savage... but right now, "Until It Sleeps" by Metallica just started playing, and here comes the Ontario Colour Show, Owen Addison and Paul Canyon! Last night, they were defeated in a close match by the Hammer of the Gods' team of Jacob Idol and Rob Solomon... but despite Idol and Solomon's earlier refusal of a rematch, you have to believe that a win over two performers like "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Crimson will put them right into top contention for the titles! Owen Addison and Paul Canyon slide into the ring and pose on opposite turnbuckles to a loud burst of cheers from the crowd, then turn to await their opponents.

"Walk" by Pantera begins blaring over the sound system, and here come those opponents, Crimson and "Macho Man" Randy Savage, to a round of boos from the crowd. Both men are two of the most dangerous brawlers the world has ever seen, and former World Champions... the Ontario Colour Show will need to make good use of their highly-acclaimed teamwork skills and technical wrestling ability to hang in there with these two dangerous characters. Crimson steps into the ring, over the top rope, and Randy Savage climbs in after him. They're both waiting for a fight... but the wait's over, as Linda Peterson calls for the bell!

Ontario Colour Show

vs.

Crimson & "Macho Man" Randy Savage

Somewhat surprisingly, as the match begins the Ontario Colour Show manages to take control of their larger, aggressive adversaries, working around the size and power of Crimson and the experience and brawling ability of Randy Savage with a lot of quick technical wrestling, high-flying, and quick tags, to gain the early advantage. Crimson's power and Randy Savage's experience occasionally nets them a brief advantage, but the Ontario Colour Show is always ready to capitalize on an opponent's mistake with a quick countermove or tag to the fresh partner, taking back the advantage. Frustration becomes increasingly evident among Crimson and Randy Savage as the match wears on and they can't seem to keep either of their opponents down long enough to do some serious damage.

That changes, however, when Owen Addison sends Crimson to the floor, then follows him out with a flying clothesline from the top turnbuckle... only to be caught by Crimson, then dropped throat-first across the guardrail. Crimson brutalizes him on the outside of the ring, then takes him in, and Crimson and Randy Savage finally isolate Owen Addison and begin working over his back. Eventually, Owen counters a chokeslam attempt with an armbar takedown into an armbar, and Crimson's stuck in the middle of the ring... but he crawls to the corner and tags in Randy Savage. Crimson refuses to leave the ring, however, and rather than let his partner be double-teamed, Paul Canyon comes in to join the fray as well!

The ensuing chaotic brawl, rather than favoring Crimson and Randy Savage, turns the tide in favor of the Ontario Colour Show, as they take both opponents down repeatedly. Paul Canyon sends Crimson to the outside, then leaps out onto him with a flying dropkick that sends him crashing into the guardrail! Meanwhile, inside the ring, Owen Addison goes in for the kill on Randy Savage with an attempt at the Tombstone, but Randy Savage squirms out behind him, then hits him with an atomic drop! He follows with a piledriver for a near fall, then goes up to the top turnbuckle... FLYING ELBOWDROP!! But on the outside of the ring, Crimson's got a chair! Linda Peterson's trying to talk him out of attacking Paul Canyon with it, and she doesn't see Randy Savage's cover on Owen Addison! Randy Savage gets up and goes over to the ropes, then starts admonishing Crimson... and they're arguing instead of focusing on the match! But Paul Canyon comes in from the side and takes Crimson down with a dropkick to the knee, and Owen Addison crawls up and rolls Randy Savage up from behind... and Linda Peterson turns and counts three! Owen Addison just defeated Randy Savage!!

The Ontario Colour Show defeated Crimson and Randy Savage when O. Addison pinned Savage after an inside cradle in 0:12:58.
Rating: ** 1/4

Owen Addison quickly rolls out of the ring to join Paul Canyon on the outside... but Crimson's up, and he's looking around angrily... and now he's climbing in the ring! The Ontario Colour Show's headed backstage, but Crimson's in the ring as Randy Savage gets up! They're staring at each other, arguing... and now it looks like they're coming to terms, as Randy Savage sticks out a hand, and Crimson takes it... then throws the other hand out and wraps it around his throat! He lifts Randy Savage for the Chokeslam... but he sets him down!! The camera catches Crimson saying "You just remember that..." to Randy Savage, and Savage just nods, glaring at Crimson as he mutters a few words in reply. Not all's well between these two dangerous brawlers, but they're heading backstage together now.

In the backstage area, we've received word that there's a camera on Robert Danson and Moy Lazzario, two men who weren't so successful last night at No Quarter. Let's go to that now, before we get to our next match...

Backstage...

Robert Danson and Moy Lazzario are sitting backstage, having a conversation in one of the locker rooms. Despite their lack of recent success, they seem quite enthusiastic about something as the camera joins them.

R. Danson: I tell you, that's a really great idea. I should have thought of that myself! We're gonna be stars this time... yes indeedy.

M. Lazzario: Heck, who can resist!? Sure, I've had some bad ideas before--

R. Danson: Like teaming with Mongo McMichael, dressing Tony Garcia up as Santa Claus, losing to Melissa DelArmeggio in a submission match, and calling yourself "Stone Cold" Moy Lazzario and trying to out-brawl David Wright Hubbard, for instance?

M. Lazzario: Yeah. But this time, we're onto something.

Nicole enters the room and moves to sit down beside Robert Danson.

R. Danson: There you are, my dear. I've been terribly worried about you. Last night... did you... well, I mean, was anything... er... did Dave Adams behave himself last night?

Nicole: Yes, actually. It wasn't too bad at all.

Robert Danson's eyes narrow as he looks at Nicole.

R. Danson: ... You're sure?

Nicole: Let me put it to you this way. He didn't ask me to do ANYTHING that I didn't want to do.

Robert Danson just smiles, as a look of relief crosses his face.

R. Danson: Righty-ho. Glad to hear it. Now... would you like to hear of an idea that Moy Lazzario and myself have made up? It's gonna take my career straight to the top.

Nicole: Umm... sure, I guess.

R. Danson: Get this... we're gonna take that whole quasi-Midnight Express thing that we had going on in the Immortals, and improve upon it. You're looking at "Marvelous" Moy Lazzario and "Beautiful" Bobby Danson, the New Immortals!

Nicole: Oh, God... Robert, that's just...

R. Danson: Brilliant? Yes, I thought so too. A work of genious? Don't thank me, thank Moy Lazzario. It's his idea.

Nicole: Err... right.

R. Danson: Oh, and we'll have to turn heel, too. But I'm sure that'll be easy. We'll just start following all the local sports teams in the towns we go to, and complain about how much they all suck. BOOM! We're an instant overnight sensation in VCW!

Nicole: Are you sure about this?

R. Danson: This'll be great, just watch. Oh, and since we're heels, you should start acting like a sultry, seductive wench. So put on too much makeup and wear tighter clothes like you used to, and tease the crowd. Oh, and you should carry around... let's see, tennis racket's been done, and so's the hockey stick... ah!! I've got it! A croquet mallet! Carry around a croquet mallet, and we can cheat and give our opponents a sound bludgeoning when we're in trouble.

Nicole: ... Right. One more question.

R. Danson: Sure.

Nicole: Are you out of your mind!?

R. Danson: No, no I'm not, actually. Thanks for asking, though. In any event, we'll get booked on next week's show, and our path to superstardom will begin!

Robert Danson and Moy Lazzario exchange excited smiles, and Nicole just sighs and shrugs her shoulders as the camera fades out on the backstage scene.

That was... strange. But we're we're going into our next match now... "Degenerated" by the Lone Rangers just kicked on over the arena sound system, and... Johnny Smiles and Marty Jannetty are coming out together!? This is a rare occasion... the champion and challenger in a VCW Intercontinental Title match are both coming out together! Johnny Smiles is wearing one of Lorenzo Vasquez's "Barcelona Assassin" T-shirts, and they're talking and joking and interacting with the fans as they come to the ring. They certainly don't seem like opponents tonight as they enter the ring, and Johnny grabs a microphone.

J. Smiles: HEEEEEEEEERRRRRRE'S JOHNNY!!

The crowd cheers wildly for the catchphrase.

J. Smiles: And here's Marty, too.

The crowd gives a lesser pop for Marty Jannetty, who smiles and waves to them.

J. Smiles: You know... something funny happened today. I left for the arena, and I forgot to clean my laundry. Now, since I'm not normally one to air dirty laundry in public, because it's smelly and nobody likes that, I decided I'd do something else... I'd actually buy a T-shirt from the concession stands. But when I went to go do that, I discovered to my dismay that there weren't ANY of my T-shirts left there... because all of you Johnnycoholics had beat me there and bought them! So, since my T-shirts were all sold out, I asked the man at the stand to give me something else, something that wasn't selling so hot... and he gave me a Heavy Metal Express T-shirt. And I told him... no offense, Marty... that I wasn't THAT desperate.

Marty Jannetty laughs in spite of himself and punches Johnny Smiles on the shoulder lightly, but Johnny Smiles doesn't even acknowledge it with more than a brief glance.

J. Smiles: See what I mean? None of Marty's stuff EVER gets sold. But anyway, then the guy told me about the sale on Lorenzo Vasquez's T-shirts, and I figured that since Grandma Smiles needs some fabric to cut up to make a new quilt anyway, I might as well buy one and help get some of them moving off the shelves. I figured you might like to know that... and maybe some other people would, too.

The crowd cheers, and Johnny pauses briefly, stepping around in the ring.

J. Smiles: So, tonight we're here to have a match... I'm putting the VCW InterJohnnynental Title on the line against my good friend, a former VCW InterJohnnynental Champion himself, Marty Jannetty. This time, we'll leave the barber shop windows and sleazy girlfriends out of it, and it'll be man to man, champion against challenger, the hero to all of the Johnnycoholics against... well, Marty Jannetty. So let's get it on, and remember... keep it clean. No, really, keep it as clean as possible, because this is the only clean shirt I have right now.

Johnny Smiles and Marty Jannetty slap each others palms high in the air, and Bobcat McGavin steps into the ring and calls for the bell, beginning this match!

For the VCW Intercontinental Title:

Johnny Smiles (c)

vs.

"The Heartbreak Dude" Marty Jannetty

The match begins with a surprisingly proficient display of technical wrestling from both men. They each seem to know quite well what the other one's planning to do before it happens, and that's not surprising; they've faced each other several times before, and they've fought together as friends and allies for a long time as well. Marty Jannetty surprisingly takes the advantage after several minutes, and the match goes to the outside, when Johnny spills out of the ring and Marty leaps out after him with a flying cross bodypress from the top turnbuckle to the floor. They begin brawling, and the brawl spills into the crowd, where Johnny Smiles is handed a fan's soft drink and uses it to slosh Marty Jannetty. Marty Jannetty calls for a drink and does the same to Johnny Smiles, and they do this back and forth until they're both completely soaked. So much for keeping clean...

The brawl makes its way back into the ring area, and Johnny Smiles takes control, tossing Marty Jannetty into the ring, then reaching under the ring and pulling out... a foam baseball bat!? He slides into the ring as Marty gets up, and clobbers him with the bat repeatedly! Marty staggers around with the blows, more from the impact than from any force that the worthless foam bat has behind it, and finally Johnny tosses the bat to Bobcat McGavin, then holds Marty Jannetty in a full nelson, offering Bobcat McGavin a free hit! Bobcat McGavin shrugs, then hauls off and nails Marty Jannetty in the midsection with the foam bat! Marty Jannetty immediately goes into a wild, out-of-control oversell, doubled over clutching his midsection while hopping up and down like a kangaroo on LSD... and Johnny Smiles takes the bat, measures him, and drops him with a shot to the forehead!

With Marty Jannetty down, Johnny Smiles peels off his cola-soaked shirt, shrugs, and tosses it to the crowd, then goes to the second turnbuckle, raises his hands into the air with his fingers bent into some weird sign, then yodels loudly and comes off with a legdrop... but Marty Jannetty rolls out of the way! That little Matt Hardy imitation didn't work out so well for Johnny... and Marty Jannetty starts stomping the mat, warming up the band for the Sweet Chin Music, but when Johnny Smiles gets up and Marty goes for the kick, Johnny Smiles ducks, then drills him with a kick to the midsection! Johnny goes for a power bomb, but Marty Jannetty counters that with a Frankensteiner for a two count! A swinging neckbreaker from Marty keeps Johnny on the mat, and Marty rolls out of the ring, and brings in a table!

Marty Jannetty sets the table up in the ring, then places Johnny Smiles on the top turnbuckle and goes up after him... he's looking for a superplex through the table, but Johnny shoves him off! Marty falls off the top turnbuckle, but doesn't quite land on the table... but as he gets up, Johnny comes off with a flying cross bodypress... but Marty catches him!! POWERSLAM THROUGH THE TABLE!! Marty Jannetty covers and hooks a leg, and Bobcat McGavin counts... but only gets two and three-quarters! Marty Jannetty almost won the title! Johnny Smiles begins getting up, and Marty Jannetty measures him for the Sweet Chin Music, stomping the mat again... but Johnny ducks the kick once again, and goes for a kick to the midsection, but this time, Marty catches his foot... Johnny goes for an enzuigiri, but Marty ducks! Johnny quickly springs up after the missed enzuigiri, but Marty gives him a knee to the midsection, then goes for the Rocker Dropper! Johnny Smiles backdrops out of it, but Marty Jannetty flips over, and launches a clothesline at Johnny... but Johnny ducks and scoops Marty across his shoulders as the motion carries him over, then spins and drops... SMILEDRIVER!! Johnny Smiles covers Marty Jannetty and hooks the leg, and that gets three!

Johnny Smiles pinned Marty Jannetty with the Smiledriver in 0:10:18.
Rating: ** 3/4
(Johnny Smiles retained the VCW Intercontinental Title.)

The crowd's cheering wildly after that ending exchange, and Johnny Smiles gets to his feet, then helps Marty up, and they both take a bow to a renewed burst of cheers from the crowd. Johnny Smiles won this match, but it looks like both men enjoyed their time in the ring. In between the silliness they showed us some wrestling skill that we don't often see from them. Johnny grabs the VCW Intercontinental Title and hands it to Marty briefly, who begins playing it like an air guitar while headbanging and sending drops spraying everywhere from his cola-soaked hair, then Marty hands the title back and the two friends make their way backstage, with the crowd's cheers following behind them.

"Calling Dr. Love" by KISS begins playing, and the lingering cheers are replaced by boos as "Doctor" Dave Adams comes out of the backstage area, along with Nurse Vivacia. He defeated Robert Danson last night, but tonight, he sure has a much bigger task ahead of him. Nevertheless, he seems cocky and confident as he comes to the ring and climbs inside, then calls for a microphone. The crowd continues to boo him as he raises the microphone with a cocky smile, and Nurse Vivacia cuddles up against him.

D. Adams: Last night... I defeated Robert Danson to earn twelve hours with the lovely Nicole, and as she told Robert Danson earlier... I didn't ask her to do anything that she didn't already WANT to. But you should understand that it's a rare person who doesn't want to achieve ultimate sexual satisfaction... and I have to say, Nicole's not so rare in that regard.

The crowd boos... Robert Danson, being the clueless goofball that he is, probably isn't any the wiser. Dave Adams's smile only grows broader as he looks around at the crowd.

D. Adams: Tonight, I'm going to continue my carnal conquests by earning the love of not one, but two women... the delectably diabolical Rebecca Black, and the sensationally sexy Amy Lin. How do I plan to do that, you ask? Just like I put down Robert Danson to get to Nicole... tonight, I'm going to take out Troy Black, and show his sister and his lover why I am the man too wild even for their dreams, the orgasmic overlord who can do things to their body that nobody else can even contemplate. So Troy Black... get out here, and bring your female followers... their heavenly fulfillment awaits in this very ring.

Suddenly, the lights are replaced by dim silver-blue lights, and "Favorite Things" by Incubus begins playing over the arena sound system... and Troy Black steps out of the backstage area, to a huge round of boos from the crowd. He's walking to the ring with purpose, accompanied by Amy Lin and Rebecca Black... and Dave Adams is staring at him with a hostile smile, still not seeming to realize just what he's gotten himself into. Troy Black climbs into the ring... and Jerry Rogers enters the ring to officiate as this match begins!

Troy Black
w/Amy Lin & Rebecca Black

vs.

"Doctor" Dave Adams
w/Nurse Vivacia

Troy Black unleashes a flurry of buzzsaw-like offense on Dave Adams, just completely destroying him from the opening bell. Dave Adams tries to fight back, but even the low blows and eye gouges he throws out only turn the tide for a moment before Troy Black comes back and continues annihilating him. After a few minutes, Troy Black seems ready to put Dave Adams away, and Nurse Vivacia desperately shoves him off of the top turnbuckle on a Black Dagger attempt. Rebecca Black and Amy Lin quickly descend upon Nurse Vivacia and begin assaulting her two-on-one, but in the ring Dave Adams is able to capitalize and hit Troy Black with the Treatment... which gets a count of two on the ensuing pin attempt. Dave Adams hits a DDT... and that also gets two. Looking desperate, Dave Adams pulls Troy up again and takes him down with the Doctor's Orders... but this time he doesn't even get a chance to go for the cover before Troy sits up! Dave Adams drops to his knees and begins begging for mercy, but Troy Black gives him none, and a kick to the midsection is followed by a double arm DDT, then the Black Dagger to finish.

Troy Black pinned Dave Adams with the Black Dagger in 0:02:45.
Rating: ** 1/4

Dave Adams has been laid to waste in the ring, and on the outside of the ring, Rebecca Black and Amy Lin have reduced Nurse Vivacia to a bleeding, motionless heap with their two-on-one assault. Rebecca Black kneels over her and licks at the streaks of blood running down Nurse Vivacia's face, then licks her lips and kisses Amy Lin on the cheek, leaving a bloody imprint of her lips on her face... and Amy just smiles. Inside the ring, Troy Black has climbed up to the top turnbuckle, and he nails Dave Adams with a second Black Dagger, then rolls out of the ring to join Rebecca and Amy in leaving the ring area and going backstage. They just made an example out of Dave Adams and Nurse Vivacia, who are completely destroyed in their wake.

Some trainers are coming out to tend to Dave Adams and Nurse Vivacia... but "Perfect Strangers" by Dream Theater just kicked on, and here comes Lance Errington! He steps out of the backstage area to a loud round of boos, then looks down at Dave Adams with pity and contempt as the trainers carry him from the ring. As Dave Adams and Nurse Vivacia are hauled away, Lance Errington grabs a microphone.

L. Errington: Poor idiot. I told him that there's more to life than cheap sex and fun and games... but he had to learn the hard way. Just like I did. I think that by nature, the human race is not only cruel and sadistic, but stupid as well. They refuse to learn from the teachings of wiser people, instead choosing to ruin their own lives by making the same ill-fated choices that many, many men have made before him. Tim Bell... for instance. He wouldn't be told the truth, but had to see it with his own eyes. When I told him Jennie was with Brujah, he didn't want to listen. But now he has to. He accuses me of playing mind games, when he's the one trying to intimidate me with a speech about being a professional wrestler... like I'm just an amateur doing this in my spare time on the weekends.

Regardless, like so many people before him, Tim Bell had to learn the truth of just how screwed the world is for himself... just like I'm sure all of you will. But as I look around at all of you people, at this sea of failure who bought wrestling tickets tonight to escape temporarily from the mess they've made of their lives, into our world of glamorous carnage... I see that you're all just one step away from having your illusions broken. Maybe your boss'll fire you and you'll end up without a home as a consequence of always living two payments behind on the rent... maybe your wife will leave you to become a lesbian, and force you to return to the bars desperately looking for a second-hand soulmate... whatever the case may be, you're all one tragedy away from learning that our world is a hard, unforgiving shithole populated with self-serving parasites. One tragedy away from becoming just like me.

The crowd boos loudly as Lance Errington pauses, pacing around the ring briefly.

L. Errington: I learned the truth not too long ago. I had a special person who I would have given the world for... Lady Erica Whitmore. She fell in with the wrong people and started associating with lowlifes like Gabriel Black and Falcon, taking on their habits and their twisted, degenerate sense of morals... but that didn't matter. In my eyes, she was still everything worth living for. I tried to save her from what she was becoming... and she stabbed me in the back to be with her lowlife friend Falcon as a show of gratitude. She showed me that trust and love are myths, and that the real nature of sentient humanity is to serve yourself without regard to other people. When you live in your mind and you think that it's real, you can't begin to understand... but when you're still awake at four in the morning, tossing and turning on a cold concrete floor, trying to work up the courage to put an end to your misery... you'll know how I feel. Even when I do sleep, she's there... in my dreams and in my mind, hitting me with that wrench endlessly, grinding the knife into my back... and the pain won't end until my life does.

I could almost feel sorry for Tim Bell, knowing what it's like to be stabbed in the back by someone you trust... but instead it gladdens me. Like all the rest of you, I'm a sick, twisted person who gets off on seeing the pain of other people... and watching Tim Bell's descent into enlightenment has been very intriguing. But tonight... I face my original source of pain. Once again, it has been decided that I will face Falcon and Erica. Another man might feel fear at facing the source of all misery in his life... but me, I feel only anticipation. They can't do anything more to me, they can't possibly add to my already infinite suffering... but I haven't even scratched the surface of their ability to suffer.

Lance Errington tosses the microphone aside, seemingly more out of apathy than anything else, and leans against the ropes... and now "Shame" by Rollins Band is playing over the arena sound system, and here come Falcon and Lady Erica Whitmore! The crowd cheers loudly, but they're both staring into the ring at Lance Errington with horror and revulsion. This new side of Lance Errington clearly frightens them... but Falcon's headed to the ring anyway! He slides inside and begins talking to Lance Errington, maybe trying to reason with him... and Lance Errington kicks him in the midsection, then begins assaulting him with punches! Brendan Powers enters the ring and calls for the bell, and this match is on!

Falcon
w/Lady Erica Whitmore

vs.

Lance Errington

The opening minutes of this match are too close to call. Both men clearly know each other very well from their many feuds and battles, and both are extremely accomplished brawlers and technical wrestlers who can take to the air when they need to. Lance Errington's perhaps a little more devious and underhanded, but Falcon makes up for that with quickness and enthusiasm that Lance Errington seems to be lacking. After a few minutes, Falcon takes the edge, fighting Lance Errington with a mixture of revulsion and lingering animosity from their days as old rivals, trying to weaken him enough to put him away. But when the match spills to the outside, Lance Errington reverses a whip to the guardrail and the course of the match changes, with Lance Errington taking a dramatic lead with ruthless attacks on the outside.

Back in the ring, Lance Errington begins working over Falcon's right knee, no doubt wanting to set him up for the Scorpion Deathlock. It's perhaps a wiser move than the obvious choice of attacking his back, as Falcon's back is nearly at full-strength by all accounts, and he'd be prepared that sort of assault after enduring it so much lately. After a few minutes of domination and focused attack, Lance Errington goes in for the kill with the Scorpion Deathlock, slapping it on in the middle of the ring! Falcon fights it, and a long, hard struggle ensues... but Falcon finally makes it to the ropes. Lance Errington refuses to break, though, and Brendan Powers threatens a disqualification, but Lance Errington doesn't even seem to care about that! Desperately, Lady Erica Whitmore jumps up on the apron, pleading with Lance to let Falcon go... and he does! He stands up, staring at Erica... and he releases a primal sound between a snarl and a yell and rushes at her, nailing her with a stiff right hand that catches her right on the left eye!

Lady Erica Whitmore falls off of the apron to a heap on the floor, clutching her face and begging for mercy... and Lance Errington continues to stare out at her, shouting incoherently at her with unbridled rage! But behind him, Falcon's up on his feet... and he looks fairly enraged himself! He comes up from behind Lance Errington and gives him a low blow, then follows that with a Falcon Arrow!! Lance is down... but Falcon looks out at Erica's fallen form and back at Lance Errington, then pulls him up and drills him with a second Falcon Arrow!! But he's still not done... he pulls him up, then gives him a THIRD Falcon Arrow! Lance Errington is completely motionless on the mat, and Falcon covers for the academic three-count!

Falcon pinned Lance Errington with the Falcon Arrow in 0:14:15.
Rating: ** 1/2

Falcon slides out of the ring to help Erica to her feet and console her... her left eye's swelling considerably, and she seems a little off-balance as she stands up. Falcon takes one look at her, then starts back towards the ring with malice in his eyes again... but Erica grabs his hand, and she seems to be talking him out of it. They're leaving... and it's probably a good thing for Lance Errington, who's still not moving. The Falcon Arrow is one of the most dangerous moves in this business, approaching moves like the Destiny Driver or the backdrop driver in terms of lethality... three of those could have already injured him, but any further abuse could make an injury inevitable.

As the trainers come out for Lance Errington, we've got Ziggy Adderloaf backstage with Tony Garcia, Rebecca Black, and the Grave Digger, right before their big match! Will their plan be revealed? Will Brujah come into play on any of this!? Maybe we can find out before the match! Ziggy, take it from here!

Backstage...

Ziggy Adderloaf is standing backstage, dwarfed by the massive Grave Digger and Tony Garcia, the VCW World Champion. Rebecca Black is with them, smiling with knowing anticipation. Despite his obvious uneasiness around the two big men, Ziggy Adderloaf gamely begins to speak.

Z. Adderloaf: I'm here with our new VCW World Champion, Tony Garcia, as well as Rebecca Black, and his challenger for the evening, the Grave Digger. Tony... I have some big questions, but first, I have to know... you've been a World Tag Team Champion, a North American Champion, an Intercontinental Champion... you've held a lot of titles in a lot of promotions. But this is your first World Title in singles action. How does it feel to finally wear the big belt?

T. Garcia: This is every wrestler's dream, Ziggy. Being where I am now... twenty-five years of busting my ass and a lot of other people's asses in the making. For twenty-five years, I've been hungry... now, for the first time, I feel full. This belt... it makes me feel complete, Ziggy.

Z. Adderloaf: Congratulations, Champ, on your victory last night. Now, I have to ask you... this is an internal conflict in the Black Plague, and we've been hearing about some sort of plan concocted by Troy Black for this match... what's going on? What's the plan?

T. Garcia: You know, Ziggy... sometimes this is a political business. There are some people in the wrestling world who want to see one thing happen, and some people that want to see another thing. You can't please all the people all the time... but I ain't in the business of trying to please nobody. Tonight... the only plan is that two big, powerful men are gonna go out there and give it their all for the biggest prize in this business. If this young lion has it in him to knock off the reigning King of the Jungle, then more power to him... I'll be wanting my rematch, but still, that'll mean that for this moment in time, he's the MAN. But if old Tony still has enough left in him to hold on tonight... then my reign as VCW World Champion has just begun. And that's the plan.

Z. Adderloaf: Okay! Ladies and gentlemen, that match is coming up NEXT!! Let's get to the ring!

The camera fades out on the backstage scene.

We're ready to begin... but can they be trusted when they say that the plan is to have a fair, even competition? We'll find out in a matter of seconds... "Wait And Bleed" by Slipknot begins playing over the arena sound system, and that brings out the Grave Digger to a chorus of boos from the crowd. He's an impressive specimen, all right... seven feet two inches tall, with shoulders as wide as a barge... if this match really is on the up-and-up, he can be expected to give the VCW World Champion one hell of a fight... perhaps even to win the title! Let's not forget that the Grave Digger has been a World Champion before... he held the SMCW Triple Crown World Title for a number of months, and may have been the most dominant champion in SMCW history!! It's a very real possibility that he could capture the gold tonight, if this is legit...

But as the Grave Digger enters the ring, "I, Zombie (Europe In The Raw Mix)" by White Zombie begins playing, and here comes the new VCW World Champion, Tony Garcia! He made David Wright Hubbard tap out in the middle of the ring last night for this title, and this may just be the beginning! Despite the Grave Digger's impressive size and accomplishments, Tony Garcia is a powerhouse monster in his own right, and he has twenty-five years of experience behind him, twenty-five years of decimating nearly everything in his path. Tony Garcia may not be an icon, he may not be a multi-million dollar superstar... but he's an institution of this business, a dangerous man who's left a trail of victims behind him for a quarter of a century.

Also... there may be nothing to this, but it should be noted that Rebecca Black's coming to the ring with him, and not with the Grave Digger. She's carrying his wooden axe handle, and she smiles at him as he takes off the VCW World Title and hands it to her. Tony Garcia's stepping into the ring now, standing forward and facing the Grave Digger... and he only comes up to his chest! The Grave Digger's a little more than a head taller than Tony Garcia, but Tony Garcia is still fearlessly staring up into his masked face. Linda Peterson enters the ring, and calls for the bell! This match is on, and the VCW World Title is on the line!!

For the VCW World Title:

Tony Garcia (c)
w/Rebecca Black

vs.

Grave Digger

Tony Garcia steps away from the staredown, smiling... and his smile quickly spreads into a grin, as he extends his hand and shakes hands with the Grave Digger. He looks at Rebecca Black, then around at the crowd, and back to the Grave Digger, smiling a knowing smile, as the Grave Digger just looks down at him emotionlessly! What the hell's going on here!? They're not attacking each other!! If this is a legitimate competition, then where's the competition!? The crowd begins to get the same idea, and starts booing loudly. Finally, Tony Garcia draws back a massive fist, clenching his knuckles tightly, then kisses his middle knuckle and draws back... and taps the Grave Digger gently on the chest!! BUT THE GRAVE DIGGER DOESN'T GO DOWN!! Tony Garcia looks around, confused, then taps the Grave Digger on the chest again... and he still doesn't go down!

Now Tony Garcia's mad, and he's yelling something at the Grave Digger... he draws back his fist again, and this time he unloads on the Grave Digger with a devestating right hand to the ribs, but the Grave Digger doesn't even flinch, except to shoot an arm out and grab Tony Garcia!! He has his throat!! CHOKESLAM!! The Grave Digger just chokeslammed Tony Garcia!! Rebecca Black jumps up on the apron, screaming wildly... and the Grave Digger drills her with a massive punch, sending her flying back into the guardrail!! Tony Garcia's up... and the Grave Digger picks him up, upside down! He has him... BURIAL!! He planted him with the Burial! The Grave Digger folds Tony Garcia's arms over his chest and kneels at his head, covering him, and Linda Peterson counts!! ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!! NEW CHAMPION!! THE GRAVE DIGGER IS THE NEW VCW WORLD CHAMPION!!

The Grave Digger pinned Tony Garcia with the Burial in 0:01:25.
Rating: DUD
(The Grave Digger won the VCW World Title.)

The crowd explodes into cheers as the Grave Digger stands up... he just turned against the Black Plague and Tony Garcia, and the crowd's loving that! But the cheers turn to boos as familiar figures appear at the top of the backstage entrance... it's Troy Black, flanked by Brujah and Desmond!! Troy Black motions for Brujah and Desmond to attack... and they're charging the ring! They slide inside and begin assaulting the Grave Digger two-on-one... but one at a time, the Grave Digger doubles them over with massive blows to the midsection, then lifts them simultaneously by their throats... DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!! He just destroyed both Brujah and Desmond with one massive double chokeslam!!

Brujah and Desmond are laid out, along with Tony Garcia... and the Grave Digger's pointing down the ramp to Troy, then motioning for him to get in the ring!! The crowd explodes into cheers, but Troy's eyes widen, and he quickly begins backing up the ramp, shaking his head and mouthing "NO"... he's retreating! Troy Black's backing down from the Grave Digger... but someone comes out of the backstage area behind him!! SANDIS ARLINGTON!! Sandis Arlington's out behind Troy Black, and his right arm's covered in tape... but he's holding a chair! Troy Black turns around... and Sandis flattens him with a massive chairshot!! Sandis Arlington just took Troy Black down with that devestating blow from the chair!!

The crowd's cheering wildly, but Sandis Arlington isn't done yet... he picks Troy Black up and drags him down the ramp, then rolls him into the ring with the Grave Digger!! Sandis Arlington turns and starts walking back up the ramp, as Troy Black gets up in the ring. Troy turns and begins yelling at Sandis... but the Grave Digger comes from behind and spins him around by the shoulder, then wraps a hand around his neck... CHOKESLAM!!! The crowd erupts into deafening cheers again as the Grave Digger chokeslams Troy Black, but he's picking Troy up again... BURIAL!! Troy Black just got driven head-first into the mat, and he's not moving!! The Grave Digger has turned against the Black Plague, destroyed them nearly single-handedly, and won the VCW World Title, all in one night!! What could the future hold for VCW!? We're out of time!! Join us next week and find out!!

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