LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW!!

Welcome, once again, to another VCW pay-per-view spectacular! Tonight's event is going to be a big one! This is the final pay-per-view event before Wrestlewar! You've seen the Waste-of-Time, you've heard the hype, and now we're about to get down to the action! We'll start off with a somewhat unique concept: a Falls Count Anywhere, Anyone Counts Pinfalls Match between Jeremy Tellier and Tommy Hustle!

First of all, "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam begins playing, and the crowd boos as Jeremy Tellier comes out of the backstage entrance! He has a scowl plastered across his youthful-looking face that makes him look like a fifth-grader whose parents wouldn't buy a Grand Theft Auto game for him. Nevertheless, he stalks down to the ring, snatches a microphone, and raises it as he climbs inside.

J. Tellier: You know, it's just ridiculous that Tommy Hustle's fighting to shut ME up. He's fighting so that MY voice can't be heard, fighting to keep ME down! And that's not right. Look, I'm not six foot four. I'm not two hundred and eighty pounds.

A fan yells "NO SHIT!" from the front row, and Jeremy Tellier stops and glares at him for a second.

J. Tellier: I'm not the prototypical professional wrestler. In order to make it as far as I have, I've had an uphill battle. I've worked harder than any of you could even IMAGINE working. The effort and dedication I bring to my quest for stardom EACH and EVERY DAY is COMPLETELY FOREIGN to the capacity of your minds. So when Tommy Hustle comes out here to shut ME up, because he doesn't like what I'm saying... he's not the good guy. NOBODY in the wrestling business has worked as hard as me! NOBODY in the WORLD works as hard as me!! And because of my hard work, I have EARNED the RIGHT... I am ENTITLED to SAY and DO ANY DAMN THING I WANT!!

The crowd boos loudly, and a chant of "WHERE'S MY PAPER?" starts up for him. Jeremy Tellier takes a deep breath, then looks around at them.

J. Tellier: There, see? THIS is what I have to overcome: the preconceptions of a bunch of IDIOTS who show up to watch me work. I'M not the loser here! I'm doing what each and EVERY one of you WISHES you could be doing. I'M the one who's here in the ring on pay-per-view, and all you people can do is sit on your completely unathletic butts and try to get yourselves over by chanting something you think is witty. Well, guess what: that was cute the first time I heard it, SIX MONTHS AGO in San Francisco! Come up with something new, not something you read on the Internet about a different bunch of geeks doing somewhere else! You're PATHETIC!!

The crowd boos again.

J. Tellier: Look, all you people who bought tickets, who bought this on pay-per-view... let me clue you into something. You just shelled out at least thirty or forty dollars to buy membership in the lowest order of humanity outside of serial killers, child molesters, and Dallas Cowboys fans. You people PAID MONEY to see WRESTLING. Think about that. Star Trek fans make fun of you. People who watch anime tentacle porn make fun of you. People who dress up and pretend to be vampires make fun of you. You're the biggest NERDS in the world. Sure, I'm part of the show... but at least I walk out of here with a pocket full of YOUR money and the knowledge that I'm actually a gifted athlete who's doing something with his life.

The crowd boos again, and a "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" chant begins among the crowd and quickly grows loud. Jeremy Tellier glares at them again.

J. Tellier: And now you're resorting to profanity. That's REALLY classy. Let me tell you something: I'm not the only one who can hear you. You're showing the entire world how crude and vulgar you are, because this is on pay-per-view. If your ninety-year-old, devoutly religious grandmother happens to be channel-surfing and sees this, and you end up written out of the will, it's nobody's fault but your own!

The chant continues, and Jeremy Tellier sees a young girl, about thirteen years old, sitting in the front row, then steps out of the ring to look at her in disbelief.

J. Tellier: And look at THIS! There are KIDS in this audience! Do you people have any idea what you're doing to this impressionable, innocent little angel? How can you justify SOILING her ears with your FILTH?

When Jeremy Tellier approaches, the girl smiles, extends both middle fingers to him and yells "FUCK YOU, BITCH!" at him, to a HUGE pop from the crowd! Jeremy Tellier steps back, staring in shock for a few moments, as the crowd begins a chant of "SHE'S HARDCORE!". After a few seconds, he shakes his head and climbs back into the ring.

J. Tellier: I'd ask if you kiss your mother with that mouth, but I already know better: you pleasure her boyfriend with it. That's not acne on your face; they're herpes sores.

Jeremy Tellier stops to look around at the booing crowd again, then shakes his head in disgust.

J. Tellier: You know, you people--

"Stuntman" by 24-7 Spyz begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd gives a huge round of cheers as Tommy Hustle comes out of the backstage entrance! He quickly begins advancing on the ring, and Jeremy Tellier drops the microphone and backs up, shaking his head and raising his hands! Tommy Hustle slides into the ring, and Jeremy Tellier quickly rushes in and takes a swing at him, but Tommy Hustle blocks it, then returns fire with a punch of his own! Jeremy Tellier flies back and crashes to the canvas, then starts pulling himself up on the ropes, and Tommy Hustle comes forward and hits him with a big dropkick! Jeremy Tellier flies out over the top rope and crashes to the floor, and the crowd cheers loudly! Brendan Powers enters the ring and calls for the bell, and this match is on!

Jeremy Tellier begins to get up on the outside, but Tommy Hustle runs at him and leaps out over the top rope onto him with a CROSS BODYPRESS PLANCHA!! The crowd cheers, and both men go down, but after a few seconds Tommy Hustle pulls Jeremy Tellier up by the hair, drags him over to the guardrail, and holds him up in front of the young girl who he'd addressed earlier! She grins, then draws back and slaps him, and Jeremy Tellier flies backwards out of Tommy Hustle's grasp and crashes back-first against the ring apron from the blow as the crowd cheers! Tommy Hustle just grins, then pulls Jeremy Tellier up again, but Jeremy Tellier cuts him off with a low blow!

The crowd boos, and Jeremy Tellier waves dismissively at them, then turns and starts walking up the ramp. He gets about halfway up, but then Tommy Hustle gets up again and starts to give chase! Jeremy Tellier notices him running after him and takes off into a sprint himself, quickly disappearing backstage! Tommy Hustle chases after him, and now both men are out of sight!

We understand that we're going to try to get some cameras to follow Jeremy Tellier and Tommy Hustle, but in the meantime we're going to go ahead with our next match! If we get any updates on that match, we'll cut away to them on the ViolenTron, but the show must go on for the time being. Since pinfalls count anywhere, and anyone can count them, it's hard saying what could develop in that match.

But now, "Minstrel in the Gallery" by Jethro Tull begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd boos loudly as Monty Pompous and "The Brontosaurus of Love" Jockey Oldcastle step out of the backstage entrance. They begin walking to the ring, full of bravado and bluster. No doubt, they're both feeling confident going up against the Jolly Rogers, but the fact is that Nurse Vivacia has cost Jockey Oldcastle quite a few matches lately! We know she'll be at ringside, and there's a lot at stake: if the Jolly Rogers win, they can humiliate the Knights of the Squared Circle by making them wear demeaning costumes. But if the Knights of the Squared Circle win, they earn the services of Nurse Vivacia. Jockey Oldcastle and Monty Pompous get into the ring, and Monty Pompous strips down to his trunks and boots in preparation to wrestle.

But then "Calling Dr. Love" by KISS begins playing, and the crowd gives a somewhat halfhearted round of boos for "Dastardly" Dave Adams and "The Chief of Governors" Tom Guycot, the Jolly Rogers, come out of the backstage entrance, pushing a large wooden trunk with them! The trunk's at least six feet long, three feet wide, and three feet deep, and probably contains the costumes they'll be wanting to force the Knights of the Squared Circle to wear. They're accompanied by Nurse Vivacia, who's wearing a white robe that covers up most of her body. What she might (or might not) be wearing under that robe is anyone's guess, and Jockey Oldcastle seems to have fun taking guesses as he stares at her with a big, goofy grin! Nurse Vivacia just laughs to herself and exchanges a knowing smile with Dave Adams as they approach the ring. Dave Adams and Tom Guycot climb inside, and Brendan Powers calls for the bell again to begin the match!

Jolly Rogers
w/Nurse Vivacia

Tom Guycot steps out of the ring, and Monty Pompous starts to stop forward, but Jockey Oldcastle eagerly pushes him back, then steps forward himself to start off! Monty Pompous shrugs, and Jockey Oldcastle strides forward to lock up with Dave Adams... then immediately turns to Nurse Vivacia and says something to her with a big grin on her face. She giggles and says something back, but while Jockey Oldcastle's distracted Dave Adams comes from behind and rolls him up! Brendan Powers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And a frantic kickout at two and a half! Jockey Oldcastle just got distracted, and came within half a second of being pinned!

Jockey Oldcastle starts to get up, but Dave Adams opens up with a trio of right hands to the face, then kicks Jockey Oldcastle in the midsection when he makes it to his feet. Dave Adams goes to whip Jockey Oldcastle to a corner of the ring, but Oldcastle puts on the brakes, and Dave Adams can't move him! Instead, Jockey Oldcastle reverses and whips him to the opposite corner! Dave Adams slumps against the turnbuckles, and Jockey Oldcastle stares at him with a grin, then lumbers forward and charges in with an avalanche! But Dave Adams moves out of the way, and Jockey Oldcastle collides with the turnbuckles and staggers back! Dave Adams backs into the ropes and comes off with a leap to bring him down with a cross bodypress! Brendan Powers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And a kickout at two by Jockey Oldcastle!

Dave Adams hammers Jockey Oldcastle with four more punches as he gets up, but Jockey Oldcastle absorbs the last blow with a dopey look on his face, then reaches out and grabs Dave Adams's hair and nails him with a headbutt! Dave Adams goes down, and Jockey Oldcastle pulls him up and shoves him back into his corner, then tags in Monty Pompous! Monty Pompous eagerly comes in and drills Dave Adams with a forearm to the back of the head, then pulls him out and takes him to the mat with a bodyslam! The crowd boos, and Monty Pompous backs into the ropes and comes off to drop a knee on Dave Adams's shoulder, then covers! Brendan Powers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout at two by Dave Adams!

Meanwhile, Jockey Oldcastle steps down off of the apron and waddles around the ring to begin talking to Vivacia. She backs up, shaking her head, and Tom Guycot notices this happening nearby! While Jockey Oldcastle advances on Nurse Vivacia, Tom Guycot steps down and grabs a chair, then begins to stalk him! Back in the ring, Monty Pompous takes Dave Adams down with a snap mare, and Brendan Powers is watching the match, so he doesn't notices as Tom Guycot whacks Jockey Oldcastle square across the back with the chair! Jockey Oldcastle roars, staggers forward, and falls to his knees, and Tom Guycot immediately drops the chair and does his best to look innocent as Brendan Powers turns to see what happened!

Brendan Powers orders both men back to their corners, but while his attention's turned, Dave Adams turns the tables on Monty Pompous with a sudden eye gouge, then gets to his feet, kicks him in the midsection, and whips him to the Jolly Rogers' corner. Tom Guycot gets back up on the apron, and Dave Adams tags him in, and the two men both stand there and kick Monty Pompous in the midsection repeatedly until Brendan Powers orders Dave Adams out of the ring! Meanwhile, Jockey Oldcastle gets up, and after a longing glance at Vivacia, walks back to his corner.

Tom Guycot looks around at the crowd, then puts his hands over his ears and dances frantically from one foot to the other like that, as if he were standing on hot coals while somebody was blasting loud music nearby. Monty Pompous starts to get up, and Tom Guycot approaches and swings both his elbows forward at once, so that they smash Monty Pompous's head between them! Monty Pompous staggers back into the ropes, then staggers forward, and Tom Guycot does the same thing again, knocking him to the canvas! Tom Guycot bends down and grabs his legs, spins him around a few times in a giant swing, then suddenly stops it near the middle of the ring, turns him over, and locks on a Boston crab!

The crowd remains mostly apathetic, but Monty Pompous grits his teeth and plants his hands on the mat, then begins fighting his way to his corner. With his strength, he soon comes near, and Jockey Oldcastle eagerly tags himself in, then charges in and clobbers Tom Guycot in the back of the head! Tom Guycot falls forward, Monty Pompous rolls out of the ring, and Jockey Oldcastle pulls Guycot up, then grabs the back of his head and takes him head-first into the turnbuckle nearby! Tom Guycot flies back and crashes to the mat, then starts to get up, and Jockey Oldcastle grabs him and flings him right back down to the mat with a belly-to-belly suplex!

Jockey Oldcastle smiles, but he's already sweating and breathing a little heavily. Tom Guycot's laid out on the mat after those punishing moves, but before Jockey Oldcastle can come forward and finish him off, Nurse Vivacia climbs up on the apron and starts to pull at the edges of her robe! Jockey Oldcastle stops and stares, walking forward to get a better look, but Nurse Vivacia just giggles to herself and steps down when he gets near. Meanwhile, Tom Guycot gets back up, and when Jockey Oldcastle turns to face him Tom Guycot gives him a Tomahawk chop to the face! Jockey Oldcastle staggers back to the ropes, and Tom Guycot kicks him in the midsection, then whips him into his corner and follows him in wtih a kneelift! Jockey Oldcastle doubles over, and Tom Guycot tags in Dave Adams.

Dave Adams goes up to the top turnbuckle as Jockey Oldcastle staggers out, then comes off and drops him to one knee with a flying axhandle smash from the top turnbuckle! Even so, Jockey Oldcastle starts to get up, so Dave Adams stuns him with a kick to the midsection, gives him a blatant eye gouge, and then grabs him and tries for the DOCTOR'S ORDERS!! But Jockey Oldcastle doesn't even budge! Dave Adams grimaces, reaches down, and tries it again, but with no more success! He puts a hand to his back and staggers away, cringing in pain, and Jockey Oldcastle raises a meaty fist and hits him with a punch to the lower back that sends him to the mat! For all that Jockey Oldcastle has no athletic ability, he's hard to put away just because he's monstrously strong and too big to take most offense!

Dave Adams starts to get up, and Jockey Oldcastle grabs him and throws him down to the canvas with a bodyslam. He smiles at his handiwork and wipes his already-sweaty brow, then backs up into the ropes to prepare for the Big Splash! But Nurse Vivacia, once again, steps up on the apron and smiles to him, and he forgets all about executing the move to waddle over to her! She teases opening the robe once again, and Jockey Oldcastle stares stupidly and stands there encouraging her. But Dave Adams is up, and he comes from behind to nail Jockey Oldcastle with a jumping knee to the back! Jockey Oldcastle stumbles forward and knocks heads with Nurse Vivacia, knocking her off of the apron! He staggers back, and into a side Russian legsweep by Dave Adams that brings him down!

But now Dave Adams stops and sees Nurse Vivacia down, and he looks out to her with mild concern. She gets up, holding a hand over her face and saying something, distraught, as she reaches out to him with the other hand! Dave Adams takes her hand and helps her up onto the apron, and she puts her arms around his neck, then abruptly loses her balance and falls down, pulling him down throat-first on the top rope! Dave Adams turns and staggers away, clutching his throat, and Jockey Oldcastle is up now! Jockey Oldcastle cuts Dave Adams down with a clothesline, then moves on to the corner, where he knocks Tom Guycot off the apron with a big right hand! Then he turns back to Dave Adams, lumbers forward, and drops a big elbow on his chest! He covers, and Brendan Powers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!! Jockey Oldcastle just picked up the win here!!

Jockey Oldcastle looks up with a huge grin on his face; Nurse Vivacia just accidentally cost Dave Adams the match, and now she has to leave the Jolly Rogers for the Knights of the Squared Circle! Monty Pompous steps into the ring and puts an arm around Jockey Oldcastle to celebrate their triumph, but Jockey Oldcastle shrugs him off and steps toward Vivacia again, calling for her to get into the ring!

Tom Guycot gets up, climbs into the ring, and helps Dave Adams to his feet, and the two of them seem to be in a state of disbelief as they stare at their victorious opponents. Nurse Vivacia timidly climbs into the ring, eyeing Jockey Oldcastle hesitantly, and he's grinning and motioning for her to take off the robe! She shakes her head "no" with a worried look, but Jockey Oldcastle nods "yes" ... and Dave Adams and Tom Guycot exchange a glance, then rush forward and attack! Dave Adams opens up on Jockey Oldcastle with a series of right hands, and Tom Guycot begins frantically Tomahawk chopping Monty Pompous, backing him into a corner!

But their larger, stronger opponents don't go down easily, and Monty Pompous blocks a chop, then begins choking Tom Guycot, as Jockey Oldcastle absorbs the blows and floors Dave Adams with a big right hand of his own! Dave Adams gets back up and keeps fighting, but after losing this match he may not have enough left! However, Nurse Vivacia slowly slips out of the ring during this distraction, grabs a steel chair, and climbs back in. Jockey Oldcastle knocks Dave Adams down again, but again Dave Adams gets back up to continue the onslaught... and this time Nurse Vivacia HITS HIM WITH THE CHAIR!! WHAT!?

Dave Adams falls to his hands and knees, and Jockey Oldcastle lumbers forward and SQUASHES him down to the mat with an elbowdrop to the back! On the other side of the ring, Monty Pompous chokes Tom Guycot in the corner for a few more seconds, then kicks him in the midsection and throws him out of the ring to the floor. And now Nurse Vivacia throws off her robe, revealing a VERY skimpy sky blue bikini! The top consists of two silver dollar-sized patches of cloth held on by strips not much bigger than dental floss, whereas on the bottom, a similarly thin strip disappears between her shapely backside, only growing somewhat larger in the front to barely preserve her decency. She smiles and embraces Jockey Oldcastle, and the crowd boos loudly!

Monty Pompous looks on in approval, and Jockey Oldcastle eagerly slobbers on Nurse Vivacia's face with a clumsy, sloppy kiss, while his hands busy themselves groping her firm bottom and thighs. She jumps up onto him and tries to wrap her legs around his waist, but can't manage to do it, so instead he puts his hands under her thighs to hold her as she clings tightly to him with her arms. We have to face the facts here; what happened earlier wasn't an accident! For some reason, Nurse Vivacia has actually intentionally turned against the Jolly Rogers and cost them this match!

The crowd boos as Monty Pompous and Jockey Oldcastle leave the ring, and Jockey Oldcastle sweeps Nurse Vivacia up into his arms and begins carrying her backstage while she stares lovingly at him. Nurse Vivacia is leaving here tonight with the Knights of the Squared Circle, of her own doing, and the real losers in this situation have to be Tom Guycot and Dave Adams. After several seconds, they get up and begin dragging their sorry selves backstage... but suddenly, the wooden trunk they carried to ringside pops open, and Jeremy Tellier crawls out, holding something long and pink! He begins crawling up the ramp on his hands and knees, but Tommy Hustle pops out of the trunk, looks around, and comes after him! How the hell did THEY end up in that trunk!? Do we even want to know!?

Tommy Hustle approaches Jeremy Tellier and grabs him by the hair, but Jeremy Tellier turns and hits him in the midsection with the object he's carrying, which appears to be a large plastic vibrator, nearly ten inches long! Tommy Hustle doubles over, and Jeremy Tellier hits him across the back with it, knocking him to the ramp! And then Jeremy Tellier goes down, turns Tommy Hustle over, and covers him! Dave Adams and Tom Guycot are both watching the spectacle in confusion, and Tom Guycot goes down to make the count... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout at two! And since anybody can count the pinfalls in this match, that count was legal, and Tommy Hustle came a second away from losing!

Jeremy Tellier gets up and complains about a slow count, and Tom Guycot pumps his hand into the air three times, with one, then two, then finally three fingers raised, then throws up his hands, shrugs his shoulders, and shakes his head as if to say "Don't ask me, I don't know." Jeremy Tellier stares at him strangely, but Tommy Hustle's getting up again, and Jeremy Tellier panics and takes off running up the ramp! Tommy Hustle glares at him, then gives chase, and soon both of them disappear through the backstage curtain again! The Falls Count Anywhere match will continue, and we'll keep trying to get a camera on that action! Meanwhile, Tom Guycot and Dave Adams finally leave, and we're ready to move along.

"The Dance" by The Music begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd cheers as Pauline Vietjohn makes her way out of the backstage entrance and begins dancing her way towards the ring. She stops along the way to interact with a few fans, then slides into the ring and dances to her music for a little while before she gets serious and begins stretching and watching the aisle. She has to know that she has a huge, huge challenge ahead of her tonight, since she'll go one-on-one with Virginia. But after the brutality that Virginia and Komachi inflicted on Heather Dannon and Pauline Vietjohn over the past few months, we also know that she's looking forward to achieving a measure of revenge!

And now "Ballbreaker" by AC/DC begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd boos as Virginia walks out of the backstage entrance! She begins strolling towards the ring with a bored, unimpressed look on her face, and if she's taking Pauline Vietjohn lightly, she could be making a mistake. We know Pauline Vietjohn is ready and focused, but Virginia doesn't appear to be, and we know Pauline Vietjohn is much quicker and more agile. Nevertheless, Virginia's size advantage is undeniable as she casually steps into the ring and walks up to Pauline Vietjohn. Pauline says something to her, but Virginia just towers over her, smiling, then pats her on the head condescendingly. Pauline Vietjohn responds with a slap to the face, and immediately Jerry Rogers enters the ring and calls for the bell!

Virginia draws back, putting a hand to her face, then snarls and charges, but Pauline Vietjohn ducks a clothesline, then catches Virginia in the chest with a dropkick when she turns around! Virginia staggers back into the ropes, then lumbers forward, and Pauline Vietjohn dropkicks her in the chest again! Again, Virginia staggers back, and this time Pauline Vietjohn comes forward, tags her in the face with a series of ineffective-looking forearm shots, and tries to whip her into the opposite side, but Virginia puts on the breaks, then carelessly shoves Pauline Vietjohn down to the mat!

But Pauline Vietjohn pops right back up and charges in again, hitting Virginia with another flurry of loose forearms! Virginia absorbs the blows, then grabs Pauline Vietjohn by the throat with both hands and lifts her up! Holding her up in the air like that, Virginia turns to face a corner, then FLINGS Pauline Vietjohn through the air and into the corner! Pauline Vietjohn hits the turnbuckles back-first so hard that she flips head over heels over them and falls clear to the floor!

The crowd boos loudly, and Virginia smiles and steps out of the ring, then goes to the timekeeper's table and grabs a... cooler? Virginia pulls a bottle of Diet Coke out of the cooler, then flags down a food vendor in the aisles! Pauline Vietjohn starts getting up, so Virginia sets the Diet Coke aside and goes over and lifts her up in a Gorilla Press, then drops her throat-first on the guardrail! The vendor comes over, and Virginia gets a large, chewy pretzel from him, then goes back into the ring with her Diet Coke and pretzel! She turns to Jerry Rogers and yells "COUNT HER OUT!" and then leans back against the ropes, takes a bite of the pretzel, and washes it down with a drink of the Diet Coke!

Jerry Rogers begins his count, but Pauline Vietjohn begins getting up, then stares angrily into the ring at Virginia, who's still eating her mid-match snack! Pauline Vietjohn gets back into the ring, and Virginia takes a final swig of her Diet Coke, then tosses it aside and takes a swing at Pauline! But Pauline Vietjohn blocks it, then grabs Virginia by the head and pulls her down into a JAWBREAKER!! Virginia's head snaps up and she involuntarily spits a fine mist of cola into the air as she staggers back... and falls into the ropes, getting tied up in them! Virginia's stuck in the ropes, with diet cola dribbling down her chin, and Pauline Vietjohn slides out of the ring, grabs a chair, and slides back in!

The crowd goes wild, but Jerry Rogers begins threatening to disqualify Pauline Vietjohn if she uses the chair! Pauline ignores him and sets it up in front of Virginia, then runs into the opposite ropes, comes off, and springs off of the chair to fly through the air and catch Virginia in the face with a SPINNING LEG LARIAT!! Pauline Vietjohn goes out over the top rope and tumbles to the apron from her own momentum, but she just caught Virginia SQUARE in the face! It knocks Virginia free from the ropes, and she staggers forward... and FALLS FACE-FIRST ON THE CHAIR!! The crowd erupts!

Jerry Rogers takes the chair and throws it out of the ring, and Virginia starts to get up, but she's clutching her head, half-doubled-over and staggering around! Pauline Vietjohn gets up on the apron as Virginia staggers towards her, then leaps up to the top rope, springs off at Virginia, grabs her in mid-air and swings on her body to bring her down with a SPRINGBOARD SWINGING DDT!! The crowd gives a huge pop for that impressive move as Virginia is planted face-first to the canvas, and Pauline Vietjohn crawls across Virginia and covers! Jerry Rogers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THR... At two and three-quarters, Virginia throws a powerful shoulder up! Pauline Vietjohn came a quarter-second away from a HUGE upset!

Pauline Vietjohn crouches over Virginia and begins hammering her with repeated forearms to the head, but Virginia throws her off and gets to her feet. Virginia starts to advance on Pauline Vietjohn, but then stumbles and goes down to one knee, putting a hand to her head! She gets up, takes a wild swing that falls about three feet short of its target, and staggers forward, and Pauline Vietjohn backs into the ropes, then comes off with a spinning leg lariat that knocks her on her rear! Virginia seems to be knocked half silly after that huge series of impacts to the head she just took! She gets up again, and Pauline Vietjohn runs into the ropes and comes off with what seems to have been supposed to be a dropkick in theory, but one foot barely grazes Virginia's midsection as the other doesn't even get extended.

Virginia laughs to herself as Pauline Vietjohn scrambles back to her feet, and then she charges with a clothesline, but Pauline Vietjohn ducks under it, then hits Virginia with a dropkick that sends her staggering back-first into a corner of the ring! Pauline Vietjohn follows her in and mounts the second turnbuckle, then begins raining punches down on her head as the crowd counts along! But at eight, Virginia suddenly wraps her arms around Pauline Vietjohn, staggers out of the corner, and DRILLS her to the mat with a SPINEBUSTER!! The crowd boos, and Virginia falls forward to her hands and knees, shaking her head. After a couple seconds, she throws an arm over Pauline, and Jerry Rogers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THR... Shoulder up at two and three-quarters!

Virginia gets up, stumbles forward, and leans against the ropes, trying to clear some of the cobwebs out of her head. But Pauline Vietjohn also begins to stand, and Virginia backs into the ropes, then comes off with a clothesline that knocks Pauline Vietjohn down, even as Virginia stumbles and falls to her hands and knees! She shakes her head again, then takes a deep breath, snarls angrily, and signals that she's going to finish it! She pulls Pauline Vietjohn up into a standing headscissors, then lifts her for a power bomb, but Pauline Vietjohn unloads on her with a series of punches! Virginia wobbles, and then her legs melt underneath her and she falls to the canvas with Pauline Vietjohn straddling her face! Pauline Vietjohn cradles her legs, and Jerry Rogers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And a big kickout at two by Virginia!

Both women begin to get up, but Pauline Vietjohn's to her feet first, and she knocks Virginia on her rear with a kick to the head while she's getting up, then goes to a corner and climbs the turnbuckles! Virginia gets to her feet, but she's a little too late as Pauline Vietjohn leaps back off at her with the TWISTING MOONSAULT DROPKICK! Her aim's off-target, but Virginia dazedly staggers right into it and goes down hard! The crowd cheers, and Pauline Vietjohn covers her! Jerry Rogers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout at two and a half by Virginia!

Pauline Vietjohn gets up and steps out to the apron, then begins going up to the top turnbuckle again, but again Virginia gets up, and this time she staggers right into the ropes, shaking them as Pauline Vietjohn gets to the top! Pauline falls crotch-first on the top turnbuckle, then tumbles forward into the ring! Virginia stops to shake off some cobwebs, then stumbles towards Pauline Vietjohn, scoops her up, and brings her down on a knee in a huge backbreaker! The crowd boos, Pauline Vietjohn's spine appears to fold in an unhealthy manner, and Virginia goes for the cover! Jerry Rogers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Shoulder up at two and a half!

Virginia scowls, then gets up and lifts Pauline Vietjohn again. This time, she lifts her high over her head in a Gorilla Press, then yells in triumph and begins pressing her up and down to show off her power! But then she stumbles momentarily, and Pauline Vietjohn is able to slip out behind her and slide down her back! On the way down, Pauline Vietjohn grabs Virginia's hair and pulls her down into an INVERTED SITDOWN FACESLAM!! The back of Virginia's head bounces off of the mat, and the crowd cheers as Pauline Vietjohn pulls herself up, then points to the ceiling! Virginia's down, and Pauline Vietjohn steps out to the apron, then goes up to the top turnbuckle and comes flying off with the LEAP OF FAITH!! It connects, Pauline covers and hooks a leg, and Jerry Rogers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout at two and a half by Virginia again!

Pauline Vietjohn snarls in frustration, then crouches over Virginia and hammers her in the head with another flurry of loose forearm shots. She looks around for a second, at a loss for what to do, then steps out to the apron and begins heading to the top again! Virginia gets up, and Pauline Vietjohn leaps off at her with a flying axhandle, but Virginia lunges forward and knocks her clear out of the sky with a huge clothesline! Pauline Vietjohn crashes to the mat, and Virginia stumbles forward, catches herself on the ropes, and shakes her head.

But then Virginia gets her bearings, glares down at Pauline Vietjohn, and does a crotch-chop in the direction of her prone body. Pauline Vietjohn starts to pull herself up, but Virginia folds her up with a HUGE kick to the midsection, then scoops her up in a fireman's carry! She starts to spin her for the Virgin Sacrifice, but then stumbles a few steps, reels backwards, and FALLS INTO A CRUCIFIX!! Virginia kicks her legs dazedly on the mat, Pauline Vietjohn holds on desperately, and Jerry Rogers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!! The crowd ERUPTS!! What an upset!

The crowd cheers loudly, and Pauline Vietjohn stumbles forward, clutching her midsection, then looks up and raises a hand in the air in victory! On the mat, Virginia sits up, clutching the back of her head and staring in wide-eyed shock. When she realizes what happened, she yells "THAT'S BULLSHIT!" and stands up, then begins arguing with Jerry Rogers, still unwilling to believe that she just lost this match! Jerry Rogers is standing by his decision, though. Virginia took too many heavy impacts to the head early on in this encounter, and she still may not be coherent enough to realize exactly what happened!

We've just seen some great women's action, but before we go to our next match, we're going to take a look at a segment introducing a new female competitor who'll be taking part in a few VCW matches in coming weeks! Let's take a look at this promotional piece for a woman who's being billed as the Amazon Maiden! This... could be somewhat silly, but let's take a look anyway!

The first camera shot is a wide aerial view of a small, rocky Island in warm Mediterranian waters. In the background, haunting flute music plays. The camera zooms in rapidly to show an ancient Greek temple on the island as a deep voice booms over the situation.

Voice: Over two thousand years ago, a mighty culture of warrior women lived on a mythical island in the Mediterranian. Their grace and beauty were matched only by their deadliness in combat, and they ruled the fields of battle against the mightiest male armies.

The haunting flute music continues as the camera zooms in through the entrance of the temple. Inside, it's constructed of white marble and gold, with massive white marble pillars suspending the ceiling. Torchlight flickers and reflects off of the polished walls and floor as the camera zooms down the center, towards a throne at the head.

Voice: Now, two thousand years later, the myth becomes reality, and the legend returns to our modern world. The descendant of this ancient warrior culture ventures forth from her island home with an unquenchable hunger to dominate the fields of battle once more.

The haunting flute music rises in urgency as the camera approaches the great marble throne. On the throne sits a woman with naturally-tan, nearly golden skin and long, flowing golden hair. Tall, chiseled, regal, and athletic, she sits on the throne, wearing a white halter top with bronze rings woven into its trim, a bronze chainmail loincloth, and a white, feathery cape fastened with a bronze brooch. In her right hand she clutches a spear, seven feet long; at her left is a tall, narrow shield of bronze. Stormy Weathers steps from behind the throne, wearing a white cloak and grinning fiendishly.

S. Weathers: The Amazon Maiden is coming! The ultimate in female violence, and I'm bringing her to VCW! She's coming, people!

The Amazon Maiden sits expressionless on the throne, her face an emotionless mask of dignity, as Stormy Weathers gestures to her dramatically. But then Jeremy Tellier comes flying out from behind one of the curtains behind the throne, and falls in a heap at the feet of the Amazon Maiden. He starts to get up and crawl away, but Tommy Hustle comes out from behind the curtain, shaking out his fist, and grabs Jeremy Tellier and pulls him into a headbutt. Jeremy Tellier falls down, and Tommy Hustle covers him and stares at Stormy Weathers expectantly. Stormy Weathers shrugs, then drops to the ground and counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And Jeremy Tellier throws a shoulder up at two.

Jeremy Tellier gets back up again, and Tommy Hustle knees him in the midsection, then grabs him in a headlock and drags him off the scene. As they disappear off-camera, Stormy Weathers stares at them quizzically and scratches his head. After a few seconds, he turns back to the Amazon Maiden.

S. Weathers: But like ol' Stormy was saying... you best be ready! The Amazon Maiden's coming, bringing the secrets of her warrior culture, and NONE of the women in VCW are safe! Y'all are gonna learn to bow down to the NEW dominant female in VCW... the AMAZON MAIDEN!!

Stormy Weathers nods and rubs his hands together eagerly, and the camera fades out on the scene in the temple.

Putting aside the Amazon Maiden, who could prove to be a force to be reckoned with in VCW in spite of having Stormy Weathers as her manager, we have to wonder what in the heck Jeremy Tellier and Tommy Hustle were doing in that scene. They may be taking this Falls Count Anywhere match a little too far! In any case, the action will continue as we prepare to see our next match, a Street Fight between the two former members of Hell's Bikers!

"Highway to Hell" by AC/DC begins playing first, and Butch Manson comes out of the backstage entrance, pushing a wheelbarrow full of various weapons! We know he's ready to get his revenge against his former tag team partner, Jacques Normandy, who betrayed him at Spontaneous Combustion! Butch Manson makes his way to the ring, then climbs inside and raises a fist in the air to a mild round of cheers by the crowd. He nods, then steps out to the apron and watches the backstage entrance.

And then "Big Balls" by AC/DC begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd boos as "Hell's Musketeer" Jacques Normandy comes out of the backstage entrance, pushing a wheelbarrow full of Three Musketeers candy bars! His two fellow Knights of the Squared Circle were victorious earlier on, earning Nurse Vivacia's services, and we know they'd love a sweep in this match with a big Jacques Normandy victory. Butch Manson, at least, doesn't hesitate; he leaps down from the apron, grabs an aluminum trashcan lid out of his wheelbarrow, and charges down the aisle, then smashes Jacques Normandy over the head with it, knocking his hat off and laying him out on the ramp! Bobcat McGavin calls for the bell, although this match isn't in the ring yet... then again, it's a Street Fight, so there's really no reason not to start it now!

The somewhat flimsy-looking aluminum lid was bent nearly ninety degrees from that blow, so Butch Manson straightens it out, then whacks Jacques Normandy over the head with it again! Jacques Normandy goes down, and Butch Manson spitefully pushes over the wheelbarrow full of candy bars, dumping them to the ground, then pulls Jacques Normandy up by the hair and drags him down to ringside! Butch Manson takes Jacques Normandy head-first into the ring apron, then reaches into the wheelbarrow again and pulls out a steel chain! He wraps the chain around his fist, then grabs Jacques Normandy by the hair with the other hand and draws back to strike him, but Jacques Normandy suddenly comes to life and gives him a LOW BLOW! Butch Manson doubles over, grimacing in pain, and the crowd boos!

Jacques Normandy takes Butch Manson head-first into the ring apron and rolls him into the ring, then grabs a singapore cane from the wheelbarrow full of weapons and climbs in after him! Butch Manson gets up, and Jacques Normandy whacks him over the head with the cane! Butch Manson turns and staggers in a wobbling circle, and when he staggers back around towards Jacques Normandy he gets another shot to the head that knocks him off his feet! Jacques Normandy covers, and Bobcat McGavin goes down and counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout at two by Butch Manson!

Jacques Normandy rolls out of the ring, then reaches under the apron, grabs a table, and slides it in. He comes in after it and sets it up, then pulls Butch Manson up and whips him into the ropes, but Butch Manson reverses it! Jacques Normandy comes off the ropes, and Butch Manson lowers his head and BACKDROPS HIM THROUGH THE TABLE! Jacques Normandy crashes through the table and sits up, howling in pain, and Butch Manson crouches over him and hammers him with repeated right hands to the head!

Butch Manson pulls Jacques Normandy up by the hair again, then grabs him and tosses him out over the top rope to the floor! The crowd cheers, and Jacques Normandy tumbles to a heap on the floor, clutching his knee in pain! He may have wrenched his knee; when he gets up, he's walking with an obvious limp! While he's distracted by his pain, Butch Manson climbs the nearest turnbuckles, and leaps off to club him in the back with a FLYING DOUBLE AXHANDLE TO THE FLOOR!! The crowd cheers, and Butch Manson grimaces for a second, then raises a fist in the air and roars in triumph!

Butch Manson hauls Jacques Normandy up and rolls him back into the ring, then reaches into the wheelbarrow again and pulls out a police nightstick! Jacques Normandy starts to get up, but he's still heavily favoring the leg, and Butch Manson slides in behind him, then comes from behind and whacks him in the back of the leg with the nightstick! The crowd cheers, Jacques Normandy goes down clutching his leg, and Butch Manson drops the nightstick, grabs Jacques Normandy's leg, and turns around to put him in a spinning toe hold! The crowd groans, but Jacques Normandy roars loudly and begins flailing around desperately!

Butch Manson steps around and turns in the spinning toe hold again, and Jacques Normandy's struggles become even more animated as the pain takes its toll! Butch Manson makes a third rotation in the spinning toe hold, then leans down and yells "GIVE UP, YOU GODDAMN MULE-TOOTHED UGLY BASTARD!!" at him! Jacques Normandy yells out in misery, but shakes his head "no," so Butch Manson steps around and makes another rotation in the hold! He leans down even closer and yells "I SAID GIVE UP--" but this time Jacques Normandy's flailing hands find the dropped nightstick, and he brings it up into Butch Manson's face, knocking him down and breaking the hold!

Both of the two men lay around on the mat for a while, Butch Manson knocked motionless by the nightstick, and Jacques Normandy clutching his knee. After several seconds, Jacques Normandy gets up first, favoring his leg. Butch Manson gets up shortly after him, and Jacques Normandy raises the nightstick as he's getting up and brings it down hard across his back! The crowd boos, and Butch Manson falls face-down on the mat! Jacques Normandy drops down to the mat and rolls out of the ring and begins limping up the aisle. Has he had enough?

Butch Manson remains down in the ring, and Jacques Normandy makes his limping retreat up the ramp... but stops when he finds his overturned wheelbarrow of Three Musketeers bars! He stops and grabs one, then quickly tears off the wrapper and wolfs it down in three big bites, then grabs another! Butch Manson gets up, then rolls out of the ring and starts approaching as Jacques Normandy gobbles down the second candy bar! And then he beats his chest wildly, howls like a wolf, and charges back down the aisle, meeting Butch Manson halfway and taking him down with a huge SPEAR!! The crowd boos, and Jacques Normandy crouches over Butch Manson and begins hammering him with repeated right hands to the face!

After several punches, Jacques Normandy pulls Butch Manson up into a bearhug and barrels down the ramp holding him to ram him back-first into the ring apron! Butch Manson writhes in pain in his grasp, and Jacques Normandy rolls him back into the ring and climbs in after him! Butch Manson begins getting up, and Jacques Normandy backs into the ropes, then charges forward and FLOORS him with a big boot to the face! He's showing no signs of injury now; as stupid as it may seem, it appears that eating the Three Musketeers bars cured him of his injuries!

Butch Manson begins getting up again, and Jacques Normandy backs into the ropes and charges him, but Butch Manson suddenly leaps into the air and catches him with a dropkick, knocking him off his feet! The crowd cheers for that surprise move, and both men get up! Jacques Normandy throws a punch, but Butch Manson blocks it, then hammers Jacques Normandy with three big punches of his own, backing him into a corner of the ring! He whips Jacques Normandy into the opposite corner, and Normandy hits the turnbuckles back-first and staggers out, so Butch Manson runs at him and knocks him off his feet with a big leaping clothesline!

Jacques Normandy starts to get up, but Butch Manson kicks him in the midsection, then pulls him into a standing headscissors! The crowd suddenly begins booing, and the camera cuts to the backstage entrance briefly to see that Monty Pompous has come out and is now making his way to the ring! But back in the ring, Butch Manson lifts Jacques Normandy and brings him down with a big PILEDRIVER!! The crowd cheers for that, Jacques Normandy wilts limply to the mat, and Butch Manson sits up, then points to the ceiling to a chorus of groans!

Butch Manson goes to a corner of the ring and begins climbing the turnbuckles, then gets to the top turnbuckle! He stands up there, with everyone in the crowd groaning, holding up their hands and shaking their head "no," and trying to discourage him from making the leap! Nevertheless, he crouches and springs backward with a big MOONSAULT!! But just before he makes the leap, Monty Pompous reaches into the ring, grabs Jacques Normandy's ankles, and pulls him halfway out of the ring! Jacques Normandy is pulled out of the way of the moonsault, and Butch Manson crashes face-first to the mat!

The crowd boos, and Bobcat McGavin begins yelling at Monty Pompous, ordering him to leave the ring area! Though he can't disqualify Jacques Normandy in a Street Fight, he can eject Monty Pompous from ringside, and that's what he's doing! But the damage may be done, as both combatants get to their feet, and Jacques Normandy kicks Butch Manson in the midsection, then pulls him into a front chancery and lifts him! He holds him in the air for a second or two, then brings him crashing down with the JACQUESHAMMER!! The crowd boos, and Jacques Normandy stays on for the cover as Bobcat McGavin returns his attention to the match and counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!! Jacques Normandy, with an assist from Monty Pompous, takes the victory!

The crowd continues booing loudly as Jacques Normandy rolls out of the ring and begins retreating up the aisle. In the ring, Butch Manson sits up and glares down the aisle at his retreating foe, muttering curses to himself. He doesn't have the best track record with hitting that moonsault, but let's face it; that time, it was Monty Pompous's fault that the moonsault missed, and as a result Jacques Normandy picked up the big win! Butch Manson clearly isn't happy with this outcome, but right now we're going to take a look backstage, where we understand that... of all people, Santa Claus is about to arrive in the arena! Then, we're going to take a look at Stacey Lockman and her friends, right before she takes on Komachi! Let's take a look at that!

The camera is set in an open space in the backstage hall. In the area are a few interior doors, a number of boxes and crates stacked high, an artificial Christmas tree set up at one side, and a big pair of double-doors leading out to the parking lot. Suddenly, those doors swing open, and in walks Santa Claus in his red suit and hat, carrying a large red sack over his shoulder. He strides forward into the room and bellows merrily.

S. Claus: HO HO HO!! Merry Christmas, VCW! Santa's here to find out who's been naughty and nice! HO HO HO!!

Santa Claus starts to stride forward, but he's met on his way by Jessica Judd, whose wavy brown hair has regrown to its former length. Dressed in a pair of black leather pants and a white T-shirt torn and tied off at the navel to show a piercing there, she walks suggestively up to Santa Claus and flashes him a dazzling smile.

J. Judd: Howdy there, Santa.

Jessica Judd comes close and snuggles up against Santa Claus with a seductive purr.

J. Judd: Let's clear one thing up right now, darling. You wanna know who's naughty and who's nice? Well, just like always, I'm nice and naughty. And if you wanna follow me to that empty room over there and stuff my stocking for me, I can prove it.

Santa Claus puts an arm around Jessica Judd's waist and grins.

S. Claus: Oh, this WILL be a Merry Christmas! HO HO HO!! Lead the way!

Jessica Judd leads Santa Claus to a nearby door and walks inside. He sets his red sack down outside the door, then walks inside and closes it behind them. Seconds later, the Super Giant Ninja tip-toes onto the scene. He looks around to make sure nobody is watching, then grabs the sack, takes it over his own shoulder and creeps away with it.

A few seconds later, Jeremy Tellier staggers into view. He's followed by an irate Tommy Hustle, who rushes forward and clobbers him with a big right hand, causing Jeremy Tellier to fly back, but turn in mid-air to collide face-and-chest-first with a cinderblock wall! And then he bounces back off the wall, lands on his upper back on the concrete, and tumbles head-over-heels onto his stomach. Tommy Hustle turns him back over and covers, and then Sophie rushes onto the scene, kneels beside them, and counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And Jeremy Tellier kicks out at two.

Sophie: You almost got him, Tommy! Keep trying!

Tommy Hustle looks up to address Sophie, but Jeremy Tellier rolls over and crawls away on his hands and knees, and Tommy Hustle has to turn and give chase. Jeremy Tellier scrambles to his feet and pushes his way out through the door to the parking lot, and Tommy Hustle chases after him. Sophie watches them go and frowns.

Sophie: Hmm. Well, there goes that.

As Sophie's talking, a member of the backstage crew comes out from behind a stack of crates. He looks at the door where Santa Claus and Jessica Judd just went, and shakes his head.

Crewman: Christmas gets cheapened a little more with each passing year.

Sophie gives the man a questioning look.

Sophie: What makes you say that?

Crewman: Santa Claus just came in, and the first thing he did was run into the storage room to boink Jessica Judd.

Sophie: Really? Y-you can't be serious!

The backstage crew man nods glumly.

Crewman: It's true.

Sophie: S-Santa Claus... I can't believe it! ... That's AWFUL!

Sophie sighs and looks down at the ground, then scowls.

Sophie: Th-that's it. I can't deal with this. ... Fuck it, I'm turning Jewish.

Sophie goes over to the artificial Christmas tree, shoves it over on its side, and then stomps on it a few times. She turns and walks away, her expression a mix of anger and horror. At that point, the camera fades out on the backstage scene.

The camera now shows a festively decorated room backstage. A Christmas tree is up, and lights and streamers are hanging from the ceiling, while shiny red paper letters nearly a foot high spell out "MERRY CHRISTMAS" on the wall. Johnny Smiles, Ken Collins, Lars Coverdale, Christina Ellis, and the Pink Kitten are all sitting around on folding chairs, with a table in front of them bearing Christmas cookies, fruitcake, and plastic cups full of drink. Sumiko the stuffed cat is sitting by the Christmas tree, with a Christmas-style red stocking cap on its head. Several opened presents are all around, and Johnny Smiles is giving Lars Coverdale a gift-wrapped tube.

L. Coverdale: Uh, dude, what's this for? Is it for if I get trapped three or four feet underwater and need something to breathe through? Because that's only happened like once or twice in my life so far, and I don't think I'll need it very often.

J. Smiles: There's something inside of it. Take the cap off of the end and take it out!

L. Coverdale: Whoa, far out!

Lars Coverdale takes the cap off of the tube and pulls out a rolled-up poster. When he unrolls it, he sees that it's a large, autographed poster of David Lee Roth.

L. Coverdale: DUDE!! This is the best Christmas ever!

J. Smiles: I'm glad you like it.

L. Coverdale: Like it? Man, not only did I score this totally sweet poster, but now I ALSO have this righteous tube! It's like two presents in one!

A small chuckle drifts through the room, and Christina Ellis produces a small box.

C. Ellis: Me next. I have one more thing for you guys, Johnny and Yuri.

Johnny Smiles and the Pink Kitten both turn to look at her.

P. Kitten: But... you already gave us presents!

C. Ellis: I know. But here's one more. Something you guys can use together back at the hotel.

K. Collins: Besides, she needs to give extra presents to redeem herself for bringing a fruitcake to the party.

Christina Ellis glares at Ken Collins.

C. Ellis: It's my grandmother's recipie, you ungrateful boob! Besides, there are already plenty of fruitcakes around here; they're sitting around giving each other presents. ... Anyway, Johnny, Yuri... for you.

J. Smiles: Cool. Let's see!

Johnny Smiles takes the box from her and tears off the wrapping, unveiling a box of condoms. The Pink Kitten looks away, giggling, and Christina Ellis raises an eyebrow at him and smiles suggestively.

C. Ellis: Now, I'm sure you two can put those to good use later on tonight--

J. Smiles: Can we EVER! This is awesome! ... Water balloon fight at the hotel after the show, Yuri! You're going DOWN!

Christina Ellis shakes her head and sighs. The Pink Kitten stops and stares at Johnny Smiles for a second, but his eager, playful smile doesn't change. After a second, she looks down and sighs.

P. Kitten: Um... well... don't forget, we've got a big night ahead of us. I must face Sadako Momotani, and you have an hour with Gabriel Black. I... I just don't know if--

S. Lockman: Hey... don't worry so much.

Stacey Lockman walks onto the scene, dressed to wrestle.

S. Lockman: We all have it tough tonight. Every last one of us, except maybe Christina, is booked against an opponent who, by the book, ought to crush us without much of an effort. Crimson. David Wright Hubbard. Gabriel Black. Sadako Momotani. ... And Komachi.

Everyone stops to look at Stacey Lockman.

S. Lockman: I've probably been in like a dozen matches in my life, and I'm going out there against a former SJW World Champion and former SJW World Tag Team Champion. She's probably the top woman in all of wrestling right now, you know? And I'm totally scared. I'm scared as hell. But I'm not going to LET myself worry. I'm going to go out there, prove everybody wrong, kick her ass, and THEN, just like Dad used to no matter how beat up, how bloody and hurt he was... come back here and keep partying ALL NIGHT LONG. ... I expect nothing less from all of you.

Ken Collins stands up with a smile full of admiration.

K. Collins: You never stop giving me new reasons to fall in love with you, do you?

He leans forward to kiss her, but Stacey Lockman pushes him back with a smile.

S. Lockman: Save it for the victory celebration. ... I'll be right back.

Stacey Lockman walks out of the room, with all eyes following her, and the camera fades out on the backstage scene.

Back at ringside, "Superbeast" by Rob Zombie is playing, and the crowd boos as Komachi stalks out of the backstage entrance, accompanied by Minako. She surely saw her friend and partner Virginia upset by Pauline Vietjohn earlier in the show, and no doubt she desperately wants to avoid a similar situation here! She has a dark scowl on her painted face as she stalks to the ring and climbs inside. Either she's actually a little apprehensive about this match, or she's just in a bad mood. Knowing her, it's probably the latter, which isn't good for Stacey Lockman.

And then "Lovefool" by the Cardigans begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd cheers loudly as Stacey Lockman comes out of the backstage entrance! She looks focused, but uneasy as she makes her way to the ring, staring down the aisle at Komachi, who watches her with a stony frown. Once at ringside, Stacey Lockman slowly steps up on the apron, watching to make sure that Komachi doesn't rush forward, then steps into the ring and backs into a corner. Harold Brusco enters the ring and calls for the bell, and this match will get underway!

Komachi
w/Minako

Komachi advances into the center of the ring and holds up a hand for a test of strength, but Stacey Lockman just stares at her like she's crazy, then shakes her head. Scowling, Komachi calmly walks forward and takes a swing at Stacey Lockman, who narrowly dodges back from it into a corner, then sticks her upper body between the ropes! Since she's in the ropes, Harold Brusco steps in to halt Komachi's advance and order her to back off. Komachi rolls her eyes and backs away, and slowly, Stacey Lockman comes out of the corner.

They both advance towards one another again, Stacey Lockman obviously hesitant to come near. She circles Komachi warily for several seconds, then finally steps forward to lock up, but when Komachi comes forward, Stacey Lockman gives her a quick eye gouge, then kicks her in the midsection! The crowd cheers, and Stacey Lockman whips Komachi into the ropes, then runs into the other side! They both come off and meet in the middle, and Stacey Lockman knocks Komachi off her feet with a jumping kneelift! The crowd erupts! Komachi bangs her fists against the mat in frustration, bolts to her feet, and charges, but runs right into an armdrag that takes her down! She bolts right back up, charges forward, and runs into another armdrag! Again, she gets up, but Stacey Lockman comes forward, grabs her in a headlock, and blatantly pulls her hair to assist in whipping her to the mat in a headlock takedown!

The crowd cheers even as Harold Brusco warns Stacey Lockman about the hair pull and she denies it with a sweet, insincere smile. But on the mat, Komachi comes to life with a surge of power, fighting her way to her feet and making it look effortless! In only a few seconds, Komachi's back on her feet in the headlock, and she grabs Stacey Lockman and lifts her for a belly-to-back suplex! But impressively, Stacey Lockman flips out behind her and lands on her feet! But Komachi spins with a URAKEN! No, Stacey Lockman ducks, grabs two more blatant handfuls of hair, and pulls her down into a jawbreaker! The crowd explodes into cheers, and Komachi goes down and rolls out of the ring!

On the outside, Minako comes over and hugs Komachi, whispering something into her ear. It's certainly questionable what kind of advice that she, of all people, could be giving Komachi, though. But Komachi's stopping to hear her, and as she does Stacey Lockman goes to the nearest corner and begins climbing the turnbuckles! She reaches the top, her legs wobbling a little bit and fear showing clearly on her face, but then she leaps off with a somewhat clumsy FLYING CROSS BODYPRESS TO THE FLOOR!! But Komachi sees it coming and shoves Minako forward into it, even as she herself takes a step back! Stacey Lockman crashes into Minako, and both women tumble to the floor! But after a second or two, Stacey Lockman realizes she didn't get Komachi, and she looks up, only to get KICKED SQUARE IN THE FACE!!

The crowd boos as Stacey Lockman flops down limply on the floor, but swiftly and without mercy Komachi grabs her and rolls her back into the ring. Stacey Lockman starts to get up, clutching her face, as Komachi climbs in after her, but she's facing the wrong way and Komachi just comes up behind her and drills her with a kick square to the lower back! Stacey Lockman arches her back, falls to her knees, and then slowly topples forward onto her face, and the crowd boos. She starts to pull herself up to her hands and knees, but Komachi calmly saunters forward and stops that with an elbowdrop to the back, squashing her back down.

Komachi grabs the back of Stacey's ring attire and roughly hauls her up to her feet, then shoves her back into a corner of the ring. Ignoring Harold Brusco's protests, she steps in and begins to pummel Stacey Lockman with a flurry of left and right punches with an occasional kick to the ribs thrown in! Stacey Lockman's helpless to do anything but try to cover up from the abuse until Harold Brusco finally gets through to Komachi, forcing her to back off! Stacey Lockman staggers out of the corner, dazed and in pain, and Komachi coolly measures her and floors her with a KICK TO THE HEAD!! She goes down and covers, and Harold Brusco counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And at two and a half, Stacey Lockman throws a shoulder up!

Komachi looks down at Stacey Lockman with mild surprise, then hauls her up again, kicks her in the midsection, and whips her into a corner. Stacey Lockman hits the turnbuckles back-first and slumps against them, and Komachi gives a war cry and charges in after her for a running shoulderblock! But Stacey Lockman dodges, and Komachi runs shoulder-first into the STEEL RINGPOST!! The crowd cheers, Komachi turns and staggers out of the corner, doubled over holding her shoulder, and Stacey Lockman grabs her and takes her down into the CALIFORNIA CROSSFACE!! The crowd goes CRAZY!!

A chant of "TAP! TAP! TAP!" begins in the crowd, but Komachi doesn't seem ready to give up quite yet! She begins struggling, and with her formidable strength begins the process of turning the hold around so she can make it to the ropes! Stacey Lockman holds on, leaning back and applying pressure in the crossface, but Komachi's enduring it and making progress! After several seconds, she has turned them so she's at least facing the nearest ropes, and she begins to lurch towards them! Several more seconds later, Komachi flings out a hand and grabs the bottom rope, and the crowd boos loudly! Stacey Lockman takes a full count of four to release the hold, and there's concern on her face when she finally gets up.

Komachi begins getting up, but she's cradling her shoulder in pain, and Stacey Lockman's behind her! Stacey Lockman grabs a rear waistlock to a huge round of cheers from the crowd, braces herself, and screams with effort... but Komachi snaps her head back just before the lift, headbutting Stacey Lockman in the nose! She releases the waistlock and staggers back in surprise, and Komachi whirls on her with a URAKEN!! Komachi's fist catches Stacey Lockman square in the face and sends her down hard to the mat, and the crowd boos loudly! A renewed burst of pain in her shoulder from that exertion stuns Komachi for a few seconds, but then she shakes it off and goes for the cover. Harold Brusco counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THR... Shoulder up at two and three-quarters!

Komachi glares at Stacey Lockman, then stops to massage her shoulder with the other hand for a second. She pulls Stacey Lockman up again, and Stacey slumps back against the ropes, nearly out on her feet! But she manages to take another step forward, a glassy look in her eyes, and Komachi winds up and hits her with another URAKEN!! The crowd boos, Stacey Lockman hits the canvas flat like a piece of meat dropped on the floor, and Komachi shakes off the pain enough to raise her fist in the air and scream triumphantly!

Komachi moves to stand over Stacey Lockman, and she pulls her limp body up into a standing headscissors. After a final, deep breath she lifts her up into position, then DRIVES her to the canvas with a POWER BOMB!! The crowd boos loudly, and Komachi hooks a leg and spitefully grinds her other forearm across Stacey Lockman's face for good measure as she covers! Harold Brusco counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!! Komachi will come away with the decisive victory!

The crowd continues to boo, and Komachi raises her fist in the air again with a grimace of discomfort, then steps out of the ring and down to the floor. Minako is waiting for her, still looking a little uncomfortable after being the victim of Stacey Lockman's diving attack earlier on, and Komachi grabs her by the wrist and begins leading her backstage. Back in the ring, Stacey Lockman gets up, dazed and battered, and stares after her. She made a good showing and showed a lot of guts, but that only took her so far tonight against a woman who may be one of the greatest of all time. After getting a modest round of cheers from the crowd, she too begins making her way backstage.

And we're going to head right on to our next match! "Moneytalks" by AC/DC begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd cheers as Dean Sanders comes out of the backstage entrance, ready to go! He rolls his shoulders and shifts his head from side to side to loosen up his neck, then walks to the ring with a purpose and slides inside! In the ring, he grabs the ropes and pulls on them, stretching and testing their tightness, then stares out to the backstage entrance to await his opponent. Dean Sanders is a focused professional tonight, as he always is, and Devaccio Pola could have one hell of a fight ahead of him!

But then "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd boos as Devaccio Pola steps out of the backstage entrance! He's forsaken his street clothes tonight for a simple pair of dark blue tights and black boots, and he has a gleeful, demented smile on his face. He knows damn well what's in store for him tonight, and he's looking forward to it! It seems like ever since his return, Devaccio Pola's gone further and further off the deep end, until finally six days ago he formed an alliance with Chris Champlain and Desmond, completing his descent into madness. Tonight, he'll come face to face with a man who's just as intense and violent as he is.

Devaccio Pola strides to the ring and slides inside, then pops up to his feet, and Dean Sanders immediately rushes him and hammers him with a hard right hand! Devaccio Pola absorbs it, then returns fire with one of his own! The two begin trading stiff blows in the middle of the ring, neither giving an inch! After a few seconds, Brendan Powers gets into the ring and calls for the bell, and this match is underway!

For several seconds, neither man gives an inch, as they just take turns hammering each other with brutally intense punches! Neither man stomps his foot on the mat, and all that can be heard of the exchange is a "smack!" with each blow that lands! Finally, Devaccio Pola seems to get fed up with it, and he steps back, pivots, and lashes out with a kick to the face, but Dean Sanders ducks! Devaccio Pola spins around, off-balance, and turns back to Dean Sanders, and he gets FLATTENED with a huge LARIAT!! Devaccio Pola smacks hard into the canvas, back first, but then he bolts back up to his feet and bellows loudly! Dean Sanders rushes with a second lariat, but Devaccio Pola ducks, spins in one fluid motion, and tags him with a BRUTAL kick to the back! The sound of the impact rings out through the arena, the crowd goes "oooh," and Dean Sanders falls to his hands and knees!

Devaccio Pola grins to himself, then reaches down and pulls Dean Sanders up! He kicks him in the midsection, then whips him into a corner of the ring! Dean Sanders hits the turnbuckles back-first, and Devaccio Pola charges in after him with a spinning leg lariat! The blow rocks Dean Sanders back in the corner, and Devaccio Pola actually goes out over the top rope to the apron with his own momentum! But he catches the top rope and lands on his feet on the apron! Dean Sanders staggers out of the corner, and Devaccio Pola leaps to the top rope, then springs off and lands straddling Dean Sanders's face for a SPRINGBOARD HURRICANRANA!! But Dean Sanders stays upright, holding Devaccio Pola up, long enough to stagger back several steps and then fall back to drop him throat-first on the top rope with a modified Hotshot!

Devaccio Pola goes down, clutching his throat, and Dean Sanders gets back up. When Devaccio Pola stands, Dean Sanders meets him with a kick to the midsection, then grabs his arm and twists it out to the side in an armwringer! Devaccio Pola grimaces, and Dean Sanders steps in closer and unloads on his exposed chest with a STINGING backhand chop! Devaccio Pola rocks back, but Dean Sanders keeps a hold on his arm with his other hand, then draws back and chops him again! Devaccio Pola's arm comes free, and he staggers back, then suddenly comes forward with a quick kick! Dean Sanders catches his foot, only for Devaccio Pola to leap up and clock him with an ENZUIGIRI!! Dean Sanders goes down, and the crowd boos!

Devaccio Pola grabs Dean Sanders and hauls him up roughly, then knees him in the midsection and dumps him out of the ring to the floor! Dean Sanders starts to get up, and Devaccio Pola runs at him and hits him with a baseball slide that knocks him back-first into the guardrail!! The crowd boos, but then a few cheers arise when Devaccio Pola steps out to the apron, facing into the ring! The cheers continue as he leaps all the way up to the top rope, then springs back off of that with a huge SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT TO THE FLOOR!! But Dean Sanders moves, and Devaccio Pola appears to wipe out CHEST-FIRST ON THE GUARDRAIL!!

The crowd gives a muted cheer as a "HOLY SHIT!" chant competes with a "V-C-W!" chant among the crowd! Devaccio Pola falls backwards into the laps of several fans in the front row, convulsing with bright red fluid pouring out of his mouth, and they actually jump back away from him to allow for medical personel to come in. Dean Sanders rolls back into the ring to break the count, then watches as a group of medics hustle over to the scene. They open up the guardrail and swing one piece out to bring in a stretcher, and then they carefully begin loading the convulsing Devaccio Pola onto it. Dean Sanders watches impassively as they strap him down, then begin pushing him backstage... and then he suddenly rushes forward, pushes a few of them out of the way, and shoves the stretcher over on its side!!

The crowd is torn between cheers and stunned silence, and Dean Sanders begins stomping and kicking at Devaccio Pola while he's strapped on the fallen stretcher! The medics try to pull him away, but he shoves them aside again, then reaches down and unfastens the straps binding Devaccio Pola to the stretcher! He probably has cracked ribs, perhaps some severe internal injuries, and Dean Sanders is pulling him up! The crowd cheers as Dean Sanders pulls Devaccio Pola up by the hair, then pulls him into a front chancery and lifts... and drops him back down CHEST-FIRST ON THE GUARDRAIL AGAIN!! Good LORD!! He's trying to kill him!

Devaccio Pola slumps against the guardrail, and Dean Sanders grabs two handfuls of his hair and hauls him back over it, then drags him to the ring and rolls him inside! Once there, he goes for a cover and hooks the leg. He didn't want a count-out victory; he wanted to pin Devaccio Pola, and as Brendan Powers counts, that's exactly what he'll do! ... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THR... SHOULDER UP!! The crowd completely forgets their earlier dislike of Devaccio Pola and cheers loudly, and Dean Sanders scowls at him, then pulls him up and into a standing headscissors! He's going to finish him! Dean Sanders prepares to lift, but Devaccio Pola counters it with a double-leg takedown, then falls back and flings Dean Sanders back with a slingshot!

Dean Sanders lands chest-first on the second rope and stays slumped over on it, and Devaccio Pola stays on the mat for a second, then bolts up to his feet and yells "BAAAAAAH!!" at the top of his lungs! His chin and chest are still dripping with blood, and his voice sounds a little ragged, but he's too crazy to stay down! Dean Sanders is still slumped over the second rope, and Devaccio Pola runs at him, then leaps over the top rope and lands straddling Dean Sanders's neck and upper shoulders, jamming him down harder on the second rope before he slips off and tumbles to the floor! Dean Sanders flops back into the ring, gasping and squirming, and Devaccio Pola crumples to the floor.

Brendan Powers looks around at the carnage and begins to count Devaccio Pola out, but after a few seconds he gets up, then grabs Dean Sanders by the ankle and pulls him out under the bottom rope! Devaccio Pola takes a powerful, careless swing at him, but Dean Sanders recovers enough to block it, then snaps off a kick to the midsection! He whips Devaccio Pola into the guardrail, and Devaccio Pola hits back-first, then staggers forward! Dean Sanders puts his head down for a backdrop, but Devaccio Pola comes forward without missing a step and hits him with the GUILLOTINE KICK instead!! They both go down hard on the floor, and the crowd offers a mix of boos and cheers!!

After a few more seconds, Devaccio Pola gets back up and rolls back into the ring to break the count, then rolls out. Dean Sanders is starting to get up, so Devaccio Pola knees him in the midsection, then pulls him into a standing headscissors! The crowd rises to its feet, cheering in anticipation as Devaccio Pola lifts him for a power bomb, but instead of power bombing him on the floor, he turns slightly and gives him a POWER BOMB ON THE STEEL RINGSTEPS!! Dean Sanders hits the sharp angles of the steps back-first with a scream of agony, then crumples to the floor, and the crowd gives another huge chant of "HOLY SHIT!" as Devaccio Pola looks on with a demented smile!

Fortunately, from the way Dean Sanders's legs are twitching he doesn't appear to be paralyzed immediately, but he's still laid out on the floor, and could be hurt very badly. In another stroke of fortune, the medics and their stretcher are still nearby from the last incident, and they quickly rush to his side. Devaccio Pola climbs back into the ring, and the medics check on Dean Sanders for a moment, then begin loading him onto the stretcher. Instead, it appears that it'll be Dean Sanders who's carried backstage on a stretcher... but Devaccio Pola suddenly goes to a nearby corner and begins climbing the turnbuckles! The medics see what he's doing, and desperately try to wave him down! But Devaccio Pola just laughs, then leaps off onto Dean Sanders while he's strapped to the stretcher with a 450 SPLASH TO THE FLOOR!!

Devaccio Pola crashes chest-first onto Dean Sanders and rolls off of him to the floor, convulsing and clutching his chest again, while the stretcher remains firm, without any give, holding Dean Sanders down on it! The crowd cheers loudly again, and begins chanting once more! Both men seem to be nearly destroyed... and now a second medical team comes out, pushing a second stretcher! They load Devaccio Pola onto this one, while the others tend to Dean Sanders, and it looks like both men will be taken out of here, unable to stand! But as they start to strap Devaccio Pola in, he comes to life and begins fighting them off! Roaring like a wounded animal and wildly throwing punches around, he clears away everyone nearby, then gets up off of the stretcher!

Devaccio Pola unstraps Dean Sanders from the stretcher that he's on, then pushes the two stretchers together and stands up on the empty one! He pulls Dean Sanders up into a standing headscissors on the other stretcher, preparing to lift, but Dean Sanders finds a sudden surge of strength and flings him back with a BACKDROP TO THE FLOOR!! Devaccio Pola lands flat on his back on the floor with an unhealthy sound, and Dean Sanders stumbles forward off of the stretchers, slumps against the apron, and then rolls in and out of the ring just in time to break the count.

Devaccio Pola's slowly getting up, but Dean Sanders grabs him by the hair, takes him head-first into the apron, and rolls him back into the ring. Dean Sanders climbs in after him, then grabs him, lifts, and brings him down chest-first across a knee in a RIBBREAKER!! The crowd cheers as Devaccio Pola convulses wildly on the mat, and Dean Sanders gets up, takes a deep breath, and steps out to the apron! Devaccio Pola's down and in pain, and Dean Sanders climbs the turnbuckles, then leaps off with a FLYING ELBOWDROP!! The crowd cheers as Dean Sanders catches him with an elbow right across the chest! Dean Sanders covers, Brendan Powers counts, and this may FINALLY be over! ... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THR... KICKOUT!! Devaccio Pola kicks out at two and three quarters!

Dean Sanders snarls in rage, then hauls Devaccio Pola up, kicks him in the midsection, and whips him to a corner of the ring, but Devaccio Pola reverses it! Dean Sanders hits the turnbuckles hard back-first and staggers out, groaning in pain! Devaccio Pola measures him, and Dean Sanders staggers out and leans right into it as Devaccio Pola just KICKS HIM SQUARE IN THE FACE!! The kick connects with an audible smack, Dean Sanders goes down like he was just shot in the head, and the crowd offers a mix of cheers and boos. Devaccio Pola also slumps forward, falling to his hands and knees, then collapses motionless on the mat! He's so beat to hell, he can't even capitalize!

Brendan Powers begins counting both men down, and neither one is stirring. They've both taken an unmerciful beating, and probably should've been carried out of here by the medics some time ago. Finally, at the cound of eight, Devaccio Pola throws a shoulder up, then grabs the ropes and pulls himself to his feet! He leans back against the ropes, folding a hand over his chest and coughing, then looks down at Dean Sanders and steps out to the apron! Dean Sanders pulls himself off of the canvas with great effort as Devaccio Pola reaches the top, and turns around into a FLYING CROSS BODYPRESS!! But Dean Sanders catches him in mid-air, and spins him to the mat with a POWERSLAM!! The crowd erupts, Dean Sanders hooks a leg, and Brendan Powers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THRE... KICKOUT!! At the last possible instant, Devaccio Pola kicked out!

Dean Sanders slowly gets up, staggers back, and puts a hand to his head, then shakes it off and pulls Devaccio Pola up by the hair! He grabs his wrist and Irish whips him into the ropes, but Devaccio Pola reverses! Dean Sanders hits the ropes and comes off, and Devaccio Pola roars mercilessly as he lashes out with a swift, forceful kick to the head! But this time Dean Sanders ducks it and runs past him! Devaccio Pola manages to regain his balance, and whirls around, just in time to catch a CRUSHING LARIAT ACROSS THE COLLARBONE!! Devaccio Pola is sent down with AUTHORITY, and he lies motionless on the mat! Wearily, Dean Sanders slumps over him and hooks a leg, and Brendan Powers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!!

The crowd offers a sustained round of applause as Dean Sanders slowly stands up, staggers back into the ropes, and raises his hands in victory. Both of these two gave each other one hell of a beating, and it appeared at various times that they'd both be carried from the ring to a hospital. But the intense nature of both men ensured that this one wasn't going to end without one man standing tall, and tonight, after one hell of a battle, that man is Dean Sanders. After basking in the cheers for a moment or two, he drops down, rolls out of the ring, and begins making his way backstage.

Dean Sanders is nearly gone by the time that Devaccio Pola begins to stir, slowly sitting up. After moonsaulting onto the guardrail chest-first and taking a vicious assault to his ribs and torso, he was just completely incapacitated by that final lariat. Still, we know that he's leaving this match after giving out a hell of a lot of abuse, and that's the way he likes it. Despite his recent alliance with the evil union of Desmond and Chris Champlain, the crowd can't contain a respectful round of applause as he rolls out of the ring and begins hobbling backstage.

As we prepare for our next match, we're going to cut away to a nearby local restaurant, where a camera crew has caught up with Jeremy Tellier and Tommy Hustle as they continue their Falls Count Anywhere, Anyone Counts Pinfalls Match! Then, we'll take a look at the backstage area, where the VCW World Champion, Crimson, has just arrived in the building! Ziggy Adderloaf is standing by, and we're going to check in with the champion as he prepares for his VCW World Title defense in the Submission Match against Ken Collins that is tonight's main event! Let's go to those scenes now...

The camera shows the lobby of a McDonald's restaurant, just as Jeremy Tellier runs in through the door. He cuts in front of several customers in line, throws a nervous glance back at the door he just came in through, and stands before the cashier.

Cashier: Um... may I help you, sir?

J. Tellier: Yeah. I'd like a cup of really hot coffee, and I need it fast. ... I won't sue you for millions of dollars or anything. I promise.

Jeremy Tellier hands the cashier a five-dollar bill, and he takes it and makes change.

Cashier: I'll have your coffee right away, sir. ... May I help the next person?

Jeremy Tellier stands back, tapping his foot impatiently, and looking back at the door frequently. After several seconds, he approaches the cashier again.

J. Tellier: Hey, where's my coffee!? I thought this was supposed to be FAST food! What is this!?

Cashier: Please have a seat, sir. Your order will be ready in a minute.

Jeremy Tellier keeps looking around nervously, and the door to the restaurant opens. Tommy Hustle walks in, looking angry, and Jeremy Tellier takes a nervous step back. A server finally approaches with his cup of coffee, and he snatches it away and turns to Tommy Hustle with it. But he's too late, and Tommy Hustle kicks it out of his hand and into his face.

J. Tellier: Auughh!! DAMN, that hurts!!

Jeremy Tellier staggers back, rubbing at his face, and Tommy Hustle kicks him in the midsection, then rears back and drills him with a big right hand that knocks him down on the floor of the lobby. But as he begins to get up, "The Fry Cook" Larry Brown runs out from the kitchen, carrying a brown plastic tray, and he whacks Tommy Hustle over the head with it. Tommy Hustle goes down to his knees, and Larry Brown raises the tray up again and brings it down on his back, squashing him down to the floor. Jeremy Tellier pulls himself up to his feet and grins.

J. Tellier: Hey, man! Thanks for the help there.

L. Brown: No problem. I figured you could use some backup, so I showed up here.

J. Tellier: But how'd you get in the kitchen? The McDonald's you work at's back in San Francisco!

L. Brown: Shh! ... Between you and me, there's so much turnover in these places that if you walk into the back with a uniform on, they'll just assume you're supposed to work here.

Jeremy Tellier shakes his head and shrugs, but just then the Green Princess comes out of the kitchen area, her face greasy and smiling.

G. Princess: Thanks for letting me go bobbing for French fries in the deep fryer, Larry. I really appreciate it!

L. Brown: Don't mention it, baby. You were GREAT last night.

Larry Brown gives the Green Princess a lecherous leer, and Jeremy Tellier stares back and forth at both of them, horrified.

J. Tellier: Um, dude? What the hell's this?

L. Brown: Oh, man, Jeremy, she's great in bed. In fact, see for yourself! Meet up with me after the show, and I'll let you double-team her with me, okay?

J. Tellier: DUDE!

Jeremy Tellier starts to back away, eyes and mouth gaping wide in horror, but he accidentally trips over Tommy Hustle, who suddenly rolls him up for the pin. A customer jumps out of the line in front of the cashier to count... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And at two, Jeremy Tellier kicks out, and frantically scrambles away and out the door on his hands and knees. Tommy Hustle pulls himself up from the floor and stares back and forth at Larry Brown and the Green Princess with a confused and disgusted expression.

T. Hustle: Y'all are two messed-up individuals. You know that, right?

Larry Brown grins, shrugs, and puts an arm around the Green Princess's shoulders, and she giggles bashfully.

L. Brown: Hey, don't hate the player. Hate the game.

Tommy Hustle shakes his head in disbelief, then turns and runs out the door in pursuit of Jeremy Tellier, and the camera fades out on the restaurant scene.

The camera shows Ziggy Adderloaf standing next to the double-doors that lead out to the parking lot. After a second or two, Crimson walks in, carrying his bag over his shoulder, but walking with a slight limp. He sees Ziggy Adderloaf and scowls, but Ziggy Adderloaf steps forward to question him anyway.

Z. Adderloaf: Fans, I'm here with the VCW World Champion, Crimson, who'll be defending his title in a huge Submission Match tonight. ... Crimson, I have to ask, after last Monday... is there any truth to the reports that your leg isn't one hundred percent?

Crimson: There's gonna be some truth to the reports that your ass is a hundred percent whipped if you ask me another stupid question. ... Do you think, on his BEST day, that Ken Collins is worth even FIFTY percent of me? I could show up here stinking drunk, without eating or sleeping for the past three days, with a broken back... and then, maybe he'd have a CHANCE against me. Don't get bogged down in the details. Just keep the facts in mind. And fact is, that miserable motherfucker doesn't have a prayer of making me tap tonight.

As Crimson finishes speaking, David Wright Hubbard walks up to them.

D.W. Hubbard: Well said, big guy. I think I told you this before, but I have a lot of respect for you, sir. You're basically about the toughest guy in the whole place, and I admire that. I admire what you stand for. I admire the fact that you're gonna whip that punk kid's ass later on tonight. And I know how it is to have a sore knee and have everyone always carrying on about it. It's a damn pain in the ass, that's how it is, sir. ... So, basically, it'd be an honor if you'd let me help you out, friend, and carry your bags for you.

Crimson cracks a smile, then takes his bag off his shoulder and hands it to David Wright Hubbard.

Crimson: Yeah? I like your attitude. Here you go.

David Wright Hubbard takes the bag over his own shoulder, and the two begin walking off together as Ziggy Adderloaf stares after them. The camera fades out as the two of them walk away together.

And we're back now, and ready to go ahead with our next match! "About A Girl" by Nirvana begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd cheers as the Pink Kitten comes out of the backstage entrance! She runs to the ring, full of energy, touching the hands of fans along the way. She slides into the ring and runs the ropes a few times, then goes up to one of the top turnbuckles and poses with her hands raised. There's no doubting that she's certainly full of energy tonight, but will that be enough? She's faced with a daunting task tonight, and to be perfectly fair, the odds aren't in her favor no matter who you ask.

And then "No Remorse" by Metallica begins playing, heralding the arrival of Sadako Momotani! She stalks out of the backstage entrance, accompanied by Lady Erica Whitmore, and then just stands at the top of the ramp, staring down the aisle with a cruel smile. Lady Erica Whitmore stands behind her, rubs her shoulders, and whispers something into her ear, and Sadako Momotani's smile grows as she begins walking to the ring! The crowd boos loudly, and the Pink Kitten looks on apprehensively. Except for possibly Komachi, there's no woman in VCW who has the same kind of experience and international renown that Sadako Momotani does! She climbs into the ring, takes off her leather jacket, and hands it aside, and Jerry Rogers calls for the bell to begin the match!

Sadako Momotani
w/Lady Erica Whitmore

The Pink Kitten cautiously keeps her distance from Sadako Momotani, and the two women stalk in circles, each looking for the opportunity to gain the upper hand. But suddenly, Sadako Momotani charges forward with a vicious shriek and outstretched hands, and the Pink Kitten panics and ducks into a corner, between the ropes! Sadako Momotani stops quickly, her attack obviously nothing more than an attempt to startle and frighten the Pink Kitten. However, it clearly worked, and she steps back, laughing to herself. But suddenly, the Pink Kitten bolts forth from the corner with a defiant scream of her own and tackles Sadako Momotani with a huge SPEAR!

The crowd cheers loudly, and the Pink Kitten crouches over Sadako Momotani and begins hammering her in the face with forearm shots! Sadako Momotani squirms for a second, then grabs the Pink Kitten's wrist, draws her hand close to her face, and begins biting her hand! The Pink Kitten screams and tries to pull her hand away, but Sadako Momotani holds on, gnawing on her fingers savagely! Finally, the Pink Kitten pulls away, gets to her feet, and stands over Sadako Momotani, looking down on her in horror, but then Sadako Momotani just laughs and flings a foot up into the Pink Kitten's crotch! The Pink Kitten doubles over and falls to the canvas in a heap, and Sadako Momotani pulls herself up again.

The Pink Kitten fights her way up to her hands and knees, and Sadako Momotani draws back and gives her a sharp kick to the side! The Pink Kitten falls back down and rolls onto her other side, clutching her midsection and grimacing, and Sadako Momotani grins gleefully, then continues to stomp and kick at her while she's on the ground! The Pink Kitten quickly rolls to the edge of the ring and grabs the bottom rope, and Sadako Momotani keeps stomping and kicking her despite Jerry Rogers's warnings! Finally, Jerry Rogers grabs Sadako Momotani by the shoulders and forcibly hauls her away, then starts lecturing her. But while he's doing that, Lady Erica Whitmore grabs the Pink Kitten by the hair and drives the point of her elbow into her forehead!

The Pink Kitten pulls herself up and shakes off the abuse she's endured, then screams out a battle cry and charges Sadako Momotani again! But this time, she runs right into a kick to the midsection that doubles her over, and then Sadako Momotani grabs her by the hair and knees her in the face! The Pink Kitten staggers back, cupping her hands over her nose and leaving herself wide open, and Sadako Momotani gives her another sharp kick to the midsection, then hooks her in a front chancery and whips her to the mat with a snap suplex! And then she floats over, but not for the pin; she leans over the Pink Kitten's upper body and begins trying to bite her throat!

The Pink Kitten's wild screaming and thrashing pushes Sadako Momotani away before she can do any serious damage, but Sadako Momotani gets to her feet first. The Pink Kitten's up a second later, and Sadako Momotani draws back and just SLAPS her hard across the face! The Pink Kitten puts a hand to her face, turns a hateful, anguished glare back at her, and then lashes out and DROPS Sadako Momotani with a right hand! It wasn't a forearm that time; it was a blatant closed fist, and the crowd's cheering her on! Sadako Momotani gets up, holding a hand to the side of her head, and the Pink Kitten kicks her in the midsection, then whips her into a corner! Sadako Momotani hits the turnbuckles back-first and staggers out, and the Pink Kitten catches her with a straight kick right below the throat that knocks her off her feet again!

Sadako Momotani gets back up, but the Pink Kitten stays on the attack with a kneelift, then hooks her arms and flings her back to the mat with a double arm suplex! Sadako Momotani gets up again and lurches forward, slightly off balance, and the Pink Kitten leaps up and takes her down with a Frankensteiner! But as she reaches back to cradle her legs, a look of sheer terror crosses the Pink Kitten's face, and she immediately leaps off of Sadako Momotani and frantically scrambles away on her hands and knees! She remembers well what happened the last time she used a Frankensteiner on Sadako Momotani, and she wasn't about to stay on her this time!

All the same, Sadako Momotani's getting up, and the Pink Kitten glares at her and rushes in with a dropkick that knocks her back down again! Again, Sadako Momotani begins to rise, and this time the Pink Kitten runs into the ropes behind her, then comes off to take her down with a bulldog! She rolls Sadako Momotani over, covers, and hooks a legs, and Jerry Rogers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And only two, before Sadako Momotani kicks out! There's really not much chance of beating someone as experienced and tough as her this early in the match!

The Pink Kitten gets up, her mouth set in a small, determined line, and backs into the ropes again as Sadako Momotani starts to get up, but this time Lady Erica Whitmore reaches in and trips her! The Pink Kitten stumbles forward, and Jerry Rogers turns to question Lady Erica Whitmore, but he didn't quite see it, and Erica's denying everything. The Pink Kitten straightens up and turns back to Sadako Momotani, but Momotani catches her with a kneelift, then grabs her and pulls her into an OCTOPUS HOLD!!

The Pink Kitten grimaces in pain and begins squirming, and Jerry Rogers goes over to ask her if she wants to give up. The Pink Kitten fervently shakes her head, but she's clearly in a lot of pain, and Sadako Momotani tightens the hold with a savage smile. The Pink Kitten's anguished writhings increase in intensity, however, and the octopus hold becomes unstable, then both women fall over to the mat in a heap! The octopus hold is broken, but Sadako Momotani wastes no time in crawling over the Pink Kitten's body, wrapping her hands around her throat, and beginning to strangle her! Jerry Rogers starts to count to five, but then loses patience, grabs Sadako Momotani's hair, and pulls her away forcefully.

The Pink Kitten starts to get up, choking and rubbing her neck, and Sadako Momotani grabs her by the back of the hair and takes her to a corner, but the Pink Kitten grabs the ropes to block! She swings an elbow back into Sadako Momotani's chest, then reaches back, grabs HER hair, and takes Sadako Momotani head-first into the turnbuckle! Sadako Momotani turns and staggers away, and the Pink Kitten boosts herself up to the second turnbuckle! Sadako Momotani turns around, and the Pink Kitten comes off onto her with a cross bodypress from the second turnbuckle! Sadako Momotani goes down under her, the Pink Kitten hooks a leg, and Jerry Rogers goes down to count... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... Kickout at two again by Sadako Momotani!

The Pink Kitten gets to her feet and pulls Sadako Momotani up into a kneelift, then scoops her up and bodyslams her on the mat! Sadako Momotani goes down, and the Pink Kitten steps out to the apron, then begins climbing one of the corners! She gets to the top as Sadako Momotani gets to her feet, but Lady Erica Whitmore quickly jumps up and shakes the ropes nearby, causing the Pink Kitten to fall crotch-first on the turnbuckle! Jerry Rogers, useless fool that he is, didn't see that, and now Sadako Momotani recovers and climbs up with the Pink Kitten!

Sadako Momotani grabs the Pink Kitten and hauls her into a front chancery for a superplex, but the Pink Kitten balls up a fist, then gives her two shots to the ribs! Sadako Momotani's grip is shaken, and the Pink Kitten pulls free, then grabs her head, draws back, and gives her a BIG headbutt! Sadako Momotani falls from the top and crashes down flat on her back, and the Pink Kitten takes a moment to right herself on the turnbuckle, then leaps off onto her with a FLYING DOUBLE FOOT STOMP!! She plants her feet deep in Sadako Momotani's abdomen from the top turnbuckle, and now it's Sadako Momotani who's clutching her midsection and writhing in pain! The crowd cheers loudly!

Sadako Momotani begins getting up again, but she's doubled over as she stands, and the Pink Kitten backs into the ropes, then comes off to take her down with a sunset flip! Jerry Rogers counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... And only two again, before Sadako Momotani kicks out! Again, Sadako Momotani's getting up, and this time the Pink Kitten whips her into a corner of the ring! Sadako Momotani crashes into the turnbuckles back-first, and the Pink Kitten runs in after her, leaps up, and brings her out with a monkey flip! The crowd cheers, and the Pink Kitten points to the ceiling and steps out to the apron, then begins going up to the top turnbuckle! Lady Erica Whitmore goes over to grab her ankle again, but this time the Pink Kitten kicks her away and gets her bearings! Sadako Momotani is up and staggering towards her, and the Pink Kitten comes off with the FLYING DROPKICK!! But Sadako Momotani dodges out of the way, and the Pink Kitten wipes out on the mat! She tries to get up quickly, but as she gets to her hands and knees Sadako Momotani just KICKS HER IN THE FACE!! The crowd boos loudly, and the Pink Kitten goes down, clutching her face.

Sadako Momotani gives the Pink Kitten a wrathful, vicious glare, then hauls her up roughly, kicks her in the midsection, and scoops her up and gives her a backbreaker! The Pink Kitten is down on the mat, and Sadako Momotani rears up and drives a knee down into the side of her ribcage, then gets up and quickly does it again! The Pink Kitten writhes in pain, and Sadako Momotani stands over her, triumphant and contemptful, basking in her opponent's misery. After a few seconds, she reaches down and pulls the Pink Kitten up into a standing headscissors, but the Pink Kitten counters with a double-leg takedown, then turns her over into a Boston crab!!

Sadako Momotani's scream of frustration and pain is drowned out by the sudden burst of cheers from the crowd as the Pink Kitten leans back on the Boston crab, putting the pressure on Sadako Momotani! Sadako Momotani cries out in pain, then begins frantically scrambling towards the ropes! She drags herself within a foot and a half of them, then collapses forward onto her face! The Pink Kitten just leans back harder, and Sadako Momotani screams again, then raises a hand as if preparing to tap out! But a mask of sadistic fury comes over her face, dismissing that idea at once, and she lowers her hand, then begins crawling the last of the distance to the ropes. After fighting for several more seconds, she makes it, to a loud drone of boos from the crowd.

Sadako Momotani pulls herself out of the ring, and Lady Erica Whitmore comes over to console her and talk strategy. As the two huddle together, the Pink Kitten takes a running start into the ropes on the opposite side, then comes off and runs towards them, and clears the top rope to dive at them with a TOPE CON HILO!! But her feet don't quite clear the top rope, and the Pink Kitten just tumbles forward to land in a heap on the floor in front of Sadako Momotani, narrowly avoiding a spill on her head by catching it on a wrist! The crowd goes silent as the Pink Kitten screams in pain, cradling her wrist close to her body. Sadako Momotani and Lady Erica Whitmore stop and stare down at the Pink Kitten for a few seconds, and then Sadako Momotani begins laughing at her! No doubt, this is EXACTLY what she wanted!

Jerry Rogers leaves the ring to check on the Pink Kitten for a few seconds, but then Sadako Momotani comes over and grabs the Pink Kitten by the hair. She pulls the Pink Kitten up and whips her into the guardrail, but somehow the Pink Kitten finds the strength to reverse it! Sadako Momotani hits the steel rail back-first, then staggers out, and the Pink Kitten backdrops her onto the thinly-padded concrete floor! The crowd cheers loudly, and Sadako Momotani arches her back in pain on the floor! The Pink Kitten grits her teeth, looks down at her wrist, then forces a smile, screams in triumph, and raises her other hand in the air!

The Pink Kitten grabs Sadako Momotani again, winces in obvious discomfort, and then rolls her into the ring. She climbs in after her, then pulls her up into a rear gutwrench position, lifts her, and then drops her awkwardly! She looked like she was going for the Tombstone, but her wrist may not have had enough strength to lift her up in that way! The Pink Kitten takes a deep breath, then screams with a contorted face as she bends down and lifts Sadako Momotani up again! She has her upside-down this time, in position for the Tombstone! But Sadako Momotani's squirming and thrashing, and she manages to tip it backwards, then counters by hauling the Pink Kitten up into the same position, and drives her down with the TOMBSTONE!! The crowd boos loudly!!

But Sadako Momotani's not going for the cover! Lady Erica Whitmore grabs a chair and slides it into the ring, but Jerry Rogers quickly grabs the chair and throws it outside again, then begins yelling at Lady Erica Whitmore! But while he's doing that, Sadako Momotani rolls out of the ring at the opposite side, then reaches under the apron and produces a STAPLE GUN!! This time, it's not an office stapler; it's an industrial-strength staple gun!! She goes over to the Pink Kitten and kicks her legs apart, then kneels between them, licks her fingers, and rubs them over the Pink Kitten's leotard-covered crotch. The moronic Jerry Rogers is still in the heat of a pointless argument with Lady Erica Whitmore, and Sadako Momotani giggles to herself, then raises the staple gun, but the Pink Kitten KICKS HER IN THE FACE!!

The crowd explodes into cheers, and Sadako Momotani drops the staple gun and falls back in shock! Sadako Momotani scrambles to her feet, and the Pink Kitten crawls over and grabs the staple gun! Sadako Momotani tries to pull her up, but the Pink Kitten cuts her off with an elbow, then stands up, draws back, and HITS HER IN THE FACE WITH THE STAPLE GUN!! It's a big, unwieldy chunk of stainless steel, and there's more than one way to use it as a weapon! Sadako Momotani drops like a sack of bricks, and Lady Erica Whitmore's pleading with Jerry Rogers to turn around now, but the Pink Kitten drops the staple gun and quickly kicks it out of the ring! Jerry Rogers turns around just in time to see an unarmed Pink Kitten cover Sadako Momotani, and he counts... ONE!! ... TWO!! ... THREE!! THE CROWD EXPLODES!! The Pink Kitten has just defeated Sadako Momotani!!

The crowd cheers loudly as the Pink Kitten stands up! Her eyes are glassy with pain, her face pale, and her jaw clenched firmly, but she's the victor in this match against Sadako Momotani! What a huge upset! When Sadako Momotani brought in the staple gun, the Pink Kitten used it in a more pragmatic fashion to knock her out and pick up the victory! Jerry Rogers goes over to the Pink Kitten, grabs her wrist, and starts to raise her hand, but the Pink Kitten cries out in pain and jerks her arm away, then turns and yells at him half-coherently! Considering that her wrist is obviously badly hurt, that wasn't a particularly great idea by Jerry Rogers.

Sadako Momotani rolls out of the ring, her hands covering her forehead, and falls at the feet of Lady Erica Whitmore. But instead of slinking backstage, she reaches down and grabs the chair that was thrown out of the ring moments ago, then slides back in with it! The Pink Kitten is preparing to leave the ring, but Sadako Momotani slides back in, holding the chair! The Pink Kitten turns around as Sadako Momotani comes forward, swinging for the fences, and she starts to bring her arms up to block, then abruptly doesn't, instead taking a NASTY unprotected chairshot to the head! The Pink Kitten goes down hard admist a chorus of "ooohhh" from the crowd, which then turns into hateful boos for Sadako Momotani!

The Pink Kitten is laid out, and Sadako Momotani is calling for something from Lady Erica Whitmore. She may be wanting that staple gun again, but Lady Erica Whitmore instead produces a screwdriver and slides it into the ring! Jerry Rogers starts forward, protesting, but Sadako Momotani turns to him with the screwdriver raised like a dagger and screams viciously at him, and Jerry Rogers backs off to cower on the other side of the ring! Sadako Momotani kneels down between the Pink Kitten's legs again, caressing the screwdriver with a horrid smile on her face, and Jerry Rogers wants nothing to do with the entire situation!

But then "Sad But True" by Metallica kicks on, and the crowd EXPLODES into cheers as Melissa DelArmeggio comes out of the backstage entrance! She runs down to the ring and slides inside, then tackles Sadako Momotani to the mat and begins unloading on her, to a huge chorus of cheers and a loud chant of "FUCK HER UP!" from the crowd! But Lady Erica Whitmore slides into the ring behind Melissa, then leaps on her back and begins choking her! Melissa DelArmeggio fights her way to her feet, staggers a few steps, and then reaches back to grab Erica by the hair, and throws her off over her shoulder! Lady Erica Whitmore crashes to the mat, then gets up to her knees, begging for mercy, only for Melissa DelArmeggio to grab her by the throat! Lady Erica Whitmore shakes her head "no" desperately, but Melissa DelArmeggio lifts her up and flings her to the canvas with a huge CHOKESLAM!!

The crowd cheers, but Sadako Momotani's getting up behind her, and she has a chair! Melissa DelArmeggio turns around, and Sadako Momotani charges and just LAYS HER OUT with a powerful, wild swing from the chair! Melissa DelArmeggio crumples to the canvas in a heap, and Sadako Momotani attacks her in a berserk rage, hitting her with the chair again and again! At least Melissa DelArmeggio managed to shift the focus of Sadako Momotani's wrath from the Pink Kitten to herself, but somehow, it's doubtful she's all that pleased with the results! Sadako Momotani looks up, her dark eyes filled with bloodlust and hate, then goes over and picks up the screwdriver again, to a huge round of boos from the crowd! She crouches over Melissa, raises the screwdriver, and begins GRINDING IT INTO HER FACE!!

But then someone else comes running out of the backstage entrance! It's LANCE ERRINGTON!! The crowd doesn't know what to think as Lance Errington runs to the ring, dressed in an expensive-looking suit with a pale lavender silk shirt and nicely-cut gray jacket, and slides inside! Sadako Momotani looks up and stands uneasily, and Lance Errington's saying something to her. that she doesn't even seem to understand. Sadako Momotani points to herself, to Lady Erica Whitmore, and to Lance Errington, then smiles wickedly and extends a hand to him! Sadako Momotani seems to sense a kindred spirit in Lance Errington, and she's offering an alliance! Lance Errington looks at Erica as she stands up, then takes a deep breath and extends a hand! He shakes Sadako Momotani's hand, to boos from the crowd, and then his left goes inside his suit jacket, pulls out a pipe wrench, and CLOBBERS Sadako Momotani with it!! She goes down, and the crowd EXPLODES!!

Lady Erica Whitmore slowly gets up and stares at Lance Errington and Sadako Momotani in dismay. She starts saying something to him gently, then reaches up to run a hand over his cheek. It seems like she's trying to get back in his good graces! We know these two have a lot of history; this time last year, Lance Errington was asking Lady Erica Whitmore to marry him, and trying to wrest her away from Falcon! Lance Errington looks at Melissa DelArmeggio, bloody and battered on the canvas, then back at Lady Erica Whitmore... and then he kicks Lady Erica Whitmore in the midsection!! He hooks her arms!! SWAN SONG!! The crowd bursts into deafening cheers again!!

Lady Erica Whitmore is laid out, Sadako Momotani is laid out, and "Perfect Strangers" by Dream Theater begins playing as Lance Errington kneels down and helps Melissa DelArmeggio up into his arms, heedless of the blood that her lacerated forehead drips onto his expensive jacket. The Pink Kitten also rolls out of the ring, where trainers begin looking at her wrist and checking her over, and it looks like the carnage is finally over.

The first part of Deck the Halls is also over. For the time being, we'll take a break. When you're ready, click on the link below to join us for Part II! We'll kick things off with a look backstage, followed by Chris Champlain and Mary Cohen taking on VCW Television Champion "Skyhawk" Quinn Harper and "Halfway Decent" Heather Dannon! All this, and much, much more is coming up on Part II of Deck the Halls!

Click here for Part II!