Monday Night Wrestling 07/30/01 (VCW 131)

Welcome, once again, to VCW Monday Night Wrestling! Tonight, we're broadcasting live from the Allstate Arena in Illinois, and we're expecting a great show tonight! We'll see two matches in the Survival of the Fittest Tournament when Troy Black faces Tommy Hustle and Lance Errington faces the Grave Digger! In addition to that, Chris Champlain will take on Owen Addison, Johnny Smiles, Bass Rogers, Paul Canyon, and Tim Bell face Hell's Bikers and Brujah in eight-man competition, Virginia and Komachi will defend the SJW World Tag Team Titles on VCW television, and in the main event Ken Collins defends the VCW Intercontinental Title against David Wright Hubbard, one-on-one! We're going to start the show off...

Hold it! Apparently we're going to start the show off with an unscheduled interview, because "Wait And Bleed" by Slipknot just started blaring over the arena sound system, and the crowd explodes into cheers as the Grave Digger steps out of the backstage entrance, with a furious look on his face. He was defeated by Crimson again last night, thanks to Lance Errington nailing him in the back of the head with the ring bell... but tonight, in a twist of poetic justice, he has a match against Lance Errington in the Survival of the Fittest tournament! He walks to the ring and climbs up on the apron, then steps in over the top rope and calls for a microphone. Could this be concerning Crimson or Lance Errington?

G. Digger: At Blood and Thunder, I was robbed of the VCW World Title, just as I was robbed of the SMCW Triple Crown World Title a long time ago. Crimson couldn't defeat me without some help from his henchmen and a shovel. And when he defeated me last week, he had help again... this time, from Lance Errington and the ring bell. Tonight... I avenge myself against Lance Errington. But that's simply the first step... for I will win the Survival of the Fittest Tournament, and at Wrestlewar, justice will be served, and the original wrong of Blood and Thunder will be righted.

The crowd cheers loudly. The Grave Digger was a one-man line of defense against the underhanded scheming of some of VCW's most villainous characters, and he may be just the man to bring Crimson down in a rematch.

G. Digger: It may not be easy. I'm not facing an over-the-hill has-been with a crippled neck and a shmuck in red facepaint. We're talking about one of the most devious minds in VCW in Lance Errington, and one of the most dangerous men in the world in Crimson. But at Blood and Thunder, before I was robbed of the title, I could feel Crimson's near-limitless strength fading. I could hear the Reaper calling for him. I--

Hold on... "Bad To The Bone" by George Thorogood just kicked on... what's this? A man steps out of the backstage entrance, wearing a Lance Errington T-shirt and black denim pants... Derek Cole!? What the hell is HE doing out here? We know he's Lance Errington's agent... could he be out to respond to what the Grave Digger has said? He has a microphone...

D. Cole: Hold it right there, big guy. The 1997 Undertaker routine isn't working anymore. You're overlooking something very important, and that something is none other than the future of this business, the best VCW has to offer, Lance Errington. You're talking about winning the Survival of the Fittest Tournament... you'll be lucky to win the first round. You're not going to win anything. You know it, too. When you were VCW World Champion... where was Lance Errington's title shot? You look big, and you talk big... but how do you explain how you systematically ducked Lance Errington?

The Grave Digger frowns and steps to the edge of the ring, staring down the ramp at Derek Cole.

G. Digger: Let me ask you one question about Lance Errington, since you're his agent. Does he pay you enough to cover your funeral expenses?

Derek Cole flashes a cocky smile at the Grave Digger, though he does take one step back.

D. Cole: Very funny. But you don't need to worry about that. I've been in martial arts for eleven years, Digger. I have a third-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. I've extensively studied Akido, and even done a little underground Thai kickboxing here and there. I'm sure you've seen all those UFC shows where some big redneck thinks he can fight professional martial artists, and ends up wallowing in his own blood as he frantically taps out... that's you, Digger. You think you can threaten me, you big dummy? My hands and feet are registered lethal weapons. I DARE you to come down here and try to take me.

Oh GOD... does this guy have a death wish!? He's probably around a hundred and sixty to a hundred and seventy pounds, and he's challenging the fucking GRAVE DIGGER!? And the Digger steps out over the top rope and starts charging down the aisle, to a thunderous roar of cheers from the crowd! Derek Cole keeps that cocky smirk on his face, but he's slowly backpedalling, extending his lifespan by a second or two... and the Grave Digger catches him next to the curtain!

Derek Cole lashes out and kicks the Grave Digger in the ribs, but it doesn't phase him! The Grave Digger grabs him by the throat... and Derek Cole grabs his wrist and strikes his elbow joint with the edge of his other hand! That technique is supposed to reliably break an attacker's arm... but the Grave Digger didn't even register it! He lifts Derek Cole by the throat... BUT GETS HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A WRENCH!! The Grave Digger drops Derek Cole and slumps to his knees, and Lance Errington steps out from behind the backstage curtain, wielding a pipe wrench, and draws back and nails the Grave Digger in the head with the wrench again! The Grave Digger goes down on the platform at the top of the ramp... and Lance Errington grabs his legs, then steps through and turns him over... SCORPION DEATHLOCK!!

The crowd boos loudly, but Lance Errington just snarls and leans into the Scorpion Deathlock! Derek Cole is still smiling... this was planned all along! He knew that he had nothing to fear, because Lance Errington was waiting around the corner with a weapon! Derek Cole kneels down beside the Grave Digger, mocking him, but he's facedown on the ramp, bleeding profusely from an opened wound in his forehead! The crowd continues to boo as Lance Errington cranks back on the hold, and a chant of "DIGGER!" starts, but he's not moving! BUT WAIT!! His head just shot up and fixed Derek Cole with a blood-covered, murderous stare, and he plants his hands on the floor and starts pushing up! He pushes his way out of the Scorpion Deathlock, and turns and grabs Lance Errington by the throat as they get up... but Derek Cole kicks him between the legs from behind! The Grave Digger doubles over, and Lance Errington grabs the pipe wrench again and NAILS him with it! The Grave Digger goes down! Lance Errington waits on him, baiting him to get up again... and when he does, he nails him with the wrench again! Come on, this isn't right! It's two-on-one, AND they have a deadly weapon, too! Not even the Grave Digger can stand up to this!

Lance Errington straddles the Grave Digger and starts raining a series of right hands down on his blood-covered face, as Derek Cole cheers him on and the crowd continues booing... and finally, here comes the H.A.R.P. Squad! They surround Lance Errington and restrain him, ignoring the protests of Derek Cole, then begin forcefully escorting both men backstage. The Grave Digger is still laid out at the top of the ramp, and here comes a team of medics. Can anyone imagine the day when the Grave Digger would leave the arena on a stretcher? What does this do to the match that was scheduled tonight? The medics begin trying to move the Grave Digger onto the stretcher... AND THE GRAVE DIGGER SITS UP!! The medics try to hold him down for his own good, and he rises up forcefully, throwing several of them off to the side, and begins stalking backstage with a murderous gleam in his eyes. No doubt, he wants to destroy Lance Errington after what we've just seen... we may need a real grave digger after tonight, because the Grave Digger may just murder Lance Errington!

Before we see our first match tonight, we're going to go backstage, where we understand that David Wright Hubbard is arriving in the building with his wife Michelle! Let's take a look at that...

Backstage...

David Wright Hubbard walks into the building, carrying a duffel bag and accompanied by his wife Michelle. But upon his entrance, he is immediately greeted by Ziggy Adderloaf, and his face winces in disgust at the inevitable impromptu interview.

Z. Adderloaf: David Wright Hubbard, we all saw that you defeated Lars Coverdale at Blood and Thunder--

D.W. Hubbard: You're goddamn right I did, boy.

Z. Adderloaf: ... So, why did you feel the need to attack him last week during his tag team match?

D.W. Hubbard: That's a stupid question if I ever heard one. Why do you THINK I attacked him last week? Because I ain't done yet. Everyone knows that it ain't no big thing for me to whip a man's ass. I figure I whipped that boy's ass about half a dozen times by now, and I still ain't had satisfaction of him.

Z. Adderloaf: Yes, you have attacked him repeatedly... but what do you want? Where is this going?

D.W. Hubbard: What do I want? What does anybody want when they set their mind to whipping a man's ass!? I want some respect. I want him to know who's boss. If he pisses me off in a dream, I want him to wake up and apologize. I want him to tip his hat to me and call me "sir" when he talks to me--

Z. Adderloaf: Lars Coverdale doesn't usually wear a hat...

D.W. Hubbard: One more smart comment outta you and I'm gonna punch you in the nose. You understand?

Z. Adderloaf: Yes, sir.

D.W. Hubbard: You're goddamn right. See, now you... you got proper respect in your voice. How do you like me now, boy?

Z. Adderloaf: Well, I--

D.W. Hubbard: Shut up when I'm talking, son, or you may get your ass whipped yet. You ain't got no call to go interrupting me.

Z. Adderloaf: Hold on--

D.W. Hubbard: No, you don't get it. There ain't no "hold on". You want to "hold on"... here, you can hold on to my bag for me.

David Wright Hubbard thrusts his duffel bag at Ziggy, who takes it and promptly begins reeling under the weight of it.

D.W. Hubbard: Don't you let it get dirty, now. If that son of a bitch touches the ground, I'm gonna be on you like women's prison inmates on a case of batteries. You hear?

Ziggy Adderloaf staggers under the weight of the bag.

Z. Adderloaf: Yes, sir...

D.W. Hubbard: Now, I got a main event against Ken Collins, for the VCW Intercontinental Title. I'm gonna whip his ass just like I whipped Lars's ass, I'm gonna win the VCW Intercontinental Title, and then next week I'm gonna whip his other friend Johnny Smiles's ass too, I'm gonna win the Survival of the Fittest tournament again, and I'm gonna go to Wrestlewar and kick Crimson's ass one more time. And then if Lars asks real nice, I may just give him a title shot and whip his ass again.

Z. Adderloaf: We certainly don't doubt that you can do it... we saw what you did last year. Michelle, do you have anything to add?

M. Hubbard: Actually, I--

D.W. Hubbard: Come on, you ain't gotta be talking to him. He ain't worth your damn time. He's a little punk who gets off on talking to pretty women. Now let's go.

David Wright Hubbard grabs Michelle Hubbard by the wrist and starts to walk away. Ziggy Adderloaf, still holding his bag, turns and stares at him strangely.

Z. Adderloaf: Um, hey, you forgot--

David Wright Hubbard whirls around and snatches his duffel bag back, then shoves Ziggy Adderloaf to the floor.

D.W. Hubbard: Trying to steal my bag, you little son of a bitch!? You're lucky I don't have time to whip your ass. Next time, you're in deep shit, boy.

David Wright Hubbard walks off down the hall, leading Michelle Hubbard by the wrist, as the camera fades out on the backstage scene.

That'll be one hell of a main event... but right now, we're going to get started with our first match! "Riders On The Storm" by Creed begins playing, and the crowd boos as "Beautiful" Bobby Danson comes out of the backstage entrance, accompanied by Nicole, Steve "Mongo" McMichael, and "Magnificent" Moy Lazzario. They walk to the ring, and Bobby Danson grabs a microphone.

B. Danson: Hi, folks. Tonight, though I'm normally one-half of the New Immortals--two great wrestlers, one great tag team--I'm going to be involved in a little one-on-one action. Who's my opponent, you ask? A certain strapping young chap named Darren Michaels.

The crowd gives a small pop for Darren Michaels, the newcomer to VCW who defeated Dave Adams last week.

B. Danson: Now, this Darren Michaels fellow has quite a football background, I understand. And I'm no dummy... I read the Ross Report, and I know that playing football automatically qualifies any wrestlers as a bad mother--

Moy Lazzario jerks the microphone away from Bobby Danson suddenly.

M. Lazzario: Shut your mouth.

B. Danson: Just talkin' about Darren Michaels.

The crowd groans and boos; Bobby Danson is MUCH too white to think about acting like Shaft.

B. Danson: Anyway, this Darren Michaels guy is supremely tough because he played football in his backyard a few times. That makes him what this industry calls a "hoss". A "hoss", for those of you not in the know, is a bastardization of the word "horse". And when it comes to horses AND football, nobody can beat former member of the Superbowl Champion Chicago Bears, former member of the Four Horsemen, Steve "Mongo" McMichael. So Mongo... I need your help. Give me some advice on how I can beat Darren Michaels tonight.

Steve McMichael takes the microphone, and the crowd groans again, as Moy Lazzario and Nicole exchange a resigned glance, and Bobby Danson looks on eagerly.

S. McMichael: Now, ya see here, Beautiful Bobby, what took the Chicago Bears to the Superbowl was a first-rate defense. So you gotta stay on your guard, don't let him get nothing through, and whoop on him every chance you get on offense. You gotta show him who the man is, my friend. This kid used to be a quarterback, and the one thing you gotta do is take him down and take away his offense.

B. Danson: Right you are, Mongo. So my strategy for this match will be to take him down right away and never let him get in any offense. Splendid! Send this poor sucker out here!

"Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock begins playing, and it looks like Bobby Danson will get his wish, because Darren Michaels is running out of the backstage area! He jogs to the ring, slapping hands with the fans on his way, and slides inside, then quickly takes off his football jersey and turns to pose for the crowd! But that proves to be costly, since Bobby Danson clobbers him from behind! Linda Peterson enters the ring and calls for the bell, and we've got a match!

"Beautiful" Bobby Danson
w/Nicole, Steve "Mongo" McMichael, & "Magnificent" Moy Lazzario

vs.

Darren Michaels

Bobby Danson takes advantage of his ill-gotten early edge and his superior wrestling ability, taking Darren Michaels to the mat and working over his back, trying to take away his strength. Bobby Danson has been on the receiving end of that tactic a time or two, and he's now employing it pretty effectively. But Darren Michaels doesn't want to stay down or give up early, and he fights back, clobbering Bobby Danson with a number of power moves of his own and getting in his own offense. But this comes to a halt when Moy Lazzario pulls down the top rope as he runs into the ropes, causing Darren Michaels to tumble out to the floor. Things take a grim turn on the floor, as Bobby Danson distracts Linda Peterson while Nicole hits Darren Michaels in the back with her croquet mallet, then Moy Lazzario grabs his head as he doubles over and gives him an Ace Crusher. Finally, Mongo picks Darren up, rams him back-first into the steel ringpost, and rolls him into the ring. Bobby Danson goes for the cover, as the crowd boos... but Darren Michaels kicks out at two!!

Frustrated at Darren's apparent surplus of remaining strength, Bobby Danson whips Darren Michaels into the turnbuckles, then brings him down with a backbreaker when he staggers out. He goes up to the top turnbuckle and leaps off... MINNESOTA JAM!! But Darren Michaels rolls out of the way, and Bobby Danson crashes down on his tailbone! They both get up slowly, and Darren Michaels blocks a punch from Bobby Danson, then goes on offense, with his assaulted back suddenly making a miraculous recovery. He batters Bobby Danson from pillar to post, then brings him down with a huge football tackle. Bobby Danson goes down hard, so Darren Michaels goes into a three-point stance and absolutely KILLS him with a running clothesline as he gets up! But he makes the mistake of trying it again, and Bobby Danson wraps around behind him and gives him a German suplex for two and a half! Bobby Danson signals for the end and picks Darren Michaels up for the Running Powerslam, but Darren Michaels slips out behind him! Bobby Danson turns around, right into a kick to the midsection from Darren Michaels, who follows up by shooting him into the turnbuckles. Bobby Danson hits the turnbuckles and staggers out as Darren Michaels mounts the turnbuckles on the opposite side, then leaps off... LONG BOMB!! He just sailed more than halfway diagonally across the ring to spear Bobby Danson nearly out of his boots! Bobby Danson looks like he's been run over by a bus, and Darren Michaels covers and gets three!

Darren Michaels pinned Bobby Danson with the Long Bomb in 0:06:47.
Rating: 1/2*

One certainly can't question the athleticism of Darren Michaels after seeing that move, though perhaps one can question why he doesn't seem to be feeling the least bit of pain in his back after Bobby Danson's focused assault. But now Moy Lazzario enters the ring and rushes Darren Michaels with a Thesz press... but Darren Michaels catches him and brings him down hard with a spinebuster! Mongo's in, and he rushes at Darren Michaels with a football tackle, but Darren Michaels leapfrogs over him, then bounces off the ropes and spears Mongo to the mat! Nicole creeps up behind Darren Michaels and raises the croquet mallet as Lazzario, Danson, and Mongo roll out of the ring... but he turns around and catches the croquet mallet as she swings it, then jerks it away and tosses it aside! Nicole backs up quickly and begins begging off... but Darren Michaels grabs her and Gorilla Presses her over his head, then tosses her out over the top rope onto Moy Lazzario, Bobby Danson, and Mongo as they get up, sending all four of them down in a heap! The crowd explodes into cheers, and by cleaning house on the New Immortals, Darren Michaels may be starting to win over some more fans!

The New Immortals and their entourage clear out and start heading backstage, and after a little bit of celebration and posing, Darren Michaels follows. We're going to be going directly to our next match now... "Tziganne" by Bozzio, Levin, and Stevens begins playing, and that brings out the team of Monty Pompous and Brian Rivera, an unlikely pairing that was born last week, accompanied by Stormy Weathers. They're both wearing silk slacks and silk shirts, but Brian Rivera's clothes seem a little bit more rumpled and unkempt, and his shirt's not tucked in. When they enter the ring, Monty Pompous doffs his shirt and slacks to reveal a pair of black wrestling trunks underneath, and Brian Rivera does likewise, except that his disrobing reveals a pair of boxer shorts with red hearts, to the visible dismay of Monty Pompous. Nevertheless, Monty Pompous allows an arrogant sneer to return to his face as he calls for a microphone.

M. Pompous: Well met, you great horde of barbarians! I, Monty Pompous, have arrived to bring a bit of finer grace and athleticism to the wrestling ring, along with my picaresque companion Brian Rivera. Under my tutelage, he is becoming quite a high-class gentleman, and all of you people would be advised to watch and learn and do the same. Tonight, we shall sally forth into battle against two great, barbaric villains known as the Wrecking Crew, and our pride, honor, and gallantry shall carry the day. It will be a fine sport, my companion!

Monty Pompous places his fists on his hips, throws his head back, and laughs... but Brian Rivera seizes this opportunity to grab the microphone! Oh, no...

B. Rivera: That's right, fools! Me and Monty P are two high-class, bad-ass, name-takin', booty-kickin' bad boys from the RIGHT side of the tracks. The motherfuckin' B to the R is done with this street gangsta shit, and from now on I'm living the high life, bubba! I ain't fucking no more ghetto-ass bitches... only high dollar hos for this bad boy. I sold my old place and bought me a hundred thousand dollar double-wide, and that sumbitch got TWO bathrooms!! I done threw out my microwave... I got a personal chef to cook all my fried chicken and macaroni and cheese now. I even got season tickets in a luxury box for NASCAR, so I ain't gonna have to watch it on some little TV screen like all you po' folks. I'm finna be living in style, smoking weed, doing coke, drinking expensive imported beers, and fucking all them high society bitches--

Monty Pompous snaps out of his horrified stare at Brian Rivera and jerks the microphone away from him, then throws it aside and begins scolding him harshly in the middle of the ring. Evidently he's none too pleased with his partner's behavior... but things aren't going to get any better for him, because "Domination" by Pantera kicks on over the arena sound system, and that brings out Blade and John Uldwall, the Wrecking Crew, who look like they're clearly in no mood to fool around with the likes of these two. They slide into the ring and begin beating the hell out of Brian Rivera and Monty Pompous, as Brendan Powers enters the ring and calls for the bell!

Monty Pompous & Brian Rivera
w/Stormy Weathers

vs.

Wrecking Crew

The Wrecking Crew controls most of this match, as it's obvious that Monty Pompous and Brian Rivera don't get along well in the teamwork department. Brian Rivera goofs off too much, squandering the advantage they fight so hard to get by doing a jiggy dance in between throwing punches (allowing Blade a chance to recover and block the incoming haymaker after the dance), and generally making an ass of himself and blowing off the match. Monty Pompous tries to shoulder more of the responsibility himself, but that only makes matters worse as the Wrecking Crew works him over, while Brian Rivera is all too happy to act like an idiot on the apron and be of no help whatsoever.

Finally, in exasperation, Monty Pompous tags in Brian Rivera after countering a John Uldwall backdrop attempt with a swift kick to the head and a leaping clothesline, then rolls out of the ring. Brian Rivera comes in and actually starts doing pretty well for himself at first, using some quickness to handle both Wrecking Crew members. But he soon blows his advantage by turning his back and goofing off again, and the Wrecking Crew takes control. Monty Pompous starts in to help him, but then decides better of it and grabs a folding chair... is he going to enter the ring and get disqualified!? No... he sets it up at ringside, then pulls out a bottle of wine and a wineglass, and starts taking a wine break! Stormy Weathers comes over to Monty Pompous and yells at him to do something... but Monty Pompous just glares at him and finishes his wine!

Back in the ring. Brian Rivera low blows Blade, then crawls to his corner and reaches out to Monty Pompous... but now Monty Pompous gets up and grabs the chair, then swings it at his head! Brian Rivera goes down hard after the chairshot, and Monty Pompous turns and starts walking away, as Blade gets up in the middle of the ring! Brian Rivera starts to get up, but Blade goes to the top turnbuckle, and John Uldwall crouches in the other corner... BREAKDOWN!! They hit it, and Blade goes for the cover and gets three! The team of Monty Pompous and Brian Rivera is over as quickly as it started!

The Wrecking Crew defeated Monty Pompous and Brian Rivera when Blade pinned B. Rivera with the Breakdown in 0:08:59.
Rating: *

The Wrecking Crew are the winners of this match, and it looks like Brian Rivera might just have some issues with Monty Pompous when he gets up. But perhaps it was his fault, in seeking out such an incompatible partner. In any case, we'll deal with that later... right now, we're hearing that we're going to see some more footage from the Royal Palace of Bonarbor!

In the Royal Palace of Bonarbor:

Sophie is shown laying around in her lavish bedroom, sometime in the early morning. She runs her eyes sleepily and sits up, wearing a frilly pink nightgown, then looks around her room and yawns.

Sophie: Huh? That's odd... I thought Elderon said that my totem animal would show up sometime during the night. Oh well... maybe it's late. More sleep for me...

Sophie flops down on her bed again, but her door slowly creaks open, and a small penguin waddles in, announcing its presence with a little squawk. Sophie looks up, startled, but then sees the penguin and relaxes.

Sophie: Whew! You scared me, little penguin. You're a long way from the North Pole, aren't you?

The penguin squawks in reply, and Sophie smiles at it.

Sophie: Yeah, I can imagine. Anyway... not to be rude or anything, but you better leave. My totem animal's due to show up any time now, and it'll probably be something big and fierce that would eat up a little penguin like you. I don't want you to get hurt or anything.

The penguin does a little hop, then squawks again and waddles over to Sophie's bedside. Sophie frowns, then gently nudges it away.

Sophie: Go on, I said beat it. I don't want you to get hurt! There'll be something big and mean coming soon, with sharp teeth and claws.

The penguin gives Sophie another little squawk, and stubbornly walks back to her bedside. She is about to rebuke it again when Elderon, the court wizard, walks in through the open door.

Sophie: Elderon! You need to knock first before you come in my chamber! What if I was having sex or something!? Remember what happened last time?

Elderon stifles a grunt of outrage as his eyes widen. Oblivious, Sophie keeps talking to him.

Sophie: Anyway, my totem animal's still not here yet, but this silly little penguin came in and it won't leave. You'd better get it out of here before my totem animal shows up, because things might get ugly.

Elderon's eyes flash to the penguin, and his stare widens even more as he spends a few more speechless seconds staring.

Sophie: Well, don't just stand there... get this penguin outta here! Cast some sort of animal control spell on it or something!

Elderon: Princess Sophia... er... that penguin IS your totem animal.

Sophie: WHAT!?

Elderon: Yes, see--

Sophie bolts up out of bed, eyes wide in a horrified, angry stare as she whirls to look accusingly first at Elderon, then the penguin.

Sophie: You mean I'm a royal princess, I'm the only one with the potential to save the world, and my totem animal is a frigging PENGIUN!?

The penguin steps towards Sophie timidly, offering a quiet squawk.

Sophie: No, I don't wanna hear it, buster!! Get outta my room now!!

Sophie snatches up a broom from the wall and begins chasing the penguin around the room, whacking it with the broom and yelling at it as it squawks pathetically.

Sophie: Yeah, get outta here, you little dickens! Eat some straw! Take THAT!! And THAT!! Get back to the North Pole! Put up your wings!!

Elderon steps forward, horrified, and grabs the broom from Sophie as the penguin retreats to a corner, gasping and squawking in breathless terror.

Elderon: Sophia, NO!! You must ALWAYS treat your totem animal with respect, love, and compassion!!

Sophie: But... but... it's a stupid PENGUIN!!

Elderon: Your totem animal is decided based on what's in your heart. There must be a reason for this that we cannot understand.

Sophie: But I didn't WANT a penguin! I... I need to be alone...

Elderon: As you wish.

Elderon withdraws from the room and closes the door behind him, as Sophie collapses to the bed and starts crying. The penguin slowly, cautiously approaches her, then hops up on the bed and pats Sophie gently on the back with one of its wings. Still sobbing, she reaches out and hugs the penguin, then begins crying into its downy shoulder as the scene fades out.

Right, then. We'll just let that scene stand on its own and move on with the show... we're going to go backstage to see Troy Black and Tommy Hustle, the two participants in our next Survival of the Fittest Tournament match, and then we're going to go to see that match! Let's take a look now!

Backstage...

Ziggy Adderloaf is shown standing backstage with Tommy Hustle, who seems ready and eager for his tournament match.

Z. Adderloaf: All right, Tommy Hustle... in a few moments, you'll be facing your biggest challenge yet in VCW, when you take on Troy Black himself. What are your thoughts on the biggest match of your career?

T. Hustle: It's like this, Ziggy. I got all the respect in the world for Troy Black... I know who he is, and where he's been. And I ain't gonna sell him short. But he better not sell me short either. Because I ain't gonna get distracted by what all my brothers and sisters are doing like he is. I ain't gonna focus on NOTHING but winning Survival of the Fittest, starting with Troy Black. And then, whether it's Lance Errington or the Grave Digger, whoever I get in the next round is going down too.

See, I want this BAD. I wanted this ever since I was a little ten-year-old kid watching NCWA shows on my fourteen-inch TV with a stack of wrestling magazines in my bedroom. If you can't make it to Wrestlewar... then your ass can't MAKE it, plain and simple. This is my shot at the big time, and I want it REAL bad. Does Troy Black still want it? Is he as hungry as me? Or is he just a little bit distracted with all the shit going down around him? We're gonna find out, ain't we, Ziggy?

Z. Adderloaf: We certainly are. Good luck, Tommy... no offense, but I have a feeling you'll need it.

T. Hustle: Yeah, we'll see about that.

Tommy Hustle turns and walks away with determination, as the camera fades out on the backstage scene...

Backstage...

... and it fades into Troy Black's locker room, once again set with a expensive catering table and lavish furniture. Troy Black sighs and gets up, as Rebecca Black walks in, wearing a fishnet bodysuit with a leather halter top and thong over it. Troy Black's eyes widen briefly, then turns away with a grimace.

T. Black: Oh, for God's sake, Rebecca...

Rebecca Black smiles and turns around, showing off the outfit (or lack thereof).

R. Black: Whaddaya think? Have you given any thought to what I said last week?

T. Black: Look, Rebecca... don't take this wrong, because I appreciate that you're probably the only person still sticking around for me these days... but you're my sister. The thought of having sex with you makes me physically sick.

R. Black: Just give it a try. Fuck me once, and try to tell me I'm not the best you've ever had.

T. Black: I don't think so. Now... look, I've got a match in a few seconds. Are you going out there dressed like that?

R. Black: Sure, why not? Maybe it'll distract your opponent. Hell, maybe it'll distract YOU a little more than you think it will.

T. Black: Yes, it IS distracting me. Look, this whole thing is... awkward. I have a hard time concentrating on my match because of you.

R. Black: Ooh... you're finally admitting it? Get those pants off, and we'll take care of this real quick so you can get your mind on more important things.

T. Black: It's not distracting me in THAT sense. It disturbs me. I feel uncomfortable around you.

R. Black: Relax... this is Tommy Hustle you're wrestling. Tommy FUCKING Hustle. He couldn't beat you if you had one arm behind your back, and the other arm helping him out. Just go out there, phone it in, and slap him around... then when we get back to the locker room, if this outfit bothers you so much... maybe I'll just take it off.

Troy Black shivers with disgust and turns away from Rebecca.

T. Black: Let's just go out to the ring, okay?

Rebecca Black places a hand on Troy Black's shoulder, with her seductive exterior breaking as she becomes sad and dejected. Her voice cracks as she speaks again.

R. Black: Troy... it doesn't have to be this way. It can be so beautiful and clean. Forget what our society says is right and wrong. Just--

T. Black: You know what? Why don't YOU stay back here? I'LL go to the ring. You stay here. Okay?

Troy Black turns and practically runs out of the room, and Rebecca Black stares after him, with tears running down her cheeks and streaking her makeup, as the camera fades out on the backstage scene.

Obviously, these two men are coming from very different situations... could the unthinkable really happen? Could Tommy Hustle actually defeat Troy Black? We're about to find out... "Stuntman" by 24/7 Spyz is playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd cheers as Tommy Hustle comes out of the backstage entrance, walking to the ring with a determined, but calm focus. He enters the ring and begins stretching and shadow-boxing to loosen up for this match. He has to know he's going in there against perhaps the toughest opponent in VCW... will we see a miracle tonight? Can Tommy Hustle win?

The crowd explodes into deafening boos as the arena lights are replaced by dim silver-blue lights and "Favorite Things" by Incubus begins playing over the arena sound system, bringing out Troy Black. He walks to the ring quickly, but his eyes are still wide and disturbed, and he's constantly looking around nervously, sometimes pausing to shake his head and rub his forehead as he tries to get his mind together. Finally, he enters the ring, and without any posing begins pacing in one of the corners. Jerry Rogers climbs into the ring and calls for the bell, and this match begins now!

Survival Of The Fittest
First Round Match:

Tommy Hustle

vs.

Troy Black

From the opening lockup, Tommy Hustle surprises everybody by taking Troy Black to the mat and wrestling him into a headlock, then grinding on his neck. Tommy Hustle's game plan soon becomes obvious, as he tries to wear down Troy Black's neck quickly, without allowing him any offense. Troy Black snaps out of his daze and tries to fight back, but amazingly Tommy Hustle keeps up with him through several wrestling exchanges, always returning to an assault on the neck and keeping Troy Black's recapture of the advantage short-lived. The crowd is just loving it as Tommy Hustle takes apart Troy Black, getting behind him with huge bursts of cheers.

The match spills to the outside of the ring, and Tommy Hustle leaps out after Troy Black with a corkscrew plancha, then continues the assault on the outside. But when he whips Troy Black into the guardrail, Troy Black leaps up on the guardrail and springs back with a moonsault that takes Tommy Hustle down, then tears into him viciously, opening him up with a shot to the steel ringpost, then pulling him up on the announcers' table. He hooks him on the table for a double arm DDT... but Tommy Hustle counters with a backdrop, and Troy Black lands on his head, neck, and shoulders at a SICK angle on the thinly padded concrete floor, earning a huge round of cheers and "oooh"s, then a chant of "HOLY SHIT!" as even Tommy Hustle turns to stare at Troy Black. But he soon gets over his shock, rolling him back into the ring and following it up with a springboard Thesz press that actually gets him a near-fall!!

Troy Black gets up groggily, but Tommy Hustle drops him with a brain buster, then heads up to the top rope... FLYING SOMERSAULT HEADBUTT!! He covers Troy Black, and Jerry Rogers counts... but Troy Black somehow throws a shoulder up!! Tommy Hustle gets up again, then pulls Troy Black up for the Backdrop Driver... but Troy Black flips out behind him on the lift! Tommy Hustle turns around, into a throat jab from Troy Black... but no, he catches his hand, then whips him into the ropes! He swings a clothesline as Troy Black comes off... but Troy Black ducks under it, then runs into the other side and comes off with a huge leaping clothesline that knocks Tommy Hustle down!

Troy Black's slow to get up, and Tommy Hustle's actually first to his feet... but Troy Black blocks a punch, then kicks him in the midsection and hooks him for the double arm DDT... no, Tommy Hustle shoves him back! Troy Black charges, but Tommy Hustle ducks a spin kick, and Troy Black collapses rather awkwardly into the turnbuckles! He staggers back... INTO THE BACKDROP DRIVER!! Tommy Hustle just dropped Troy Black right on his head!! He gets up, and with a broad smile he gestures to Troy Black and makes a flat line with his hands to the cheering crowd... BUT TROY BLACK SITS UP!! Tommy Hustle hears the crowd's overwhelming drone of boos, and turns around... and his eyes go wide as he sees Troy Black staring back at him! A look of pure terror crosses his bloody face as he audibly yells, "OH, DAAYYMN!!" and starts to back up... KICK TO THE MIDSECTION!! Tommy Hustle doubles over... DOUBLE ARM DDT!! And Troy Black goes up... BLACK DAGGER!! He goes for the cover, Jerry Rogers counts... and it's OVER!!

Survival of the Fittest Tournament Match -Round One:
Troy Black pinned Tommy Hustle with the Black Dagger in 0:07:11.
Rating: ***

The crowd boos loudly, but Troy Black manages a weak smile as he puts his hand to the back of his neck and raises the other in victory... he has defeated Tommy Hustle, and perhaps now he has restored a little bit of his confidence and focus that recent issues with Gabriel Black and Rebecca Black have sapped. He's moving on in the tournament, to face either Lance Errington or the Grave Digger...

BUT WAIT!! "Denial" by Sevendust begins playing, and Troy Black's smile vanishes as Gabriel Black steps out of the backstage entrance, to a thunderous pop from the crowd! For the first time in nearly six months on free TV, Gabriel Black is here, live and in person, and Troy Black's not happy about it! He walks to the ring and climbs inside, as Troy Black shakes his head "no" and backs up into a corner... and Gabriel Black calls for a microphone! He gets it...

G. Black: Step forward a little bit, Troy. The least you can do is stand here and face me like a man instead of hiding in the corner.

Troy Black gets a microphone as well, and steps forward...

T. Black: It's not that. I'm not afraid of you. But I don't want to fight you right now. I don't want to fight you again, period. I have a lot on my mind... and maybe what I did at Wrestlewar was wrong. But we're even now, and maybe--

G. Black: Not afraid of me? You damn well should be. I'm here to end your career, and you barely beat this rookie from the minor leagues... and you're not afraid of me?

T. Black: Come on, Gabriel. Not now. You've seen what's happened in the past few weeks. I know I've made some bad choices... but they're all catching up to me now. The few people who used to call themselves my friends all hate me now. The Black Plague is over... it's me, a bedridden Lorenzo Vasquez, and Brujah, who still won't speak to me after Blood and Thunder. The only person who still wants me around is my sister, and she wants to get into my pants, and it makes me sick, but she's all I have left. My life is a goddamn MESS, Gabriel, and I KNOW it's all my fault... please, leave me alone. I'm sorry. About Wrestlewar... about everything. I'm sorry.

The crowd boos, and a loud "TROY'S A PUSSY!" chant starts, as Gabriel Black raises an eyebrow.

G. Black: So you stabbed me in the back and tried to end my career, and now you say you're sorry. You try to take over VCW, ruining people's lives every step of the way, shortening careers, and crushing Melissa's heart, and you're sorry. You tried to break my back, when my wife was eight and a half months pregnant with my little girl, and you're SORRY!? You can't tell me you're sorry this time, Troy. Sorry's not good enough. I'm here to avenge myself and all the other people you trampled. I'm here to eliminate the threat you pose once and for all. I'm here to END your CAREER. You can either retire now... or you can retire when a doctor won't let you back into the ring.

T. Black: Gabriel... my career's all I have left. It's not enough that I don't have any friends, that now I've spent almost all of my money on SMCW workers who turned against me one by one? All I have are my health, and my dreams, and it's my fault... but you can't take EVERYTHING from me.

G. Black: You tried to take my career from me, Troy. At least I'm being up front and telling you what I intend to do, instead of betraying you at the biggest event in VCW history. You don't have a family. You don't have the kind of emotional and financial responsibility I do. And Troy... I'm giving you a way out. I'm letting you off EASY. You can get your release tonight and go home... or you can take a Destiny Driver and go to the hospital. Make your choice.

Troy Black stares at Gabriel Black for a second, and the crowd's chant starts again, then slowly gets louder... and Troy Black turns away. He starts to walk away, but Gabriel Black grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around to face him again.

G. Black: You turn your back on me again, and it'll be the last mistake you live to make.

Troy Black hesitates again... and he turns away again! Gabriel Black immediately clobbers him from behind, then tosses him into a corner and begins unloading on him with a series of right hands as the crowd erupts! Troy Black staggers out of the corner, into a kick to the midsection and a DDT from Gabriel Black!! The crowd cheers... and the cheers continue as Gabriel Black heads up to the top turnbuckle! Troy Black gets up, facing away from Gabriel Black... and gets a Destiny Hammer right in the back of the neck!! He crumples to the mat, and Gabriel Black points down at Troy, then motions for the Destiny Driver to an enormous pop from the crowd... but someone's running out of the backstage entrance! Rebecca Black! The crowd's boos are mixed with catcalls and whistles as she runs to the ring, still in the revealing outfit from earlier, and throws herself over Troy Black! She picks up a microphone...

R. Black: NO!! I WON'T let you hurt him!! The next time you lay a hand on him, it's over my DEAD fucking BODY, Gabriel!!

Gabriel Black shrugs... and he pulls Rebecca up by the hair and stiffs her with a huge punch to the face, drawing another thunderous roar of cheers from the crowd! Rebecca Black goes down, bleeding from the nose, and Gabriel Black bends down to pick Troy up... but here comes the H.A.R.P. Squad! About six or seven of them come running down the ramp, to a huge round of boos from the crowd, and they slide into the ring! Gabriel Black takes one of them down with a powerful right hand, but a couple of the others swarm him and hold him back, as the others pull Rebecca Black and Troy Black from the ring.

But Gabriel Black struggles against the men holding him back... and he squirms free from one, then brings a foot up behind him to kick the other one in the crotch! He tosses the first man out, then grabs the second and lifts him, as an expression of terror crosses the man's face! Another H.A.R.P. Squad member dives for him, but doesn't make it in time... DESTINY DRIVER!! The crowd explodes into cheers, and Gabriel Black rolls out of the ring as a couple of the H.A.R.P. Squad break away to check on their fallen comrade. Still others are still guarding Troy and Rebecca Black, and Gabriel Black shoots them a murderous glare as he withdraws to the backstage entrance, with the crowd still cheering him on. Gabriel Black is fueled by an unmistakable rage... but is he going too far? It's not hard to see why he feels the way he does, but do the ends justify the means? Has his hunger for revenge pulled him down to Troy Black's level?

Troy Black gets to his feet, then after a moment's hesitation, he grimaces and helps Rebecca Black up. She throws her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder, and he reluctantly returns her hug, patting her on the back to comfort her, then pulls away. Now they're heading backstage with the H.A.R.P. Squad carefully watching them, much to Troy Black's dismay. As they leave, we're going to take a look backstage at Johnny Smiles, who will be part of a big eight-man tag team match tonight!

Backstage...

Johnny Smiles is hanging out backstage at a table in the dining room with Lars Coverdale, Russel "The Muscle" Taylor, and Sumiko the stuffed cat. Lars and Russel seem to be preparing to go.

L. Coverdale: Hey, Johnny... we've got a match in a few seconds against the Hammer of the Gods. We'll be back to hang with you in a few minutes, dude... right now, we've gotta fly.

R. Taylor: Yeah... we're gonna teach those no-good scoundrels a lesson. Take care, Johnny, and wish us luck!

J. Smiles: Good luck, guys. Sumiko and I know you can do it.

Lars Coverdale and Russel Taylor smile and walk away, leaving Johnny Smiles and Sumiko the cat at the table. Johnny turns to Sumiko with a smile.

J. Smiles: So, it's just you and me, Sumiko. How'd you like your trip to Japan with Yuri? ... You were made in Japan, you know. It says so on your tag. Did the shipping people handle you with care? Because, you know, I made sure to tell Yuri to write "handle with care" on your package when she sent you back from Japan. .

Sumiko sits there quietly, not moving or speaking. Considering that Sumiko is a stuffed animal, this is not the least bit odd. But suddenly, Virginia walks up on the scene, with a smirk on her face.

Virginia: Really, Johnny... talking to stuffed animals? I knew you were pathetic when I beat you so easily last week, but this... damn, this is sad. You're twenty-six fucking years old, and you're hanging around with a STUFFED ANIMAL.

Johnny Smiles looks up at Virginia with an angry frown.

J. Smiles: Yeah? I think you're just jealous. Sumiko's great, and I'd much rather be around her than you.

Virginia: Is that so?

Virginia lunges forward suddenly, pushing Johnny out of his chair. He falls backwards and scrambles to his feet, but in the time it takes him to get up, Virginia snatches Sumiko up, then pulls a butane lighter out of her pocket as she quickly takes several steps back.

Virginia: I'm gonna do you a HUGE favor, Johnny. You'll thank me later for ending your loserhood.

J. Smiles: SUMIKO!! NOOOOO!!!

Johnny Smiles lunges forward, but trips over his own chair and falls to the floor again. He looks up with a helpless stare as Virginia laughs, then flicks on the lighter... but suddenly, a short woman in a pink latex leotard with black leopard spots on it and black fabric sleeves and leggings, wearing a cat-like wrestling mask, leaps up on the table behind Virginia, then jumps off to nail her in the back with a dropkick! Virginia drops Sumiko and falls forward, and the woman picks up a chair, then clobbers Virginia with it as she stands up! Virginia scrambles to her feet, but now Johnny is up as well, holding his chair, and she backs away, looking back and forth at both of them angrily.

Virginia: You're both lucky Komachi's back in the dressing room, or we'd tear you and your fucking stuffed cat a new ass.

Virginia glares at them again, then storms out of the room, as Johnny Smiles turns to the woman with a look of gratitude.

J. Smiles: Is that...

The woman pulls off her cat-like mask, revealing that she's Yuri Sonoda.

J. Smiles: YURI!! It IS you! Thank goodness you're back... Sumiko was almost toast. ... Oh, hey, nice mask!

Yuri Sonoda blushes and smiles.

Y. Sonoda: Thanks. It's my new gimmick. I got it while I was in Japan, because Sumiko has inspired me so much. From now on, I'll be known as the Pink Kitten.

J. Smiles: Cool. I wish I'd thought of that. It really suits you, Pink... er... Miss Kitten... eh... hmm. Mind if I call you Yuri anyway?

The Pink Kitten, Yuri Sonoda, just smiles and takes a seat at the table.

P. Kitten: Sure. Anyway, I'm back. Christina and I finally decided to come back. We left for a week or so to Japan because of the whole situation with Falcon and Desmond, Amy, and Troy... Melissa's still taking it hard, but Christina's working on her, and I think she'll be back too.

J. Smiles: And... um... the office doesn't mind you saying all this, with the cameras around and all?

P. Kitten: Naw. They're just glad we decided to come back. Somebody's gotta shut Virginia and Komachi up, you know.

J. Smiles: Well, this calls for a celebration. Waiter... bring us two glasses of Pepsi!

Johnny Smiles looks around, seeing that there is no waiter. The server behind the catering table just stares at him with a look that lets him know that he won't be acting as a waiter anytime soon.

J. Smiles: Oops... yeah. Guess I have to get up and get it myself.

The Pink Kitten giggles as Johnny Smiles walks to the vending machine and starts pumping in quarters.

P. Kitten: Make mine a diet, please.

J. Smiles: Lightweight.

P. Kitten: And intending to stay that way, thank you very much.

Johnny Smiles shrugs, then punches a few buttons, and returns with two cans of Pepsi, one diet and one regular.

J. Smiles: Sorry, Sumiko... you can't have any. It'll make your fur all sticky.

Johnny Smiles hands the Diet Pepsi to the Pink Kitten, and she opens it and raises it.

P. Kitten: Here's a toast... to friendship, happiness, and a bright future!

J. Smiles: And to soft, fuzzy, pink cats!

Johnny Smiles and the Pink Kitten bring their cans together with a slosh of foamy cola, then drink, as the camera fades out on the backstage scene.

It looks like Yuri Sonoda, now known as the Pink Kitten, is back with us after a week spent in Japan, and Christina Ellis is to follow. And it may be that things are looking up for Johnny just a little bit, after his two recent crushing losses, with the return of a new ally. We'll see him in action later on, with Bass Rogers, Tim Bell, and Paul Canyon against Hell's Bikers and VCW Television Champion Brujah. We'll also see Virginia and Komachi defend the SJW World Tag Team Titles against Rachel Helms and Venus Andrea from Amazing Ladies' Wrestling.

But first, we're going to see a different tag team match! "Talk Dirty To Me" by Poison begins playing, and the crowd cheers as Lars Coverdale and Russel "The Muscle" Taylor make their way out of the backstage entrance, to a round of cheers from the crowd. They jog to the ring, slapping hands with the fans on their way, then slide inside. Lars Coverdale begins headbanging and playing air guitar to his music, and with some encouragement gets Russel Taylor to try it as well, though his sense of rhythm leaves a lot to be desired.

But now "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin begins playing, and the crowd boos as Jacob Idol and Julian Page of the Hammer of the Gods come out of the backstage entrance, accompanied by Jasmina Chastity. As they walk down the ramp, they seem to be amused by their opponents... as usual, they're cocky, elitist bastards who think they're better than everyone else. Their opponents might be a little offbeat, but Lars Coverdale is one hell of a high-flying wrestler, and Russel Taylor is a true powerhouse... if only they can keep their flaky personalities in check and work together, they definitely have a good shot at winning this match. Nevertheless, Jacob Idol and Julian Page don't think that'll happen, and they remain cocky as they enter the ring and loosen up for the match. Bobcat McGavin enters the ring and calls for the bell, and it's on!

Hammer of the Gods (Julian Page & Jacob Idol)
w/Jasmina Chastity

vs.

Lars Coverdale & Russel "The Muscle" Taylor

Jacob Idol starts off with some nice arm-work, taking the advantage on Russel Taylor, and the Hammer of the Gods controls briefly in the opening minutes. But then Russel Taylor manages to counter an armwringer with a whip to the ropes and drop Jacob Idol with a clothesline from his good arm. Both men tag out, and the match becomes a lot more even as it goes back and forth, with all four men tagging in and out. Julian Page takes some punishment as the Ric Flair to Russel Taylor's Hulk Hogan, and Jacob Idol and Lars Coverdale face off in a few beautiful chain wrestling sequences that get pops from the crowd. But the advantage shifts again when Russel Taylor goes for a shoulderblock on Jacob Idol and only succeeds in ramming his shoulder right into the ringpost.

Naturally, the Hammer of the Gods hones in on that injury immediately, and they isolate Russel Taylor and start brutalizing his right arm. For a few minutes, the situation looks bleak as they systematically cut off all tags and keep him from mounting a comeback. Once, after backdropping out of an attempted Swan Song, Russel Taylor actually makes it to his corner for a tag, but Jasmina Chastity distracts Bobcat McGavin, and he doesn't see the tag, so he shoos Lars Coverdale back to his corner, in the process enabling some double-teaming from the Hammer of the Gods behind his back. Finally, Jacob Idol brings Russel Taylor down into an armbar submission, and the grimace of pain on his face makes his suffering evident... but the crowd starts getting behind him! He taps rhythmically on the mat with his feet, and soon the crowd is stomping and clapping to the rhythm as Russel Taylor inches to his corner! Jacob Idol starts to worry as he cranks back on the hold, continuing to pour on the abuse... but Russel Taylor finally makes it, and tags in Lars Coverdale!

Lars Coverdale enters the ring and begins cleaning house, taking down both of his opponents with rapid dropkicks and armdrags, then dumping Julian Page to the outside. Russel Taylor takes care of Julian Page, brawling with him on the outside, as Lars Coverdale kicks his offense into high gear against Jacob Idol, bringing him down repeatedly. He hits a Rocker Dropper for two and a half, and gets a near fall with a superkick before Jasmina Chastity puts Jacob Idol's foot on the ropes. But meanwhile, Chris Champlain stalks out of the backstage entrance, carrying a railroad spike! He creeps down to ringside, comes up behind Russel Taylor... and NAILS him in the elbow with the pipe! Russel Taylor drops to the floor in pain, and Chris Champlain slinks away, unseen by Bobcat McGavin!

Back in the ring, Lars Coverdale knocks Jacob Idol down with a spinning jump kick, then goes up to the top turnbuckle... but as he does, Julian Page reaches into the ring and slaps Jacob Idol's hand, tagging himself in! Lars Coverdale comes off... FROG SPLASH!! He hooks a leg... but he's not the legal man! He gets up and turns to Bobcat McGavin, questioningly... and Julian Page slips into the ring, then nails him with a low blow! Lars Coverdale doubles over, and Julian Page hooks his arms, ignoring Bobcat McGavin's admonitions... SWAN SONG!! He just nailed it, and Bobcat McGavin continues scolding Julian Page for the low blow as he goes for the cover... but finally, he just grunts in disgust and makes the three count! Julian Page wins!

The Hammer of the Gods (Julian Page and Jacob Idol) defeated Lars Coverdale and Russel Taylor when Page pinned Coverdale with the Swan Song in 14:02.
Rating: ** 3/4

The crowd boos loudly as Jacob Idol and Julian Page celebrate their victory, and Russel Taylor crawls into the ring, still cradling his right arm, but more concerned with checking up on his partner. As Jacob Idol, Julian Page, and Jasmina Chastity leave the ring in celebration, Russel Taylor helps his fallen friend up and begins helping him backstage, to a small pop from the crowd. If it hadn't been for Chris Champlain, Russel Taylor probably could have neutralized Julian Page long enough for Jacob Idol to get the victory... but sadly, instead we saw another underhanded victory by the Hammer of the Gods.

We're going to go straight through to our next match, which is for the SJW World Tag Team Titles. "Drops Of Jupiter" by Train begins playing, and here come two women from ALW, Amazing Ladies' Wrestling... Rachel Helms and Venus Andrea. The crowd gives them a mild mixed reaction, of mostly cheers. Both of them are young; Rachel Helms is a brown-haired girl who wears a purple leotard with matching boots and lipstick, and Venus Andrea, who claims to be some sort of beauty idol and role model to girls in Brazil, has long, flowing golden hair, and skin of an almost-matching golden shade as well. She wears a leotard and leggings in a gaudy combination of neon green, blue, and black, looking like one of the Rockers from the early 1990s WWF. They enter the ring, and... Venus Andrea grabs a microphone!? Nobody gave her air time...

V. Andrea: Rejoice, wrestling fans, because you have a rare opportunity to see the most dynamic performer ever to step into a wrestling ring. I am Venus Andrea, none other than the Brazilian goddess of love, the woman you've always dreamed of, and the hard-rockin' princess of pugilistic punishment, baby! Tonight, you'll see the SJW World Tag Team Titles liberated from their dire captivity in the hands of those lesbianic androids you call Virginia and Komachi.

I know you're all sitting at home, with the remote controls in your hand, ready to switch over to the redneck station because you don't want to see a couple of big, lumbering, stiff bulldykes, but don't touch the remote... your delivery from boredom has arrived! Tonight, you'll actually see Virginia and Komachi carried to a good match by me and my stalwart partner, Rhonda Helms--

Rachel Helms shoots Venus Andrea a dirty look, and grabs the microphone briefly.

R. Helms: That's RACHEL Helms.

V. Andrea: Sure it is. And it's your lucky night, Rachel Helms, because you get to ride my coattails all the way to championship gold as I--

Hold it, I think that this unscheduled interview is over... "Superbeast" by Rob Zombie just kicked on, and the crowd boos as Virginia and Komachi step out of the backstage entrance, accompanied by Stormy Weathers and Minako. They walk to the ring, with Virginia seeming to be in an even worse mood than usual after her altercation with Johnny Smiles earlier tonight... and they're not wasting any time in climbing inside and preparing for a fight! Linda Peterson enters the ring and calls for the bell, and this match is on!

For the SJW World Tag Team Titles:

Komachi & Virginia (c)
w/Stormy Weathers & Minako

vs.

Venus Andrea & Rachel Helms

Komachi and Virginia both have a considerable size advantage, and they quickly put it to good use, first brutalizing Rachel Helms, then bumping Venus Andrea all over the ring like a pinball. After Komachi sends Venus out of the ring with a wicked bump from a savate kick, Stormy Weathers and Minako come over and take their own cheap shots, as if they weren't already strongly in control. On a telegraphed backdrop attempt, Venus Andrea gets in a sunset flip on Komachi, then brings her down into a crossed-legs Boston crab, which she calls the Venus Flytrap!! The crowd doesn't pop, not knowing that this is her finishing move, but Komachi struggles and finally pushes her way out of it, then dodges a dropkick by Venus Andrea as she gets up and clobbers her with a uraken that sends her tumbling head over heels, halfway across the ring! Both women crawl to their corners and make tags, and Rachel Helms and Virginia come in. Rachel Helms hits Virginia with a few quick takedowns and dropkicks, but Virginia is too big and powerful; she catches Rachel Helms on a cross bodypress attempt, then brings her down with a backbreaker. A chokeslam follows, then Virginia picks her up and nails her with the Virgin Sacrifice just to be sadistic. Venus Andrea comes in for the save, but eats a kick to the midsection and a power bomb from Komachi as Linda Peterson makes the three count!

Virginia and Komachi defeated Rachel Helms and Venus Andrea when Virginia pinned R. Helms with the Virgin Sacrifice in 0:04:51.
Rating: * 1/4
(Virginia and Komachi retained the SJW World Tag Team Titles.)

That was pretty much a squash... Rachel Helms and Venus Andrea are flattened on the mat, and Komachi and Virginia stand victorious. Can any challengers, from Japan, indy federations, or VCW, dethrone these two? Komachi has been compared favorably to Aja Kong, and while Virginia has no such reputation for great wrestling ability, she may be the largest woman in wrestling history at 6'4" and two hundred and thirty pounds. Who can stop these two? Not Rachel Helms and Venus Andrea, that's for damn sure.

As Virginia and Komachi celebrate, we're going to take a backstage look in the Technicians' locker room...

Backstage...

Owen Addison is preparing to wrestle, as Tim Bell and Paul Canyon also sit in the locker room, watching the monitor. After stretching a few last times, Owen Addison turns to Paul Canyon and Tim Bell.

O. Addison: Wish me luck out there, guys. I'm going out there against Chris Champlain... I know I can take him in a wrestling match, as long as he doesn't get crazy with the hardcore stuff. Watch my back out there in case this gets ugly.

T. Bell: No problem. Good luck, man.

P. Canyon: Yeah. Take him down.

Owen Addison hesitates, looking a little concerned.

O. Addison: Thanks, guys. No hard feelings over last week?

P. Canyon: We'll get over it. Sometimes friends don't get along... but we're still friends, eh?

O. Addison: It means a lot to me. Sorry I've been such a hardass. I'm just driven to succeed, and sometimes it gets in the way.

Owen Addison leaves the room, and Paul Canyon and Tim Bell exchange a glance.

T. Bell: I guess he's a perfectly nice guy, as long as you don't bring up Jennie, Brujah, or reforming the Colour Show.

P. Canyon: I'm beginning to have my doubts about getting the team back together too. It's no use convincing him to team up when he's the way he is... we'd just be the Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau of tag team wrestling. Maybe you and me should give it a run? We did all right when he was out with his shoulder injury.

T. Bell: "All right" is not on the level of the Colour Show, though. I'm not as fast as I used to be, either... my knees don't quite move like they did five years ago, and I'm not a hundred percent positive I'll still be around five years from NOW. I wouldn't look to me for your future...

P. Canyon: Then maybe for the present. I have to face it... right now, I'm a tag team wrestler. I want to be part of a team. Maybe Owen wants his singles career, but at this point, I'm still more comfortable on the tag team scene. Besides... I know we can take Jack Norman and Butch Manson. They're not exactly the greatest tag team in wrestling history.

T. Bell: I know what you mean about being a tag wrestler. You can see it in Owen's matches, too. Every so often, when he's taking a beating or wearing down an opponent, he'll look over to his corner like he's thinking of making a tag... it's subtle, but you can catch it if you know what to look for. But I wouldn't underestimate Jack and Butch. They've gotten a lot more aggressive in the past year.

P. Canyon: Still...

Paul Canyon trails off as Jennie enters the room, cautiously.

Jennie: Hi... I was wondering if we could... talk?

Tim Bell gives Paul Canyon a wary glance, but Paul Canyon doesn't seem to notice.

P. Canyon: Sure. You're in luck... you missed Owen. Come right on in.

Jennie smiles with relief and walks into the locker room as the camera fades out on the backstage scene.

We're back... and "Until It Sleeps" by Metallica begins playing, bringing out Owen Addison to a round of cheers, with a few boos mixed in... Owen's hard-edged attitude may have earned him a few boos, in the eyes of this crowd. He walks to the ring, the picture of determination and focus, then climbs inside, awaiting Chris Champlain. What he said earlier was right on the mark... in a wrestling match, though Chris Champlain is a fine technical wrestler, the smart money is on Owen Addison. But if Chris Champlain can bring chaos and hardcore violence to this match, the advantage takes a drastic shift.

But now "Stormbringer" by Deep Purple begins playing, getting a huge round of boos from the crowd, and here comes Chris Champlain! He stalks to the ring, and you can bet his mind isn't on whether this will be a wrestling match or a violent brawl, and how those tactics will affect him. He's thinking about one thing, and only one thing, and that's unleashing glorious destruction on Owen Addison. We know he's a vicious, sadistic human being, though he's also a great wrestler and high-flyer. Owen Addison has his work cut out for him here, but if he can keep the match on his terms he has a good shot at winning due to Chris Champlain's unusual priorities. Chris Champlain enters the ring, climbs to the top turnbuckle, and throws the robe off, laughing maniacally up at the ceiling, then hops down and prepares for the match as Brendan Powers calls for the bell!

Chris Champlain

vs.

Owen Addison

Chris Champlain is content, at first, to simply wrestle Owen Addison, and he even meets with a fair amount of success here, showing that he's no technical slouch, and causing a little damage to Owen Addison's historically-injured right shoulder. But Owen Addison gets in the lion's share of the offense, taking Chris Champlain to the mat and largely immobilizing him. That's probably a smart strategy, given that Chris Champlain likes to incorporate some high-risk aerial moves into his offense... Owen's best bet is to keep this match on the mat, where he has a slight, but definite advantage.

That doesn't quite happen, though; Chris Champlain shifts gears shortly and begins taking the fight to Owen Addison, dumping him out of the ring and following him out with a plancha, then battering him in a brawl on the outside. Among other abuse, Owen Addison is taken shoulder-first into the steel ringpost, further weakening him, and giving Chris Champlain an edge. Chris Champlain takes the match back into the ring, and begins sadistically working over Owen Addison's shoulder, smiling at every scream of pain or grimace he causes. He puts on an armbar submission, but Owen Addison manages to scramble to the ropes. Undaunted, Chris Champlain goes for a double chickenwing, but Owen Addison fights his way up, then runs up the turnbuckles and kicks off, flipping out behind Chris Champlain! Chris Champlain turns around... right into a jawbreaker!

Both men are down, but Owen Addison is now able to recover somewhat. Grimacing with the pain in his shoulder every step of the way, he mounts some offense, going in for the kill by targetting Chris Champlain's head and neck with suplexes, neckbreakers, and other such moves. After a few nice moves, including a tiger suplex that gets a near fall, Owen Addison goes for the Tombstone, but Chris Champlain counters with a standing headscissors!! Owen's down, and Chris Champlain rolls out of the ring, then begins rummaging around under it... and he produces a gardening spade! What the hell he plans to do with that is anyone's guess... but here comes someone from backstage! His right elbow is heavily taped... it's Russel "The Muscle" Taylor! He comes from behind Chris Champlain and snatches the spade away, then whacks him with it when he turns around! Chris Champlain goes down, then scrambles to his feet and starts running... but Russel Taylor's chasing him! Chris Champlain runs around the ring, with Russel Taylor in hot pursuit, then flees up the ramp to the backstage area, as Russel continues to give chase! Owen Addison stares after them in confusion, and Brendan Powers awards him the victory by count-out!

Owen Addison defeated Chris Champlain by countout in 0:14:43.
Rating: ***

Chris Champlain is still fleeing... and we're going to take a camera backstage to follow this chase! Let's go to that now!

Backstage...

Chris Champlain dashes down the hallways, cackling breathlessly, as Russel Taylor rushes after him about twenty feet behind, armed with a look of grim determination and the spade. Chris Champlain runs out of the arena doors and into the moonlit parking lot, and Russel Taylor continues to follow him, yelling at him as he leaves.

R. Taylor: Get back here and face what you deserve, you rotten scoundrel!

C. Champlain: No!! Come get me, you fool!

Chris Champlain dashes across the parking lot to a chain-link fence that seperates it from the street, then hops up on it and quickly begins climbing. Russel Taylor charges, but he's just a second too late to catch Chris Champlain as he makes it over the fence to the sidewalk on the other side. Chris Champlain stops to make faces at Russel Taylor, but when Russel begins climbing the fence himself, Chris Champlain quickly darts across the busy street, causing a few cars to slam on their brakes and honk angrily, then rushes into an alley on the other side. Russel Taylor makes it over the fence, but instead of dashing across the street he goes to the intersection and waits for the light to turn green, then hustles across, with the cameraman in hot pursuit.

Russel Taylor steps into the dark alley, looking around for Chris Champlain. In the darkness, there are numerous heaps of trash, dumpsters, and trash cans, but no sign of Chris Champlain. Russel's eyes dart back and forth alertly, but nothing moves in the alley, save for a few scraps rustling in the wind.

R. Taylor: All right, Chris Champlain, come out and show yourself! I know you're here, and I'm going to find you if I have to search the whole alley!

Russel Taylor stalks cautiously into the alley, stepping past a row of cans and a sewer manhole. He begins searching through a large dumpster, but as he does the sewer manhole suddenly lifts up, and a hand reaches from beneath and grabs his ankle. Russel Taylor is pulled to the ground, dropping the gardening spade, and before he can react a second hand reaches up and grabs him, pulling him into the manhole!

Down in the sewer (where there are lights and a second camera to document the action for absolutely NO imaginable reason), Chris Champlain pulls Russel Taylor down to a cinderblock walkway overlooking a stream of sewage, then raises a beer bottle that he must have acquired down there and brings it down across Russel Taylor's head. It explodes in a shower of broken glass, and Russel Taylor crumples to his knees. Chris Champlain stands over him and laughs maniacally.

C. Champlain: RUHUHAHAHAHA!!! Down here in the sewers, you will not find life so easy!

Russel Taylor somehow begins to struggle to his feet, clutching his head in pain, but then he shakes it off and stares at Chris Champlain defiantly.

R. Taylor: Urgh... I'm not done yet! Bring it on!

C. Champlain: You insolent little twit! I'll have you for lunch!

R. Taylor: Do it if you can!!

With a defiant shout, Russel Taylor rushes Chris Champlain with a big clothesline, but Chris Champlain ducks and runs under it. Russel Taylor skids to a stop on the slippery floor, arms pinwheeling as he desperately tries to avoid falling into the stream of sewage. But Chris Champlain turns and rushes at him, tackling him into the sewage, and they both fall in with a huge splash, in a tangle of flailing fists and feet. They thrash about wildly in the sludge and muck, trying to keep from going under while at the same time assaulting one another.

Finally, Chris Champlain produces a grappling hook on a rope from somewhere and tosses it at a pipe on the ceiling, then uses it to climb out. Russel Taylor struggles to get to the edge... but as he pulls himself up on the edge, Chris Champlain leaps up on a ladder leading up to the manhole, holding the rope... and he swings on the rope, crashing feet-first into Russel Taylor, knocking him back into the sewage! Russel Taylor thrashes wildly, but this time falls into a current of the stream and is washed out of sight. Chris Champlain watches him go from the rope, laughing maniacally in between gasps for breath, but the rope breaks and he plunges into the murky stream as well! He is also carried out of sight by the current, but strangely, his laughter continues to echo through the corridors of the sewer even as he gasps for breath and thrashes around to avoid drowning. With that, the camera fades out on the sewer scene...

We're back in the arena... and we don't know WHAT to think of that bizarre battle. We've seen a lot of strange things in VCW, but never a brawl in the sewers... that is definitely a first.

Now we're going to see another match, though. "Walk" by Pantera begins playing, and the crowd boos as Crimson, the VCW World Champion, steps out of the backstage entrance, flanked by the VCW World Tag Team Champions, Jack Norman and Butch Manson, and followed by the VCW Television Champion, Brujah. Without a doubt, this is one team that's geared for success... all of its members have championship belts to their name. They come to the ring, Crimson talking with his two teammates and Brujah sullenly bringing up the rear as an outsider, and climb inside. Crimson grabs a microphone, flanked by his henchmen, as Brujah sits in a corner away from them.

Crimson: Last week, Bass Rogers thought he'd come out and steal my thunder, and I set my mind to fucking his shit up hardcore. That didn't happen... I ended up kicking the Grave Digger's ass instead... but send that fat fuck and his worthless teammates out here tonight, and I promise you I'll stick his ass flat on the canvas with the Chokeslam. Bring it on, you tubby son of a bitch... I'm gonna destroy you.

He's going to get what he asked for... "War Machine" by KISS begins playing next, and the crowd cheers as Bass Rogers, Johnny Smiles, Tim Bell, and Paul Canyon come out of the backstage entrance... and Jennie's coming with them! They run to the ring, with the crowd's cheers echoing behind them, and climb inside. What's Jennie doing here? Has she reconciled with the Technicians? Jerry Rogers enters the ring and calls for the bell!

Hell's Bikers (Jack Norman, Butch Manson & Crimson) & Brujah

vs.

Bass Rogers, Johnny Smiles, & Technicians (Paul Canyon & Tim Bell)
w/Jennie

As expected, this match soon erupts into total chaos. Hell's Bikers, Brujah, Bass Rogers, and Johnny Smiles all seem inclined to brawl chaotically in and around the ring, and on more than one occasion Paul Canyon and Tim Bell will take out one or more of their opponents with a dive to the outside. Finally, Jerry Rogers manages to establish some semblance of order, and a wrestling match of sorts results, starting as the Technicians test themselves against the VCW World Tag Team Champions, Jack Norman and Butch Manson. Brujah takes this opportunity to jump down from the apron and start trying to talk to Jennie, but she turns away, wanting nothing to do with him, and Crimson comes over to admonish him. Brujah scowls at Crimson, but reluctantly returns to his corner, and accepts a tag from Butch Manson.

Paul Canyon squares off with Brujah for a few minutes, and Jennie makes it a point to cheer on Paul Canyon, scowling whenever Brujah takes the offensive. Next, Johnny Smiles joins the fray for his side, and the crowd cheers as he takes down first Brujah, then Jack Norman and Butch Manson, with some quick offense. But his luck stops short as Crimson enters on his side and begins bumping Johnny Smiles all around the ring, destroying him like a Doberman with a steak-flavored rag doll. A battered, injured Johnny manages to make the tag to Bass Rogers, however, and then the crowd cheers as the two big men start going at it. After they beat the hell out of each other for a few minutes, Crimson seems to gain the advantage, hitting Bass Rogers with a few of his signature moves, then grabbing him for the Chokeslam... but Bass Rogers stops that with a stiff, meaty fist to the face, then wraps his arms around Crimson and gives him a HUGE belly-to-belly suplex! Both big men crash hard to the mat, and both crawl to their corners, bringing in Tim Bell and Jack Norman!

Tim Bell takes Jack Norman down with a few quick armdrags and a suplex, and then all hell breaks loose in and around the ring as the other six men pile in. Amazingly, in the chaos Bass Rogers, Johnny Smiles, and the Technicians gain the edge over their more brawling-intensive opponents. Finally, Paul Canyon gets Butch Manson down and hits him with the Magic Carpet Ride... but then Brujah clobbers him from behind and puts him in a standing headscissors... POWER BOMB!! Jennie screams in outrage, and Brujah shrugs apologetically to her and turns around... right into the grasp of Johnny Smiles!! SMILEDRIVER!! Johnny Smiles gets up and points to his cranium, smiling... but Crimson grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around, then grabs his throat... CHOKESLAM!! Johnny's down as well, and Crimson bends over to talk trash at him... then looks up, just in time to get NAILED by an onrushing lariat from Bass Rogers! Bass Rogers straddles Crimson and begins beating the hell out of him... but then Jack Norman runs at him and blasts him in the head with a big boot! Bass Rogers goes down... and Jack Norman turns around into a savate kick from Tim Bell!!

Brujah and Butch Manson roll out of the ring, trying to regroup... but Paul Canyon's up, and he wipes out both of them with a flying cross bodypress to the floor, getting a delighted squeal from Jennie... but back in the ring, Crimson and Bass Rogers are up! Crimson backs Bass Rogers into the ropes with a series of punches, then rushes him with a big boot... but Bass Rogers moves, and Crimson ends up straddling the top rope! Bass Rogers runs at him... and knocks him off to the floor with a lariat, then goes out after him! Back in the ring, Tim Bell puts Jack Norman on the top turnbuckle, and climbs up after him... TOP-ROPE FRANKENSTEINER!! He brings him down in the middle of the ring and covers... and Jerry Rogers counts to three!! Tim Bell just pinned one-half of the VCW World Tag Team Champions!

Bass Rogers, Johnny Smiles, and The Technicians (Tim Bell and Paul Canyon) defeated Hell's Bikers (Crimson, Jack Norman, and Butch Manson) and Brujah when T. Bell pinned J. Norman with the Top-Rope Frankensteiner in 0:18:21.
Rating: * 3/4

Tim Bell has won the match... but Bass Rogers and Crimson are still going at it on the outside! They're not ready to stop fighting yet... they want to settle the issue of who's the biggest dog in VCW, and they want to do it now! They're still trading blows in the aisle... but right now, we have to go backstage, where Ziggy Adderloaf is standing by with Ken Collins. Let's take a look at that now!

Backstage...

Ziggy Adderloaf is shown standing backstage with Ken Collins and Stacey Lockman. Ken Collins is wearing the VCW Intercontinental Title around his waist, and Stacey Lockman standing next to him, smiling.

Z. Adderloaf: Hi, I'm backstage with "The California Crippler" Ken Collins and Stacey Lockman. Ken... we know you're under a lot of pressure right now, not only defending the VCW Intercontinental Title against David Wright Hubbard, but also to excel in the Survival of the Fittest Tournament and perhaps earn a coveted VCW World Title shot at Wrestlewar. We'll get to that in a moment, but first... Stacey, I have to ask. We know you've been recovering from your injuries lately... how are you?

S. Lockman: Thanks for asking, Ziggy. I'm pretty much fine... I mean, in my family, there's no such thing as an injury you can't come back from, you know? At first, I was really scared... but now, it's like I know I can beat this. I can walk with no problems now, but it'll probably be a while before I can think about wrestling, though I'd still really like to do that sometime. Speaking of coming back to wrestling, my dad might just have a couple more matches left in him, too. So don't ever count us out.

Z. Adderloaf: Your father, of course, is the legendary NCWA champion, "Pretty Boy" Jimmy Lockman. Mind if I ask a personal question next?

K. Collins: Go ahead.

Z. Adderloaf: I think everyone remembers your little post-match celebration make-out session after you beat Lorenzo Vasquez for the title, and they all want to know, are you guys an item now?

Ken Collins laughs.

K. Collins: And here I thought you wanted to interview me about my wrestling...

Z. Adderloaf: Well, it's just that--

K. Collins: No, it's okay. Actually, we've been getting close for some time now. Stress can create strong bonds between people, and you KNOW how much stress me and Stacey had over the past few months. Blood and Thunder was an emotional night, and I guess it's fitting that it all came out then.

Z. Adderloaf: So you're not worried that people will attribute your success to your relationship with the daughter of one of our bosses?

K. Collins: Absolutely not. Just watch how hard I work in the ring, and try to tell me I don't earn everything that comes my way. Besides, it's not like I'm getting off easy. I've got a match with David Wright Hubbard tonight, and I face Jacob Idol in the second round of the tournament... then, I get either Troy Black, the Digger, or Lance Errington in the semis. I've got my work cut out for me, Ziggy.

Z. Adderloaf: About that hard work... this brings me to your matches. First, what are your thoughts on David Wright Hubbard?

K. Collins: What can I say? He's a former VCW World Champion, and honestly I've never beaten anyone of his caliber before, except for maybe Tony Garcia. But all the people who were ready to call the Tony Garcia win a fluke, who are saying I'm still not ready for the main events, had better watch tonight. David Wright Hubbard's powerful, and a great athlete, but he's not without his weaknesses. Tonight, I'll get one hell of a fight... but I'll also walk away with the VCW Intercontinental Title still in my hands.

Z. Adderloaf: What about the Survival of the Fittest Tournament? The winner gets a VCW World Title shot at Wrestlewar--

K. Collins: The key words being "at Wrestlewar". I'm probably in line for a title shot against Crimson right now... this Intercontinental Title makes me the number-one contender for the VCW World Title, by the rules. But let's face it... only two people get to main-event Wrestlewar any given year. So far, there have been five total. Falcon, Gabriel, Troy, Hubbard, and Crimson. That's pretty good company to be in, if you ask me. Winning the VCW World Title is one thing... being on Wrestlewar is another thing... and to win the VCW World Title, at Wrestlewar... that's the stuff that dreams are made of.

But first, there's Jacob Idol. He's a lot like me... good technician with a strong tag team and submission background. I know he'll give me a tough fight. Then, if I make it past him, it's either Troy Black, Lance Errington, or the Grave Digger in the semis. The Grave Digger would be tough... but I think I could outmaneuver him. Lance Errington is a great wrestler, a great brawler, and a dirty, cheating bastard, and that may be the closest match I could imagine... but I see myself pulling it off. But if it's Troy Black... I've been wanting a shot at him all year. He was the root behind the Black Plague, with Lorenzo Vasquez and all the other evils we've endured since last spring, and I'd LOVE a chance to put him in his place personally. After the semi-finals, all bets are off, and I could face anyone in the finals... but whoever it is, I'll be ready.

Z. Adderloaf: Thank you for your time, Ken... now, we'll get to see how your speculation turns out, as Lance Errington takes on the Grave Digger in a first-round match! Let's get back to the ring!

The camera fades out on the backstage scene.

We're back... and "Perfect Strangers" by Dream Theater begins playing, drawing a huge round of boos from the crowd as Lance Errington steps out of the backstage entrance, accompanied by Derek Cole. Derek Cole dramatically points to Lance Errington and yells "THIS is the MAN!" loud enough to be picked up without a microphone, and they begin walking to the ring together, discussing strategy on the way. Lance Errington is now without his pipe wrench, and now he'll have to face a wounded, but angry as all hell Grave Digger without the aid of foreign objects. He doesn't seem to be taking this match lightly, but neither does he seem to be exceptionally worried. We'll see how far the guidance of Derek Cole goes here; it'd be hard to picture the old, apathetic Lance Errington defeating the Grave Digger, but the new Lance Errington may just have a shot. But first, he grabs a microphone... what's he going to say?

L. Errington: A few months ago, I saw a door that I tried to open. Even though I pushed with every ounce of my will, the door wouldn't open, because I didn't have the key. But now... now I have the key, and the door is wide open. You're looking at a man who is once again socially, professionally, and financially successful, and I owe it all to my agent, my friend, a mastermind of understanding the human race, Derek Cole. His mind is the key to the doors of my future. Thanks to him, I have a plan... and in not too long, everything will be coming up golden.

What does he mean by all THAT? Lance Errington tosses aside the microphone, and the crowd boos... it was almost better when he was spouting angst-filled, bitter nonsense. But now "Wait And Bleed" by Slipknot begins playing over the arena sound system, and the crowd bursts into thunderous cheers as the Grave Digger steps out of the backstage entrance and begins walking to the ring! His forehead is heavily wrapped in bandages, and he looks fit to kill somebody as he walks to the ring, his green eyes burning a hole through Lance Errington! He climbs up on the apron and steps in over the top rope, and Bobcat McGavin calls for the bell to begin this match!

Survival Of The Fittest
First Round Match:

Lance Errington
w/Derek Cole

vs.

Grave Digger

Lance Errington comes on aggressively, attacking the Grave Digger with a vicious series of blows to the head... with absolutely no effect. The Grave Digger quickly retaliates, and begins beating the hell out of Lance Errington, violently assaulting him. Lance Errington finds a few opportunities to regain the advantage and even take the Grave Digger down, and each time he goes for his head with a kneedrop or a series of punches, no doubt trying to compound on any damage done by the wrench earlier. But the Grave Digger seems indestructable, and he just keeps coming back and continuing his onslaught.

The match spills out of the ring, and the Grave Digger keeps on the offensive... but Derek Cole comes from behind and kicks him in the back of the knee! The Grave Digger turns around, furious, but then Lance Errington is able to recover and give him a low blow, then take him head-first into the ringsteps! Bobcat McGavin begins questioning Derek Cole about what happened, having not quite seen that kick... and as he does, Lance Errington grabs a chair and NAILS the Grave Digger in the head with it repeatedly! He's going berserk, trying to hurt this indestructable behemoth, and he just barely manages to toss the chair aside before Bobcat McGavin turns around to look at the two wrestlers.

Lance Errington takes the match back into the ring, and now he takes control, working the Grave Digger over and giving him head shots at every opportunity. Still, the Grave Digger refuses to stay down for long; an Ace Crusher only gets a two and a half count, as does a DDT. Lance Errington applies the Scorpion Deathlock, but unsurprisingly the Grave Digger makes it to the ropes... he wasn't properly softened up for it, and besides he's never been known to submit in his career. Growing desperate, Lance Errington goes up to the top and comes off with a flying axhandle... but the Grave Digger catches him! GRAVE YARD SLAM!! He goes for the cover, and gets a near fall!

The Grave Digger goes on the warpath again, destroying Lance Errington with some hard blows and power moves, then getting another near-fall from the Cradle To Grave. He drills Lance Errington with a massive chokeslam, then draws his thumb across his throat... but before he can go for the Burial, Derek Cole grabs Lance Errington's legs and pulls him to the outside! The Grave Digger turns around and sees Lance Errington gone, then steps out after him! He shoves Derek Cole aside, then grabs Lance Errington and clobbers him a few more times. He places him up on top of the announcers' table, then climbs up with him and lifts him... he's going to give him a Burial on the table!! But Lance Errington kicks and squirms, somehow finding the strength to escape behind him, landing on his feet on the edge of the announcers' table! The Grave Digger turns around... into a low blow from Lance Errington!

Lance Errington turns and orders Derek Cole to take up the mats on the outside of the ring, then hooks the Grave Digger in a standing headscissors... no, he's crazy!! He falls back... PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE!! And that was from the top of the table!! The Grave Digger's down, and he's not moving... but Lance Errington's slow to get up as well! Derek Cole tries to help Lance Errington up and into the ring as Bobcat McGavin's count grows high, but after the Grave Digger's offense and his own share of impact from that killer piledriver, he doesn't seem to be in any condition to stand... and this one's going to be a double countout. They're BOTH eliminated from the tournament now! Troy Black gets a bye to the semi-finals!

Survival of the Fittest Tournament Match -Round One:
The Grave Digger and Lance Errington battled to a double countout in 0:15:04.
Rating: ** 1/2

Neither man is moving... and here come some medics with stretchers for both of them. That was the damndest thing we've seen all night, and this on a night that features a woman trying to seduce her own brother and a free-for-all in the city sewers. A nearly four hundred pound man just took a piledriver off of a table that was three or four feet high, onto unprotected concrete... he could be hurt very, VERY badly. Troy Black took a similar bump off of the table in his match, but he didn't have three hundred and eight pounds landing on his head.

Lance Errington's a little worse for wear himself, and now both men are being loaded onto stretchers and hauled away. The stretchers are going up the ramp... but the Grave Digger sits up!! WHAT THE HELL!? He just sat up, breaking the restraints that held him onto the stretcher like they were tissue paper, and now he climbs off and grabs Lance Errington, ripping him off of his stretcher with similar ease! He climbs up on Lance Errington's stretcher and lifts him... BURIAL THROUGH THE STRETCHER!! The stretcher folds into a "V" shape under that abuse, and Lance Errington crumples to a lifeless husk on the mat! The crowd cheers, and the medics scatter away as the Grave Digger glares down at Lance Errington, then stalks backstage!!

They're going to have to get another stretcher for Lance Errington. Our main event is up next... but first, we're going to take a look in David Wright Hubbard's locker room, as he prepares to challenge for the VCW Intercontinental Title.

Backstage...

David Wright Hubbard is sitting on a sofa backstage, next to his wife, Michelle. He adjusts his kneebrace, then stands up and flexes the leg, before turning to the door.

D.W. Hubbard: Darlin', I've gotta go whip a man's ass now. I'll be back in a few minutes with the title, then we'll catch some dinner and drinks and drive home. Wish me luck.

M. Hubbard: Yeah, good luck... but you don't want me out there?

D.W. Hubbard: No, I reckon I don't. The Lockman brat's gonna be out there too, and I know how it is when you get too many women by the ring... they get to catfighting and all this other nonsense, and it just ain't a good deal. I'd just as soon you stay away from all that P & A crap.

M. Hubbard: It's "T & A crap", honey.

D.W. Hubbard: T & A, P & A, hell, I don't care if it's the Village People and they're singing Y-M-C-A, it's all a bunch of B.S, and I don't want it at ringside. You just rest your pretty little head. Me... I'm fixing to go out there and kick some butt.

David Wright Hubbard turns and walks out of the room, as Michelle Hubbard shrugs and sighs.

M. Hubbard: Hope the kid don't tear his knee up too bad... Lord knows we've had enough problems with THAT lately.

Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. Michelle Hubbard gets up, a bit cranky.

M. Hubbard: No, honey... you didn't forget nothing. Now hurry out there or you're gonna be late!

The door opens, and Lars Coverdale steps into the room.

M. Hubbard: You!? Lord Christ Almighty on a BIKE, what're you doing here!?

L. Coverdale: Okay, check it out. I know you're a big fan of mine, from what you told me earlier... and last time I tried to pay you a visit, your heinous husband came in and shut me down. So I figured I'd come back and check in with you, maybe sign an autograph or two... because I know you wouldn't want to miss out on the Lars Coverdale experience.

Michelle Hubbard rolls her eyes.

M. Hubbard: Oh, brother... look, kid. We set you up, all right? I was supposed to distract you, so he could run in and whip your ass. That was what that was all about. Make sense now?

Lars Coverdale just chuckles.

L. Coverdale: Hey, it's all right babe. He's not around right now, so you can play it cool with me. You don't have to give me all that jive about setting me up. I understand how it works... you're a chick, so you dig me. I mean, why else would you flash me your bra at Blood and Thunder?

M. Hubbard: To set you up again, you idiot! Look, kid... I'm not a chick. If anything, I'm a hen. And I don't "dig" you. I'm not gonna "play it cool" with you. I trained to wrestle in Japan while you were in your cradle and stroller. We got a little generation gap here, you know what I'm saying?

L. Coverdale: Hey, it's cool. So, whereas I'm a Whitesnake and Van Halen kinda guy, you're more of a Hendrix, Doors, and Joplin kinda babe. It's all good. Marty once told me that heavy metal owes a debt to guitarists like Hendrix and Page. I'll bet it's like five bucks or something, though.

Michelle Hubbard slaps her forehead.

M. Hubbard: You're dumber than a sack of hammers, son.

L. Coverdale: Huh?

M. Hubbard: Exactly. So... you're REALLY here because you think ol' Michelle is some kinda shallow-headed Lars Coverdale groupie with a crush on you?

L. Coverdale: Hey, I don't think you're shallow-headed or anything... whatever that means.

Michelle Hubbard sighs.

M. Hubbard: Well, you're too damn DUMB for me to get rid of ya by talking this out, and I'd feel bad whipping your ass just to get you to leave... fuck it. It ain't like the old man's been good for much rolling in the hay anyway these days, always talking about "my knee hurts! I can't do anything!" ... so, fine. Let's see what you got, kid.

Lars Coverdale gives her a confused glance.

L. Coverdale: I'm sorry?

M. Hubbard: You ninny... I mean, let's have SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.

L. Coverdale: Um... wait. So you're saying...

M. Hubbard: Damn it, fuck me before I change my mind about not beating your ass, okay!?

Michelle Hubbard throws Lars Coverdale down on the couch and leaps on him, fumbling with her shirt.

L. Coverdale: Whoa! EXCELLENT!!

The camera fades out as Michelle Hubbard straddles Lars Coverdale, then strips off her shirt and throws it aside.

Good God... Lars Coverdale is as dense as they come. Considering that David Wright Hubbard already wants him dead, fooling around with his wife may not be advisable. But now "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath begins playing, and David Wright Hubbard storms out of the backstage area, looking as menacing as usual, but seemingly oblivious to what's going on backstage. He stomps to the ring and climbs inside, stopping to yell at the booing crowd, then begins pacing inside the ring like a caged animal, waiting for the entrance of Ken Collins.

And now "Liquid Mercury" by Jimmy Page begins playing, bringing out the VCW Intercontinental Champion, "The California Crippler" Ken Collins, along with Stacey Lockman! This'll be a big test for Ken Collins... if he can get by David Wright Hubbard tonight, it may prove that he's as good as many people seem to think he is. This could be the biggest challenge of his career... he's going up against one fierce, angry, powerful man, with his title on the line. Ken Collins walks to the ring and cautiously climbs inside, then takes off the VCW Intercontinental Title and hands it to Stacey Lockman. David Wright Hubbard rushes him... but Ken Collins was on his guard, and he catches David Wright Hubbard with a barrage of punches and chops as Linda Peterson enters the ring to call for the bell!

For the VCW Intercontinental Title:

"The California Crippler" Ken Collins (c)
w/Stacey Lockman

vs.

David Wright Hubbard

Ken Collins starts off strong on offense, and even when David Wright Hubbard overpowers him in a brawl and starts to take the upper hand, Ken Collins uses his skills and athleticism to keep the tide from turning. When David Wright Hubbard whips him into the ropes and prepares for a huge lariat, Ken Collins leaps up on the ropes and springs backwards with a big Asai moonsault that takes David Wright Hubbard down, getting a pop from the crowd and a two count from Linda Peterson! Ken Collins begins working over David Wright Hubbard's historically-injured right knee, giving him no quarter and taking away his vertical base.

Ken Collins keeps the advantage for a few minutes, but then David Wright Hubbard mounts a comeback fueled by pain and outrage, dumping Ken Collins to the floor and beating the hell out of him on the outside, stopping briefly to taunt Stacey Lockman as he does so. With Ken Collins battered and beaten, David Wright Hubbard sets up a table perpendicular to the ring apron, then rolls Ken Collins up onto the apron next to it, climbs in the ring, and mounts the top turnbuckle... we know what's coming! Ken Collins gets up... FLYING CROSS BODYPRESS!! Ken Collins goes down, falling off the apron through the table, with David Wright Hubbard on top of him! The crowd gives a mixed round of cheers and boos, and starts a chant of "V-C-W!" in appreciation for that spot. David Wright Hubbard rolls on the floor, clutching his knee in pain, but Ken Collins is clearly the worse off for that move, and David Wright Hubbard rolls him back into the ring, then climbs in after him and goes for the cover, getting a count of two and a half. Too much delay between hitting that Flying Cross Bodypress through the table and making the cover, or else he could have possibly had him!

David Wright Hubbard waits on Ken Collins to get up... then SLAUGHTERS him with a huge lariat! He goes for the cover... and THAT only gets two and three-quarters! David Wright Hubbard sneers at Ken Collins, then pulls him into a standing headscissors... but Ken Collins grabs him by the leg and brings him down with a single-leg takedown into an ankle lock submission! The crowd cheers, and David Wright Hubbard yells out in pain! He begins struggling for the ropes, gaining inch by inch, and he makes his way near... but Ken Collins pulls him back into the middle of the ring by the leg, then reapplies the ankle lock to a huge pop from the crowd! David Wright Hubbard scrambles desperately and pulls himself up to one foot, then leaps up with an enzuigiri... but Ken Collins ducks, still holding his foot, then turns him over, steps through, and puts on a figure-four leglock!! David Wright Hubbard thrashes around in pain as the crowd continues to cheer... but then he begins fighting the hold, trying to turn it over! He struggles... and after a lengthy effort, he turns it over, and Ken Collins must release the hold!

They both get up, but Ken Collins is up first, and he waits on David Wright Hubbard... then lashes out with a savate kick! But David Wright Hubbard ducks, and Ken Collins grazes Linda Peterson instead! She goes down... and when Ken Collins turns back to David Wright Hubbard, he gets mowed down with a diving lariat! David Wright Hubbard rolls out of the ring, then walks with a heavy limp to the timekeeper's table... and he grabs a chair on the outside! Stacey Lockman steps forward to protest, but David Wright Hubbard stops her with a malicious glare and a raise of the chair, then slides into the ring. Ken Collins gets up... and David Wright Hubbard NAILS him with the chair!! But Linda Peterson's getting up now, having only been barely caught by the savate kick, and David Wright Hubbard tosses the chair aside and goes for the cover! Linda Peterson counts... AND KEN COLLINS KICKS OUT!! At the last possible instant, Ken Collins kicks out!!

David Wright Hubbard stops to argue the call with Linda Peterson briefly, but soon realizes that won't do any good... so he places Ken Collins up on the top turnbuckle, facing the crowd! He climbs up after him, hooking him for a top-rope power bomb... but wait, the ViolenTron just flickered on! David Wright Hubbard hesitates, staring at it in confusion...

Backstage...

Lars Coverdale and Michelle Hubbard are shown backstage, in David Wright Hubbard's locker room. Michelle Hubbard is wearing her panties and fastening her bra on, and Lars Coverdale is pulling on her jeans.

L. Coverdale: Babe... that was super awesome. You ever want to give the Lars Coverdale experience a try again, just let me know. Anytime, anywhere.

Michelle Hubbard rolls her eyes as she reaches for her shirt.

M. Hubbard: No, thank you. No offense, but I've had better. Let's just say the Heavy Metal Express came in a little too early.

Lars Coverdale's brow wrinkles in puzzlement.

L. Coverdale: So... what's that supposed to mean?

M. Hubbard: You nitwit... it means you EJACULATED PREMATURELY, and you finished before I could have an ORGASM.

L. Coverdale: Oh. Oops. My fault.

M. Hubbard: Never mind, just get the hell out of here already! I'll bet my husband's almost done whipping that punk's ass, and if he finds you back here he's gonna kick your ass next.

L. Coverdale: Isn't he already gonna do that?

M. Hubbard: Yeah, but he's gonna kick it worse if you don't get outta here! Now scram!!

Lars Coverdale grabs his shirt and darts out of the locker room as Michelle Hubbard shakes her head and gathers up the rest of her clothing, and the camera fades out on the backstage scene.

Back in the arena, David Wright Hubbard's still standing on the top rope, with Ken Collins in a standing headscissors, staring at the ViolenTron with a gaping jaw! He yells "I'M GONNA KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH!!" ... but Ken Collins is squirming now! David Wright Hubbard allowed him some time to recover by staring at the ViolenTron so long, and Ken Collins lifts... BACKDROP!! He just backdropped David Wright Hubbard from the top rope to the mat! David Wright Hubbard crashes down hard, and then starts to get up... but Ken Collins turns around on the top turnbuckle and waits for him... FLYING DROPKICK!! He caught him square in the chest, and David Wright Hubbard goes down! Ken Collins goes for the cover and hooks the leg, and Linda Peterson counts to three!! Ken Collins retains!!

Ken Collins pinned David Wright Hubbard with the Flying Dropkick in 0:17:14.
Rating: *** 1/4
(Ken Collins retained the VCW Intercontinental Title.)

Ken Collins has defeated David Wright Hubbard, and retained the VCW Intercontinental Title! The crowd cheers as he rolls out of the ring to grab the title and celebrate with Stacey Lockman as he heads up the ramp. This may be one of the biggest victories of his career... but back in the ring, David Wright Hubbard is getting up, and his face is practically boiling with inner fury! Lars Coverdale may have just signed his own death sentence... but tonight, Ken Collins has defended the VCW Intercontinental Title successfully, and we're out of time! Here's the current Survival of the Fittest Tournament standings as we go! See you next week!!

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