Samhain Offering 10.31.07 - Thomas Gains Moxley and Eddie Mordred We thought about calling this a Halloween update, but then we realized that Halloween is just a shallow commercial holiday, an excuse for a bunch of jocks to get drunk and go to parties with their slutty girlfriends wearing slutty costumes. That's why they exclude us every year: because for them, it's an excuse to pretend to be dark, but we Warlocks are dark every day of the year. That's why we're calling this our "Samhain Offering," in honour of the TRUE spirit of the holiday: the Celtic celebration of the pagan New Year, when the ancient Celts would build altars decorated with skulls to honour the dead, which they believed appeased the ghosts that would visit them at night. So in the spirit of the holiday, we're making an offering of our own: Here's a photo essay from Thomas called This Town in the Rain. It's a journey through both Douglas County and Thomas's twisted psyche. Never before has a dark heart been laid so bare (except for the time that prick Brad stole Thomas's diary and read it to the class during AP creative writing. Brad's a stupid motherfucker.) That's all for tonight. (Oh, and Brad, if you're reading this: if you egg my house again this year I SWEAR TO GOD I'm going to bury your car in a ditch.) Can you feel my black heart beat? 04.01.07 - Thomas Gains Moxley and Eddie Mordred Welcome to The Warlocks. We have created this site as a haven for the open minded, those who fearlessly mock the hollow hypocrisy of so-called "normal" society and are persecuted by shallow fools. Like Brad from gym class and Father Matt from church. Here we will be free from the stares and judgement of others, free to express our innermost dark yearnings and desires. First, for your reading pleasure, we have a poem from Eddie Mordred, entitled "My Heart." I'm not going to lie to you, I cried a little when I read this during forth period English. It made my mascara run a bit, and then Kelly Simons laughed at me. The stupid bitch. I told her just because her great grandpa was a slave or something doesn't mean she knows how it feels to be discriminated again, and then Mrs. Bree made me go to the principal's office. Fascist bitch. Next, I've drawn a comic for you. It's called Curse of the Warlock. It's about how the things we think we love can take over our lives and isolate us from our friends. I posted a new pic and a bio of me on the Author Biographies page. I think it's pretty good. The pic was the best one on my MySpace page, anyway. Finally, I wrote an article about the The Five Best Metal Bands You've Never Heard. These bands are all really good. It's the kind of stuff they don't play on shit music channels like MTV that just play the same crap that everybody listens to. Except when they play Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold, I guess. That's all for now. Also, stop e-mailing me about what happened to those stupid "Courageour Knights." That name doesn't even make sense. I'm glad we took over their webpage.